


A Handful of Stars

by neonheartbeat



Series: A Handful of Stars [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abstinence, Accidental Voyeurism, Alcohol, Awkward Boners, Awkward First Times, Awkward Sexual Situations, Betrayal, Blood and Injury, Canon Related, Children, Coruscant, Cunnilingus, Death, Enthusiastic Consent, Eventual Happy Ending, Explosions, F/M, Female Ejaculation, Fights, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghost Obi-Wan Kenobi, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Internal Conflict, Jedi Training, Kissing, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Lightsaber Battles, Minor Poe Dameron/Rey, Multi, Mutual Masturbation, Nudity, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Planet Naboo (Star Wars), Politics, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rescue Missions, Rey Needs A Hug, Reylo - Freeform, Rough Sex, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Tension, Swimming, The Force, Wakes & Funerals, Wedding Night, Wedding Planning, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-03-05 12:22:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 62
Words: 162,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13387716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neonheartbeat/pseuds/neonheartbeat
Summary: Rey thought her choice to leave behind Kylo Ren was final. Kylo Ren though his decision to seize power was absolute. The Force, however, has other ideas. From Naboo to Coruscant, from chance encounter to Force-vision, from political plotting in the New Republic to a battle in the Graveyard of Alderaan, they meet each other on every field and learn the meaning of bringing balance to the galaxy.





	1. The Bond

**Author's Note:**

> Picks up where TLJ left off. Canon-divergent (unless JJ Abrams reads my mind).
> 
> WARNING: If you're lost and hate Rey/Kylo, this is not the fic you are looking for. Do not leave me nasty comments. Your hatred only makes me stronger.

 

Rey could feel it deep in her core. Something wasn't right.

Everything should have been all right. The small remnant of the Resistance was safely stowed in the Millennium Falcon, flying to safety away from the First Order. Everyone was all right.

So why did she feel like something was horribly wrong?

She tried to put it out of her mind as she charted a course for Naboo at the direction of Leia and exchanged a few words with Chewbacca. She tried to ignore it as she checked on Rose Tico, the girl who'd nearly killed herself trying to save Finn's life. But the creeping feeling wouldn't leave.

Rey could remember vividly the last thing she'd seen before closing the gangplank on Crait. The white salt of the ground, and on it a blot of a man, hair and robes black as ink, a salt-white face staring up at her beseechingly.

"Go away," she muttered to her memory, and pulled off her boots to curl up on her bunk with an ancient Jedi text, intending to read it. It proved to be incredibly boring, and she found her mind drifting back to the stark core of her unease.

_How could they have seen each other through the link in the Force if Snoke was dead?_

He must have been lying, she thought. Must have. Or perhaps he never created it. Or maybe he'd faked his own death? So he was still alive somewhere and  the link remained? A terrifying thought. There was nothing she wanted less than the sudden and startling appearance of _him_ on the Falcon.

( _Ben_ didn't seem to fit, and neither did _Kylo Ren,_ for her. Not after the battle in the throne room, where he fought to protect her, where he begged her to join him, where she'd called him _Ben_ and begged him not to do this.)

Rey tried to lose herself in a repetitive passage about the will of the Force, and that was when she heard it.

The gentle, humming sound of the Falcon's hyperdrive was suddenly replaced with the sound of an odd mechanical whine.

Rey sat straight up, hoping it was just her ears ringing, and looked to the left. Nothing. She looked to the right. She was alone in the bunk, just her in the tiny room.

She sighed in relief—it must have just been her imagination—and glanced back over to the left.

Kylo Ren was standing against the wall, robed in black, huge and looming and far too close for comfort.

Rey recoiled, dropped the book and plastered herself against the opposite wall in shock. "Get _away_ from me!" she snapped.

He blinked at her, his wide mouth slightly open as if he had just noticed her. "You're back," he said tonelessly.

" _You're_ the one who's back," she spat, "and I'd appreciate it if you could _not—"_

"Why is the Force still connecting us?" Kylo Ren looked her up and down. "I still can't see your surroundings."

Curiosity overcame Rey's initial shock. "I—I can't see yours either. You're in my room."

"You're in my throne room," he said. "Your room must be small if that’s as far as you can get away from me."

"Throne room?"

"Yes. I'm the Supreme Leader of the First Order. I've been relocated to the _Finalizer_ , since the _Supremacy_ was destroyed.  It came with the promotion." One corner of his mouth lifted almost imperceptibly.

"Are you—you're making a joke." Rey blinked at him. "How—"

Kylo Ren suddenly straightened and looked at something she couldn't see, behind her. Rey turned automatically and heard a clipped, nasal voice, distant and echoing as if from a cave. "Supreme Leader, we are still unable to track the Resistance ship. All efforts have remained futile."

"Thank you, General," said Ren. "We—" his eyes flicked to Rey, and his fingers twitched—"will not attempt pursuit for the present. Sooner or later someone will see a Corellian freighter and report it."

The garbled voice moved away, and Kylo Ren looked back at Rey. "Where are you going?"

"You can't use the Force on me through the link, you already tried—"

"I'm asking you where you're going."

Rey stared at him. _Does he honestly think I'm going to tell him?_ "I've no idea. Why don't you ask your mother?"

"My—" Kylo's face went flush with barely suppressed rage, and he opened his mouth again to spit out what were no doubt several choice words, and just as quick as he did, suddenly he was no longer there, and the soft noise of the Falcon's hyperdrive was once more filling her ears.

~

Rey sat down and tore open a ration, gulping it down in the main hold with the other Resistance fighters. With Luke gone, the number of people she could ask about things pertaining to the Force was down to a likely 0, but she needed to ask _someone_ what on earth to do.

"We've got everyone bunked down in the forward hold and the number two," Poe Dameron was saying to Leia. "That about does it for everyone."

"Good. How's Miss Tico?" Leia's face creased in slight worry.

"Better. She was conscious earlier, and we've got bacta patches on her."

"We'll get her to a med-center once we reach Naboo," said Leia.

"Are we sure they won't turn us in?" asked Rey.

"I have many friends there," said Leia. "Their senator was among those murdered in the destruction of the Hosnian system. There's not much love for the First Order on Naboo. We should be safe."

"They didn't come to help us on Crait," Poe pointed out.

"No, Naboo is demilitarized. They had nothing to send. It's been that way since the days of the Empire." Leia looked for a moment as if she was seeing very far off. "It's a peaceful planet, very beautiful. It reminds me a little of Alderaan."

Rey had never heard Leia speak about her destroyed homeworld, and from the looks of him, neither had Poe. "Alderaan?" asked Rey, not wanting to pry.

"Apart from the temperature, of course. Naboo is much more damp and warm." Leia offered a small smile, seeming to come out of her reverie. "You seem troubled, Rey."

"I—" Rey glanced at Poe, unsure of how much to say. "I've been having…problems…with the Force."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?" quipped Poe.

Leia rolled her eyes. "Commander, don't you have some officers to go check on?"

As soon as Poe had disappeared through the hatch, Leia turned to Rey. "What sort of problems?"

Rey hesitated, fiddling with her fingers. "There is…Snoke…he did something, and periodically I can see and hear your—I can see Kylo Ren. I can't see his surroundings, but I can hear them. And as far as I know it's the same for him."

Leia's brow wrinkled. "You don't control this, or do anything to make it happen?"

"No. It just—does. And Snoke is dead. So I don't know what keeps pulling us into the same Holonet chat, as it were, but—"

"I understand," said Leia thoughtfully. "Hmm. As I understand it, projecting one's self to another place through the Force takes an immense amount of skill and focus. I couldn't do it. You couldn't either. And I don't believe Kylo Ren could. But to link two people through the Force, to orchestrate it as a third party…that doesn't take as much power."

"You don't think one of us is unconsciously doing it?" Rey chewed on her lip.

"No. That's nearly impossible. But if the person who did it is gone, the link may still remain for the Force to connect you as it will." Leia frowned. "How many times have you seen him?"

"Last cycle. I was trying to sleep and he was just—there. He told Hux to stop looking for us. And got angry when I wouldn't tell him where we were going."

"Well, there's a surprise," Leia said dryly. "At any rate, don't tell him a thing. We can't stop the link from existing, so we'll see what happens. Gather as much information as you can. Anything you hear, overhear, or are told: report it to me directly."

"Yes, General," said Rey.


	2. Serendipity

Rey went back into the crew quarters, which she shared on a rotation basis with Poe and a woman she couldn't quite remember the name of—Koo, she thought, one of the surviving ground crew. It was her turn for the fresher, so she stripped down in the tiny space and hopped in, enjoying the sensation of the reclaimed warm water from the Falcon's tanks on her back and washing the rest of the salt and the dirt off her body.

Real water showers were an unthinkable luxury on Jakku. She'd bathed in the small freshwater ponds on Ahch-To, and that had been a novel experience, but this was certainly a step up. No dirty feet, and controls that could blow and warm you dry after your shower at the touch of a button.

She was done with the blow dry cycle and just stepping out when the atmosphere shifted with an almost imperceptible sensation, and suddenly Kylo Ren was standing across from the sliding door, staring right at her as if he'd been there the whole time.

"Kriff," she swore, and snatched her arms closely to her body.

He reacted nearly the same, immediately averting his eyes and looking down with an astonishing amount of composure. She looked up and realized he must be in the middle of a conversation, because obviously he knew she was there but he was refusing to look at her directly and only looking at someone just to her right.

"Yes," he said, low and controlled. "They may attempt to reach a Core World to gain more funding and manpower. However—" he stole a glance at her again, looked away quickly, "however, there were hardly any Resistance fighters left by the time they got offworld. Our final estimate was no more than twenty left alive. It is my opinion that they pose no great threat at the moment, and we would be better served focusing our efforts concerning the trade route dispute in—"

Rey realized he was in the middle of some kind of board meeting, and the sudden appearance of a naked woman had probably startled him more than it had her.

Somehow, she didn't think Leia would want to hear the details of this particular encounter.

She eyed her clothes across the room, which probably needed to be washed, but Kylo was still droning on about border disputes and she figured since they couldn't speak, she might as well get changed.

She dropped her arms and strode across the room, cheeks flaming in spite of herself. Kylo suddenly had a massive coughing fit and excused himself from the meeting, then disappeared. She yanked on her pants and was just pulling her shirt on when Kylo reappeared to her right, standing by the bunks.

"If you _ever_ do that again—"

"Oh, stow it," she snapped. "I have things to do and I can't wait around all day for you to get off the line."

"I don’t _control_ this," he snarled. "I didn't intend to intrude on your—personal time."

"I don't control it either!" she spat, and yanked her tunic on. "Where are you? Not in the meeting I hope."

"I'm in a side corridor. There's no one around. It's a big ship." Kylo regarded her. "I'm given a wide berth. It's… lonely."

"Oh, lonely? I can't imagine why. My ship happens to be packed full of people you tried to kill." Rey left her wraps off and just belted her tunic close to her body.

"You can still come back," he said. "Rey."

She remembered his first plea to her, so long ago on Starkiller Base: _You need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force._

Luke was gone. Leia knew of the Force, but not enough, not enough to teach her…

"I already have a teacher," she said, battling down the shred of temptation and thinking of the ancient texts stowed under her bunk.

"Do you?" he asked, and narrowed his eyes.

Yes, anything was better than having Kylo Ren as a teacher. "I'm not joining you. You can feel free to join _me_ if you like. Otherwise—"

There was a sharp rap on the corridor door. Poe's voice came through, loud and clear. "You done in there? Not to rush you, but I've really gotta—"

Rey turned toward the door. "Just getting out," she called, and when she turned back, Kylo Ren was gone.

She exhaled softly, grabbed her dirty clothes, and let Poe in.

"Thought you fell in," he joked. Then he noticed the look on her face. "You all right?"

"Yeah. Sorry. Just lost in thought."

"Hey, if it's the Force again, whatever it is…" Poe looked as if he didn't know exactly what to say. "The least I can do is let you talk it out. You did save all our lives."

"Thanks," she said. "It's hard to explain. I'm just…having strange visions. But it won't affect me. I hope."

"Jedi stuff, am I right?" Poe squeezed her shoulder. "Anyway. Chewie wants you in the cockpit. Something about needing a copilot."

Rey brightened. "You can speak Wookie?"

"Hardly. I'm getting the general gist down. Don't quiz me." Poe held his hands up in a gentle mock surrender.

"See you around," she said with a lingering smile, and climbed through the hatch. She quite liked the commander. He was warm, personable, and friendly. She could see why he'd risen through the ranks at such a young age.

Leia met her in the corridor. "I felt something," she said without preamble. "Did you see him again?"

Rey's face went hot. "Um. Yes. He was in some kind of meeting, and was telling the First Order to not pursue us because he doesn't think we pose a threat."

Leia frowned. "It might be a ruse."

"I—I have reason to believe it was not," said Rey. "I would…rather not go into detail about it."

"Ah, I see," said Leia, not unkindly. "Anything else you learned?"

"He's lonely," said Rey. She hadn't meant to say that, it had just slipped out. "People are avoiding him. Probably out of fear, if I had to guess." 

"They're certainly justified in their fear," said Leia, looking distant. "Well, you're on pilot duty until we land, so get on up there. And—you're doing well," she added as an almost-afterthought.

 _Well, I'm trying,_ Rey thought to herself as she tromped up the corridor.


	3. Welcome to Naboo

They landed on Naboo in a few short hours. Rey sat in the cockpit and watched in awe as the streaks of hyperspace receded, giving way to the stillness of space and the glowing green-blue planet suspended in front of them.

"Wait 'till you see the royal palace," said Leia, over Rey's shoulder. "Once we get into the atmosphere, comm in and use my personal code to request a landing spot in Theed."

Rey nodded in assent and flipped a few switches, accelerating slightly. They swept in closer—it wasn't a very large planet at all—and were soon descending through soft clouds towards several wide landing platforms.

" _YT-1300 492727ZED, we are detecting your approach. Please identify yourself. Over."_

Rey keyed in Leia's code, reached up, and pulled down the transmission lever, sending it to the communications center. "We read you. This is the Millennium Falcon, requesting to land, over."

There was a short pause. " _Millennium Falcon, you are cleared to land. Approach platform four. Your party will meet you shortly."_

Chewbacca let out a string of barking noises. Rey frowned. "No, I don't know what they mean either." She tapped her comm. "Read and understood, thank you. Falcon out."

Leia squeezed her shoulder. "Don't worry. We're safe. These people mean us no harm."

"I wish I could believe that," muttered Rey as Leia limped back down the corridor to gather everyone. "All right, landing estimated time at…about fifteen minutes. Set to autopilot…platform four…" She clicked another few switches and stood up. "Okay, I'm going to go check on Rose and Finn. You got this?"

Chewie nodded and growled assent, and Rey headed back down the corridor to the medical area, where Finn was in the process of helping Rose sit up.

"Whoa, careful," said Rey, stepping in and supporting Rose from the other side. "Miss Tico?"

Rose cracked open a still swollen eye and grinned. "My _mom_ called me Miss Tico."

"Oh, sorry," said Rey, and patted her face. "Bacta—"

"We ran out," said Finn grimly. His dark face was gleaming like polished wood, a fine sweat on his forehead and upper lip. "She's got some pretty bad bruises, too. Something's probably broken, but we won't be able to tell without a scanner."

"We're landing on Naboo in fifteen minutes. They have good med-centers. You can hold on till then, right?" Rey asked Rose.

"I'm not about to keel over and die, if that's what you mean," said Rose, gasping a little for air. "How did people live before bacta?"

"Painfully," said Finn with a smile, and sat next to her. "Here, lean on me. I got you."

"Thanks," she said weakly, and gingerly lowered her body down. "Oof."

Rey squeezed Finn's hand. "Take care of her," she said softly, and left, poking her head into the hold where everyone was gathered around Leia, who was briefing them on what would happen once they landed on Naboo.

"I will meet the landing party, leaving Commander Dameron in charge until I return. Rey will accompany me. We will speak with them and arrange quarter. Then we will send for you. Understood?"

Soft murmurs of "yes, ma'am," echoed, and Leia turned. "Ah, Rey. Good." She turned back to the crowd. "Rey, as I'm sure you've all been talking about among yourselves, is a Jedi learner, young but strong in the Force. She will ensure the truthfulness of anyone we speak to, and at the first sense of danger, we will leave."

 _Great,_ thought Rey. _I'm a lie detector and a spy, all in one._

"We should be landing any minute now," said Poe. "Remember, in the event of a problem there are hiding places under the floor in the main corridor…"

Leia took Rey to the boarding ramp. "I'll do all the talking," she promised. "You just stay behind me and look calm. Got it?"

"Got it." Rey swallowed.

The Falcon shuddered, stopped, and came to a soft rest. Rey waited for the green light signaling a full stop before pressing the button to lower the ramp, and she and Leia walked out into bright, clear sunlight and warm, fresh air.

Rey blinked in the light, trying to see the party of several people walking towards them. Leia was already advancing, hobbling slightly on her cane, so Rey legged it quickly, coming to follow just behind her.

The woman leading the group was in the most elaborate and impractical getup Rey had ever seen. Velvets, silks, fabrics Rey didn't have a name for—all colors, dripping with jewelry and wearing something huge and ridiculous on her head, and the whole look was complete with delicately applied white face makeup and a red stripe running from her lower lip to her chin.

Behind her were three girls in long dark hooded robes that were a little bit more to Rey's taste, and flanking them were several men and women in flowing clothes and elaborate hairdos who Rey figured must be officials of some kind.

Leia paused and looked at the lead woman, the one in the outfit that cost more than Rey's entire life. "Queen Doruna. It is good to see you."

The queen's face was practically immovable, but a very quick, small smile slipped past her mask before resuming her impassive expression. "General Leia Organa, you are most welcome here. I was informed of your escape from Crait by my advisors. Are you in need of medical assistance?"

"We are," said Leia. "There's a wounded technician on board, and a dozen or so very shaken young people."

The queen blinked. "How many are your numbers?"

Leia sighed. "No more than twenty. It was a very close escape."

"Diye So," said the queen, and immediately a young nobleman dressed in gold and brown appeared at her side. "You will please make arrangements for the people aboard that freighter to be housed in the palace and given as much food, medical care, and fresh clothing and gear as can be procured."

"Yes, Your Majesty," he said, and immediately walked off tapping a datapad.

"And who is this?" asked the queen, eyeing Rey.

Rey straightened and looked at Leia, who nodded at her. "I—my name is Rey, Your Majesty."

The queen waited, and when no further clarification as to Rey's person was revealed, she looked at Leia.

"Rey was instrumental in our escape. She is a powerful young Force-user." Leia leaned on her cane. "She was being trained by my late brother, Luke."

"The Jedi Master," said the queen, and her eyes widened in awe. "Please, speak no more. Knowledge can be a boon, or a curse in the wrong hands. Follow me."

Rey fell in step alongside Leia, and it was a bit awkward trying to have a conversation with three silent and cowled women in the way, but they made it up the steps of the palace and inside, where Rey tried hard to not gawk at the massive pillars and ceilings as high as the sky.

"Nomѐ and Yuѐ, would you please escort our guests to the guest suites—I think the Red Suite for General Organa and the Blue Rooms for Rey. Ensure their every comfort." Two of the cowled woman immediately shifted to stand beside Rey and Leia. "Jenѐ, please find Diye So and ensure the care of our other guests. I will make arrangements for tonight."

Rey followed her handmaiden, Yuѐ, down a hall, up a flight of wide marble stairs, down another hall, and through a pair of double doors twice as tall as she was, into a room.

At first Rey thought, _this must be a mistake, she's taken me to the Queen's room instead,_ but Yuѐ marched over and pulled open a pair of deep blue velvet drapes, flooding the place with light. Rey gaped.

The bed was four times the size, no six times the size of her bunk on the ship. It was carved from wood, huge, heavy, and draped in pale blue velvet with a burnout pattern on it. The floor was rosy marble, shot through with silver. There was another pair of doors to the right, and to the left was a hallway leading to—

"Is that a closet?" gasped Rey, staring and too shocked to care what the girl thought of her. Yuѐ pressed a button on the wall, and the smaller room lit up, light glittering off beads, jewels, fabrics. Rey reached out and drew her hand back at the last minute, seeing that her fingers were still grubby from the morning's work on the Falcon.

"Is there a 'fresher?" she asked meekly, half-afraid. Yuѐ nodded and led her back to the other set of doors, opening them to reveal an enormous washroom. Marble everything, silver fixtures, an enormous bath so big Rey could have swam in it, and a cabinet full of cosmetics, hair care products, combs, pins, brushes.

"This is. A bit much." Rey sat down abruptly on the bath ledge and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Yuѐ sat down beside her, pulling the hood of her robe back, revealing amber colored eyes and a warm smile. "You have got to tell me where you're from," she said. "I've never seen anyone almost faint at the sight of a refresher."

"Jakku," Rey told her. She reminded her of Rose Tico, just a bit.

"Oh," said Yuѐ. "That explains a lot. Well, if you want me to do your hair, or help you dress or anything at all, just press the gold knob by your bed and I'll be in as fast as I can." She pulled the hood back to reveal an earpiece, wrapped around the shell of her pale ear. "It will give me a little beep."

"But won't the Queen—"

"The Queen has seven other handmaidens who rotate in and out," explained Yuѐ. "Jorae and Sacѐ are in the throne room right now. I've been permanently assigned to you for the rest of your stay."

"Seven? How many of you are there?" Rey was interested.

"Well, let's see." Yuѐ frowned. "There's me, Jorae, Sacѐ, Nomѐ—assigned to the General, Jenѐ, Enaѐ, Moneѐ, Shirѐ, Ohtѐ, and…oh, Dejѐ. You won't see all of us in one place, ever. Most people think there's only about five or six, maximum. It's for security."

"And you—you have this job for life, or—"

"Oh, goodness no. The Queen only serves two terms, eight years, then another queen or king is elected. Sometimes a queen goes on in civil service, or retires. There was a Queen once a few generations ago who became a Senator after the people tried to amend the Constitution so she could stay in office, she did such a good job. But her name escapes me." Yuѐ waved a hand dismissively. "Anyway, I'd better go get your meal. The Queen says you're to stay here and recuperate as much as possible. Otherwise I'm sure she'd have thrown a banquet for the General."

"Leia needs the rest more than I do," said Rey. "Some of the survivors told me she was sucked into space and still lived, but it almost killed her."

Yuѐ's eyes went wide. "Oh, she should definitely stay in bed. And see a medic! I'll send a droid. Why didn't she say something?"

"I think her concerns were with her people," said Rey quietly, and looked down at her own hands. "I'll wash up while you arrange that."


	4. The Bath

Yuѐ disappeared out the wide doors, leaving Rey to sit alone on the bath and stare out the window at the afternoon sunlight over the gardens. She could hear a rushing, ocean-like sound somewhere that did not ebb and swell like the sound of surf on rocks, and wondered what it was.

With a long sigh, she stood up, peeled off her clothes and boots, undid her hair, and fiddled with the silver knobs until she found hot water, which then poured into the marble bathtub. A glass jar of purple liquid that didn't seem to be a hair care product was sitting in a little recess by the spout, and she experimentally poured some into the bathwater, grinning in delight when frothy, floral scented bubbles appeared. She poured more in and swished the water with her hands, watching the bubbles froth up.

She was so engrossed in the newfound delights of a tub that she never heard the Force shift and change, and the choked sound behind her made her turn and immediately let out her own startled squeal.

Kylo Ren was standing in the middle of her bathroom floor, completely naked and soaking wet. One hand was covering his groin, the other was flinging around in a blind panic.

"Are you—" She could barely look at him, and she also could barely look away. A horrible urge to laugh bubbled up in her throat. "Kriffing calm down, I'm not going to bite you."

He froze, hand outstretched. "I was looking for a towel," he forced out, with all the dignity he could muster. One dark eye opened, then squeezed shut again. "I, uh."

"I can't help you with that. I'm taking a bath." Rey crossed her arms to cover her small chest and crossed her legs too for good measure. All the towels were nowhere to be seen—probably in a cabinet. "Okay, you can open your eyes now."

He wiped water out of his face and stared at her. "Why is the Force bringing us together at _worse_ and _worse_ times?" he growled.

"Maybe it likes when we have our guard down." Rey lifted a shoulder.

"I never let my guard down," he said, almost angrily.

"What, you don't sleep?" Rey rolled her eyes.

"Of course I do. And my room is triple locked with a mechanism that allows me, and only me, to unlock it." Kylo looked down. "I have twenty minutes till another meeting and I need to finish showering."

"Go ahead, I don't care," said Rey.

He hesitated, looked down. "A thought just came to me. I wonder if we can still connect physically across the bond."

Rey almost fell off her perch. "Of all the kriffing things to say when we're both stark naked, why in the _galaxy_ would you want to—"

"—I didn't say I wanted to touch you _naked_ specifically, I said—"

"I heard what you said!" she spat. She turned, quick as a sandsnake, and snatched up a bar of soap, flinging it at him.

There was a shift, and he vanished. The bar of soap smacked into the solid, carved door and broke into three chunks.

Rey knelt down on the floor and picked up the soap. It was beautiful, softly scented and obviously handcrafted. There were dried flowers scattered on top of it. She tried to press the three pieces back together, and when that proved to be useless, all the stress and frustration and grief over the past weeks culminated to a final head and she burst into tears.

The water kept running and she kept sobbing, hot tears falling down her cheeks, and she barely heard the door open and Yuѐ come in.

"What hap—"

"I _broke_ the _soap_ ," sobbed Rey, turning her red, swelling face up to the other girl.

"Ah," Yuѐ said calmly. "Well, we can fix it with some water. Straight up, there we go. Into the bath. Goodness, you like it warm. It's all right."

"I'm s-sorry," Rey managed. "I’m having a—a very bad week."

"That's all right. The queen has terrible weeks too. I understand." Yuѐ dipped the soap chunks into the bathwater and pressed them together for a few seconds, then held the bar out to Rey. "There. Good as new. You see, any problem can be fixed if you approach it from a different angle."

Rey snuffled horribly and took the bar. "Yes," she said hoarsely.

"All right. I'll go get you food and take your clothes to be cleaned. You wash up, and do all the crying you need to," Yuѐ said kindly before leaving.

Rey took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Her tears had passed like a summer storm, and now there was just a tired hot ache behind her eyes and a dead tiredness settling in her gut. She cleaned herself from head to toe, brushed the dirt from under her nails, washed her hair, and combed it straight and loose to dry before climbing out and letting the water drain. A soft robe that covered her from neck to ankle was waiting on the wall, and she wrapped herself in it before padding out to the bedroom.

The carpet over the marble floor was thick and soft, and she wiggled her toes into it.

And then, the shift.

She sighed. "I thought you had a—" She turned, her words choked off, and she looked at the floor in embarrassment.

Kylo Ren was just behind her, still naked, both hands up in his hair, which was full of soap. He hadn't seen her or heard her by the sight of him, so she turned her back again, heat suffusing her cheeks.

Curiosity got the better of her, though. She'd never seen a naked human male. She'd seen plenty of alien genitalia or indeterminate or both genders, but never specifically _that_. She coughed and peered around her shoulder for another look, and he jerked forward as he was rinsing his hair, slapped one hand over his crotch, and whacked his elbow on something she couldn't see.

"Sorry, sorry," she sputtered.

He let out a few very choice curse words and jerked upright, wet hair plastered across his forehead, both eyes focused on her in an intensely furious glare that made her feel defensive on sight. "We need some—some ground rules for, for this."

"I agree," she said, still red in the face.

"Rule one. No interfering with the other person's daily activities for the duration of the link. Rule two: no purposely trying to make the other person respond to them in public to someone we can't see. Rule three: If one of us is linked to the other and the other person happens to be naked, _don't kriffing look._ " The last words came out in a snarl, his crooked teeth bared.

"I'm sorry," she said, ashamed. "I've never seen—I mean, I don't—I—"

"This isn't a joke," he seethed. "I'm the Supreme Leader of the First Order. I can't be wasting my time on _you._ "

Rey felt furious tears well up in her eyes again. She advanced on him, not caring that her wrapper was too big and falling of her shoulders. "You think I _want_ you to keep appearing in my 'fresher? You're the worst person I've ever had to deal with in my life. You pretend nothing you do affects other people, living people, but I know you. I've seen into the heart of you, all your fears." She was inches away, and looked directly into his eyes, angry tears running down her cheeks again. "You're _never_ going to be as strong as Vader. Never. You're still truly Ben Solo, and you _hate_ it—"

With a wordless snarl, Kylo lunged forward—

—and grabbed her by the arms.

Rey froze in fear, but no vision filled her head, no sights of a future. His face was shaking like he didn't know what to do with himself once he'd caught her.

"You're—" she began, shocked. His hands were real, present, as real as Yuѐ's, as real as her own.

"Rey" he said, voice breaking, hands trembling. "I—"

Her anger and fear fled, leaving only pity in its wake. "Ben," she said softly, and he met her eyes with his. "Please. It isn't too late. I know there is still light in you."

He shook his head. "No. No, there's darkness in _you._ "

"You could change the course of fate," she insisted. "You could bring peace and light to the galaxy. Don't you see? It all rests on you."

"Funny. I was thinking it all rested on you," he said, and the corner of his mouth quirked up. His grip loosened on her arms, but stayed there.

She brought her hands up and experimentally touched a finger to his left shoulder, the unmarred one. "You feel real," she said.

"So you do," he said, and let go of her, his hands dropping to his sides. "I—I shouldn't."

"What—" The door opened behind her and Yuѐ came in bearing a large covered tray, and Kylo Ren  frowned.

"Who is that?" he asked, suddenly alert and intent.

"Here's your food. I'll leave it here and go." Yuѐ gave a little dip and smiled at Rey, who smiled back wanly and hoped to the Force she didn't say a word about Naboo in Kylo's earshot. "Feeling better?"

"Much better, thank you. I'll sleep after I eat. I'm tired."

"See you in the morning." Yuѐ shut the door behind her, and Rey turned with a sigh of relief to Kylo, who was still frowning into the room.

"You should put a towel on or something." Rey climbed up on the bed and opened the tray, and stared in awe at the food. There was a wide, shallow dish of steaming yellow soup, a round of warm flatbread with whipped butter, a cut of meat with some kind of garnish alongside it, a dish of leafy greens, a smaller bowl of cut fruits and another bowl of something unidentifiable, brown and yellow.

Kylo picked up a towel from somewhere unseen and tied it around his waist. "Dinner?" he asked.

"Can you see it?"

"Yeah." Kylo looked a little put out. "Looks like it beats a protein tube."

Rey crossed her legs and dug into the flatbread, savoring every bite. "Mmm. Delicious."

"What did that woman mean by asking if you were feeling better?" Kylo raked his black hair back against his head and his exposed ears stuck out. Rey swallowed her bread.

"I wasn't feeling well earlier." She took another bite. "Don't pretend like you're interested in my well-being. It doesn't suit you."

Kylo pressed his lips together. "Fine. I have a meeting." He sounded clipped and toneless again. "Enjoy your meal."

"Oh, I will," she said to the empty room, and started on the soup.


	5. The Meeting

Rey opened her eyes to warm morning light and an empty, large, incredibly soft bed. Her tray was gone, and she sat up dazedly to realize she'd slept in the bathrobe and was a little sweaty as a result.

She padded over to the huge closet. Her clothes had not been replaced, and the only option left seemed to be the myriad robes and gowns that awaited her.

The dazzling riot of color threatened to overwhelm her. "It's just a bunch of dresses," she told herself sternly, and pulled out the nearest thing, a navy blue silk gown with about a hundred pleats in the skirt shot through with gold and silver that was attached to a velvet overdress. "Don't these people wear anything simple?" she groused, and slid hanger after hanger of yellow, red, green, and iridescent fabrics until she finally found a simple-looking dress that seemed easy to put on by herself.

It was brown and blue, a two-toned stiff fabric she had never seen, pleated all over the skirt in tiny little folds that made her dizzy to look at—but it could be put on over her head, so she dropped her robe and yanked it on, pulling it down to settle on her body in front of the large mirror on the wall.

It looked fairly decent. The sleeves were a little snug and the neck was wide, leaving her neck and part of her shoulders exposed. It was a little loose in the waist and bust, but was serviceable, and she didn't look like she was drowning in fabric.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in," Rey called out, and Yuѐ stepped in, wearing a new hooded gown of spring-green velvet and bearing another tray.

"Breakfast," she said, and set it on the table by the window. "Oh, you got into the closet! There's an overdress that goes with that. Should I find it?"

"I'd rather be able to move," Rey said.

Yuѐ turned a bit pink. "Well, it's just that, um. That's basically underclothes. And Queen Doruna has requested an audience with you and the General as soon as you've eaten, so—"

Rey crossed to the table, enjoying the sound of rustling fabric as she sat. "Let me just eat and then you can dress me up as whatever you like. Just, please… no crazy hats."

Yuѐ smiled. "I"ll go through this while you eat," she said, and whisked off into the bowels of the closet as Rey shoveled down a garnished omelette, toasted flatbread with whipped green butter, sweet blue jam, a cup of caf, and a glass of red fruit juice.

Yuѐ emerged from the depths bearing a brown velvet overdress and a pair of sturdy slippers. "Ready?"

Rey groaned and pushed her chair back. "I guess," she said.

~

She had to admit that Yuѐ had a talent with dressing. Rey looked at herself in the mirror critically. The brown patterned velvet ended in a point just below her knees and clasped at her throat with a brooch, giving her the same sort of high collar as her wool vest, but leaving her exposed shoulders bare and enveloping her arms in long billowy sleeves that gathered at the wrist in a cuff. Yuѐ had pulled her shoulder-length hair into a bun atop her head and set a gold band to hold the base.

The slippers were, well, slippers, but they had thick soles and didn't pinch her feet. Rey was slightly surprised as how easy the entire getup was to move in. Yuѐ had also applied some minimal makeup, after Rey made her swear to not cake it on like the Queen's, and she was surprised at how much such a small amount of fine powder made. Her eyebrows were gently filled in, and some color on her cheeks made her look a lot fresher than she felt.

"Now you're ready. Follow me." Yuѐ led her out the doors and back through halls and down stairs to the throne room, where Queen Doruna sat, dressed in cream and gold robes, her hair elaborately braided across her headpiece and set with silver rings. Three other cowled handmaidens in pale green robes flanked her, silent and hooded.

"I trust you slept well?" asked the queen.

"Yes, your Majesty," said Rey.

"Please, sit." Doruna indicated an empty chair to her left. "The General will join us shortly."

Rey sat, trying to not wrinkle the dress. She privately wondered what sort of getup they had Leia in, and that was when the General herself strode through the marble arch, dressed in a dark, slaty blue gown with structured shoulders and collar that made her look taller than she really was.

"General Organa," said Queen Doruna. "I'm very glad to see you on the mend."

"I'm happy to report I'm feeling much better," said Leia, sitting in the unoccupied seat to Doruna's right. "Now, what is it that you wanted to speak to us about?"

"Your friends have been escorted under my protection to the Lake Country," said Doruna. "My advisers and I thought it would be the best decision. It's very secluded and safe. Medical aid has been given to all wounded, and they're all resting."

"Wonderful." Leia smiled. "I can't thank you enough for all you're doing."

"Any daughter of one of our Queens deserves all the aid we can offer," said Doruna.

Rey's mind came to a screeching halt. Had the Queen misspoke? Wasn't Leia a Princess of Alderaan, not Naboo? But Leia was smiling, as if she hadn't heard, and they were talking about plans to get Leia and Rey to the Lake Country to reunite with the Resistance fighters now.

Rey remained quiet, her fingers curled into the base of her palms. _I'll ask later,_ she thought, and with an effort brought her attention back to the meeting.

She was distractedly trying to figure out of the Queen's headpiece hair was actually growing out of her scalp, or just a decoration, when she felt it.

Just the smallest, slightest _shift,_ and the unmistakable sound of a crackling lightsaber.

Kylo Ren appeared, wearing his short, belted black tunic and holding his lightsaber, which he powered off almost immediately and stared at her in frank astonishment. His pale face was covered in a sheen of sweat, and Rey belatedly thought _he must be training_ before remembering he could hear the conversation, and then—

"So we will send you both off to Varykino this evening," Queen Doruna was saying, completely unaware of the crisis brewing right in front of Rey's eyes.

Leia stiffened and looked at Rey. _She feels it too._ "Excuse me—Rey, you don't look very well. Would you like to take a walk in the corridor?"

"Yes, pardon me," said Rey, who was quite sure all the blood had drained from her face. She stood up and walked out immediately, turning her back on Kylo and getting out of earshot from the throne room before ducking into an empty side hall and whirling around. He was still standing behind her, as if he'd never moved.

She couldn't think of anything to say. It wasn't like either of them were intending to drop in at the worst possible times for either of them. But at the same time, she desperately hoped he hadn't heard where they were going.

Kylo broke the silence. "You look—nice."

"Did you hear the conversation I was in the middle of?" she asked in a strangled voice, unable to breathe properly.

"Varykino." Kylo clipped his saber to his belt and wiped his face with his sleeve, his face unreadable. "Which means you're somewhere on Naboo, or on a planet near Naboo, I would guess."

Rey stumbled toward a recessed bench and collapsed against the wall, feeling like she was going to be sick. _Poe. Rose. Finn. I've killed them all._

She didn't even have a lightsaber to defend herself with. The two halves of Luke's destroyed saber were still tucked away on the Falcon in a secret compartment, and she'd been planning on repairing it, but—

Kylo Ren raised his hands. "Rey. Listen to me."

Rey couldn't do anything but beg. "Please, don't—"

"I'm not going to tell anyone where you are."

She stared at him, her mouth wide open. "You're lying," she managed.

"I'm not lying. I'm alone. Nobody knows I heard this conversation." His face twisted into a moue of conflict. "I—I don't want you harmed. I'm the Supreme Leader. Whatever I tell them, they'll believe."

Rey couldn't breathe. "I can't trust _you_ ," she rasped.

"No one will come for you or any of your friends," he said. "I swear it." He approached a little closer and knelt down in front of her. "Rey. I swear it."

"How am I supposed to trust you?" Her voice shook. "This is a peaceful planet. You don't understand. The people here are kind. They're good. You can't come here and start murdering—"

"I'm not going to come murder anybody," he said. "Please believe me."

"Why wouldn't you?" Rey snapped. "You told me once to kill the past and let it die. But you can't even do that. You hold onto the past more than anything else."

"That's not true," he said bitterly.

"You're obsessed with a dead man you never knew. You want to follow in his footsteps and you can't even take a step because you're frozen in your own doubt and fear." Rey leaned forward, glaring into his face. "You hate everything. I felt it in you."

"I don't hate everything," he said. "I don't hate you."

"Don't lie to me. You hated me the second you realized I would never join you."

Kylo looked down and took off his right glove, then looked up at her. "I did then. I don't… now."

"What are you doing?"

"Shaking on it. It's a promise. I won't send anyone and I won't come. You're all safe." He extended his hand, and she eyed it mistrustfully. "I know you don't have any reason to trust me. So let this be the first step."

"The only reason you would want me to trust you is if you were trying to build up my trust to get me to join you again, and that is not going to happen," Rey said.

"That's not what I'm—will you just shake my hand?" A flash of irritation crossed his face, and she reached forward and pressed her left hand to his right. She'd not noticed before how large his hands were. Her fingers, which she'd always thought clumsy and thick, were dwarfed by his.

"There, are you happy?"

He gave her hand a shake, then looked at her, clearly unwilling to let go. "If you're going to Varykino, you should go to the veranda facing the lake on the second floor."

"Why?" Rey asked, her hand feeling hot and sweaty in his.

"That's where my grandmother and my grandfather were married." His eyes flicked across her face. "Ask the General. She'll tell you all about it."

He vanished suddenly, Rey's hand freed. The corridor was empty. She blinked in shock and looked down at her hands.

"...Darth Vader was _married_?"


	6. Questions and Answers

Cloistered up with Leia in the older woman's quarters, the retelling came easier. Leia's room was even bigger than Rey's, decorated in red and white, and Nomѐ had brought tea for them to sip.

It was a Naboo tea, which meant it came with intricately made little pastries full of meat and fruit and cream that Rey almost felt bad about eating, sweets, a silver pitcher of cream, and another of dark caf.  Rey sipped her tea out of a cup that was so thin the light from the fireplace glowed through it.

"And then he said that I should go to a terrace—some terrace on the second floor, I don't know—where he said his grandfather and grandmother got married."

Leia looked into the fire. "Yes," she said softly. "They did."

Rey set her cup down. "You mean—he wasn't lying? Darth Vader was married to someone? Who would marry anyone like that?"

"He wasn't Darth Vader yet," said Leia, looking back at her. "He was still a Jedi Knight when he and my mother eloped in secret."

"Your mother…"

"The former Queen Amidala of Naboo. She was at that time serving in the Old Galactic Senate. They fell in love." Leis smiled thinly, almost sadly. "Her name was Padmѐ."

Rey stared at her own cup, feeling as if she was intruding on something private.

"His name was Anakin. Anakin Skywalker. He was one of the greatest Jedi Knights to ever fight in the Clone Wars, and he was tempted to the dark side and became Darth Vader." Leia looked down at her lap. "Padmѐ died after giving birth to twins, myself and Luke. Luke was taken to Anakin's homeworld of Tatooine by Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin's old mentor, and raised by relatives of Anakin, moisture farmers. I was…more privileged." She shook her head slightly. "I was adopted formally by Breha, Queen of Alderaan, and her consort, Senator Bail Organa. Bail knew Padmѐ well—she helped form what would later become the Rebellion, in fact."

"When did you find out?"

"Oh, it was a process: a lifetime of gathering, putting pieces together, finding old notes and logs. You don't find out the galaxy's best kept secret all at once." Her eyes creased, remembering. "My father, Bail, made no secret out of the fact that I was adopted. It was common on Alderaan. I had no real desire to discover my birth parents. And then…information began to present itself. So I dug, as any curious person would."

"But…" Rey bit her lip. "But why did Anakin fall to the dark side?"

"I don't believe anyone but the Emperor and Vader knew that in full. But I do know what Obi-Wan told my father—that Anakin was driven mad by visions that Palpatine was allowing him to see through the Force, and the fear of the visions becoming reality drove him to pursuit of dark knowledge and an alliance with Palpatine." She sighed. "Sometimes, we inadvertently bring things about in our efforts to stop them from happening."

"Fate is fate," said Rey, calling to mind an old saying she'd heard on Jakku. "You can't change it."

"Maybe so," said Leia. "At any rate, we'll wait for nightfall, thank our guests for their hospitality, and make our way out of here via hydrospeeder. We should reach the Lake Country by midnight."

"Do you think he was telling the truth?" Rey asked, as she finished her tea and rose to leave.

Leia was silent for a moment, looking into the fire. "I think he was," she said finally. "I think if he truly wanted you and all of us dead, he would be here by now."

Rey did not feel comforted by that. "Are you sure we can't stay here? He doesn't know we're in Theed. He just knows where we're going."

"Our place is with the Resistance." Leia leaned back and sighed. "Go get some sleep. Yuѐ will make sure your things are packed and she'll come fetch you when it's time to go."

"Yes, General," said Rey, and turned, leaving Leia alone by the fire.

~

Back in her room, she successfully removed the outer layer of clothing, but found she couldn't quite get the crinkly, stiff underdress off her body without, she feared, tearing it. She eyed the golden call button, but her pride ultimately won out. 

"What—do these people—have—against—loose clothing?" she gritted out as she struggled to get the sleeves off. Somehow her right hand had gotten stuck against her chest, inside the bodice, and her left hand flailed uselessly, trying to pull off the dress.

"I don't know, but you look pretty funny," said Kylo Ren from behind her.

Rey closed her eyes and silently screamed at the Force. "You can stand there and laugh at me, or you can help me. Pick one. Or I'm going to start—playing saberdart toss—with your _face_ as the target."

A pair of large hands came down on her shoulders, and she jumped, startled, twisting around and smacking into his bare chest.

He was wearing just his black trousers, and he was barefoot, apparently in the middle of getting ready for bed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's fine. I can't get this blasted thing off." She held still as he appraised her situation.

"Right. Hold your left arm straight up." She did as he said, and he reached up and tugged gently on the fabric at her wrists, loosening the tight sleeve as it eased off. His left hand took hold of the wide neck, and she felt strangely warm. "And now," he said, and pulled upward. All the fabric slithered and hissed off her, rushing upward in a crinkly mass over her head before being swished away to the side, revealing Rey, standing there in nothing but her breast-band and her underwear.

"Ah," said Kylo, looking very hard at everything in the room but her. "I—this is a violation of rule three."

Rey's stomach felt odd. "I'm not naked," she pointed out.

He looked back at her. "Well. No. There is—"

Rey didn't know what possessed her, but she reached around behind her and loosened her breast band, taking it off, without her eyes leaving his face.

Kylo Ren choked off his sentence mid-word and froze, just staring at her, his ears and face turning pink, his lips parted in shock.

Rey held her chin up and faced him. "I'm not afraid of you," she said.

"I don’t want you to be," he managed, and looked down, then coughed and let one of his hands fall just a little too casually in front of his crotch. "I—I'm sorry, I can't—"

"What's wrong?" Rey asked, curious. "You have pants on. I can't _see_ you."

"Oh, no, trust me: you'd be able to see this," he said.

"See what?" she demanded, and he gave her a _you asked for it_ sort of look before moving his hand away and revealing—

"What the kark is _that_?" Rey blurted out in surprise.

He was so surprised that he snorted. "It's—you've never seen a human male react to sexual stimuli?"

"No," she said, mystified. She drew closer. "Can I touch it?"

"That would be an invasion of personal privacy," he informed her.

"It's not like we aren't already invading each other's privacy," she said. "Does it hurt? How does that work?"

Flustered, Kylo Ren looked down at his own pants and then back at her. "Not precisely, and I am not going to give a biology lecture to a woman using my own reproductive system as a show and tell."

Rey glared at him, then bent down and took off her underwear. She stood back up and put her fists on her hips. Kylo Ren stared at her, his mouth open. The long bulge straining against the front of his pants gave a visible twitch, and he immediately looked away, clearly fighting the urge to cover himself.

"Now you have to show me. Fair is fair."

"That’s not how this works," he said, flustered. "Did nobody ever tell you anything about human reproduction?"

"I—" She flushed, and suddenly felt like she was about twelve again. "I know when I bleed, it means I can have children. I know a seed has something to do with it, and there are thousands of little cells inside me, and they have to come together to make a fetus. That's about all I gathered from the old women on Jakku."

Kylo Ren blinked. "Well. You aren't wrong per se. It's a bit more complicated than that." He shook his head. "Why are we even _having_ this conversation?"

"You're the one with the—" she gestured at his crotch "—that!"

"You're the one who decided to strip stark naked in front of me!" Kylo was getting redder.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Rey demanded.

"Oh, you're kriffing _insufferable_ ," he said, and yanked his pants down. "There, are you happy?"

Rey froze and let out a hysterical little giggle, then choked, turning bright red. "I'm sorry! I've never seen—"

Kylo gave her a long, hard look. "You really haven't," he said. "Well, next time you see one, hopefully you won't laugh."

She realized too late he was insulted. "I'm sorry. I don't know anything about—human male, um, parts."

He pulled his pants back up and buttoned them, his expression inscrutable. "That's obvious."

Rey lunged forward and grabbed his arm. "Kylo! I'm sorry!"

"Don't touch me," he snarled, and shook her off like she was nothing. "You should be ashamed of yourself, and you're too ignorant to know it. I should never have let this go this far."

Rey stepped back and dropped her hands. "I asked you because I _trusted_ you," she said, embarrassed tears filling her eyes.

"You—" He turned, and reached out to her. Then he was gone, the wind of his passing just touching her skin, like a butterfly's wings.


	7. Arrival at Varykino

The trip to Varykino was surprisingly short. Rey, cloaked in a long hooded robe that concealed her face, sat next to Leia in the hydrospeeder and stared out over the dark water of the river at the thousands of lights in the city.

They rounded a bend, and Theed receded behind them. Ahead was only flat water, sparkling in the light of Naboo's three moons. Rey could see them far above her: grey, green, and blue, hanging low in the black night sky.

Just after all three moons had set, they docked at the porch of what seemed to be a large house on the shore of a lake, but it was so dark Rey couldn't see much detail. The pilot helped Leia out, then Rey, then helped Rey wrangle the three large cases of supplies and clothing (for Rey, mostly, at Yuѐ's insistence) onto the dock before he tipped his hat and sped away, disappearing into the night.

"I'll just—" said Rey, and then the click of a primed trigger sounded, sharp and quick.

"Don't move," said a familiar voice.

Leia looked exasperated. "Commander, if I wanted to kill you, I would have been a lot quieter about it."

Poe stepped out of the shadows, dark hair tousled and handsome face drawn into an expression of shock. "General! Rey!" He lowered his blaster. "Stand down, team."

Five other people moved in the shadows, and Rey tapped the cases. "We could use some help getting these inside," she said.

"Absolutely. Come here." Poe opened his arms and she grinned and gave him a hug. He was warm and solid, reassuring. "How ya been?"

"Oh, you know. Hanging around royalty." She pulled away and grinned at him. "Where's Finn?"

"Oh, back with Rose. She's doing a lot better." Poe pointed at the bags. "You want these in the main room?"

"Yes, those two are for you all and this one is mine, because apparently I don't have decent clothes." Rey turned back around. "Be right back."

She ran into the house. It was dimly lit, and she concentrated hard. She could sense Finn was nearby, just…down this hall, and to the left….

Rey opened the door and both Finn and Rose turned to look at her in astonishment, sitting on the floor in a lushly furnished room lit by firelight.

"Rose! You look great!" she exclaimed.

"Rey!" Finn leaped up and embraced her in a bear hug. "Where have you been? I barely recognized you!"

"I stayed in the palace and the Queen wears the _weirdest_ crowns. Rose, how are you healing?"

Rose grinned and stood up. She was clean, her bruises gone, wearing a plain white sleeveless shift, and her black hair was loose and combed neatly. "Never better. Still tired, but they said that was normal. Can you believe this place?"

"It's beautiful." Finn turned back to Rey. "I was thinking tomorrow, if Rose is up for it, we should all go down to the beach. There's one around the north side of the house."

"I'd love to." Rey beamed.

A tootling string of beeps sounded, and Rey turned to see BB-8 roll in and make a beeline for her in excitement. "BB-8!" she cried, and knelt to greet the droid. "It's so good to see you all."

"Oh, let me show you around the house," said Finn. "It's amazing."

"You guys have fun, I'm going to try to get some sleep," said Rose with a grin, and stretched out on the sofa.

~

Finn wasted no time in familiarizing Rey with the layout of the villa. There was a large dining room, two kitchens, four sitting rooms, ten bedrooms, ten washrooms, three floors, a library, and multiple verandas. "Wait till you see it in the morning," he said. "It's a little spooky at night, but by day the sun just lights up all the marble."

"Where is everyone sleeping?" asked Rey.

"About two to a room. Some people want more privacy and are sleeping in the sitting rooms. Some don't want to be alone." Finn looked down, and she gathered he was one of the latter.

"I wouldn't want to be, all the way out here," said Rey. "Leia should have a room to herself, though."

"We'll find you a place to sleep," Finn said, and led her back down to the open deck where the two supply crates had been opened, Koo Millham (that was her name, Rey remembered) directing where to put the food and weapons.

"This is all fresh," she said, turning her wide eyes up to Poe. "They were very generous."

"They're Naboo, of course they are," said Leia. "Hospitality, peace, and wealth is what they're known for."

"Once we get done with this," said Poe, "we can all go to bed. And sleep in a little."

"Thank the Maker," said Koo, and rubbed her eyes.

"General, there's an unoccupied third floor bedroom we thought you might like," said Finn.

"I'd appreciate that," said Leia with a small smile.

"I'll show you to your room, then," said Finn, grinning as he grabbed her pack and led her up the shallow stairs into the bowels of the villa.

Rey took off her dark cloak, struggling a little with the clasp. "Which just leaves me," she said to no one in particular.

Poe looked up. "There's an extra bed in the room I'm put up in. You're welcome to take it."

She smiled at him. "Sharing a bunk again, just like old times."

He chuckled. "It was only three days ago, you moof."

Koo stood up with her arms full of packaged food. "Never been happier to have my own room, tell you that."

Rey laughed and picked up her wardrobe case. "All right, Commander, show me where I'm going."

~

Poe's room was long and narrow, much smaller than the state bedroom at the palace in Theed, but still large enough to comfortably sleep at least four people. There were two small balconies by each bed on opposite ends of the room, the doors draped in light silk curtains.

"That's yours," Poe said, pointing to the bed on the left. "The door there leads to your 'fresher. I wouldn't bother unpacking, you can sort all your presents in the morning."

Rey rolled her eyes. "These people wear the most unnecessary clothes. I swear I have enough in there to last me a year."

Poe chuckled. "They tried to set me up with a wardrobe too. I'll admit, it's not terrible. But it's a bit much, as you said."

"I'm too tired to even shower," Rey said, and tossed her cloak onto the chair by the bed. "See you in the morning."

She waited until Poe had ducked into his washroom before disrobing down to her underwear and loose white shirt, then collapsed headlong into the soft bed.

~

Rey jolted straight up out of a sound sleep, gasping into pitch blackness.

She had the most uncanny feeling that she was being watched in the dark, that she'd woken a hair too late to catch something peering down at her. Sweat broke out on her lip, cold and clammy.

"Hey," said a half-sleepy voice, and the glowlamp on Poe's side flicked on, revealing a tousled, shirtless Poe sliding out of bed. "You okay?"

"Bad dreams," Rey managed, feeling sick. The room was empty, but she stole a look toward the closed balcony doors anyway. "Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you." She reached over and turned on her own lamp.

"I know what bad dreams are like." Poe switched off his light and walked towards her, his plain silk sleep trousers flapping gently. "Scoot over. I'll sleep between you and the window. Is that all right?"

"That's fine," she said with some relief, and moved to the side as he crawled up into bed with her and pulled the silk cover over them both. "Thank you," she said, lying back down and relaxing. It felt much safer with someone between her and the window.

"Don't mention it." He flung one arm above his head and yawned. "Night."

Rey listened as his breathing gradually slowed into a deep, regular cadence, and fell asleep again, feeling much safer than she'd felt in a while.

~

Gradually, Rey opened her eyes. The sun outside was shining through the curtains, Poe was passed out, still sleeping, and—

Kylo Ren was standing in a plain black tunic, staring down at her from the right side of the bed.

She met his gaze. "Morning," she mouthed, not wanting to wake up Poe.

His gaze went from her to Poe, and she realized he could see him. "What are you _doing_?" he hissed.

Rey blinked, confused. "Sleeping," she whispered. "Why?"

Kylo opened and closed his mouth a few times. "You're _sleeping_ with him?"

Baffled, she looked back down at Poe. "I—well, yeah. Just last night, though. I had a nightmare. He usually sleeps over there." She indicated the other side of the room.

"I—" Kylo Ren's face was a study in confusion. "You—you didn't, he didn't—"

"Didn't what?" Rey said, utterly bewildered.

"Nothing. Forget I said anything. Did you make it safely to Varykino?"

"Yes. Along with a ridiculous suitcase of gowns I was told I simply _must_ try on." Rey affected a silly voice and slid out of bed. She didn't miss Kylo's eyes flickering over her and quickly averting to the side. "What are you doing?"

"The usual. Woke up about an hour ago, training, then another string of meetings." He looked back up at her as she crouched over her wardrobe case. "I'm—I want to apologize for losing my temper. Again. Last time."

Rey sat back on her heels and opened the case, then looked up at him. "I wasn't lying," she said. "When I said I trusted you about that sort of thing."

"I know." Kylo crouched down. "I just—I've never done anything. I know how everything works, but I don't—"

"Oh," said Rey, and went very pink. "Sexually, you mean."

"Yeah," he said, looking uncomfortable.

"I've done that, though." Rey stood up, holding a blue chiffon gown to her chest critically and looking into the mirror. "Not with humans, but I know—I mean, I know where things go when you're, erm, crèche-sharing."

"Crèche-sharing?" Kylo said incredulously.

Rey turned pink. "It was a year ago and it was one time, all right? He was a very good looking Twi'lek and he—look, it isn't important."

Kylo seemed to be recovering from this newest revelation. "Just for future reference, 'sleeping together' is the human euphemism equivalent to 'crèche-sharing' for Twi'leks," he informed her.

"Oh." Rey turned around and stared back at the prone and still asleep Poe. " _Oh._ You thought I—"

"Yes," he said shortly. "Let's change the subject, shall we?"

"Why would that have bothered you, anyway?" she asked, turning around with another armful of fabric.

"Subject. Changing. Now." Kylo pointed at the dress. "Don't wear that. You're in the Lake Country. Blend in. Wear something light and flowy."

"Oh, you're some kind of fashion expert, are you?" Rey said, and picked up the chiffon gown again. "This?"

He eyed her critically. "Hmm. Yes."

"It's dumb. It's going to fall off me." Rey set it to the side. "Leia told me about your grandparents," she said after a pause. "She said your grandmother and grandfather were married here in secret by a holy man, and that—that he saw visions planted by the dark side that led to his turning."

"That is true," said Kylo. "Did she tell you what he saw?"

"No," said Rey.

"The death of his wife in childbirth," said Kylo, looking distant. "He was so afraid of losing her that he sought dark power and ultimately ascended as Darth Vader."

"And then she died anyway," said Rey bluntly.

Kylo's eyes flickered toward her. "Yes, she did."

"All that power and he couldn't stop it," Rey said quietly. "All the power afforded to him by the Dark Side, and he still couldn't save the one he loved. It was a trap."

"He—he still had power—" Kylo had obviously not ever thought of it from that point of view. "He still had more power than any Jedi or Sith ever known."

"And what does power matter if you can't be happy and loved?" Rey demanded. "He lost his wife and he lost his children. Do you really think that was worth it? That it's something to aspire to?"

"Attachment is forbidden by the Jedi anyway," Kylo said defensively.

"And if he'd never broken that rule in the first place, he wouldn't have been plagued by visions of his wife dying, and then he would have never turned to the Dark Side," said Rey.

For once, Kylo Ren had nothing to say.

"I have to get dressed," said Rey softly. "I hope—I hope your day goes well."

He blinked at her, and she saw with some shock that his eyes were wet. "You too," he said heavily, and she opened her mouth to say _are you all right?_ but he was gone.

Behind her Poe, snuffled and rolled over, his hair a riot of dark curls. Rey tiptoed into the 'fresher with her armful of blue chiffon, and resolved to at least _try_ to like it.


	8. Echoes

Breakfast was held in the dining room, where someone had pushed two tables together end to end, creating a very long table that everyone could comfortably sit around.

Rey was pleased to see Rose Tico in a gauzy mauve dress, looking as natural in it as if she'd lived on Naboo her whole life, speaking with Finn in a corner and eating a large yellow fruit. Finn was in a navy blue Naboo men's jacket with big sleeves, looking less comfortable and having an animated conversation about it, pointing at his jacket.

She got herself a cup of caf and a few pieces of toasted flatbread from the steaming tray on the sideboard, then saw Leia sitting with Lieutenant Connix and a few others at the end of the table.

"Rey!" called Connix. "Come sit!" She'd changed out of her uniform into a light green dress with billowy sleeves—although her hair remained the same, up in two braided buns on either side of her head.

"Hello," said Rey, sitting down. "What are we all talking about?"

"Well, a few of us are going down to the beach today. If you want to come along, you're more than welcome."

"I would love to," said Rey, and bit into her flatbread. "General, I need to speak with you about, erm, the Force before I go."

"Of course," said Leia, and put her plate to the side before standing up. Everyone else stood up too. "I'll be in the sitting room. You finish your meal." She swept off, regal in slate grey and white.

Connix watched her go with awe on her face, then looked at Rey. "I still have to personally thank you for saving all our lives," she said. "I always hoped the Jedi would return."

"Oh, um, no problem," said Rey awkwardly through a mouthful of toast. "I mean. I never expected to be having to think about single-handedly cultivating the Jedi Order again."

"But that's going to be so exciting!" said Connix. "You'll get to go all over the galaxy and meet people."

"I guess you have a point, Lieutenant." Rey took a drink of caf.

"Please, call me Kaydel," said Connix. "Also, can you _believe_ the clothes they have here?"

"Oh, it's crazy," said Rey, warming up to this conversation, at least. "They're so—"

"Beautiful!" said Kaydel, and Rey gulped down her "impractical" with another swallow of caf.

"I think they're not…very functional," said Koo Millham, wearing a far more sensible ensemble consisting of dark red leather pants, a brown shirt, and a green leather over-vest. Rey nodded furiously and pointed at Koo.

"Yes. Thank you." She looked back at Kaydel. "I mean, they're gorgeous. But if I want to run somewhere or fix something, I'd have to change into a whole new outfit. Who has time for that?"

"Exactly," said Koo, and sipped her blue milk.

"Where did you even find that?" asked Kaydel curiously. "Everything in my closet was embroidered to within an inch of its life and covered in beads."

"There's a storage room up on the third floor with some old dusty wardrobe capsules. They look like they date from before the Clone Wars. I'll show you, if you like." Koo finished her milk and pushed her chair back. "After you meet with the General, anyway."

"Oh, yes. Be right back." Rey stuffed the other piece of bread into her pocket for later and hurried into the sitting room. The one thing she appreciated about the blue chiffon was that it had deep pockets lined with silk. It rather made up for the fact that the thing didn’t have a back.

Leia looked up as she entered. "Oh, good. Sit." She tapped the seat across from her.

Rey sat. "I saw him again this morning," she said. "I think—I think he might be reconsidering his position."

"Reconsidering?" Leia asked.

"We were talking about Anakin Skywalker's fall to the Dark, and he seemed to be a little shaken by the things I said." Rey looked down at her hands. "I think—I might be able to persuade him back to our side."

"Your persistence is admirable." Leia clasped her hands in her own lap and sighed. "You know, one of the last things Luke said to me—I told him I knew my son was gone, and he told me, 'No one is ever really gone'." She looked out the window. "Perhaps he was right. Perhaps my son is still in there somewhere. But I can't be the one who brings him back."

"What was he like as a child?" asked Rey, her interest piqued.

Leia chuckled. "Quiet. Withdrawn. Intensely curious about everything he saw. When he was four I had to practically drag him away from a live conduit because he wanted to see what would happen if he touched it with a knife." She smiled at the memory. "He would sit and read for hours. He'd get all grouchy if you interrupted him. I remember thinking how much like Han he was, that quick temper if you interrupted his focus or his work."

Rey smiled. "So that's where he gets it."

"Probably a little of that from me too," Leia said. "He wasn't a bad child. He was…lonely." She shook herself and looked up at Rey. "You go enjoy the water. It's a nice day."

"Yes, ma'am," said Rey, and hurried back out the door, joining Koo and Kaydel by the arch leading to the stairs.

"You're going to love this," said Koo. She led them up to the third floor and down a hall, coming up against a door that was closed tight. She placed her booted foot on the door and pushed hard, and it opened with an irritated creak, exposing what was certainly a storage space, with an angled ceiling and unfinished walls.

It was dusty. It was, in fact, so dusty that Rey noticed the handprints on one of the wardrobe cases where Koo had previously opened it, as they were the only clean spots in the room. "Oof," she said, covering her nose and wishing she had a breathing filter on. "Is this it?"

Koo strode over to the case and opened it again, revealing layers on layers of clothing. Rey knelt down by Kaydel, who was already picking up a pair of white, form-fitting pants and stroking them.

"This is old," said Rey, feeling strangely as if she shouldn't touch the clothing. There was something odd about the Force, a strange sensation clinging to this pile of forgotten and discarded clothing. "Koo, I think you were right. These date back a long time."

"Oh, definitely." Koo gently laid aside a utility belt and held up a transparent, embroidered golden cape that was rotting away in her fingers. There were faded flowers and vines, and as Koo's fingers brushed across it, they browned and crumbled like autumn leaves. "Look how old and delicate this one is."

"I wonder who they belonged to," said Kaydel, and reached for a sturdier velvet piece among the finer fabrics. "And why did they leave them all the way up here?"

Rey caught a glimpse of a plainer, tan suede fabric under something heavily embroidered, and reached forward without thinking to pull it out of the pile. It was a sleeveless, simple shirt with a high, folded collar and a loose waist. Her fingers brushed across the chest, and then she heard a woman's voice, pleading, faintly rushing in her ears, as if coming from somewhere down in the earth, or under a lake.

" _Anakin…you're breaking my heart…"_

Rey's fingers curled tight around the shirt, and an image swept into her mind's eye, an echo through the Force, blurry and unfocused, but clearly of two newborn infants in a pair of sandy-robed arms, and the same woman's voice, struggling to speak—

_Luke. Leia._

She dropped the shirt and jerked to her feet, seeing nothing but Kaydel and Koo's surprised faces, upturned and staring.

"These clothes belonged to Padmé Amidala, Leia's mother," said Rey. "We should treat them with care, and—" Her eyes were watering, and she told herself it was only dust. "And we should respect her memory, and the wishes of whoever left her things here."

Kaydel and Koo exchanged a look, clearly unwilling to part with the newfound pants, but also not wanting to argue with a Jedi. "I think," said Kaydel, "a sensible woman who owned practical clothing would be pleased that someone else got good use out of them."

Rey considered this. "You're probably right," she said, and wiped her eyes. "But we should put them back when we're done wearing them."

"Deal," said Koo, and scooped up a pile of burgundy fabric. "Now, let's go down to the beach before everyone else starts wondering where we are."


	9. Lessons at the Lake

The beach was beautiful. Rey had never seen anything like it. The warm blue water, a stretch of golden sand, and beyond that, green grass as tall as her knees, dotted with flowers in every color she could imagine.

"Last one in's a gundark!" yelled Rose, barreling past the three of them in nothing but her breast band and underwear. "Torpedoooo!" Rey squealed in surprise as the smaller woman leapt into the air, pulled her knees to her chest, and dropped into the lake with a _flump_.

"Torpedo!" shouted Kaydel, and hastily divested herself of her own clothing.

"Torpedo?" Rey looked around, bewildered.

"It's something you shout when you jump into the water and pull your legs in like that," explained Koo with a smile. "You can swim, right?"

"Um." Rey felt a little awkward. "Well. Not very well. I mean, my one experience in deep water was more—Force-propelled, on account of I thought I was going to drown, and I don't think I'd be able to do it again."

"Desert planet," said Koo, nodding. "Don't worry. You can stick your feet in, right on the edge. Don't push yourself."

"Thanks," said Rey, and watched as Koo undressed and headed for the water, waving back at her.

Finn surfaced like a fish further out and swam into shore as she sat delicately in her blue chiffon and dunked her feet into the water. "You can't swim?" he asked. She shook her head.

"No, but it's still really nice," she said. And it was. The sun was shining, the wind was beautifully warm, and the water was like a cool bath. She smiled up at Finn, squinting in the light. "You go on. I'll get in eventually."

"You got to at least duck your head," he informed her with a smile, and dove back in.

She sat, enjoying the air for a few minutes, and then felt the Force twist and shiver.

"Hey," she said, and Kylo Ren sat down on the sand beside her.

"Hey," he said. He was in a simple gray tunic and black pants. "I hear water. Are you on the lake?"

"Yeah," she said. "On the beach."

"You wore the dress," he said, sounding surprised. "It looks nice on you."

"Thanks," she said, looking away. "I thought I should step out of my comfort zone a little."

Poe waved at Rey from the water, his bare chest gleaming wet in the sun. She smiled and waved back. "How's the water?" she shouted.

"It's great!" he yelled back, and Finn splashed him from behind. Poe spluttered and turned, splashing Finn back. Rey grinned.

"Poe Dameron?" asked Kylo, eyes narrowed.

"Yeah. Everyone else is swimming. I can't, so." She indicated the ground. "Can you see my surroundings?"

"No," he said. "You look like you're just sitting on my training room floor."

"You look like you're somewhere much better than that," she said.  "You're on the beach. It's a beautiful day. Can you hear the water?"

He tilted his head, and a strange look of yearning crossed his face for the briefest of moments. "I hear it," he said. "And I can almost feel the wind."

Rey leaned forward and scooped up water in her hand. "Can you feel this?" she asked, and flung it at him. It splattered onto his tunic and he looked down with some surprise.

"I—yes, I can." Kylo looked at her again. "I know how to swim," he said. "I could teach you how."

Rey eyed him sidelong and splashed her feet in the warm water. _Do I trust him with that?_  She thought perhaps not, and yet—

"I'll have to undress," she warned.

"Fine by me," he said, a little too casually.

Rey stood up, heart pounding oddly, and unbuttoned her gown, letting it fall to the sand. She felt more naked out here in her breast band and underwear than she'd felt in nothing but her skin. "Okay. Tell me what to do."

Kylo stood up. "Walk into the water until it reaches your waist," he said.

She closed her eyes and took her first step, then a second, then another. The water felt cooler as she went deeper, and she shivered slightly as she felt it rise and drag at her bare legs, her toes sinking into the silt.

When it reached her waist, she opened her eyes. Poe and Finn was grinning and waving from far away, and Kylo Ren was standing next to her, hip-deep in water. She waved back at them, then looked at Kylo. "What do I do?" she asked.

He looked down, sunlight dancing across his long face. Rey noticed that in the light, his eyes were not black, as she had thought, but a lovely deep amber-brown. "Take a deep breath," he instructed. "Then push off with your feet, and float on your back."

"I'll sink," Rey said.

"No, you won't. I'll hold you. Trust me."

She closed her eyes again, focusing. A deep breath. Her toes shoved into the silt with a little too much force, and she landed backward, dousing herself in water and spluttering.

"Easy," said Kylo, and she felt his hands on the back of her head; a strangely intimate sensation. "Breathe. You'll float. Put your arms out."

Rey inhaled deeply, and let her arms spread. The water cradled her, and Kylo Ren's broad fingers were supporting her at the back of her neck as she rose. His other hand found the small of her back, the knuckles drifting briefly across her skin. Rey felt goosebumps rise on her skin, a sensation that had nothing to do with the chill of the water.

"You see. The air in your lungs causes you to float. You exhale and you sink. Now, when you want to propel yourself, you keep air in your lungs, roll over, kick with your feet and paddle with your hands. It's all water displacement, pushing you forward. Your legs and arms are the propellers." He let his hands rest lightly under her. "Now, flip over, and don't worry if your head goes underwater. I'll be right here."

Rey steeled herself, rolled, and got a wave of lake water straight to her face. She choked and shifted, and Kylo's hand grabbed at her chest, his fingers hooked into her breast binding for lack of a better place. "Whoa, careful, you don't want to go quite that hard," he said. "I've got you. You're not going to sink."

She blew out a mist of water and tried to control her breathing. "Got it," she gasped, intensely aware of his fingers, shoved up against her breastbone. "So, going forward…"

"Paddle your arms and legs. I'll guide you." He shifted to stand in front of her. "Ready?"

She kicked her feet hard—and nearly knocked him off his. "I did it!" she gasped.

"Keep kicking, paddle with your arms. Big scooping motions, that's it." He was smiling, a big crooked grin she'd never seen before. "Circle around, roll your body—just like that, great!"

Rey swam in a circle, then another without Kylo's assistance, then got enough courage to dive under the water for a second and come back up, spitting water and laughing. "I can swim!" she beamed at him, and he smiled again.

"Rey! You can swim!?" Poe was splashing around, waving and swimming towards her, his handsome face astonished. Finn wasn't far behind.

"Thank you," she said hurriedly, turning back towards Kylo. "I mean that."

He looked down at her, his face gone unreadable again, and drew closer. "I'm glad I helped," he said softly. "You do trust me."

"I—" Rey looked up into his long, solemn face. "Yes…" she said. "…to a point. Don't get any grand ideas."

"Never," he said, and reached towards her face. She froze, but he was tucking a lock of wet hair behind her ear. His fingers were warm as they traced the curve of her ear, warm as they slowly tracked a path from there to her neck, and down to her shoulder. "Do you trust me to do this?" he asked, his voice gone soft and gentle.

She swallowed. Her body felt very warm, despite the cooler water. "Yes, Ben," she said, half-whispering, and he leaned down, and she was turning her face up towards his, and his mouth was just brushing past her nose _—_

"How did you pick that up so fast?" demanded Poe, elated.

Rey whirled around, feeling as if she'd been caught wearing a First Order uniform. "Oh! Ah, um. The Force showed me how." It wasn't a lie. She turned back, and Kylo was gone, nothing but an expanse of water where he'd been standing moments before.

"Wow," said Poe, sounding impressed. "I'd ask what else you can do with the Force, but it seems a little, I don't know, sacrilegious. Party tricks and whatnot."

Rey grinned, her momentary upset at being interrupted forgotten. "Here." She extended her hand, concentrated as hard as she possibly could, feeling for the water, the molecules that bound them, the atoms within—

And the Force that bound it all together.

Finn let out a whoop. Rey looked up and stared in half-disbelief as one large globule of water, then another, floated up out of the lake. Some had tiny fish inside them, others bits of water-weed. She waved a hand, and they circled each other, then went the opposite direction. From further down the beach, Kaydel, Rose, and Koo yelled in astonishment and delight, running towards them.

 _I am someone._ Rey concentrated harder, and the globes separated, casting refracted light onto the faces and bodies of her, Poe, and Finn. _I belong somewhere._

~

Far away, in the blackest reaches of space, aboard the Finalizer, Kylo Ren stood on his training room floor, dripping wet, and thought, _I have no place in this galaxy._

He dropped to a meditating position and concentrated, allowing the Force to enter his being.

(There was water on his face, and it wasn't from the vanished lake.)

"I have no place," he said, and the Force, as it often did these days, spoke to him in the voice of his father.

_Why do you say that, Ben?_

"I cannot continue—not like this, not here, not without her." Kylo felt tears gathering behind his eyes. "My choice was made. I cannot now go back. If I go to them, if I change my sides, they will never trust me. If I bring her here, I can never live with it."

 _There is always another choice,_ said the echo of his father.

"Why are you tormenting me with her presence?" Kylo demanded. "Why are we still connected?"

_There must always be a balance in the Force._

"What am I supposed to do?" he begged.

There was no answer from the Force. He was utterly and completely alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so updating is going to be very spotty from here on out, I'm currently working on Chapter 10 and I'm in the middle of planning my wedding so HERE GO HELL COME but I promise I have it all outlined and it will be finished by god


	10. Repairs and Revelations

Rey lay on her back in the meadow beyond the beach, enjoying the setting sun warming her face and body. Rose was showing Finn how to braid a flower chain off to her right, and Finn kept breaking off blossoms and crinkling his face up in concentration.

"No, a light touch," Rose said, and drew a stem through the slit she'd created in another stem. "See?"

"Hey," said Poe, and sat down beside Rey. The wind ruffled his hair, and as he leaned forward to sit, she saw a small ring on a silver chain fall out of his shirt.

"Hey. What's that?" Rey pointed at the ring.

"Oh, this is—that's my mother's wedding ring." Poe fiddled with it. "Her name was Shara. She died when I was small." He tucked it back into his shirt. "I'm just sort of—holding onto it, you know. Until I find the right partner to give it to."

"Oh, like a pilot?" Rey sat up and propped her elbows on her knees.

"What?" Poe looked amused. "No, like a marriage partner. Do people not get married on Jakku?"

"Oh!" Rey covered her face. "You mean like a hand-binding. Yes, we had that on Jakku."

"Yes, that's what I mean," he said, and playfully shoved her shoulder. "Don't be embarrassed. It's fine."

She grinned at him. "Finn is a good partner. Rose seems to think so."

"Yeah, she does," said Poe half-wistfully, and looked out over the meadow where Rose was laughing at Finn, who was sporting a flower chain atop his short-cropped hair. "I dunno. I thought Finn liked you quite a bit."

"Oh, I like him too," Rey assured Poe. "He's a wonderful friend."

"That he is," agreed Poe with a smile. "Who knew a defected Stormtrooper would be so much fun to hang around?" He ran a hand through his hair and exhaled deeply. "Anyway, I kind of wanted to catch you alone for a moment."

"Oh?" She looked at him, a little worried.

"Yeah. You've been…acting sort of weird lately. I assume it's whatever's going on with the Force, and while I don't know anything about the Force…" He shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. I just heard you talking to yourself this morning, and then today in the water you looked like you were doing it again."

Rey felt a stir of panic. "Yes, it's the Force. I'm being connected with—someone else, and they're being connected with me."

"Connected with you?" Poe's brown crinkled.

"I can see them, like they're standing in the room with me," Rey explained. "They can see me. It's made for some very awkward times. Neither of us really knows why it's happening."

"How long has it been going on?"

"Since I arrived on Ahch-To," she said. "It hasn't stopped. I can't make it stop."

Poe frowned. "Does the General know?"

"Yes. She does." Rey looked at her feet. "I'm reporting to her on a daily basis of everything I see and hear."

"So this person is someone connected with people Leia wants to be ahead of," said Poe, his eyes narrowing. "Someone in the First Order?" Rey felt heat creep up her face, and did not answer. "It's someone who's connected with the Force like you, and who's in the First Order." The unspoken answer hung between them like a sword. "Well," said Poe finally. "That's..."

"Could be worse," Rey said, trying for humor. "Could be General Hux."

"Oh, kark," said Poe, and made a face. "So, Kylo Ren, huh?"

"Please, don't tell anyone else," she mumbled.

"Oh, I won't. That's staying between you, me, the General, and the black-caped lunatic." Poe stretched.

"He's not a lunatic," she said. "He's—having second thoughts, and he's not pursuing us."

"Or that's what he wants you to think," Poe said.

"Luke Skywalker turned Darth Vader back at the end, why can't I do the same thing?" Rey said, rather defensively.

"He's no Darth Vader," Poe said. "And you're not Luke Skywalker. Look." He sighed. "Your goal is admirable, but he could be playing you."

"He's not," she said. "He wouldn't try that twice. I'm not stupid."

"I didn't say you were," said Poe gently. "I'm sorry."

"He's conflicted," Rey explained. "He has—I can feel that he still has light in him. Nobody is past redemption, not even him."

"He wasn't very _conflicted_ when he strapped me down and took my thoughts out of my head to read," Poe said a little bitterly.

"What do you want me to do?" demanded Rey. "It's not like I can shut it off, or stop seeing him whenever the Force wants me to. There's a reason the Force is bringing us together. And before you ask, no, it isn't him doing it, because that takes more power than he has. Master Skywalker—Luke died, projecting himself for half an hour. There is no way that Kylo Ren could possibly keep it up for longer."

"Okay, okay." Poe held his hands up. "I just want everyone here to be safe until we can recover, refuel the Falcon, and score safe passage to the Core Worlds. That's all."

"I'm not a threat to anyone's safety," Rey said.

"I'm not saying you are."

Rey stood up. "I'm going back. It's high time I started repairing my lightsaber."

Poe leaped to his feet. "The Falcon's parked at the pad on the lee side—Rey, I didn't mean to get into a fight with you."

"I don't want to get into a fight either!" she yelled, her fists clenched. "I'm doing the best I can, okay? I don't like this any more than you do!"

Poe reached out for her, then dropped his hand. "I know," he said. "I'm sorry."

She gave up, deflated. "I'm sorry I yelled," she whispered. "Please, just cut me some slack."

"You're not a threat to us," Poe said, and took her hands. "Never. You know that, right? We're all your friends. And if anyone even so much as looked at you wrong, Chewbacca and Finn would tear their faces off."

She chuckled. "You do have a point."

"Good. So, still friends?"

Rey squeezed his hands. "Still friends." She ducked forward in an impulse and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Poe's eyebrows rose in surprise as she turned away and started walking toward the villa. One hand flicked up to the spot she'd kissed him, and dropped almost as quickly as it had risen.

~

Back aboard the familiar corridors of the Falcon, Rey opened her drawer and retrieved her books and the broken saber.

Chewbacca yelped at her, and she smiled back. "No, I'm fine. Just getting my things. How is she?"

There was another string of yippy barks, and Chewbacca indicated the walls.

"Oh, good. You think it'll get us to the Core?"

Chewbacca said something loosely translated as, _you bet your ass it will,_ and Rey smiled. "You sure you don't want to come inside?"

He shook his head and made a few sad sounds. _No. Too big for my taste._

"Okay. See you later." She walked out and down the gangplank, books, saber halves, and a toolkit cradled carefully in her arms.

The evening was beautiful and cool. It was that time of day when the golden afternoon was turning into mauve dusk, and the moons were rising. Rey walked through the grass back to the villa, listening to the soft buzz of insects somewhere, and almost wished Kylo was there to see it.

Once she got back inside the house, she found a niche in one of the sitting rooms and bent to page through her salvaged Jedi texts, hoping to find instructions on how to repair a broken lightsaber, or at least a manual for how to build one. A fire was already going, and she felt quite primitive, paging through paper books by the light of a fire.

She finally found a section about creating lightsabers, but it seemed very bare-bones, and the diagram was hand-drawn. Rey squinted down. "The focusing crystal… the primary crystal…this diagram doesn't even have a stabilizing ring." She looked at the two halves and assessed the damage.

The saber hilt had split directly at the crystal chamber, separating the primary and focusing kyber crystals. The focusing crystal had been knocked off-kilter, one of the activators loose and dangling; and the mount for the primary was bent.

"First step," Rey said to herself. "Fix the mounts and straighten the crystals."

She pulled out a small multitool and tapped on the activator, rotating it and seeing where the spot-weld had fallen off in the initial impact. Rey fired up the little welder on her tool, and carefully nudged it back into place, securing it where it belonged.

Next, she used a small hydrospanner to re-center the focusing crystal as carefully as she could. _If I do this wrong and solder it back together, I'm karked._ Millimeter by millimeter, the decades-old hardware edged back into place.

Rey realized she was sweating. She wiped her face and began on the primary crystal mount. It was badly warped, as it had been exposed when it had crashed to the floor. She slowly worked it back into the proper position, and checked the ancient diagram to make sure of the angle.

"That's as good as you're getting," she told the crystals, and took out her soldering wand. After several deep breaths, she began to solder the two halves of the broken saber hilt back together. It was a long and arduous process, and she hardly noticed that the night was drawing on and that she was attracting a silent crowd of watchers in the doorway, all crowded in and peering into the room to see her.

The final crack sealed, she held the saber in both her hands, careful to not touch the glowing metal as it cooled and dimmed from white-hot, to red, to orange, to yellow.

There was a soft murmur at the door, and the cloaked and regal, though small, figure of General Leia glided through a part in the sea of people, coming to stand in the doorway.

Rey looked up at the sound of living movement, and saw with surprise the crowd that had gathered in the shadows, the faces of Poe, Koo, Rose, Finn, and Kaydel surrounding the singular face of Leia.

"General," she said.

Leia's eyes went from her to the saber hilt in her hands. "How's it coming along, Rey?" she inquired.

Rey looked down. The yellowing metal was fading, a thin raised scar-line of solder around the smooth hilt. "I'm waiting for the metal to cool, and then I'll try to activate it." She felt sick with tension, a knot in her stomach getting worse and worse with each passing second.

Leia must have sensed her distress. "All of you are dismissed," she said to the crowd of curious Resistance members around her. "Go get dinner or something."

They all immediately moved off, Poe and Finn giving Rey a last glance backward and a thumbs up of encouragement. Rey felt even worse.

"The waiting is worse than the work," she mumbled as Leia swept in and sat on one of the couches. "If I've completely messed this up—I won't ever forgive myself."

"Yes, you will." Leia settled in. "It's only a lightsaber. You have the instructions to make another."

"Very, very primitive instructions," Rey said quietly.

"But you know how it works," Leia insisted. "You've seen the inner workings. You've learned something. That is not failure."

"What if I turn this on and it explodes?" Rey asked. "What if it doesn’t work, or—or what if—"

"There are no _what-if_ s," said Leia. "There is only what happens, and what doesn't happen."

Rey set the nearly-cooled saber on the floor and crossed her legs. Luke's voice came to her, as it sometimes did.

_Cross your legs. Sit here. Reach out._

_Now, what do you feel?_

Rey closed her eyes, and reached.

The house. The lake. Deep and cool, warm and shallow. The grasses in the meadow, feeding on the decay below. Cool marble, warm sunlight.

_And in front of you?_

Leia's life signature glowed like a candle in the Force, a spark of light. Age did not exist in the Force; Rey saw her at every stage of her life, and at none. An infant, a little girl, a teenager in white with her hair elaborately braided, the grief of Alderaan that hung over every waking day that she hid so well. The love, love she felt for her people, her parents, her brother, her husband—

her son—

Rey was yanked backward, into a whirling vortex of light, and saw Ben Solo.

He was sitting alone, dressed in grey, reading a holobook, cross-legged on his bed. He did not see her. His head was bent, and she couldn't see his surroundings.

"Ben," she said, and felt her voice echoing flatly, muffled against her own ears.

He looked up, looked around, and she saw with a start that his face was marred with the scar she'd given him.

This wasn't the past. This wasn't Ben. This was—

"Rey?" he said, and stood, boots shining in the light. "I can't see you."

She could sense someone coming, someone coming down the hall outside his chamber, but couldn't see them. "Ben!" she cried. "Ben, can you hear me?"

He frowned and peered into the corners, as if he'd lost something small. "Rey? Where are you?"

The person outside had paused, and she sensed curiosity and—

_They can hear him._

"Ben!" she shouted. "Don't tell them where! Please! Am I clear? Can you hear me? Don't say it!"

"'Where am I?'" He blinked as if confused, and she realized he could only partially hear her, like a bad commlink connection, a holocaust sputtering into fragments. "You're—"

"Don’t!" She clenched her fists in panic and terror, the Force rippling like a wave around her.

"—on Naboo, in the Lake Country. Varykino."

The door opened, and General Hux stood there, glee on his pasty face. "You've done it, Supreme Leader! At last, the rebels—"

 _Sometimes, we inadvertently bring things about in our efforts to stop them from happening,_ said Leia from somewhere far away. 

Rey dropped to her knees and screamed.

Every loose item in Kylo Ren's chambers shattered into millions of fragments at once. The lights cracked and broke. Hux shied away, yelping as shards of transparisteel pelted his body.

She saw Kylo Ren's face turn towards her, white and contorted in terror. He was saying something, but the sound of water was rushing through her ears and she couldn't hear him.

Pieces of the room began to fade, then disappear entirely. "No," gasped Rey. "No, don't—"

The last thing she saw was Kylo Ren's horrified face before hearing _send out the Knights of Ren_.

_Rey, this is your path to follow._

Rey opened her eyes.

She was floating above the floor, drenched in sweat, the lightsaber floating in front of her.

Leia was staring up at her, pale as a moon.

Rey reached out, and the lightsaber hilt floated into her hand. Without a shred of fear, she pressed the activator.

Nothing happened.

After a full five seconds of utter silence, a brilliant bar of clean, blue light speared out of the end of the hilt, and her feet touched the floor, centering and coming back, back to the earth.

"The First Order is coming for us," said Rey, illuminated in a wash of ozone. "They know where we are. And they're sending the Knights of Ren."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [plays dramatic music] I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CLIFF HANGER TILL I FINISH THE NEXT CHAPTER FML


	11. The Spark That Ignites

The villa's peaceful evening had turned into organized panic. Leia stood, blaster slung over her shoulder, giving directions for loading the Falcon up with all their supplies. Fortunately, most of the extra food and weapons had been packed on board as soon as they'd gotten them.

"Send a message to Queen Doruna. Tell her the First Order is coming, and we need all the time they can buy us," Leia instructed Rey.

C-3PO, who had reactivated and emerged from the Falcon's charging station at possibly the worst time he could, made his way up to her. "Mistress Rey, might I be of assistance?"

"If you can get a message to Theed, yes," she said, and waited until Threepio's hologram sensor was trained on her before speaking. "Queen Doruna, this is a warning. The First Order has found our location. Your safety has been compromised, and the safety of your planet." She took a breath. "We desperately need all the time you can buy us. Plead ignorance of our presence, and they might let you live." Rey looked directly into the little sensor, and thought suddenly of Yué. "We—I am so sorry, your Majesty," she finished, her voice breaking, and Threepio cut the transmission.

"Sending now," he said. "May I be of any further assistance, Mistress Rey?"

"No, thank you," she said, wiping her eyes furiously. "I have to get changed. Tell Leia you've sent the transmission."

Back inside, Rey yanked off the blue gown and found the wardrobe case that Kaydel and Koo had stocked with practical clothing. She pulled out a pair of long, soft brown suede trousers, a grey, long-sleeved tunic, a brown over-tunic, and her belt and obi from Crait, along with her trusty brown boots.

She got dressed as fast as she could, and was tying her hair back when a cry from outside alerted her. Running to the long windows, she looked up and saw a faint blue glow, like a star, high above their heads and to the north.

The glow of a Star Destroyer coming out of hyperspace.

She clipped her saber to her belt and raced out of the villa, skidding down the grass just in time to see Leia's stricken face turning toward her, Poe not far behind.

"Is the Falcon loaded?" Rey panted.

"Yes. If we leave now, we have a chance."

Leia paused to catch her breath, and Poe explained, "They don't look like they have a blockade set up, and we can slip below their scanners long enough to get out of range, then leave the atmosphere and jump to the Core."

"Good plan. Is everything on board?" Rey looked around.

"Yes, everything we can fit. We just have to load these last weapons—"

"General!" Kaydel was running, a scanner in her hands. "We've got three ships heading our way, coming in hot!"

"Get on board!" Leia pointed. "Everyone, now!"

Rey dashed to the gangplank and counted as everyone crammed in, Finn and Rose hauling the last of the weapons. "We're good!" Finn shouted.

"And not a moment too soon," said Poe, eyes narrowed. Rey turned, and saw the blue and red lights of three First Order ships, just over the horizon and nearing with every second.

"Go, go, go!" Rey dashed up into the cockpit, barreling past the frantically beeping BB-8, and slammed on the throttle.

Chewie barked in worry as the Falcon lifted from the ground, hovered—

And shuddered in impact from a barrage of fire.

"Oh, kriff," said Rey, checking the shields. "Finn!" She slapped on her headset. "Finn, get to the gunner's seat!"

There was a crackle of static, and then Finn's voice came through, loud and clear. "Copy that! Firing!"

Bright green bolts shot back, and one of the First Order ships was hit, the whole thing careening and crashing into the tranquil lake.

"Woo!" Rey pulled the throttle and began to edge out over the top of the house, then over the wide stretch of meadow. "Nice shooting!"

"Just like old times!" Finn shouted, and let loose another stream of fire.

The whole Falcon shuddered again, then stalled. Rey struggled with the controls. "What's going on?"

"Keep the shields up!" Finn shouted. "My instrument panel's gone black. I can't see a thing."

Rey stood up. "Lower the gangplank, Chewie," she ordered. "And stay put, shields up."

 _What?_ barked Chewbacca. _What's the plan?_

"To live," she said, and kissed the top of his furry head. "Do it."

As she made her way to the hatch, she grabbed a blaster from a crate, and slammed the hatch lock with a fist.

The light turned from red to green, and the wall slid open to reveal the gangplank.

Rey marched straight down to the edge, her clothing flapping in the wind, clinging to the strut with one hand, and aimed with the other, directly at the fast-approaching ship that she could sense through the Force—

—had a weak spot, directly in the transparisteel of the cockpit.

She fired. The bolt disappeared into the dark.

The ship careened from side to side, until it crashed into the meadow and exploded, leaving a burning streak in the grass a kilometer long and illuminating the entire scene in hues of gold and red.

Rey turned around and smiled at Leia, who was standing in the door, with a look of wonder on her face. "I mean, the Force does come in handy," she said modestly.

Leia opened her mouth to say something, and a flash of light—heat?—flew past Rey, so fast she barely saw it. A single bolt of ruby-colored light, leaving the smell of ozone—

And burned flesh.

Leia jerked, only once, as if surprised, then looked down at the smoking hole in her stomach.

Poe screamed, a terrible sound, and lurched forward, grabbing his beloved General by the shoulders, trying to keep her upright as her legs gave out and she crumpled to a heap on the deck of the Millennium Falcon.

Rey, unable to think, turned and scanned the sky again—

And saw the last ship, a different shape than the others, glowing like obsidian in the firelight, level with the Falcon.

"No, no, no," she gasped, and aimed at the ship, firing one shot after another. Her bolts glanced off like nothing, and the guns turned to aim at the Falcon's underbelly, where the guns were—

Where Finn was.

" _No_!" screamed Rey in fury, and dropped her blaster. She ignited her lightsaber, and took off running down the gangplank, deaf to Poe's screams of _no, Rey, you'll get yourself killed, come back_.

She flew through the air, five meters forward and three down, and slammed her blade straight down into the cockpit shield of the sleek black ship.

The ship careened off course, and she struggled to hold on as the force of gravity dragged her and her lightsaber back and forth across the ship, carving up the front like so much cheese. She caught one last glimpse of the Falcon, hovering above her, and screamed up "Go!" hoping against hope they could hear her over the whining engines. " _Go!_ "

Something on the ground exploded again, probably a fuel reserve. She saw Finn, a dark shape in the gunner's bubble, hands pressed flat pressed against the transparisteel. She circled her free arm in a wide arc, the universal symbol for _go_.

He must have seen her, someone must have, because the Falcon began to move away, slow at first, then faster and faster until it had disappeared over the horizon, the blue glow of the engines faded into the night.

Rey yanked her blade from the ship and prepared for impact.

~

"We can't leave her!" Finn was shouting, on the brink of tears. "We have to go back!"

"Chewbacca, accelerate! Get us past the atmosphere!" Rose was running back and forth, yelling about the engines and the rate of acceleration.

Poe was looking down at Leia. She seemed so small, so fragile in his arms. "Poe," she said through graying lips, and pressed something into his hand. "Keep the spark alive."

It was—he looked down, blinking tears out of his eyes. Her signet ring was warm and hard in his palm, the blue stones shining in the light. "Yes, General," he said, and looked up at her face. _She deserved more._

Leia blinked once, focused on him, and squeezed his hand one last time. "General Dameron," she said, faint as a whisper, and died.

"Oh, no, no, no," said Poe numbly, as if by sheer willpower he could force life back into her. "No, no. No."

Kaydel Ko Connix knelt down by him and closed Leia's sightless brown eyes before taking his hand in hers. "We have to do something," she said desperately.

Poe, with great reluctance, let go of Leia's body and got up off the floor, facing the remaining Resistance, who all stared at him in shock. "We," he said, his voice cracking, then cleared his throat and tried again. "We have just lost our General."

A murmur of apprehension shook the ship. Eyes met eyes, worried faces met worried faces.

Poe struggled to speak, and found he couldn't. Kaydel stepped up beside him. "Her last act was to promote Commander Dameron to General. We will mourn her later, once we are safely away from the First Order and get to the Core Worlds. But right now, we have to move."

"We can't leave Rey," said Finn, anguish on every line of his face.

"Rey wanted us to leave," said Poe, feeling like someone else was using his voice. "She knows what she's doing. She's a Jedi."

"She's going to die down there," said Finn.

"You think you're the only one who thinks that?" Poe snapped. "We all care about Rey. But that was her decision to make and if she's sacrificing herself so the rest of us can get away from here, I won't let her die for nothing."

Rose gripped Finn's hand and looked up, tears on her cheeks. "What's the plan, General?" she asked, a determined set to her jaw.

"My first order. Someone," said Poe, and choked again. "Someone has to tell Chewie."

~ 

Miles below, Rey opened her eyes and groaned.

She was ensconced in a pile of crushed and broken metal. _The ship,_ she thought, and shifted her weight, sharp pain shooting up her left leg, grasping for her lightsaber.

Smoke was in her eyes, burning. She coughed, and stood up, her hands finally closing on her saber in the rubble.

Part of the smoke cleared, and she saw five red sabers, alive and burning, advancing on her in the field.

Rey ignited her saber and stood at the ready, panting. Her leg hurt terribly, a ragged shallow gash pulsing with every heartbeat. The ground wasn't even, she saw, and she had no route to avoid their attack other than the ruined wreckage of the ship behind her.

 _They must have lost me in the mess and circled back,_ she thought. She looked down to mark her footing, and saw a dead, black-gloved hand, an unfamiliar saber hilt under it. _Well, a saber is a saber,_ she thought, and picked it up, holding it close at her side.  

_One down. Five to go._

They were meters away now, gaining on her. She waited, and reached out with the Force, and when the first one slashed at her she parried with the blue saber and ignited the red one, a bar of ruby light stabbing him through the chest and dropping him like a dead fly.

_That trick will only work once. Two down. Four to go._

The second and third bore down, and she was fighting for her life, parrying with both arms, wildly blocking strikes that were coming faster than rain. She had no time to attack; all of her energy was spent defending.

_If I can hold them off long enough—_

A searing, blinding agony caught her right side, and she screamed in pain, the Force within her exploding outward and knocking over the four remaining Knights of Ren. Rey bent double, sucking in air and grabbing at her side.

It wasn't even a saber wound, she realized as her hand came away bloody. Lightsabers didn't bleed you, they seared you shut. One of the bastards had stabbed her with some sort of primitive weapon, and as she looked up she saw the blade shining in the hand of one of them.

"You," she snarled, and drew herself up, extending one hand and dragging him toward her, he inexorable pull of the Force like a tractor beam. With one swipe of her blue blade, both his hands were gone at the wrists, and he had no time to react before she carved through his black-robed chest, leaving his smoking carcass in the waste.

The remaining three attacked all at once, a whirling storm of scarlet blades and the stench of ozone and heat surrounding her. Rey parried and parried and blocked and ducked, panicking more and more with each movement, until they had got her pinned up against the wall of debris, the underbelly of the smashed ship hot behind her back.

Behind the black masks, they could have been anyone. "So falls the Last Jedi," said one, his voice distorted through the apparatus, and raised his blade for the killing blow.

Rey's vision wavered. She was losing blood, and her hands felt cold despite the heat. Keeping her blade up felt like the hardest thing she'd ever done, but she did it, her hands trembling.

" _No_!" came a roar from somewhere far above her head, and Rey looked up to see a whirling black shape fall from above and land on the ground between her and the three last Knights of Ren.

The three of them faltered, sabers lowering.

"You will not touch her," snarled Kylo Ren, and ignited his own saber, punctuating his order with a burst of crackling, unstable energy.

"Ben," whispered Rey, and dropped her own saber, falling to one knee and slumping against the hull.

"Our orders are from General Hux," said one of the Knights, and raised his saber back up. "We will take none from you."

"I am the Supreme Leader," Kylo barked, his eyes darting back and forth between all three like a cornered, wild thing; his hair hanging loose in his face. "You will do as I say."

"No," said another, and all three raised their blades, ready.

"Then you will die," said Kylo Ren, and as the three of them lunged, one for Rey and two for him, he slid down to one knee—missing one saber slash—grabbed Rey by the waist, yanked her in tight, and swung his saber back over his shoulder, stabbing the one who had tried to sweep in for Rey through the throat. He dropped, and Kylo swung back around, clutching a half-conscious Rey to his chest, to face the other two.

"You're mad," taunted one of them, swinging his saber in a mock salute. "This scavenger scum has fogged your senses."

Kylo spread his stance and waited, and when the two of them converged in a whirling vortex of red plasma, he closed his eyes and gave himself to the Force.

 _A clearing storm, a dark sky with the promise of light._ He could see himself as Rey saw him in the Force, a window onto a clearing afternoon, the roiling chasm at the bottom of a waterfall. The Force said, _go here, do this,_ and he obeyed, breathing and moving as if he was a puppet on strings, a dancer moving through steps he had practiced a hundred times.

 _And that's how it's done,_ said the Force in the voice of Han Solo.

Kylo Ren opened his eyes to a smoking landscape on fire, five dead bodies at his feet, and Rey, bloodied and filthy, in his arms.

"Ben," she wheezed out, her lips white. "Your mother. "

Kylo dropped down to his knees and laid her on the ground, frantically searching her for the source of all the blood. "Shh. Talk about it later, all right?"

She shook her head frantically. "No." Rey's face contorted into a grimace, and he was pleased to see there was no blood in her mouth—that would have meant internal bleeding, and he wasn't equipped for that. "She's d-dead, Ben."

That brought him up short, his hands frozen on her stomach. He'd felt the shimmer in the Force when the Knights had fired on the Falcon, but— "Are you sure?"

"Yes. Saw her." Rey had tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I’m so sorry."

"Don't be." Kylo looked down at the smoking ruins of bodies. "I've—avenged her."

Rey shifted and cried out, and he looked down to see the darkening stain of blood on her shirt. "We need to get you to a medkit. Ours were destroyed in the crash." He pressed his hand to her waist, hoping to stem the flow.

"Inside the house," Rey said, her teeth bared in pain. "We left a crate we couldn't carry with us—food and medicine—oh, kark, that _hurts_ , just let me die."

"I'm not going to let you die," he said firmly, and kept his hand pressed to her side while he peered inside with the Force, sensing the split veins, the ruptured skin—but no broken organs, nothing vital. The blow had just missed her guts and had instead plunged between—a spleen? Liver? Whatever the organs were, nothing was damaged. Relieved, Kylo Ren yanked off his cowl and pressed it to her side, wrapping it close around her waist.

"We're going to be all right," he said, and looked up to find her still, white, and responseless as a moon.


	12. Safe and Sound

Rey's whole body hurt. Awareness came back slowly, then all at once. There was a deep pain in her right side, and she was lying on something soft.

She opened her eyes and blinked in the soft sunlight, groggily marking her surroundings. She was in one of the ground floor sitting rooms, lying on a makeshift bed made of cushions and blankets—more of a nest than a bed, she thought. The light curtains were blowing gently in the breeze, and the air was cool.

 _I'm dead,_ she thought in shock. _But if I was dead, I wouldn't hurt so much._

Rey looked down at her stomach and saw to her surprise that she was half undressed, her breast band still on and a large bacta bandage covering her right side. "Help," she croaked, and realized how dry her throat was. "Help!"

Kylo Ren poked his head through the arch that led out to the hallway. "Oh, you're alive," he said in relief. "Here, don't try to move." He knelt down by her side and re-arranged the cushions, propping her up to a reclining position.

"Thirsty," she managed, and he produced a bottle of water, holding it to her lips.

"Don't use your stomach muscles," he instructed. "I've got it."

She gulped down enough water to satisfy her parched throat and leaned back, squinting at him. "You look funny," she said.

He looked down at himself and the Naboo style clothing he'd scrounged up from the closets—a blousy ivory shirt with the sleeves rolled to the elbow (they were too short for him), a pair of dark blue velvet trousers, and a pair of brown leather boots. "My other clothes are hanging to dry," he said rather self-consciously, and Rey had a sudden mental picture of all of his black robes hung out on a line with clothespins, fluttering in the breeze, complete with helmet and lightsaber hilt. She fought to not laugh at the absurd image.

"What happened?" she asked instead. "You killed them, and then I don't remember."

"Yes." He looked away, out the open windows. "I killed the Knights of Ren. They followed me to the end."

"I feel like I should say I'm sorry, but they were trying to kill me, so." Rey felt at her bandage. "How bad is my injury?"

He looked back at her. "Not terrible, not fatal. You were just in shock from the blood loss. Your major organs escaped damage. You'll be fine after a few days of rest. The bacta is almost halfway done healing you."

Rey leaned back and exhaled deeply, feeling the twinge. "I never went to the veranda," she said softly. "I forgot."

"What?"

"The porch here, the place where your grandparents got married. I never went. It didn't—it never felt right."

Kylo blinked at her, then remembered. "Oh. Don't worry about that."

She opened one eye and peered at him. "You're…really here," she said hesitantly. "Really."

"Yeah, I am." He reached out and covered her hand with his.

"So, is the Force thing…is that still…?" Rey had almost forgotten how large his hands were. Hers felt dwarfed by his fingers.

"I don't know," he admitted, and his hand tightened on hers briefly, warm and firm. "But I saw something when I was—when I was fighting, when I had immersed myself in the Force."

"What was it?"

"It was—well, like I could see myself as you saw me. So the connection must have been there, but it was more like a mirror through the Force—" He shook his head. "It's hard to describe. But I could sense—see, I suppose—that both of us, our lives, are like…" He trailed off again. "You know how two cords flying in the wind will touch at random times?"

"We're the cords?" asked Rey.

"We're the cords. And now—"

"We're tied together," she finished, then turned red. "I mean—not literally, not that I—"

Kylo grinned, and squeezed her hand. "No, no. I know what you meant. Rest up. I'll bring you some food."

~

She must have dozed off, because when she woke up again Kylo was coming back through the doorway with a tray. "Hey," she said.

"Hey," he said, and sat down cross-legged on the floor. It was so strange to see him where Rose and Finn had been sitting not a day ago, cracking open a hard bun and pulling out the fluffy bread inside to eat. "Here." He handed her a piece and she chewed on it, savoring the nutty taste and realizing just how hungry she was.

"What time is it?" she said through another mouthful.

"About mid-morning." He chewed his food and swallowed.

Rey bolted upright suddenly, ignoring the protest of pain in her side. "The First Order—"

"They're not coming," he said, and touched her shoulder gently, then dropped his hand, as if he wasn't sure if it was all right. "Please. Don't move too much."

"But the—"

"Yes. I convinced Hux it would be an easy mission for the Knights and I and they left Naboo's airspace as fast as they could after dropping us off. We didn't check in by the appointed time, so I'm sure he thinks we're all dead, and I'm happy to say I couldn't care less." A faint ghost of a smile appeared. "He's probably jumping for joy and declaring himself Supreme Leader right about now."

Rey relaxed and slumped back into the pillows. "So…nobody's coming for us."

"No," said Kylo. "We have food for a month if it's just the two of us."

"What then?" asked Rey uncertainly.

"We have a while to think about that," said Kylo.

"It's not like either of us has any pressing engagements, since we're not trying to kill each other anymore," she said.

He regarded her with a slow, cool look. "Oh, that reminds me," he said, and pulled out her saber, dented and dirty, but whole and functional. "I grabbed it from the field last night."

Rey reached out and let her hand rest on the warm metal, sudden emotion overcoming her. "Thank you," she said. "Please, um, just put it up on the sofa for now. I'll polish it when I can sit up."

"Right," he said, and leaned over her to set it on the cushion, his chest hovering just above her, almost uncomfortably close. She fought a dreadful urge to reach up and caress him, but the moment passed, and he sat back on his heels and looked down at her again. "Might be time to change that bandage," he said, and dragged the medkit out from behind a chair.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked curiously as he peeled a protective backing off another bacta patch.

"I'm not looking at you like anything," he responded, almost warily. "Pull that off and let's see how you look."

Rey peeled the sticky, green bandage off her side and exposed the stab wound. She was surprised at how small it was, just the length of her pinky joint and surrounded by swelling and bruises that were already healing. "Gross," she said. "And yes, you are."

Kylo crouched down and gently placed the fresh bandage on her waist, smoothing the edges out and letting his hands linger just a moment too long on her skin. "Explain," he said, and stole another look up at her through his black hair.

"You're looking at me like—I don't know. Like you're expecting me to bite you, or like—like you're afraid you're doing something wrong." Rey relaxed as the cooling sensation spread through her side. "Oh, that's good."

"For all I know you might bite," said Kylo.

"Wouldn’t you like to find out," she said, her chin pointed right at him, a challenge written in every line of her face.

Kylo turned beet red and stammered out a string of sounds that were certainly not words, then almost fell over himself gathering up the medkit. "Look," he finally managed, "just because you happened to see some things you shouldn't have during th—the Force, thing, that—that doesn't mean—you don't—I never—"

 _It's now or never,_ thought Rey to herself, and as he leaned forward, still flustered, she gripped his shirt and stretched up, ignoring the dull pain in her side, up to his face, up to his mouth, and covered his with hers, his words disappearing into nothing in her mouth.

He made a noise that sounded like _mmm_ and his right arm curled around her left side tight, pulling her up and in. His mouth moved across hers like wildfire, teeth scraping against her skin, his tongue flicking against her bottom lip. Rey answered in kind, her own teeth closing down on his lip softly, her tongue chasing his.

A sudden rush of heat that had nothing to do with the weather outside gathered and pooled between her legs, and she moaned softly into him, gripping his left hand and dragging it to her thigh, towards her—

Kylo broke the kiss, panting, and gripped her leg. "No," he gasped, pressing his forehead to hers, eyes squeezed shut. "I don't—"

"Oh," whispered Rey, and let go of his hand. "I'm sorry—was it too fast, or—"

"Do you," he rasped, struggling to think, to process. "Do you know what you are _doing_ to me?"

Rey swallowed. His right arm was still wrapped around her, and it was trembling.

"You." He made a small, desperate noise in his throat. "You're in every waking thought I have. Always there, out of reach. The visions—" he shook his head, his hair falling into her face. "The visions were worse. Being able to touch you was—intoxicating. Nobody. Nobody's touched me in so long. I shut it out. All of it. And you—you broke me like _nothing—_ "

"It's okay," she reassured him, bringing her hands up to cradle his face, so close to hers. He fingers traced the high cheekbones, the freckles that dusted them, the off-kilter chin. "Shh. You don't have to do anything right now."

"You don't understand," he groaned, his fingers trembling, still clamped on her leg as if he was still afraid she might vanish. "There's nothing I want more than—this, you, all of it. And it terrifies me."

"There's nothing to be afraid of," she said.

"Who will I be if I do this?" His voice was breaking, his hand drifting up her leg and brushing across her waist, up to her shoulder and neck. "Who will we be?"

"You'll be Ben Solo," she said firmly. "And I'll be Rey, and you won't have to shut me out."

He found her bare shoulder with his left hand, and stroked across the skin there with shaky fingers. "Ben Solo," he said, as if testing it.

"Ben," she said, and he looked up at her. "We can go slower if you want to. I don't want to do anything you're not prepared for."

He closed his eyes. "No, I'm all right. It was just a lot." He stroked her hair back from her face almost reverently.

"Erm," Rey said, trying to be gentle and diplomatic. "There's, uh, something of yours digging right into my good side."

"Oh, sorry," he said, looking abashed, and let go of her to adjust himself, blushing all the way to his ears.

"Have you, um. You're familiar with….female….parts?" Rey asked.

"Theoretically, yes. Not so much, um, practically." He looked up. "Why?"

"I want you to—I want to show you something," she said, and took his hand again, drawing it up slowly between her legs to the crux where they met her body. "Here," she breathed, and moved his fingers to brush over the front, finding the pressure points, the bundles of nerves.

He frowned and gently pressed down in a small circle, and she made a dreadful sound and grabbed him by the hair with her left hand, all wounds forgotten in the rush of hormones. "Did I hurt you?" he asked, surprised.

"No, oh, no," she gasped. "Do it again. Please." She ground up into his hand, guiding him with her right, and he obliged, pressing down again. Rey choked off a curse and pulled herself in close, mouth dragging along his cheek, moaning into his ear. "Don't stop," she begged. "Ben, don't—"

He dragged her into his lap and clumsily ground up against her, his erection providing more than enough friction for her. "Rey," he gasped, and she jerked her hips, her fingers digging into his scalp in a rush of desperation to finish. He could feel her frustration through the Force, how her climax was just out of reach, how something was holding her back. "What is it, what's wrong?"

"I don't know," she groaned into his neck. "Kriff, I don't—"

"Is it me?" He paused, hands still on her waist, slight panic growing in his throat. _I'm doing something wrong. What's wrong with me?_

"It's not—" Rey groaned in frustration and buried her head in Kylo's shoulder, panting a little with the effort. "I can't quite. You know. Get there."

"Do you—should I touch it again, or—"

She leaned back again, away from his shoulder. "It's okay. It happens sometimes. It's not important. I—" She was flushed, embarrassed. "I'm sorry." She scrambled off his lap and folded her hands in her own lap, sitting a respectful distance away.

"No, don't be sorry." Kylo looked away, not meeting her eyes. "It's—it's not going to happen all at once."

"I just—" Rey exhaled and hung her head. "Nothing. Sorry."

Kylo swallowed. She could see the smooth pale skin of his throat moving. "You should get some rest and heal. I'll—I'll just go prepare dinner." He stood up and hesitated for a second, looking at her, before turning away.

Rey opened her mouth to say something, anything, and found she had nothing to say as he passed under the arch and out of sight. She flopped back down onto the cushions, stared at the ceiling, and slowly fell asleep.


	13. The Force

Dinner was a quiet affair. Rey woke up hours later, absolutely ravenous, and Ben (it was impossible to think of him as _Kylo Ren_ now, this tall man with his hair tied back who brought her food on a tray and ate sitting on the floor with her) made sure to supply her with enough breads, soups, thinly sliced meat, and bright orange Naboo cheeses to feed three of her for a week.

They ate quietly, Ben close by but never touching her, still shy of contact. Rey finished her meal and stretched, enjoying the cool dusk breeze floating in through the windows.

"Let's have a look at that," said Ben, indicating the bandage . Rey rolled over to her left side and propped her head up on her elbow, giving him access to her right side.

"It feels a lot better," she said as he peeled the bandage off.

"Oh, it looks great," he said in surprise, and she bent around and looked down to see nothing left on her skin but a little pink scar, freshly healed. She ran her fingers over her skin cautiously, and smiled when only the faintest soreness presented itself.

"Well, I'm going to stand up," she said, and got to her feet a little clumsily, then staggered when her vision began to swim.

"Not so fast," said Ben, and took hold of her arm as she steadied herself and her sight cleared. "You're still technically in recovery."

"Oh, whatever," she said, wrinkling her nose. "I want to walk around."

His brow creased in anxiety. "Well, be careful. Here, I'll walk with you."

Rey rolled her eyes, but smiled and let her hand creep into his. "Like this?"

"Yeah," he said, and averted his eyes as they walked out and onto the first floor veranda, with climbing flowers draped all over the carved stone.

"Oh, this is nice," said Rey, closing her eyes and breathing in the clean air.

"It's a calming place," said Ben, looking around as if he'd never really seen it."

"You've been here before?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Once when I was very small." He looked out over the hills and the lake, and breathed deeply, looking back at her. "I remember gathering stones on the lakeshore, and being told—my mother telling me that this was where her birth parents were married in secret."

Rey looked down and fought a lump. Leia's death was too near and close, something unthinkable. "And you remembered all these years."

"Yes." Ben looked down at their joined hands and laced his fingers awkwardly through hers, his rough fingertips brushing the backs of her knuckles. "I did."

She looked up at him, his strange unreadable face. Didn't speak a word, just looked up at him, his features softened by the evening dusk.

Ben looked down, a whole head taller than her, and hesitated. "Um. Can I—"

"Yes," she said, and he bent his head over hers and kissed her, a tentative soft thing, almost as if he was still somehow afraid to push further.

He broke the kiss and she looked up at him, her lips still tingling. "Will you do it again?" she asked nervously. "Please?"

"Oh! Yeah," he said, sounding surprised, and this time brought his free hand up and rested it on her shoulder as his lips moved across hers.

Rey stood on her tiptoes and dropped his hand to grasp his shoulders with both hands, her mouth eagerly searching his. Ben moaned into the tiny space between them and backed into the carved stone balustrade, his hands finding her bare back, grasping at her breast band.

"Ben," she breathed, and he froze, his hands on her skin, then held her away, his face again an unreadable mask.

"I—I'm sorry," he said, and she stepped back, confused but not hurt.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, her hands feeling quite empty and cold without him.

"No, I just—" He grimaced and shook his head. "It's an adjustment."

"But before you were touching my—"

"I know," he said, flushing. "I just—some things are easier than others."

Rey considered this. "I suppose we have different ideas of what intimacy means."

"We might," he said wryly, a small smile at the corners of his mouth.

"Would it help if—if I didn't initiate anything and let you do everything?" Rey stepped away and held her hands at her sides.

He thought about it for a moment. "It might. Let's—let's go walk up to the second floor."

~

The second floor terrace was beautiful, a wide open space from which the lake and mountains were visible, overshadowed by an enormous tree that Rey didn't know the name of. Flowers in all colors imaginable grew from stone pots on the balustrade and climbed over the stone barriers and pillars.

Ben strode over to the edge and looked out at the fading sunset, clasping his hands behind his back. Rey followed, looking around.

"This is beautiful," she said, joining him.

He eyed her sideways and breathed deeply. "Yes, it is. Do you—" he paused, turned his head, "want to meditate?"

"Sure," said Rey awkwardly, and they both sat down, cross legged, on the cool stone and closed their eyes, both facing outward toward the mountains and the dimming light.

 _Reach out,_ said the Force.

Rey heard Luke Skywalker's light, gravelly tones.

Ben heard the voice of his father.

_Reach out. What do you see?_

Rey saw Ben. A glowing dusk-lit window, a storm just passing; the Force a maelstrom of lightning in a far-off cloud.

Ben saw Rey. A crystal, shot through with fault lines, refractions glimmering like fire in the Force; darkness where the fault lines were, but light streaming through it.

_Darkness rises—and light to meet it._

_Rey, look._

Rey reached out, and looked into Ben, into the whirling vortex of the storm, and felt something, deeper within, so deep inside him that she thought it might be lost. Unable to stop herself, she reached toward it, and it sucked her in and slammed her up hard against the last thing she'd expected.

Grief.

A small, black-haired boy sobbing for his mother, his tiny fists balled into his eyes. Rey saw him as he was, and it broke her heart. "Ben," she said, and held out her hands.

Ben felt the intrusion and saw her, reaching out to him, pity on her face. A girl. Just her, Rey, as she normally looked, but with bright light streaming from her, giving her the appearance of some mythical celestial being, a primordial figure of light and shadow.

"You have to feel it," she said. "Let yourself feel it, and let it go in the Force." She had tears on her cheeks, bright-tracked and shining.

Ben closed his eyes and let himself _feel_ for the first time in what felt like years. His grief overwhelmed him, and he bent down to the ground, terrible animal sounds ripping from his throat.

Rey cried with him, releasing all her own grief, until it was gone and she was cried out, all her grief for Leia and Han and everyone lost, the Resistance, and her own parents, dead and gone and forgotten.

_And now, you let it go._

Rey breathed out, and felt all her grief and pain pass like a summer storm. Beside her, Ben was kneeling. She could sense him beside her, still full of grief and rage, but slowly it was dissipating and leaving only pale light—and then the light faded, swallowed by darkness and a roiling doubt and panic,  _I've sacrificed so much, it cannot be for nothing._

With a gasp, she opened her eyes.

She was on the verandah, kneeling with her hands on the stone, tears still wet on her cheeks. "Ben," she said softly.

Ben was half keeled over, on his side with his arms bracing his body, a tangled mass of black hair covering his eyes. His mouth was contorted into a moue of pain, and he was trembling.

Rey reached out with the Force and saw his struggle to let go, saw his desire to hold onto the pain. "Let go," she whispered. "You're still holding on. Let it go."

(How strange, she thought, that their places had been switched. How strange that she was the one giving him guidance.)

After what seemed like an eternity, Ben finally surrendered himself to the Force, tears dripping down his cheeks, and his whole body shook with emotion as he let go. Rey felt the clarity of his spirit shining through, pale and unsure, but true.

She waited until he had dragged himself up to a more upright position before venturing a half-whispered "are you all right?" to which he responded, through his teeth and very firmly, "I need to be alone."

"Oh." Rey got to her feet. "I'll just, um. Go to bed."

He didn't respond, just turned his face away and bent his head.

Slowly, Rey backed up a few steps, then turned and walked away.


	14. Exploration

Rey took her time and poked her head into every room, looking for a place to sleep. The ground floor bedrooms were more to her liking, she thought .They had deep recessed fireplaces and lush blankets, and most importantly: in case of emergencies she could easily escape from a window.

After some fiddling with the fireplace in the second-biggest bedroom, she got a fire started, and headed for the refresher. She was still dirty from the battle, and looking at herself in the mirror she wondered why on earth Ben had even wanted to kiss her.

Dirt was still smudged across her nose and left cheek, and the rest of her body wasn't much better off. She wrinkled her nose, stripped, and hopped into the shower, scrubbing away every speck of dirt with a cloth and a thick bar of soap.

After drying off, she walked to the closet and threw the doors wide, wondering if she should even bother with a nightgown. They seemed to do nothing but tangle about her legs at night. Rey stared at a deep blue robe of some lush fabric and shrugged it on over her shoulders, deciding it would be better to just sleep without anything at all, and sat down on the sofa in front of the fire to comb her hair out and dry it.

She'd just finished drying it into a silky soft finish, and was wondering if she should try to reach out through the Force to check on Ben or if that would be considered impolite when there was a soft knock at the door behind her.

Rey swallowed and sat back, patting her head to ensure no stray hairs were sticking out. "Come in," she said, just loud enough to let it carry, and turned her head to see.

The door creaked open, and Ben's dark head peered around the corner, his eyes flickering over and finding her. "I just." He seemed to lose his train of thought. "I. Wondering if you found a place to sleep."

"There's ten bedrooms," she said, confused. "Of course I did."

"Oh. Right." His eyes were fixed on her, then he blinked and looked down at the carpet. "I'm going to go sleep across the hall."

"All right. Night." Rey watched him duck out and felt oddly slighted, as if she'd missed something important. She stood up and opened her robe, enjoying the heat of the fire on her naked skin, then eased the robe off her shoulders, heat enveloping her.

She was just slipping the robe off when Ben poked his head back in and said, "And—" before making a strangled sound and jerking himself upright so fast he bashed his head against the door.

"Oh, kark," she said, yanking the robe back up around her chest and holding it there.

"Sorry, sorry." Ben rubbed his forehead and winced. "I should have knocked, I—"

"—No, it's all right—"

"—just wanted to say that I, I appreciated you meditating with me—"

Rey, seized by a terrible impulse, said, "Come here."

Ben brought himself up short. He eased into the room, left the door ajar, and walked over very much as if he expected her to pounce on him like a vine-tiger.

"You—" Rey felt abashed. "You look cold. Come stand by the fire." It was a lame excuse, and they both knew it. She stepped back to make room, and he stepped in, spreading his big hands out to bask in the warmth.

"Feels good," he said, and looked at her with that odd sideways glance of his. In the firelight, his eyes were the same shade of honey-brown his mother's had been.

"Would you—" She swallowed, trying to think of how to phrase it. "Would you like to sleep here?" There. That wasn't too overbearing. Just an offer, a question, a choice—

Ben turned and regarded her, his face gone queerly blank again. She didn't think she could bear it.

"I want to kiss you again," she whispered, plaintive and soft.

"Rey," he said softly, and leaned his head down, his mouth finding hers and moving across it, into it. She groaned softly, reaching up and burying her hands in his soft tangle of black hair; he responded in due kind, dragging his fingers through hers and dipping his hand down the nape of her neck, across her bare shoulders—

Ben gripped the robe and pulled, leaving her standing, golden and warm, in front of the fire. He broke the kiss to look at her, and his lips parted in a stunned expression.

"Don't panic," Rey begged. "Please."

He blinked, swallowed, and reached out with his right hand, the first knuckle on his index finger just tracing the underside of her left breast: small, rounded, and pert. She didn't move, and slowly his fingers brushed up and over her nipple, raising the gooseflesh on her chest and arms.

"That," he said, his voice very hoarse. "Um." His right hand rose to meet the left, and brushed across her other breast, then gently pressed and lifted, his palms full of her firm flesh.  "Oh," he breathed, and bent his forehead down to touch hers. "Is that all right?"

Rey covered her hands with his and squeezed. "It's more than all right," she whispered, and let go of his hands to trace his collarbone, just visible inside his shirt. "Can I—can you—?"

Ben let go of her chest and pulled his vest off, then pulled his shirt off over his head, exposing a freckled throat and deeply muscled torso marred only by the scars she had given him. He seemed golden, luminescent like her in the firelight.

Rey reached up and traced the scar on his right side, beginning where it began above his right eyebrow. Her fingers tracked its path across his skin from his cheek to his jaw, down his neck, past his collarbone, down, down to his pectoral muscle where it ended.

"It's improved my looks," he said, a small smile playing at his mouth.

Rey returned the smile, then leaned forward and kissed the end of the scar, directly above his nipple. "I'm not sorry I did it," she said, hot against his skin. "But I'm sorry it won't go away."

Ben made a soft, odd noise and brought his hands up, one resting lightly against her shoulder and the other on her waist.

"Oh, is that sensitive?" Rey, intrigued, looked down. "It can't be the scar, scar tissue doesn't have nerve endings. It must be—" She bent a little and brushed her thumb across his nipple, and he stiffened and gripped her tight, letting out a very undignified noise that sounded a bit like _glurk._

"Rey," he managed, when he could speak again. His hands were shaking. "Rey—"

"Don't do that?" she asked, already beginning to take a step back.

His hands tightened. "No. Do it again," he whispered, and she stared in surprise, then leaned forward and rubbed her thumb hard against both his nipples, eliciting another noise from Ben that was certainly not a word in any language she knew, but the meaning of which was quite clear.

She wasn't familiar with human males, true; but Rey was sensible enough to know that in situations such as this, when one found a sensitive spot, one should pay as much attention as possible. She bent her head down and pressed her tongue flat against his nipple, then bit slightly and sucked at it.

Ben let out an animal sound, digging his fingers into her skin, and dragged her down with shocking force to the sofa, his mouth crushing against hers again. His skin was burning hot, his eyes wild. "Rey," he growled, somewhere deep in his chest, and kissed her neck, her cheek. His teeth grazed her collarbone and she gladly pulled him down, down to her.

One of her legs was stuck between his leg and the couch. "Ben," she gasped. "Your leg, I'm stuck." He moved it and lost his balance, falling off the sofa and taking her with him with a thump.

Rey landed on top, still kissing him, and he grabbed hold of her and rolled over so that she was under him. His hips ground helplessly against hers, and she felt the hard bulge she'd briefly familiarized herself with before rubbing against her on the other side of his trousers. "Kriff," he swore, and stopped, burying his forehead in her neck and panting, trying to get his bearings.

"Too much?" Rey patted ineffectually at his shoulders. "Are you all right?" Trying to move him would have been like trying to move the whole villa.

"I—" Ben sat up, flushed in the face. "I'm behaving like an animal. I'm sorry."

"No, I liked it," she said, surprised. "You don't have to apologize."

"I—I don't think I'm ready for this." Ben sat back on his heels and covered his face with his hands

"Well, we get further every time," she said, trying to be helpful. "In terms of, um, you loosening up and getting comfortable."

"I think," he said, and paused as if thinking very hard. "I just need more time."

Rey stood up and extended her hand. "Come to bed," she said. "No funny business, just sleeping. Agreed?"

Ben smiled at her and took her hand. "Agreed," he said, and stood, then followed her over to the bed.

She climbed onto the mattress and rolled herself up in the blankets on the right side as he lifted the left-side covers and slid under, lying on his back.

"Comfortable?" she asked, unable to think of anything else to say. 

"Mmm," he said. "Much more comfortable than my quarters on the  _Finalizer._ " He rolled his head over and looked at her. "There's a lot to get used to."

"I had a vision," she said, blinking and really feeling sleepy in spite of herself. "A long time ago. When I first touched the saber." 

"Hmm?" Ben's brows drew together. 

"I saw myself—or, I saw you, killing someone who was about to kill me. On a field, in the rain. Well, not you, really. Kylo Ren." She yawned. "I was wondering if it was a vision of the future, or of something that might have happened."

"Uncle Luke used to say that the Force works in mysterious ways," said Ben. "Sometimes it can show you things that will happen, but not quite as they happen. Or someone can manipulate it to get you to—"

A soft snore interrupted him. Rey was asleep, her mouth slightly open and her eyes shut, wrapped snugly in her blanket like a pastry roll. Ben stopped, smiled at her, and pulled his blankets up over his shoulders, rolling to face her. 

"I won't let them touch you," he whispered to her sleeping form. "You're safe with me. Always." He reached out, just touching her smooth dark hair, and traced it with a finger before dropping his hand and settling in to sleep, the last thing he saw before he drifted off the faint freckles on her firelit face. 


	15. What They Did In The Dark

Rey bolted upright in bed, the glow of the fire down to coals and dim flame.

Beside her, Ben was having a nightmare, making crying noises and anguished sounds in his sleep. He'd gone to bed in only his trousers, and his whole torso was visibly tight, sweat on his chest and forehead gleaming in the light from the three moons.

"Ben," she said, and touched his face. "Hey. Wake up."

His eyes flew open and he grabbed her hand, jerking half-upright and panting. "Rey," he said, finding her face.

"I'm here," she whispered. "I'm here. It's all right."

"I was dreaming," he said thickly, and pulled her into an embrace, burying his face in her hair, his arm encircling her whole waist. "It wasn't real." His other hand came up and found her hair.

"No, it wasn't," she said into his shoulder. "Do you need anything? I can go get you water, or—"

Ben shook his head and held her tight. "Don't go," he murmured, and his hand dipped lower, tracing over her lower back. "Please."

"I won't." Rey pressed her hands to his bare back, tracing the lines of muscle there. "I'm staying right here."

"I dreamed I was fighting," he whispered, and his hands stilled on her lower back. "I dreamed I lost you."

"It was only a dream." Rey kissed his cheek. "I'm here. Shh."

He turned his head and she felt his mouth, searching, just at the corner of her lips. Rey turned her head to meet his mouth, and he sighed, a low rumbling sound, finding her again.

 _I'm here,_ she said through the Force, and he broke the kiss, pressed his forehead to hers. He was still damp with sweat, the sheets around their waists tangled. Ben kicked at them until they were down by the foot of the bed, then let go of her and reached for his waistband.

 _Oh, it's happening,_ Rey thought in a mixture of panic and excitement.

Ben paused and looked up, and she realized with embarrassment he'd heard her. "Well. Yes, if that's what y—"

"Take your karking pants off right now," she ordered, red to the ears, and he grinned and obeyed, getting off the bed and dropping them to the floor.

Rey, still kneeling on the bed, stared at him. He was glowing, lit orange by the dying fire. She hadn't gotten a chance to see him, actually look at him before like this. His legs were thick with muscle from training, his hips narrow. A pair of V shaped lines bracketed them, leading down to—

Well. She didn't have to look at that. She raised her gaze to his belly, where a soft thatch of black hair under his navel led down to—

No, she didn't have to look. She wasn't going to. Rey swallowed and looked up at his broad chest, the muscle in his arms. He was looking at her like he expected her to run.

"Turn around," she said, and he did as she asked, showing her the wide expanse of his back, the deep shadows of the muscle cast by the light, the twin divots on his lower back, just above the twin curves of his behind, muscle rounded by hard work, twin shadows marring the outsides in a dip of muscle.

He turned back around and glanced at her from under his tousled mass of black hair, and she heard through the Force: _I hope she isn't afraid._

"I'm not," she insisted, still flushed, and glanced down at the place where his legs met his body.

Ben rubbed his nose. "Well, you haven't laughed this time."

Rey covered her face. "Oh, shut up. It's just—not something I'm used to seeing."

The bed dipped and she peeked between her fingers to see him on the edge, one knee on the bed and the other leg standing straight. "Anatomy lesson," he said, and pointed. "Twi'leks have something similar, but shaped differently. As you know."

" _Very_ differently," said Rey.

"Yes, well." Ben cleared his throat. "I'm not killing the mood, am I?"

"No, this is fascinating." Rey edged closer. "Go on."

"Right." Ben looked down. "This has a lot of nerve endings. Right now it's, um, full of blood and swollen due to a nervous system reaction that opens valves about here—" he touched the base "—and allows it to, um, harden for penetration purposes."

"So what are _those_ for?" Rey pointed.

Ben turned so red it was visible even in the firelight. "Those are, um. Reproductive organs. They don't come into any of this, except when I, uh, finish."

"Oh, orgasm?" Rey tilted her head. "What do they do?"

"Oh, nothing. They just  produce the, uh. Fluid I expel during—during the process of…orgasm." He said the last word as if he'd never spoken it before. "The reproductive fluid. So I'll do my best to not be, um. Inside you when that happens. I don't know if you're on any contraceptive or—"

"Oh, I have an implant," Rey said, brightening and pointing to her upper thigh. "It's good for ten years. I got it put in last year when a coalition of medical droids crash-landed on Jakku—long story, but it's good quality. Stopped my cycle, too."

"Oh," said Ben, looking surprised.

"So this goes…here?" Rey pointed at her own crotch. "How's that supposed to even _fit_?"

Ben choked back a laugh. "We take our time and trust each other."

She eyed him dubiously. "You're enormous."

"No, I'm just—human males have different—than, you know, a Twi'lek—" Rey sensed the odd mixture of embarrassment and pride rolling off him.

"You've never done this," she said. "How do you know it's going to work?"

"It's—" Ben blinked at her. "Humans are compatible. I mean, with very few exceptions such as medical problems or—"

"Oh, just come here and kiss me," she ordered, and Ben stopped talking at once, crawled up across the bed, and loomed over her.

"Like this?" he said softly, and leaned down, his lips sucking at her collarbone, hair brushing against her neck.

"I meant—" Rey jerked up in shock as his wide mouth closed on her right nipple, and buried her hands in his hair. "Ben!" She pulled him over on top of her, arching her back as he brushed her other nipple with his other hand and dragged his body up, kissing her mouth again and holding himself up with one forearm.

"It'll work," he whispered, and she felt his warm— _thing—_ press up against her, just between her thigh and her body. "Do you trust me?"

"I—" Rey struggled to move. "You're crushing me."

He pulled himself upright almost instantly, one hand still on her waist. "Better?"

"I want," she said thickly, trying to think through a haze of awful desperation and nervousness. "I want to be on top."

"Okay," he said, and lay down on his back, hands guiding her body as she raised herself up and slung her right leg over his hips.

"I can do this," she said, and planted her hands on either side of his head as she centered herself over his crotch.

"Slowly," he said, a note of anxiety coloring his voice.

"I know, don't be afraid," she said, and reached down, fumbling with him. Her fingers couldn't close around him. "Kark," she said under her breath, and raised herself up enough to press the tip just inside her.

Ben made a noise like " _gaah"_ and gripped at her thighs, all the tendons in his arms standing out. "You—you have to—" he struggled to get words out, "—put it _all_ the way in."

"I'm _working_ on it, hold on," she said hoarsely. The instinct to sit down hard on him was pulling at every cell in her body, but she was determined to do this correctly and not hurt herself or him. Sweating, she pushed him in another inch, feeling her body part around him, stretching as he'd said she would.

Ben let out a few choice words and helplessly jerked his hips up to her. He was already pink in the face, mouth open, black hair stuck to his forehead. "I need. I. Please. Rey. _Rey._ "

Rey swallowed and lowered herself as gently as possible, finding to her surprise that it didn't hurt at all as she'd thought it would. It was a different sort of pain, a sensation that raced down her thighs and tingled through every nerve; something she didn't want to end.

She came to rest on his skin, bottomed out flush against him.

"If you don't crinking _move,_ " gasped Ben, trembling underneath her, "I swear I'm going to—"

She jerked her hips forward and back, and dug her nails into his skin in shock at the sensation. "I—" She tried again, and stuttered, unable to keep the rhythm going. "I can't. I can't do this by myself—Ben, it's too much—"

Ben's arms reached up and dragged her down, flat against his chest. "Let me, I'll do it," he gasped into her ear, and held her tight against him as he began to slowly, evenly roll his hips.

Rey let out a horribly embarrassing noise she hadn't had any idea she could make, and dug her nails into his shoulders. Once she got her breath back, she let out a steady stream of frantic swearing as every thrust sent waves of sensation up her body and down her legs, and Ben, spurred on by it, quickened his pace.

Rey groaned as his arms tightened around her. "Can't breathe," she gasped, and Ben let go of her. She held herself up with her forearms, inches from his face, gasping for air as he moved.

Ben's face was a study in emotion. His teeth were bared in a wild expression, his brows drawn together in concentration. "I can't—" he panted, and grabbed for her hips. "Can't. Rey."

"Ben," she whispered, her own climax approaching like a ship out of hyperspace. "I'm—"

She finished first, back arched and snarling out her nervous system's grand finale, every muscle tense until it ebbed away and she slumped forward onto him, one hand buried in his hair and the other digging into his left bicep.

Rey dropped down, loose and pliant, half on him and half on the bed, her body feeling strung apart, like a broken doll. Ben brought his hands up, stroking her back. "Shh," he said softly.

"You didn't finish," she mumbled into his neck.

"It's okay," he said, and she felt him slip out of her, leaving her feeling empty without him.

She wanted to say _but it's rude to leave you hanging,_ she just couldn't find the breath to do it.

As their breathing slowed and evened, Ben turned his head and looked at her. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"I'm—I'm great," Rey said. "Are you?"

Ben rolled onto his side, facing her, and stroked the tangled mass of brown hair out of her face. "Yeah," he said softly, and kissed her.

Heat began to crawl back into her belly and she pressed herself up close to him. "Can we do it again?" she asked eagerly, breaking the kiss.

He snorted and looked down. "I mean. We could."

"I want you to finish," Rey said. "If you can still—"

"I can," he said, and slipped his hand between her legs, searching briefly before finding what he was looking for and pressing himself to her.

"Ooh," Rey said, wincing as her sore flesh parted again for him. "That hurts."

"I—do you want me to—"

"No, don't stop," she demanded, and hooked her right leg over his hip, pulling him in deeper. "Oh, _kark_."

Ben cupped the back of her neck and grabbed her waist with the other hand before rolling over on top of her, making sure to keep his body weight off her torso. "I'm here," he said in a voice gone an octave lower than normal, and started moving.

Rey reached out with the Force to meet him, and he let her in as freely as one might open a door. His thoughts were incoherent, strings of words jumbled together and colored messily by emotions of mixed pleasure, shame, fear, desperation, and intense—

 — _love her love her I need it need right here, here, hold tight hold her look at me—look at me Rey Rey look at me—_

Rey brought her eyes up and met him there, cupping his face in her hands. "I'm here," she gasped, and let him in, the Force sweeping away all doubt between them.

Ben's face contorted in an expression of agony, his teeth gritting together and bared. "Rey," he spat, and slammed into her, close and hard, groaning as he finally crested his peak and came hard.

Rey clutched at him, not knowing what to do, and waited as he came down, panting hard, and settled down atop her, one arm thrown around her waist and his head on her chest. Between her legs, something felt sticky and odd, but she didn't bother about it. "I've got you," she said softly, and stroked his hair out of his eyes.

He was crying. There were tears dripping off his large nose and onto her skin, warm little drops. "I'm okay," he said, voice breaking. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," she said, and combed through his hair, a soft rhythm. "Breathe. Just breathe."

He exhaled, hot and damp against her skin. "I'm okay," he said again, small and quiet.

Rey shifted, pulling him up to the pillow with her. "Sleep," she whispered. "I'm here."

Ben's eyes fluttered shut, his arm still circling her body, and Rey closed her own eyes, the warmth of him surrounding her like the sun.


	16. Training

It was mid-morning when she woke, on her left side with her left arm numb, stuck underneath her side. Ben was half on top of her, his right arm slung over her chest and his face buried in her neck.

Rey shifted and got her left arm un-stuck, then proceeded to wince at the awful pins-and-needles sensation buzzing through her nerves. She rubbed it with her right hand, scowling. _Hell of a way to wake up,_ she thought.

Ben stirred and snuffled, raising his head behind her. "Hngh?"

"My arm fell asleep," she whispered, and turned her head. He looked like some sort of large, swamp-dwelling animal, his long nose poking out from under the black hair plastered flat against his forehead. 

"Oh," he said sleepily, and flopped back down.

Rey inched out from under the weight of his arm. "I'm going to go eat," she whispered, and pressed a kiss to his bare shoulder before sliding out of bed.

Her leg and stomach muscles ached pleasantly as she walked to the couch and picked up her robe, pulling her hair back out of her face. Light streamed in through the gauzy curtains, and she stole a glance back at Ben's sleeping form before walking down the quiet hall and into the kitchen to grab a bite to eat.

Halfway through her meal of fruit and blue cheese, Ben walked into the kitchen, clad in a pair of sleeping trousers he'd scrounged from the wardrobe.

Rey waved at him with her knife. "Morning," she said cheerfully.

"Caf?" he asked, blinking like a desert-owl. She pointed at the counter and he shuffled off to start the brewer.

(She thought that it might be wise to hold off from telling him that the trousers he was wearing had previously belonged to Poe Dameron until he'd had a cup or two.)

She was finishing her cheese on toasted bread when he sat down with three cups of fresh caf, and dumped a good amount of yellow cream into all three cups before gulping them down in quick succession. Rey stared in astonishment.

"Morning," he said hoarsely, and peered at her from under his hair.

"You're not a morning person, I see," she said, and sipped at her own caf. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Are you?" His gaze didn't leave her face.

 _He's worn that mask for too long,_ she thought. _He still thinks no one can see his face._

"Yes," she said, and lightly covered his resting hand with hers. "What do you want to do today?"

Ben drew his hand away and at the same time gave her a thoughtful, almost hungry look that spoke volumes about what he thought would be a fitting, all-day pastime for the two of them.

Instead, he said, "We could train. The porches are wide enough."

"Okay." Rey finished her food and shoved her stool back. "I'll get changed. You eat. Meet you there in half an hour."

He grunted assent and dove into the cold cuts as she left her plate in the auto-cleaner and headed to her room.

~

Rey cleaned up quickly in the fresher and changed into a loose pair of grey pants, a pair of sturdy flat shoes she found under a dress in the wardrobe, and a tunic that served well enough for something to move in. She pulled the top of her hair into a half-knot, letting the rest flow free, and grabbed up her lightsaber from the sitting room on the way to the veranda.

Ben was waiting for her, sitting cross-legged on the balustrade, dressed in his black pants and a gray tunic. As soon as he saw her, he dropped to the floor with a catlike movement. "Turn the power down on your saber," he directed, and she fiddled until she found the knob and turned it down to a dim blue that would not sever a limb if struck.

"I didn't know that was an option," she said, and widened her stance, holding the saber at the ready.

Ben's eyes narrowed. "Feet should be shoulder width apart," he said, and she adjusted her pose. "Stand with your back straight, not hunched over like you're about to dive at someone."

Rey moved into a better position. "Like this?"

"Yes." Ben saluted her with his saber, crackling red with the power turned low. "And now." He lunged at her with surprising fierceness, and she met his onslaught in a parry and twist, pushing him to the side. "Good!" he said, shaking his hair out of his eyes. "Again."

Rey met him again and again, slashing and parrying and managing to get in some lunges of her own until he was up against the rail, panting hard, holding her off in a block.

Her muscles ached. "Yield," she gasped, and he nodded short and sharply, sweat plastering his hair to his forehead.

She pulled away and powered off her saber, leaning down and resting her hands on her knees to catch her breath. "How'd I do?" she asked.

Ben powered off his and wiped his forehead with his sleeve. "Very well," he said, his breath coming in short bursts.

"You need a hair tie," she said, looking up at him.

He made a face at her, but took the proffered hair tie from her pocket and combed his hair back roughly into a tail, then secured it with the tie. Both his ears stuck out, framed by loose strands of black hair. "Don't laugh at my ears," he warned her, and she felt a wave of slight insecurity through the Force.

"The only thing I'll laugh at is your footing," she shot back, and ignited her lightsaber again, waiting.

Ben activated his, the red ozone crackling, and rose to meet her.

Back and forth, around and around they went, sabers crashing and crackling with every step. Ben found himself yet again backed into a corner, this one between the wall of the house and the balustrade connecting there, and held off Rey as she pressed down, her blade inching closer with every breath.

Out of sheer desperation, he swerved hard to the left, leaning over the railing as her blade narrowly missed him and swung over his head, leaving her open for attack as her left hand closed around his right wrist, still holding his saber. He yanked himself back up, grabbed her saber wrist, twisted around and pinned her to the wall where he'd been seconds before.

And there they were, wrists in hands, blades on either side, unable to get free.

Her face was inches away. "Yield," she demanded, struggling to twist her wrist even as her hand tightened on his.

"It's a tie," he said, his chest heaving with exertion.

Rey looked up into his face, so close to hers. "It's," she began, then forgot what she was going to say.

Ben's saber deactivated and slipped out of his hand just as hers did the same, both clattering to the stone floor. He pinned both her wrists to the warm wall and pressed his forehead to hers, eyes half shut, reveling in the nearness of her, the heat.

Rey stretched her neck forward and pressed her open mouth to his, her tongue finding his bottom lip and tracing it. She felt him shudder and move, his arms folding in close and pinning her wrists by her shoulders as he pressed his body to hers. His mouth came alive, teeth finding the delicate skin of her lips, her jawline, her neck. Rey groaned.

"We're in _public_ ," she gasped, both alarmed and delighted. "Ben."

"Nobody's around for klicks," Ben said into her hair, soft and low. "I could take you right here on the deck."

Rey's whole body flushed in heat and she raised her right leg, trying to drag him in closer. " _Ben_ ," she said in shock.

"Is that a yes?" He let go of her wrist to clutch at her leg, and they both sank to the floor, up against the wall. Rey drew him in close and tilted her hip up, pressing against the bulge in his trousers.

"How long has that been there?" she asked, her hands already searching inside his shirt.

"Since you got me pinned to the wall," Ben rumbled, and lifted the hem of her tunic, fingers brushing against her stomach.

"Someone might see us," she gasped.

"I can do something that won't involve being fully naked," he said, and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Interested?"

Rey bit on her lower lip. "Yes. Please." The ache of need deep in her belly was outweighing everything else.

Ben lifted her forward, then laid her down gently on her back, nudging her legs apart with his knee. "Hold still," he said, and hooked his thumbs into her waistband.

"What—what are you—?" Rey's mind was foggy with arousal, unable to focus.

"I'm going to use my mouth. Is that okay?"

"You're going to _what_?" Rey looked surprised, but intrigued. "But I'm filthy. We just spent an hour—"

"I don't care," Ben said, and pulled down her trousers to her knees in one smooth motion, exposing her mound, the soft fuzz of short, trimmed hair there. _You've put your mouth far worse places,_ he told himself, and leaned down to kiss her thigh, savoring the taste of her, the female human scent of musk and hormones mingled with sweat.

"I don't stink, do I?" asked Rey nervously from above, and he shook his head against her leg, making her jerk and giggle. Ben's mouth moved up over the crux of her, hovered for a moment, then slowly maneuvered down between her bent legs and directly over—

 _So that's what it looks like up close,_ he thought, and planted a wide, wet kiss on her nether regions.

Rey jerked up and gasped, clutching at his hair again. "Up, up," she panted, and he obeyed, his tongue scraping against soft tissues until he found a small nub that made her shriek and spasm, grinding up into his face. "Not, not so rough," she gasped, "slower and—yes, oh, like that— _Ben_ —keep doing that—"

He did as she told him to, and reached out with the Force, feeling for her.

Rey's arousal hit him like a sonic blast, and his own body responded; her sensations were his too, every pulse she felt flowing through him. She was close, he could feel, so close, they were close, and then she was cresting and over the wave and moaning as her body went loose and pliant, doused in dopamine.

Swollen and still trapped in his pants, Ben's cock jerked and pulsed, untouched. He groaned into the juncture of Rey's legs in bliss as he came. Wet seed began to seep through the front of his pants, and his legs shook.

Ben pulled away from her trembling legs, his face wet and shining from his nose to his chin. "Breathe," he reminded her, half-panting himself.

Rey was splayed out, chest heaving, her hair in disarray and her face flushed. "You felt it, too," she gasped. "You—I felt you—"

Ben crawled up her body and hovered above her neck, hardly able to support himself with his own arms. "Yes," he confirmed, and kissed her neck. "That was. A lot."

She raised her head and pushed herself up, pink to the ears as she pulled her pants back up. "I, she began, then hesitated. Ben sat up, a little shaky and acutely aware of the soaked spot in his pants.

Rey leaned forward and kissed him full on the mouth, cupping his head with her hands, then slid her face along his, cheek to cheek. "Ben," she said softly, and her breath tickled his ear.

"Ooh," he said, and wriggled a little.

"Oh, I'm sorry; are you ticklish?" Rey drew back and looked at him.

"Not—not ticklish, exactly—" Ben flushed a little, and Rey blinked at him, then leaned forward and caught his ear in her teeth gently. Ben jerked into her and gripped her tight. "Oh, hell," he gasped.

"So that's the power switch," said Rey, half teasing as she rested her hand on his crotch. "Seems to be in fair working condition. Very good. No bypasses needed. Straight to lightspeed—"

Ben buried his hand in her hair and pulled, just gently enough to not hurt her, and her whole face dropped, mouth open in stunned shock as he sensed her body responding favorably. Her head fell back, neck exposed. "Careful," he growled, and kissed her hard on the mouth before letting go and standing up.

"Moof-milker," said Rey, dazed. "Come back here."

He turned and grinned. "No. You—"

Their conversation was interrupted by the distant, but unmistakable whine of engines fast approaching.

Ben let out a swear word that Rey had never heard before and leaned down to snatch her up. "Go! Get inside!"

Rey followed him through the doors and waited as he looked around wildly. "Who is it?"

"It's the First Order. I know those engines." Ben whipped around, white as a sheet. "I'm trying to think. You can hide in the attic. I can tell them you killed the Knights of Ren and then got away and—and I'll say I was wounded and staying here and didn't have a comlink."

"But you're not wounded," she said blankly. "And if they take you back—"

"They'll have no other choice." Ben looked at her. "It's either that or death for them." He looked down at his hand and ignited his saber, drenching them both in scarlet light. Then he lifted his tunic, aimed one of the cross-guarded exhaust ports at his stomach, and gritted his teeth as the smell of burning flesh filled the room.

Rey backed away. "I'll fight with you," she said. "I'll—"

He looked up, his hair come loose again. "No. You won't. I will not lose you again. You will stay put and hide until we go. Am I clear?"

"Ben, I won't—"

He deactivated his saber and hung it on his belt, teeth bared in pain. "I'm _not_ against knocking you out with the Force and dumping you in a wardrobe under some robes for an hour. Is that what you want?"

She glared at him. "You wouldn't."

"Get into a closet and stay there and stay quiet. _Now._ " He looked up just in time to see an approaching S-class shuttle, gliding over the house and settling into the burned out meadow. "And pray they don't have thermal sensors."

"Fine, _Kylo,_ " she snapped, and didn’t miss his wounded look as she took off up the stairs and into one of the smaller bedrooms, burying herself in a mass of rich fabric someone had left behind and clutching her lightsaber with both hands.


	17. Separation

Ben—no, he was Kylo Ren again, just as she'd said—made his way into the field in his battle-torn black tunic, cupping his burned side as he walked.

The shuttle landed and the gangplank slid out, and out came General Hux, flanked by eight Stormtroopers in black armor and wearing his usual expression of disdain between his black officer's cap and greatcoat.

His nose wrinkled as he caught sight of Kylo, and he remained at parade rest until the taller man was within speaking distance.

"Supreme Leader," he said, as if every syllable pained him to say. "I understand the Knights of Ren are dead."

"Yes." Kylo met his eyes until Hux looked away, unnerved by the stare. "They were murdered. And you're late."

"We intercepted a transmission from the fleeing Resistance before they reached hyperspace. It concerned that scavenger girl." Hux's eyes flickered back up, pale and cold. "They said she had stayed behind to fight your party off."

"She did." Kylo swallowed and pulled what he hoped was an angry face. "She killed the Knights and left me for dead with a wound." He indicated his side.

"One girl with a lightsaber killed the Knights of Ren?" Hux's lip curled. "Surely you have some explanation."

"She is strong with the Force." Kylo narrowed his eyes. "I don't expect you to grasp what that entails."

Hux's face turned an unflattering shade of lobster pink that clashed dreadfully with his red hair. "No, I don't pretend to know a thing about your religious fanaticism," he snapped. "Where is she now?"

"I have no idea," Kylo said evenly, and stared off at the mountains. "There were no ships. She must have escaped on foot."

"Likely being harbored by the Naboo," said Hux. "I can send a few platoons to search Theed for her."

"No," said Kylo quickly. "She couldn't have made it back to Theed. There are no ships here. The Resistance escaped in the Millennium Falcon. They must have returned for her and left."

"As you say." Hux's eyes flickered over Kylo. "Search the house," he ordered, turning to the troopers. "There may be supplies within they left here, and they must be destroyed."

Kylo Ren fought to keep an even face. "Be on your guard," he added. "They may have set traps in the house."

~

Rey, beginning to feel smothered under a pile of crushed velvet, froze as she heard footsteps walking and the unmistakable cadence and buzz of stormtroopers' voices, gradually coming nearer.

"Any sign of a trap?" asked one.

"Negative," answered the other. "Check the closet."

She had no choice. She was trapped. What was Kylo doing? What was she supposed to do? Had he sent them there? Had it all been a trap, after all? Rey straightened and huddled back against the wall, willing herself to disappear—but not even the Force could make her invisible. Quickly, she tucked her saber hilt into her pants, under her tunic.

A black-armored hand swept the chiffon and lace aside and the black visor of a Stormtrooper stared at her. "Hey!" He brought his blaster up.

"Don't shoot!" she gasped, hands up. "Please!" Pretending she wasn't a threat might keep her alive for a little longer.

"Stand up." He motioned with his blaster. "FE-4520, search her."

Rey closed her eyes and reached out with the Force, guiding the second trooper's hands…and he crossed over her tunic where the lightsaber was shoved, not touching her.

FE-4520 stood back. "She's unarmed."

"Good. Take her out to Ren and the General."

Rey marched beside them, restraints on, her head down as they entered the bright sunlight and marched across the garden into the sooty meadow, Hux a speck of orange and Ben-Kylo-Ren-Solo a blot of white on black. She didn't look up again until the troopers had stopped and saluted. She didn't think she could bear to look at his face.

"She was hiding in the house," said FE-4520. "Likely there for a while, judging by the smell."

Rey flushed. "I do not smell," she snapped.

Hux sneered. "Well done. You flushed out this…feral child. You're lucky we came along, Ren. She could have killed you in your sleep."

Kylo didn't make a sound, but his fingers twitched toward his lightsaber.

"Now. You, young lady, will be taken aboard the _Finalizer_ and put on trial for the murder of the late Supreme Leader Snoke." He was almost smiling, his pasty white face pink with glee. "I will personally preside over your trial, after which you shall, no doubt, be sentenced to death."

Rey gaped at him. "You're going to do _what?"_

Kylo went very, very quiet, and began to inch away from Rey very delicately.

"I said, we're going to try you for murder, you—"

"You can't try me for something I didn't do," she said indignantly, and pointed at Kylo Ren. " _He_ killed Snoke, not me. Then we killed the guards."

Hux stared at her with the air of a man who was playing with fire and knew it. "Ren said _you_ murdered Snoke."

Rey whirled on Kylo, ennraged. "You _snake,_ " she spat. "You _lied,_ you can't even take responsibility for your own actions, how _dare you—"_

Kylo Ren advanced on her, a stormcloud boiling over. "You should have run while you still had the chance," he snarled back. "You're a fool."

Rey lunged at him, screaming in fury, and bashed at his face with her restrained wrists, getting a good smack in before being dragged back by the troopers. "Coward!" she screamed, kicking out with her feet. "Liar! Traitor!"

Kylo wiped blood from his nose and regarded it coolly. "Get her on board," he said.

A low, dark shadow swept over them all, and Hux looked up in astonishment to see the familiar flat shape of the Millennium Falcon circling the shuttle, flanked by X-wings.

"Hux to _Finalizer_ , send TIE fighters and reinforcements!" he shrieked into his wrist comlink, just before the Falcon opened fire on their shuttle, blowing it to high heaven in a ball of fire.

Rey was knocked off her feet by the blaze and landed on her side, unable to right herself due to the restraints. She coughed and finally managed to sit up awkwardly, fighting the cuffs. "Help!" she screamed. Her lightsaber had dug into and bruised her left leg as she fell, and she set to trying to dig it out of her pants with her cuffed hands.

"Fire!" Hux was screaming from somewhere nearby. Green bolts of plasma shot up through the smoke and down into the earth, kicking up dirt.

Rey finally grabbed the hilt, activated it, and sliced the cuffs in two, standing and looking around wildly for something to stab.

She caught sight of Kylo, red saber blazing through the smoke.

 _You'll do,_ she thought in a rage, and took off running toward him, full speed.

~

Kylo felt her approach and whirled to meet her just in time, blades sputtering and crackling as they met. "Rey?" he yelled. "Rey, stop!"

"Fight me, you coward!" she screamed, swinging her blade against his.

"No," he said through his teeth, staring right into her face. "No. I won't." He pulled away and deactivated his saber, throwing it at her feet.

Rey stared, her blade dipping a bit. "Then I'll kill you," she said.

"You won't kill me," he said. "You can't."

She hesitated.

Only for a second.

And then she raised her blade and swung it full speed, directly at his neck.

Kylo's saber leaped back into his palm and re-ignited, barring her blade from going any further than an inch away from his skin. "Are you _insane_?" he gasped.

" _You took everything from me!"_ she roared, and the Force shook to its foundations. " _Luke, Han, Leia, everything, everyone, they're gone because of you!"_

Kylo, shaking with effort, dropped to his knees. Her strength was inhuman, surging through the Force, pulling from her rage, her fear, her hatred.  "Rey," he gasped. "Stop."

She bore down, and down, and down until his blade was singing his hair, the stench filling his nose. "You took them and you lied to me, and now I want you to _beg._ "

He couldn't hold her blade back. It slipped, and seared the flesh on his neck. His scream filled the air around them as more cannon fire from above ripped through the ground, shredding the earth.

" _Beg me!_ " she screamed.

"Please!" he screamed, tears freely flowing from the agony. "Rey, please, please, don't kill me, don't, don't kill me, please—"

She raised her left foot as she leaned back and stomped down hard on his saber-hand, deactivating the blade and driving his hand into the dirt. He cried out again and looked up at her through his hair, tears on his cheeks, groveling in the dust.

Rey wondered how she could have ever trusted him, this pathetic thing at her feet.

"You can live with this," she said, and deactivated her saber, kicking him hard in the gut, directly at his fresh burn.

Kylo Ren jerked and wailed in pain, still trapped by her foot on his right hand. "Stop," he sobbed. "Stop, Rey."

"I'll let you live," she said, stepping back and hoping his hand was broken. "I'll let you live, and I'll let you go back to the _Finalizer_ with your precious General and you can explain to him what happened here today."

Behind her, landing lights lit up the smoke and the dust, a beacon to light her home. Kylo stared at her, a figure backlit by white light, and reached out with his good hand.

"Rey, please," he begged.

"I will never call you Ben again," she said, clipping the saber to her belt as the gangplank rolled out.

"Take me with you." Kylo was crying again, crawling towards her. "Please. Before they come back. I never wanted any of this to happen. I want to go home—"

"You have a home," she spat. "You've made your choice. Live with it."

"Then so have you," he gritted out as a parting shot, and she headed up the gangplank, entirely unmoved, as if she hadn't even heard him.


	18. A Proposal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [waves red SPOILER flags] I know you're all here for the Rey/Kylo, so if Poe/Rey doing some heavy petting is your absolute squick, feel free to skip over the next chapter, 19. It's slightly vital to Poe's character insight and will be called back later, though, so just keep that in mind. And enjoy!

Inside, she was greeted by Finn first, and then Poe, both of whom looked simultaneously worried and exhausted. Rose was close behind, somber-faced.

Rey couldn't look at them. She stumbled into the main deck and collapsed in the medical bunk, facing the wall with her knees drawn up to her chest. 

 _I want to go home_.

"You have no home," she whispered, and began to cry, hot tears welling up and splashing down her cheeks, staining the cushions.

She cried for what felt like ages, all the way through the jump to lightspeed, and that was when Poe came in, quiet and gentle.

"Hey," he said softly, and she heard the squeak of his boots as he crouched. "Hey, Rey. Deep breaths. Let it out. Hard on the throttle. Easy on the fuel line, it's leaking down your face."

She snorted in spite of herself and sniffed wetly. "I'm trying," she said, hiccupping slightly, "but the regulator isn't working."

He moved and she felt him sit on the very edge of the bunk, right at her waist. "Can I give you a friendly pat on the shoulder?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said through tears, and he laid his warm hand on the curve of her shoulder, rubbing gently.

"We're all here," he said. "We're all safe and we came back for you, and we're going to Coruscant."

"They can intercept your—"

"Transmissions, we know. They're not great at hiding it. We cloaked 'em starting just after the night we got out of here." Poe squeezed her shoulder. "You don't need to worry about a thing."

Rey turned over and sat up, feeling tired. "You're the General now?" she asked, seeing his fresh dots.

"Yep. We made a run to Coruscant and made the announcement to the emergency Senate that the First Order had murdered Leia Organa and it caused a bit of a stir." Poe rubbed his temples. "Everything's happened so fast these last few days. You'd be shocked how well-loved some people are after they—well, anyway, the important thing is that we have some very wealthy supporters now, we told them all about you, and they're all just falling over themselves to meet the new Jedi."

Rey looked up at him. "Where's Leia?" A knot rose in her throat. "I mean. Her body."

Poe dropped his hand and folded his in his lap. "She wanted to be cremated and released in the Graveyard."

"The—?"

"The asteroid field that was left when Alderaan was destroyed. Her body is on Coruscant right now, but we plan on fulfilling her will." Poe looked down and swallowed. "I have to ask. Rey." He glanced at her, dark eyes flashing. "Did he—did Kylo Ren hurt you?"

Rey closed her eyes, the Force echoing through Poe and giving her flashes, Poe's memory of being locked into a chair and having his mind torn open for Kylo Ren to see. "Not like that," she said quietly. "No. He—I trusted him. He lied. He betrayed me. You—you were right." She sniffed. "And if you say 'I told you so' I'm going to kick you in the leg."

"I'm sorry," said Poe. "That sometimes hurts the worst of all."

Finn entered, his worried face peering around the circular table. "Rey?"

"Finn," she said, breaking down into sobs, and he hurried across the room and wrapped his arms around her tight. Rey gripped him back, firm and warm and solid, and cried into his shoulder.

Poe hugged them both tightly. An inquisitive little burble of beeps from the corner got his attention. "No, BB-8, she isn't actually leaking," he said, eliciting laughs from Finn and Rey. More beeps from the droid. "No, not malfunctioning either." The little orange and white droid rolled up, bobbed its head at the three of them, then scooted off.

Rey leaned back and wiped her eyes. "Can I—I need to change and get washed up."

Finn nodded. "We brought you fresh clothes. They're in the crew bunks."

"And I want to see Chewie," she said firmly.

~

Back on the ground, back in Varykino, Kylo Ren rose from the scorched earth and watched the Falcon sweep upwards into the sky, tears still wet on his face.

_No. No, no, no. Come back._

Hux stumbled out of the smoke, disheveled and singed. Eight stormtroopers followed him. "They've gone," he gasped, clutching a blaster.

"And they took her," Kylo said, flinging out his hand and calling his saber back into it.

Hux hesitated, looking at him. "She seemed very upset—"

"Of course she was upset," snapped Kylo. "She's discovered that we know she murdered Snoke."

He could feel the doubt rolling off Hux like a fog. "Yes," said Hux slowly. "Of course."

"You doubt me," said Kylo. "You believe her. You believe that scavenger, because of your hatred for me."

"I—Ren—"

"I am the Supreme Leader!" screamed Kylo in a rage, and flung Hux across the dirt, the Force surging and swelling around him. "You will obey me!"

Hux staggered up from the ground, smeared with dirt and bare-headed. "Yes, Supreme Leader," he gasped, terror overtaking the doubt. "There is a shuttle waiting and ready on the other side of the house. Shall we return to the _Finalizer?_ "

Kylo nodded short and sharp. "Yes. Ensure all usable goods have been taken from the building. Let's go."

He did not turn back and look at the house as they walked to the shuttle.

~

Rey finished showering and turned the water off, letting the blow-dry cycle dry her body before she stepped out of the recessed shower and grabbed the sleeveless wrap shirt and loose grey trousers that Finn had laid out for her. Slipping them on felt like putting on a new skin, fresh and clean, which she sorely needed after both the bone-crushing, furry hug from Chewbacca and his tearful recounting of the death of Leia and their trip to Coruscant.

Poe knocked and poked his head in. "Hey. Finn and Rose bunked down in the main hold. How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," she said, and crossed over to the bunk. "I just. I don't know."

Poe sat on the opposite bunk. "Yeah?"

"You don't want to listen to it," she said. "You're probably busy. What with having to run the whole Resistance."

"Rey, if you want to talk, I'm here." He spread his hands apart. "What's on your mind?"

"I just…I don't know how to feel," she said, feeling dismal. "There's—I don't know what to think. I thought it would be okay, and then it wasn't. I almost killed him. I was so angry. He was right. There's darkness in me."

"There's darkness in everyone," said Poe. "What matters is how you choose to use that darkness. You can be a grade-A nerf-herder, like our pal Kylo Ren, or you can balance it out with light."

Rey looked at her hands. "Balance it out with light," she repeated softly. "Yes." She looked up suddenly. "I'm so sorry—this is your cabin now, isn't it?"

He shrugged, a lock of curly hair dropping into his eyes. "It's yours now. I can sleep in the hold. Wouldn't want to disrespect a Jedi."

"Well, that's more than I can say about Hux," she muttered.

"General Hux was down there?" Poe grinned. "You gotta tell me what he looked like when we came in for the flyover." He pulled an exaggerated face and affected a clipped accent. "'I'm General Hux, and—what is _that,_ blast it out of the sky, it will make me late for my _tea_ —'"

Rey giggled. "He was awful. He turns bright pink like a brine-craw when he gets angry. And he called me a feral child."

"Well that's just rude," said Poe. "You're definitely not a child."

She snorted and threw a pillow at him. "What was that about disrespecting Jedi?"

He laughed. "Sorry, sorry. I'll be on my way. Ten hours till we come out of lightspeed. Sleep well." He held his hands up in mock-surrender and stood.

"Wait," she said suddenly.

Poe stopped and looked back at her. "Yeah?"

"You can stay. Please. I don't want to be alone." She thought she might not be able to stand it if the bond linked her to Kylo again. "I don't know if the Force thing is still working," she explained.

"Oh," said Poe. "No, sure. I can stay. The bottom bunks fold out to a double—or did you want to—"

"That will be fine," she said.

Poe fiddled with the bunks, and after getting them to fold out to a wide double bed, sent BB-8 to guard the door. "Don't let anyone in without beeping me," he said, and Rey appreciated the gesture, but privately thought that Kylo Ren's Force-projection probably wouldn't be in the business of knocking on the door.

She curled up in the bed and watched as Poe took off his jacket and pulled his shirt over his head. He was smaller than Kylo, with muscle-rounded shoulders and chest from long hours in the cockpit. Poe saw her watching and offered a small smile, then kicked off his boots and slid into bed on the other side, facing her.

"You got nothing to be afraid of," he said softly. "He can't hurt you."

"He can touch me through the link," she said.

"Oh." Poe blinked. "Well. You sleep and I'll keep watch."

"Okay." Rey closed her eyes and willed the tension in her stomach to calm down. It felt like a knot, and she couldn't stop feeling like there was someone just out of sight watching her.

"This isn't working for you," said Poe gently. "Deep breaths. Press your tongue on the roof of your mouth."

Rey sighed and yanked the scratchy blanket up to her chin. "I just—"

And then she felt it.

The shift.

She jerked upright and stared to the foot of the bed, where Kylo Ren was standing, staring down at both of them. He was in black robes and cowl again, black-gloved hands clenched into fists.

"Kark," said Poe in shock, sitting up himself and staring.

"You can see him now?" Rey gasped, and slid backward as far as she could to the head of the bed.

Poe flung out his bare arm to shield her. "Get out of here," he snapped at the looming, dark figure.

Kylo's eyes slid from him to her, and she hid behind Poe, trembling. "I see," he said evenly, void of emotion.

"I don't want you here," snapped Rey.

"He can't stop the bond connecting us," said Kylo, horribly soft. "He can't protect you from me." 

"And you can't protect me from the First Order." Rey peered around Poe's hair and glared at him. "You lied. You _lied._ "

Kylo looked at Poe. "Did she tell you about Varykino? The aftermath? How I cared for her, treated her wounds?"

"Shut up," said Rey, heat gathering in her face.

"How we shared a bed together? Just the two of us?" Kylo's face was intensely focused on Poe. "You can't give her that, Dameron."

Poe glanced over his shoulder. "Yep, she told me everything," he said, without missing a beat. "Rey, how long does this link usually last?"

Rey, shaken out of her embarrassment, stared at him. "Uh, anywhere from ten to twenty minutes."

"Great. That's more than enough time." Poe winked at her, and she gaped at him. "Wanna test my hyperdrive?"

"Don't," said Kylo, gone even whiter than usual. "Rey."

Rey ignored him and gave Poe a wide smile, catching on. "I'd _love_ to run diagnostics on your motivator," she said, fluttering her eyelashes at Poe until he laughed. She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.

Kylo lunged at them both, an expression of fury on his face. "Stop!" he bellowed, and crashed into both of them, knocking Poe against the wall and Rey to the side.

Poe lunged up and grabbed Kylo by the throat with both hands. "You'll never touch her again," he growled. "You got that?"

Kylo, choking, let go of his wrists and, unable to use the Force through the link, punched Poe in the gut.

"Stop!" Rey shouted, and threw herself at Kylo, half-knocking Poe off the bed and sitting on Kylo's chest, holding him down by his hands. " _Stop_!"

"Get off me!" he shouted, enraged and struggling. "You don't give a damn about me—"

"You were going to turn me in to the First Order and let them kill me!" she yelled. "Don't you _dare—_ "

Poe sat up, coughing and gripping his bruised stomach. "She's got a point there."

"I would never have let them hurt you. I was going to get you on board and kill everyone, then steal the shuttle." Kylo was still struggling under her. "You were supposed to trust me!"

"I'm not going to trust someone who I've only trusted for two days to not murder me!" Rey snapped. "Are you insane? You told them I murdered Snoke!"

"That was _before_ we—we—" Kylo cast his eyes up at Poe desperately. "Are you just going to sit there?"

Poe shrugged at him. "Do I look like I care what she does to you?"

Kylo looked back at Rey. "You were never going to be harmed," he said. "Never. Please, believe me."

"Get karked," Rey said, and broke his nose with her forehead.

Kylo let out a warbling shriek and disappeared, leaving Rey on all fours on the floor. "Ouch," she said, rubbing her forehead and standing up.

Poe was staring at her like she was the sun. "That was _amazing_ ," he said. "Did you really just headbutt him in the nose? Do you need a cool pack? I can go get one out of the medbay."

"I would like that," Rey said, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Thanks."

Poe disappeared out the door wearing nothing but his pants and a huge grin, and Rey drew her feet up and exhaled deeply, reaching out for the Force.

It surrounded her, filled her being. "I don't want to see him," she whispered.

 _It is not what you want, but what must happen._ The Force was unbending.

"What do I have to do to stop seeing?" Rey hissed.

_Calm yourself. Forgiveness is the first step._

"I don't want to forgive him," she said stubbornly.

_Then you will continue seeing what you see._

Rey wrinkled her nose. She hadn't had visions of him while she was on Varykino, but she'd attributed that to being in the same place with him. Obviously—

Her concentration was broken as Poe re-entered with the cold pack and handed it to her. She took it and pressed it to her forehead. "Thanks," she said.

"So," he said, and sat on the bed. "You and, uh, him."

"Oh, please don't," she muttered, heat rising to her face.

"Was the, uh, murder and mayhem the attractor factor, or was it the debonair good looks?" Poe was trying, and failing, to hide his smile.  

"He saved my life and killed the Knights of Ren," she said quietly. "So...the murder, I guess."

Poe stared at her with his mouth open, then snorted. "I guess he has no idea what he wants, then."

"He wants—" Rey winced and moved the cool pack. "He wants power and he wants me, and can't decide what's more important. To have one he can't have the other. But I—" she gnawed on her bottom lip. "I'm conflicted too. He's the only person left who can teach me the ways of the Force. And I want to do the right thing, I just don't know what to do. I can't join them. But he can't join us."

"I know what I would choose if I was him," said Poe gently. "You sure you haven't explored all your other options?"

"Like what?" she asked.

"Like—just forgetting about all this, the Force, the Jedi. Join the Resistance. Be a soldier. You're a hell of a pilot, Rey. You could do anything you want."

"You want to recruit me?" Rey looked down at her hands.

"No, no. I mean. You could just join. And then, you know. Who knows how the war will end?" Poe's dark eyes were earnest. "Find someone, settle down on a nice Core World."

Rey's eyes flickered to the ring on the chain around his neck. "Oh," she said.

Poe looked down and flushed, dark red. "Oh. No, no, I mean. Not me. If you don't want—I mean, do you want? That? Me? Because if you _did_ I wouldn't say no, obviously, I—"

She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, soft and dry. He stilled. "I—I don't know," she said, hesitant. "I like you, Poe. But. I don't know about the—other parts. The, you know. The sleeping together thing."

Poe gave her a long look and cleared his throat. "Okay. Test run."

"What?"

"Test run. You gotta know what you're flying before you drop the credits and make the commitment, right?"

"I—I guess." Rey chewed the inside of her cheek.

"So." Poe leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "We try each other out, doesn't have to be right now since I know you've had a long day. But we try it. Just to see. No commitment, no ooey-gooey stuff."

"Doesn't that break some kind of rule?" Rey asked. "About, um, fraternization?"

"You're not technically a Resistance member," he said with a wink. "So, no."

"Oh, okay." Rey sized him up. "I don't see why we couldn't do it now. BB-8 is standing guard."

"Oh, Now?" Poe blinked at her. "Well, um, let me jump into the 'fresher. I've had a long day myself."

"Okay." Rey pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

"Don't take anything off yet," he instructed as he got up, and looked back at her, pausing. "You _sure_ you're not concussed?"

"Positive," she said with a smile. "Go shower."


	19. Tallie

As soon as the door slid shut, Rey rolled over onto her side and silently squealed into the blankets. _What am I doing??_

It wasn't like she was turned off by the idea. A small part of her said _you're doing it because you want to prove a point to Kylo Ren,_ and another part, even smaller, said _you're afraid because Poe is probably better for you than Kylo, and you don't want to know that._

"Shut up," she told herself, and flopped onto her back.

At least Kylo wasn't returning through the Force bond to shriek about trust at her. She could do without that for a few days.

Actually, she didn't even want to think about Kylo Ren. Rey turned her thoughts to Poe, to his lovely chiseled face and thick dark hair that lifted and curled over his brow, his wide smile. She was busy daydreaming about what he looked like without his clothes on when the 'fresher door slid open and Poe stepped out, hair still damp, holding a thin towel in front of his groin and wearing absolutely nothing but the chain around his neck.

Rey sat up and gaped. The curves of hard muscle in his arms gleamed in the light. He had a bit more body hair than Kylo, but the overall effect was not unpleasant. All at once she felt quite nervous. "Um. Hi," she said.

Poe inched over to the bed and sat on the edge, towel still covering him. "Hey." One hand tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Right, so do we need to have a chat about contraception?"

"I have an implant," she explained, and pointed to her leg.

"Great!" Poe inched forward a little. "I gotta tell you, I was nervous as hell in there." He chuckled and looked down.

"What?" Rey stared. "You were?"

"Sure. I want to make sure I don't, you know. Do anything that's going to scare you or hurt you or something." Poe let his hand rest on her knee. "Can I take your shirt off?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said softly, and he untied the closure and pushed her top off her shoulders, exposing her breasts and stomach to the cool air. Poe sucked at his bottom lip and let his tongue slip over it, his eyelids lowered as he looked up at her.

"Wow," he said in frank admiration, and let his hand brush across her collarbone. "You're. You're really something."

"I haven't even done anything yet," she said, blushing. "Can I—touch you?"

"Absolutely," he said, and Rey reached forward and brushed his chest, explored the soft hair there, dragged her hands down to his nipples. He shivered a little. Her hands dipped into the trail of hair leading down his belly, all the way to the towel.

She was intensely aware that under the towel, he was responding to her touch. "Can I?" she asked, and pointed at the towel.

"Sweetheart, you can do whatever the hell you want," he said, voice gone a little hoarse and low.

Rey pulled the towel off and dropped it to the side. "Oh," she said in fascination. "Yours points _up_?"

Poe burst into laughter. "Yeah, everyone's a little different."

"I'm sorry," she said, her hands resting just above it. "I don't know what this is called. I never asked."

"Oh, uh." Poe shrugged. "It's a dick. But that's kinda vulgar. _Penis_ is a little too clinical. You call it whatever you want."

"Dick," she said, and wrapped her hand around him. Her fingers just barely touched.

"Whoa, careful," he gasped, and grabbed her wrist. "Don't yank it off."

Rey raised her eyes and loosened her grip. "Sorry. I'm doing this wrong, aren’t I?"

"No, you're fine," he said with a grin, eyes still half-open. "Here." His hands reached over and pulled deftly on her trouser strings until they dropped loose around her behind, then let his hands trace over her hips.

Rey stiffened, the sensation familiar but strange, and inexplicably felt a knot in her stomach and throat. "Poe?"

"Yeah?" He hands stilled, warm on her skin.

"I'm—I'm sorry. I don't think—I—"

"Hey, it's all right," he said quickly, pulling his hands away from her skin. "We can go slower.

She caught at his hand and pressed it to her chest. "No, I mean—I don't know what's wrong with me."

Poe's brow furrowed in concentration. "Hey, you've had a long day. It's fine. We don't have to do this now. Or at all, if you don't want to."

Rey closed her eyes and shook her head. "This is embarrassing," she mumbled. "I did want—I wanted this, but my body isn't quite…falling in step. If you know what I mean."

Poe grinned. "Didn't think I was that hard on the eyes."

She snorted in spite of herself and covered her face. "No, it isn't you!"

He scooted up on the bed and lay down, the towel tossed over his crotch. "You do what you want," he told her gently. "Whatever you want. We can lay here and kiss for twenty minutes, or you can poke me in the ribs three hundred times, or we can just go to sleep. You do whatever you feel most comfortable with. I don't expect a single thing."

Rey considered his offer, then pulled her pants back up and tied them around her waist. "Okay," she whispered, and lay down beside him, one arm stretched across his warm, bare chest. They both lay there for a second, just breathing, until she pressed her mouth to his chest.

Poe made a little noise, and edged toward her. "Can I touch you?" he asked, voice a little low.

"Yeah," she said, and his hands came up, brushing her waist, gently stroking over the lines of her back. He felt warm. Secure. Safe. Rey slowly let her mouth open again on his collarbone, and he leaned his head back to give her access to his throat, which she pressed slow kisses against.

Up at his jawline, her tongue scraped stubble, and he gave a soft moan before her mouth finally found his again.

And yet, there was still no answering rush of heat from Rey's body. Nothing. It was as if a switch had been flipped.

She groaned inwardly, and broke the kiss, reaching down and stroking Poe's hair back from his forehead. "I'm sorry to leave you, um, hanging," she said.

"I can take care of that just fine in the fresher," he said gently, and smiled up at her. "You've had a rough few days."

"No, it's rude," said Rey, half curious about how exactly he would take care of it himself and still embarrassed. "There has to be something I can do."

"No, no," said Poe, a little too quickly. Rey reached out in the Force and saw Poe's mind, a clear image there of her—using her _mouth??_ —and his thoughts of _there is absolutely no way I am asking her to do anything like that, she's not—_

"Oh, hell," she said, mortified.

"Please tell me you didn't just read my mind with the Force," said Poe, equally as embarrassed.

"I would _love_ to tell you that, believe me," she said, sure she was scarlet to the ears. "Um. Is that a thing humans do?"

"Yes. Sometimes." Poe was flushed and stuttering. "I mean—" He sat up. "When the usual isn't a good option for whatever reason. It can be, um, performed on females too—"

"Oh, I know _that_ ," she assured him. "I just never thought about it being done the other way around."

"Well, now you know. Uh." Poe scrubbed a hand across his eyes. "This is not how I thought tonight was gonna go." He laughed, shaking his head. "You never fail to be full of surprises, Rey."

"Sorry," she said. "Um. Can you show me how you do it yourself?"

"Yeah," said Poe, still grinning, and drew the towel off, spreading his legs slightly open and wrapping his own hand around his dick. His eyes half-closed, he used his thumb to rub at the very tip. "Everyone's a little different in regards to, uh. What they like." He glanced over at her. "Um, try not to read my mind. What people think about when they're doing this is very private. But if you do, uh, don't bring it up. Please."

"Okay," said Rey, confused, and he let his head flop back onto the pillow, sighing deeply. She shut her own eyes, trying to block the Force from letting her into his mind. Poe's hand tightened and began to slowly move, up and down, and Rey was suddenly hit with an image of a young woman, a pretty woman in a pilot's flight suit with a scarf knotted around her neck. She was undressing. Poe was watching her undress. Poe's body was hard up against her, and the pilot was grasping at him, moaning his name.

Rey's body began to respond to the image in his mind, and she unconsciously ground her hips toward Poe.

Poe's mind changed, the image different. Rey saw Poe bent over the same woman from behind, her bare smooth back stretched out under him as he thrust into her, his hand burying itself in her hair. Rey felt the ripples of oncoming climax emanating from Poe, and shoved her own hand into her pants, gasping. In front of her, Poe was making soft, desperate noises, sweating a little, his back arching as he picked up the pace a little.

Finally, Poe's mental image shattered as he groaned and finished, thick whitish gobs of fluid spattering his belly as he came. Rey came too, the tiniest spurt of liquid gushing out of her and wetting her fingers as she came down.

Poe's breathing gradually returned to normal and he rolled his head over towards her. "You okay?" he asked, grabbing the discarded towel and wiping himself clean.

Rey flopped over onto her back and felt inexplicable tears track their way down her temples to settle, cold, in her ears.

"Hey, are you crying?" Poe dropped the towel he was using to wipe his dick clean and patted at her face, looking worried. "Rey, are you okay?"

"It felt really good," she said, her voice cracking a little. "Sorry. I don't know why I'm crying."

"Oh," he said. "I thought I traumatized you or something."

"It isn't me," she said as she realized. "It's you. I'm feeling _you_."

Poe gave her a sideways look and set the towel down. "Oh," he said heavily, and Rey, with some effort, finally blocked out his thoughts, which were coursing through the Force straight into her mind like a river.

"Sorry, your thoughts—they just leaped out at me. I'm all right now. The Force—are you sure you don't have some kind of sensitivity?"

"Positive," he said. "Deep breaths. Sorry you got slammed with, uh. All that."

"I know you said not to bring it up, but—" Rey took a deep breath and exhaled.

"Her name was Tallie," said Poe softly. "She's dead. We were never together." He got up and crossed to the fresher, his skin glowing in the dim cabin lights, and came out a second later with his sleep pants on. "Let's get some rest," he suggested, and slid under the covers as she joined him underneath.

"Mmph," she said, and curled up close to him, head snug in the crook of his arm and shoulder. "You're warm."

"Nine hours to Coruscant," he said, and yawned. "See you in the morning."

She wanted to make a joke about how there was no morning in space, but sleep crept up on her faster that she expected, and soon she was drifting in a vast, soft black sea.


	20. The Graveyard

Rey opened her eyes to find herself alone in bed, still naked, with her clothes folded neatly on the foot of the bunk. She sat up, rubbing her eye, and eased out of bed, getting dressed and shoving the fold-out bunk back into place.

She pressed her hand to the door lock and it slid open, BB-8 turning and burbling at her excitedly.

"What?" she asked. "Poe told you to stay here till I got up? That was nice of him."

The little droid beeped in agreement and bobbed around.

"We're entering Coruscant, huh?" Rey tied her hair back and followed it down the corridor and into the main seating lounge. Finn and Rose were sitting very close together, holding hands, deeply in conversation.

"Oh," muttered Rey awkwardly, and turned around.

"Rey!" Rose said, and stood up. "How did you sleep? Are you feeling better?"

"I didn't mean to interrupt—" Rey said, and let Rose drag her over to the table.

"You're fine," said Finn with a grin. "Poe came stumbling out of there two hours ago looking like he'd been hit by a train. No secrets on this ship, huh?"

"Oh, kriff," said Rey, blushing. "That—it was—"

Rose smiled at her. "It's okay. You're not technically fraternizing. Neither am I, with Finn." She stole a glance at Finn, who looked away, grinning.

"Oh!" said Rey. "You're—you. That's great! I mean." She stumbled a bit on her words. "I'm happy for you both," she managed, and hugged Rose. "You better keep him out of trouble."

"I plan on it," she said, laughing. "I think Poe was up in the cockpit with Chewbacca, you might want to get debriefed."

"Oh, yes. Thanks." Rey hugged Finn, and stood up. "BB-8, wait!"

~

Poe and Chewie were piloting the Falcon. Rey slipped in and coughed. "Morning," she said, and Chewbacca let out a series of noises that she translated as, _You had to leave me with a guy who doesn't speak Wookie, didn't you?_

"Sorry," she said with a grin. "I can translate now. Is that—" She gaped at the planet filling the field of vision outside the cockpit transparisteel. "Coruscant?"

"The one and only," said Poe with a smile.

Rey had never imagined a planet like this. They were approaching just between the light and dark side of the planet, in the band of early dawn. On the left, the night side of the planet was black, shot through with golden and amber lights that glowed and twinkled. On the right, the surface was a dull gray.

"It really is all one big city," she marveled.

"Yep. Not great for the environment, but they have satellites in orbit that regulate weather, so I guess that part is fine." Poe turned his head. "We're going to the Upper Levels. Class stratification is weird here. The lower levels, street surface and under the city, is inhabited by a lot of—well, you might say criminals, or you might say the lowest social standing, depending on your point of view. Higher levels are wealthier classes." He turned and pointed as they entered the atmosphere. "It's entirely normal for high-class Coruscanti to go their whole lives without setting foot on the ground of the planet at all."

"That sounds awful," said Rey.

Poe chuckled. "In a way."

They glided down as Poe keyed in coordinates, coming to rest on a wide landing pad. Poe turned to Rey. "Going over the whole political situation would be a pain in the behind, so I'll just say this. They're thinking about moving the Senate back here since Hosnian Prime was destroyed by the First Order. They were doing a rotating basis for the past decade or so, but people think having it back on Coruscant will be more…permanent, stable. You know."

"Is that good for us?" Rey followed him down the corridor as he and Chewie walked to the gangplank.

"Possibly. We might get more funding, but then we might end up becoming the New Republic Army, which might compromise some of our ideals. We'll just have to see how it goes, figure out where we'll compromise and where we won't." Poe hit the latch and the gangplank opened, revealing a soft, dawn haze of light outside on the pad.

Rey followed him down, Finn and Rose close behind, and blinked in the light, staring at a middle aged man in blue and silver robes who greeted them.

"General Dameron, we are most delighted to hear you have returned," he said warmly, and she didn't sense an ounce of dishonesty in his words. "We heard from our Naboo friends that there was an altercation of some sort in the Lake Country."

"Yes. Chancellor Valyeno, may I present Rey, the last Jedi that Master Luke Skywalker ever trained." Poe indicated Rey, who stared at the Chancellor, not knowing what to do or say.

He smiled at her and nodded his head. "A great honor, young Jedi. You must have had a long journey here. Galactic City welcomes you with open arms."

"Thank you," she said with some relief. It was much colder here than it had been on Naboo. She fought the urge to shiver.

"In your absence we have voted and declared the planet a non-combat zone," the Chancellor told Poe, walking with him toward a waiting craft that looked big enough to hold all of them, plus all their luggage and then some. "We have made it quite clear that any First Order representatives coming to seek out credits or alliances must leave their troops and weapons behind."

"Which means you likely want us to leave our weapons behind," said Poe, eyes narrowed. "Correct?"

"Ah, General, you catch on quickly." Chancellor Valyeno spread his hands apologetically. "It would not seem fair if we allowed you onto the planet as a military force."

"I can't leave my lightsaber," said Rey quickly. "It is the life of a Jedi."

Valyeno glanced back at her, looking torn. "It is a weapon."

She stopped in her tracks and shook her head. "I will _not_ leave it behind. I will not set foot on a planet that bars me from carrying my lightsaber." An idea popped into her head. "Perhaps the Senate could be persuaded to vote and declare lightsabers rare antiques, and not weapons. I only know of one other person in the galaxy who has one."

The Chancellor smiled. "I will extend you a permit to carry it as a rare exception until I can bring it to the attention of the Senate." He turned back to Poe. "As you can see, public opinion is swayed towards your cause. There's even talk of…"

Rey fell behind and whispered to Finn, "Permit?"

He rolled his eyes. "Bureaucracy, am I right?"

"I'm not sure I like this planet," she said. "The Chancellor seems all right, though."

Rose piped up. "We're sort of being treated like fancy guests. Dinners, nights at the opera, you name it. They're parading us around so we can talk to rich people and get money."

"What's opera?" asked Rey blankly as they piled into the bus waiting for them. The seats were plush velvet, and she traced a line in the pile, watching the colors change.

Finn grinned. "You get dressed up, you go to a big building and listen to people sing for two hours. It's fun. And they have food and drinks."

Rose rolled her eyes. "It is _not_ fun," she informed him. "If I have to sit through _The Chandrilan Consort_ one more time, I'm going to throw something."

Rey snorted and glanced toward the front, where Poe and the Chancellor (and three of the Chancellor's aides) were in deep conversation. "Where are we staying?" she asked.

"We have quarters set aside for us in 500 Republica," said Finn. "In case you didn't know, that's _the_ most exclusive address on the planet. It's huge. Their security is the size of a small army. I have no idea how the Chancellor pulled those strings and got us the rooms."

"At least it will be comfortable," said Rey, and slumped against the transparisteel, gazing down at the millions of lights below them and the air traffic, proceeding in orderly lines, layer on layer.

~

They landed at their destination and Rey disembarked, staring in amazement at the building she was about to enter. "How many floors does this have?" she demanded.

"Over a thousand," said Rose. "Big waste of money if you ask me," she added under her breath.

"At least it isn't Canto Bight." Finn threw his arm around her shoulder. "Cheer up."

She stuck her tongue out at him, and Rey hurried to join Poe and the Chancellor, catching up just as the transparisteel doors slid open and they entered a cool lobby decorated in electrum and azurite. Rey gaped, then remembered to close her mouth and look stoic like a good Jedi.

"Welcome home," said a soft-voiced, silver-plated protocol droid. "May I be of assistance?"

Poe smiled at the silver-plated droid. "Hot caf, please. Can you get a pitcher and cups for us delivered up to the suites on 990?"

"Yes, sir," said the droid, and shuffled through a door.

"Here is where I leave you," said Valyeno. "Please, rest and relax. I expect to see you at tonight's scheduled event."

Rey bowed stiffly from the waist. "May the Force be with you," she said to him.

He blinked and smiled, bowing back. "And with you, Master Jedi," he said, then headed back out, sneaking slightly awed looks at her as he left.

"I _told_ you that works like a charm," said Finn to Rose, who snorted and punched him in the shoulder.

"All right, let's go up," said Poe, and all of them crowded into the turbolift: Chewbacca, Poe, Rey, Finn, Rose, and BB-8. It was fortunate that the lift was almost the size of the main hold on the Falcon. Rey stared out the completely transparent wall, overlooking the city, and felt rather sick. She had never been afraid of heights, but this was dizzying in a way she didn't care for.

"Turn around and face the doors," said Poe helpfully as he slid his pass into a slot in the instrument panel, and she did, taking a few deep breaths.

They finally opened and Rey stepped into the penthouse suite reserved for them, staring around in amazement. The entire lobby was bigger than the dining room on Varykino. Everything was understated and elegant, smooth and rich and luxurious. She let her hand brush the leather chairs as she followed Poe for the tour of the place, and closed her eyes, feeling the buttery soft texture.

"So here is the living area," he said, indicating a massive room with four deep, soft, curved couches and deep blue carpet. A HoloNet screen occupied one wall, a perky newscaster with green hair bubbling on about the traffic in the Temple Sector. Two low tables carved of a dark reddish wood stood in front of two of the sofas. Chewie had already apparently chosen his sleeping area, as evidenced by the hair all over one of the sofas and the bag of tinkering resting up against it.

"Bedroom suites branch off from here," said Poe, pointing to four small hallways, lit by soft yellow lamps recessed in the walls. "Rey and I are on the west side, Rose and Finn are, ah, sharing a room on the east side, and the other east side bedroom will be occupied by Lieutenant Connix when she gets back from her outing with the Malastare senators."

"Where's everyone else?" asked Rey.

"Floors below. We're all secure in the building, Artoo and BB-8 ran several diagnostics." Poe shucked off his leather jacket and tossed it onto the hideously expensive couch. "Did that caf ever make it up here, I wonder?"

Rey sniffed. "Is there a kitchen?"

Poe clapped his hand to his head. "Yes, I forgot to show you that. Rose, Finn, you go get relaxed for tonight. Rey, you and I are going to throw back some caf and try to get a nap."

"Yes, sir," she said, saluting.

Chewie rolled his eyes and barked something like, _Sure, a nap,_ and Rey shot him a dirty look.

"Oh, be quiet. You think you're hilarious."

He chortled out a yipping laugh and headed into the living room as Poe and Rey went straight back to the lobby and through the door on the other side, which led to the kitchen and dining areas.

The kitchen was enormous, sparkling, and full of tech Rey had never seen before, but most importantly, a silver carafe of caf stood waiting for them in the center of the stone-topped kitchen island. Poe grabbed it and two cups, then headed into the dining area and sat in one of the ivory-colored, spindly chairs, offering Rey a seat.

"This is delicious," she said, sipping the caf. It had a deeper, richer flavor to it than most of the other stuff she'd drunk before.

"It's straight from Corellia," Poe said, inhaling the fragrance before sipping deeply. "So. We have the whole day to relax until tonight, when the Chancellor's aides will come fetch us and escort us to the ballet."

"Whats a ballet?" asked Rey.

"Dancing. But on a stage. You go dress up nice and sit in a chair for a few hours with a food break." Poe stretched. "I think tonight's is a classic Coruscanti, so you should like it. The costumes are fun to look at if nothing else."

Rey drank more caf. "Would it be okay if I went and—if we went and saw Leia?" Her voice cracked a little. "I never said goodbye. Not properly."

Poe set his cup down and took her hand. "Of course it would," he said gently. "I can fly you out to the Temple District right now and take you there. Go grab a jacket from the closet and meet me in the lobby in five."

Rey squeezed his hand and left her empty cup on the table, dashing back through the lobby and into the bedroom Poe had said was hers. She found a pull-over, warm grey coat with a hood and belted it tight around her waist, hoping it would serve to keep out the chill of the morning.

She met Poe back in the lobby. He had thrown his jacket back on as well. They left via the same turbolift, then re-entered the first lobby. Poe presented his access card to the protocol droid, which handed him a keycard.

"Please don't forget to turn your card back in when finished, and enjoy your excursion," it said.

Poe kissed the card. "With a SoruSuub Coupe, how could I not? C'mon, Rey."

They walked out to the other side of the lobby, where the doors slid open, revealing a row of gleaming black and chrome speeders. Poe checked his card and walked down the row until he found what he was looking for, a sleek dark speeder with a seat for the pilot and a seat for a passenger beside it, complete with transparisteel windscreen and twin engines rising behind the seats.

"That's our ride?" said Rey in astonishment.

"Hop in," Poe said with a grin. They climbed inside and secured their harnesses before he activated the engine with the card and pulled away from the landing pad. "Hoo, this thing's got a kick," he said, experimenting with the controls as they dropped a few levels and kicked up into gear, speeding around the spire of 500 Republica before jetting off toward the Temple District. Rey stared out the window, drinking in the sights of the city with wide eyes.

"That's the Temple," she said suddenly, as certain of it as if she'd been born there. A massive ziggurat loomed in the distance, gray-pale stone gleaming in the morning light.

Poe glanced over at her. "Yes, it is," he said. "Used to be the Imperial Palace, and after Palpatine was ousted it fell into a disrepair. There's talk of making it a Galactic Heritage site, but most of it is off-limits right now. Except for the outer areas and the garden, which is where—"

"Where Leia is," said Rey quietly.

"There was a tree that grew there once," said Poe, bringing them in for a soft landing on a pad. "A tree sensitive to the Force. My mother had one of the only two twigs from the tree. Luke Skywalker gave it to her. It grew into a tree, outside my home on Yavin 4 when I was a kid." He smiled. "Once I accidentally burned the side of the trunk and my dad made me spend the whole summer taking care of that tree."

"There was a tree on Ahch-To that was like that," said Rey thoughtfully.

Poe landed the speeder and turned it off. "All right. Walk carefully. This place is very old."

Rey got out and stared at the massive walls, her eyes watering with the cool wind. "You know, I thought a giant city would be warmer."

"Not when the atmosphere is so thin up here. Plus, it's winter." Poe indicated the path with a nod of his head. "In here."

Rey followed him, chin tucked into her hood. They passed down a huge avenue full of pillars with broken tops, possibly once statues, she thought. The wide entrance doors were blocked with tattered red tape, blocked off. Poe took a right at the doors and led her up a flight of stairs and then back down, into what had been a terraced garden once. Now, it was dry and half-dead, some attempts at re-cultivating the plants growing there spotted here and there in blotches of green and blue and white.

Under a column in the middle of the garden stood a curved coffin, a transparisteel covering protecting the contents from the weather. A few people were already standing there, and they looked towards Rey and Poe, backing up as the pair of them advanced upon the coffin.

Rey looked down. Leia lay there, her gray hair combed into a perfect coif, whirls and braids and loops. She was dressed in white, her hands folded at her waist, a deep blue cloak covering her shoulders and going down to her feet. Rey felt tears gather in her eyes that had nothing to do with the whipping wind and pressed her palm to the glass.

"It's me, Rey," she whispered. "I'm sorry. It was—it was all so fast. I'm sorry I left you." Tears began to fall, quick and fast and messy. She sniffed. "I tried to help K—Ben. I tried. But you—you were right. You were right, he's gone. Luke was wrong."

Poe wrapped his arm around her shoulders and said nothing. A few of the people who had come to mourn gave them space, murmuring among themselves. One tall figure in a long, dark gray cloak stepped away entirely, leaving the garden.

"I wish I could ask you more," Rey whispered. "You, and Luke, and Han. All of you. I'm sorry."

Poe squeezed her sideways. "If she was here she'd probably roll her eyes and say, 'What are you sorry for? Go start making things right!'"

Rey laughed through her tears. "You're probably right."

"Tell you what." Poe looked down at Leia one last time and turned to Rey. "We go back to the apartment, we sleep until afternoon; we wake up, pound some caf, and get dressed for tonight."

"And start making things right," Rey said, wiping her eyes.

"And start making things right," he agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big shout out to Sarah R, from the RCC, who flipped when she found out that a fellow member was secretly the author of (her words) "one of my favorite fics" (Water and Unsettled Dust) and who's been following this one on the down-low. Here's to all-caps Facebook messages about destiny and emotion. <3


	21. BU-T6

Rey, fresh out of the shower, stared at herself in the mirror in her gigantic, borrowed bedroom and thought; _I have made an enormous mistake._

Twenty different evening gowns in various fashions were tossed across her bed, the matching accessories and shoes strewn on the floor. She was in nothing but her basics, there was only an hour until they had to depart for the ballet, and she was almost certain she was about to panic.

"I can't do this," she said to her reflection.

A soft knock on the door alerted her, and she sensed Poe. "Come in," she called out, hoping she didn't sound as awful as she felt.

Poe slipped in, looking extremely crisp in what she supposed was a version of mess dress, but far more modern than anything she'd ever seen him wear. She barely looked at it.

"I have no idea what to wear," she confessed, slumping down on the bed. "I'm afraid to touch any of this."

"I brought you some help," he told her, and a droid wheeled in behind him, a model she'd never seen before. It was all smooth curves and swooping lines, humanoid and almost as tall as Rey, but more stylized than Threepio. It had two arms with long, smooth-tipped fingers, and made a quick little movement.

"I am BU-T6, your personalized stylist droid," it said in a soothing, even voice. "I am programmed with over one million of the most up-to-date fashion plates on five main systems. I am also versed in the etiquette of twenty thousand species."

Rey stared. "Oh, no," she said, feeling bleak.

"Hey, don't panic," Poe said. "Beauty-Six, this is Rey, the Jedi guest. Rey is from the Outer Rim and wants something nice, simple and comfortable to wear to the ballet tonight."

The droid bobbed her little head (it was impossible to think of it as anything but a _she_ ) and flashed its optics at Rey. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance," she said. "Do you have a color preference?"

"Um." Rey glanced at the bed. "Well. I grew up wearing mostly…dirt colors. I recently tried out blue and brown. I'm not really sure if I have a preference."

BU-T6 swiveled around and focused on her briefly, then scanned the clothes. "Color is an important choice," she intoned. "It sends a message. Perhaps this?" Her long fingers drew out a deep blue velvet gown, plain but rich, with slim-fitting sleeves.

"You two have fun," said Poe with a wink, and made his exit.

Rey extended her hand. "All right. I'll try it."

The gown was a little too long. Rey took it off and threw it back on the bed. "It's too plain, too," she said. "I don't want something that, you know, looks like what a Jedi would wear. All those robes and stuff. I want to look nice. But not too over-the-top."

BU-T6 considered this, her processors whirring, then wheeled over to the closet, beeping to herself. "Statistically, the color red would be the most likely to stand out," she informed Rey. "It is the most visible color in the spectrum to the most species." She selected a mass of red, shining fabric, and brought it over to Rey. "This will do well," she said. "And to go over it…" She wheeled back into the closet as Rey wiggled her way into the dress, which was quite top-heavy.

Rey turned and looked into the mirror and gaped in astonishment. The dress was—it fit her snugly, but not tightly, and flowed down to the floor in ripples of crimson satin after sweeping about her hips and waist. The neckline was fitted to her throat, the sleeves were small and short, draping in crisp U-shaped pleats over her shoulders, and the entirety of the shoulders and the front of the dress in a narrow V between her breasts were encrusted in heavy, elaborate beadwork.

BU-T6 popped back out of the closet with a heavy, dark cloak and did a little circular roll of excitement. "Oh, lovely!" She tossed the cloak on the bed and rolled up to Rey. "And _now_ for your hair and face."

~

An hour later, Rey had been polished, creamed, poked, pulled, and prodded into what Beauty-Six called "perfection".

First, the droid had patted and painted on a sweet-smelling, skin-colored cream to "even out the complexion". Red powder decorated the sides of her head by her eyes ("it's all the rage in the upper levels!"), black slick gel outlined her eyes and coated her eyelashes, made them seem twice as large ("an evening classic for the past five hundred years, can't go wrong") and a stain of pinkish liquid had been applied to her lips in a soft gradient ("if you go striking with the lips, go easy on the eyes, don't do both bold").

Her hair had been finely combed and teased and sectioned and sprayed into an elegant, looser version of her favorite triple-bun hairstyle, something called a "chignon", according to the droid, and Rey had to admit she liked it—just not so much the fact that it had taken half an hour to perfect.

"And now," said Beauty-Six, extending a pair of the worst-looking shoes Rey had ever imagined could exist.

"Absolutely not," said Rey, horrified. The heel was as thin as a stick of wood, rising four inches above the ground. "I'll break my ankle."

"You can learn to walk in them very quickly," said the droid, reassuring.

"Do you have anything lower?" Rey asked desperately. "Like…flat?"

"Flat?" The droid flashed its optics at her again, in an expression she now realized was meant to be blinking.

Rey walked over to the bed, rustling as she moved, and picked up a pair of dark blue velvet slippers. "There will do," she said.

"They do not match the gown, my lady," said Beauty-Six, sounding almost offended.

"They match the cloak." Rey pointed.

"You won't be wearing the cloak all night."

"Nobody can see under my dress, it's so long." Rey bent and slipped the shoes on, then arranged her skirt. "See?"

The droid let out a huff of static. "Well, if you must. Now the jewelry." She whirred over and selected a bracelet and a pair of earrings, then handed them to Rey. They were lovely, electrum suspensas with an elegant little drop on the end of pure metal. The bracelet was the same metal, a smooth cuff.

Rey slid the cuff on. "I don't have ear, um, holes," she said awkwardly, looking at the little post and cap.

"I can fix that," said the droid; and extended a finger, which uncapped and retracted to reveal a long piercing needle.

"NO," said Rey, quite alarmed, and that was when Poe walked back in.

"How are we doing?" he asked. "Oh, uh." He'd seen the droid. "Beauty-Six, put that away. We can attach them to her ears with the little screw and stub."

Rey shot an indignant look at the droid. "They can stick on without you stabbing me and the first thing you go for is the needle? Who in hell programmed you?"

"Very well, Master Dameron," said Beauty-Six, delicately ignoring Rey, before replacing her needle-finger with the cap again. Poe crossed the room and picked up the attachments, turning to Rey.

"All right, I'll swap those out," he said. "They're magnetic." He popped off the post and stud, then replaced it with the screw and blunt stub. "You ever put these on before?"

"No," she said truthfully.

"All right, I'll do it." He peered down at her ear and held the earring in place, then began to screw the little post down to the lobe, his fingers brushing her neck as he went. "You look very nice," he said softly, just into her ear.

"Thanks," she said. "I like the hair."

"It all looks good. You're going to knock the socks off some of these people." He finished her right ear and went to the left, repeating. "Don't forget, look calm and poised, and don't get into a brawl."

"I'm not going to get into a brawl," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Kylo Ren's big old sniffer says differently," he whispered, and she flushed. "You haven't seen him around, have you?"

"No, which is a bit of a relief. Maybe the Force got the message." Rey turned and let him drape her dark navy cloak and hood over her shoulders.

"Oh, and you need a belt," said Poe. "You're bringing the lightsaber. Your permit arrived." He handed her a small datacard, which projected an image of the Chancellor's official signature and a lot of legalese about her lightsaber. She squinted, trying to read it as Poe found a decently fashionable belt with a hook attachment that was wide enough to flatter the shape of the dress. He finally found a red silk one (much to Beauty-Six's dismay—"it interrupts the silhouette! The flow!") and Rey secured it around her waist snugly, hanging her saber from it.

"Great," said Poe, studying her. "All right, let's get out of here. The Airbus is waiting."

"Thank you, Beauty-6," said Rey. "I like it a lot."

The droid circled around. "Have a nice night," she sang out, already busying herself with tidying the bedroom.

"As long as no one tries to stab me, it should be great," muttered Rey, and walked out, Poe at her elbow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration for Rey's evening gown: https://i.pinimg.com/564x/8e/8d/40/8e8d407e5b9a322c872d9b5df348a4af.jpg


	22. Act One

Poe escorted Rey out to the lobby, where Finn and Rose were waiting. "Where are Chewie and the droids?" asked Rey.

"Droids are being refitted and cleaned, Chewie hates ballet." Finn glanced over at Rose. "Or at least that's what we thought he said."

Rey looked them both over. "You two look…" She gave up. "Rose, that's a nice uniform."

"Oh, thank you!" She smoothed down the tunic. "I'm just excited to get to wear a real dress uniform more than once a year." Rey glanced between her and Poe and finally took a good look at the uniforms. Poe's was a brownish green, a double-breasted, sleek tunic of finely woven gabarwool with a brown leather belt that disappeared inside the left tunic flap. His rank had been polished and was gleaming on his left shoulder. His trousers were brown, also gabarwool, and his brown formal boots gleamed, hardly ever worn.

Rose's uniform was tailored perfectly, nearly identical to Poe's besides the rank on her chest. Her hair was combed back into a neat bun at the base of her neck, and Rey envied her both the comfort and the fact that she was wearing almost no cosmetics.

"It looks good," she told her with a smile.

Finn, dressed in a smart, shining black suit with a wide black cloth belt about the waist, extended his elbow. "Shall we?" he asked pompously.

"We shall," said Rose, and took his elbow. Poe extended his arm to Rey, which she was grateful for. She felt like her nerves were all going to stop working at once.

Out on the landing pad, the bus waited with a coalition of aides waiting for them. Rey barely listened to a word they said as they peered and oohed and aahed at all four of them and ushered them onto the waiting craft. It was too cold to hear anything.

She began to perk up when someone handed her a hot drink, and sipped at it. It was sweet and hot and went right down into her toes. "Thank you," she said to the aide, who beamed and retreated as they began to lift off.

"That’s a Malastare Toddy," said Poe, nudging her. "Don't drink too many. They're pretty strong."

"I've had alcohol before," she told him as they swept over the billions of lights below. "Just. Not like this."

"Well, this isn't desert hooch, so you better pace yourself," he said, and grinned at her.

They approached a massive, squat, circular building in the Entertainment District and glided in for the landing, spotlights shining up into the night sky. Rey set her empty cup down and stood up as they landed, grateful for the flat slippers.

They all walked out onto the flat platform, and Rey shied behind Finn automatically as about a hundred reporters all started snapping holocams and shouting questions. Several of the Chancellor's aides moved toward the crowd of reporters, fielding questions as if they did it every day.

Which, Rey realized, was probably exactly what they did every day.

Poe took her arm and gently pulled her out. "Chin up, look cool," he whispered. "These photos are going to be all over the galaxy in ten minutes."

"That's not helping," she whispered, her stomach coiling into a hard knot.

"Look at the roof," he suggested, and tucked her hand into his arm. "Just keep looking ahead."

"Is that the Jedi?" yelled a reporter, and every head swiveled towards Rey.

"Kark me," she said between her teeth as she smiled for the holos.

They converged. "Rey! Rey, is it true that you killed the Supreme Leader of the First Order? Do you have any comment on the current situation with the Ilum Mining Corporation? Is there anything you'd like to say to—"

Poe stepped in front of Rey before she could pour out a blistering retort and smiled. "We're all very pleased to be here in beautiful Galactic City—even if it is a little chilly," he said, mock shivering. The crowd laughed. "But now we are going to go inside and enjoy the ballet, and I hope you all stay warm."

Rey swallowed and tried to maintain calm. One reporter lunged forward, his antennae squiggling in excitement. "Is it true? Are you the last Jedi?" Every eye and optical sensor aimed toward Rey.

Poe glanced over, unable to intervene. Rey looked at Poe, then slowly drew aside her robe, revealing the lightsaber hanging at her belt.

All the holocameras in the vicinity went off, whirring and flashing, and Rey didn't blink. "This lightsaber belonged to Anakin Skywalker," she said. "And then it belonged to his son, Luke. It was broken in the battle of the _Supremacy._ I have rebuilt it, and now it belongs to me." She paused and looked directly into the holocams. "There are millions of people in the universe who feel the Force surrounding them. Young. Old. Every species you can imagine. Every class." Rey dropped her cloak, concealing the saber hilt. "No. I won't be the last Jedi."

There was silence for about five seconds, and then everyone exploded. Questions, shouting, excited cheering, confused voices. Poe took her elbow and smiled until they were inside, in the much quieter entry arena and then turned to Rey. "Where did _that_ come from?"

"I—I don't know. I just gave them the answer they wanted." Rey stared at him. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, you were brilliant." Poe grinned. "You stayed ambiguous about what you can do, who you are, and what you came here to do. You fed them a great little soundbite about the Force that will be played on the news for days. You did great."

Rey turned pink with pride. "Oh. Thanks." A silver protocol droid came and asked her if she'd like her cloak taken, and she let it slip the heavy thing off her shoulders. It was quite warm and close in the room, and she was glad of the relief.

She didn't miss the sideways stares at her as she turned and thanked the droid. It produced a small holo-slip, which she tucked into her belt. "Please present this to any droid when you wish to retrieve your cloak," it said politely, and retreated into a storage closet.

"Why are people staring?" she said to Rose out of the corner of her mouth.

"I don't know if you noticed," said Rose, "but you kinda stick out like a sore thumb."

Rey looked from side to side and saw most of the other attendees were in black, white, grey, and the drab colors of military uniforms. Many people were in glittering gowns, mirror-plated fabrics, and richly embroidered robes, but none of them wore any singular bright color from head to toe.

"I look like an idiot," Rey said, heart dropping.

Poe shook his head. "You look like a candle flame in a room full of kaleidoscopic nightmare fuel," he said. "Let's hope a nice moth comes by."

~

They were seated in one of the best boxes, high above the stage. Kaydel was waiting for them already, in her best uniform. "Hey," she whispered as they filed in and seated themselves. "You're almost late."

"Where's everyone else?" asked Finn.

"Recruiting," whispered Kaydel. "Shh. Nice outfit."

"Thanks," he whispered back, and they all sat back in their seats as the house lights dimmed and the crowd went quiet.

Rey watched, holding her program, as a human dancer stepped out onto the stage and stood up on her toes, bending gracefully and waving her arms. Her costume was a white fluff of light fabrics, glittering in the spotlight pointed at her.

"It's _Koré and Jedda_ ," Poe whispered. "Really old story, a Coruscanti classic. Koré's a princess."

Rey leaned forward, enthralled as the dancer completed several leaps and jumps, legs fully extended, flinging her arms wide as a shower of white petals fell on the stage from high above, whipping around her and turning pink. Several more dancers of various species in pale pink costumes leapt onto the stage, dancing and twirling around her. The routine continued for a long time.

"Her handmaidens," said Rey quietly, catching on. She scanned her program, which was glowing red for dark reading. 

"It's a classic," explained Poe. "Koré is warned against going to a mountain, but goes anyway because she wants to gather the flowers that grow in the mouth of a cave."

Indeed, on stage the princess was bending, leaping, low to the ground, gathering enormous colorful blossoms in her arms and twirling around in front of the holo set piece designed to look like a cave.

Suddenly, the music became deep, dangerous, dark and exciting. Rey pressed her hands in her lap as thick gray smoke billowed from the "cave" and the handmaidens fled in fear on their toes, fabric streaming behind them as they ran.

Out of the cave and smoke stepped a man, tall and cloaked in glittering black, with a horned mask on. His cloak was short enough to show off his footwork as he danced towards the princess, who tried to flee, round and round the stage in an elaborate chase.

"That's Jedda," said Poe under his breath. "He's the dark lord of the mountain, a mysterious being with magic powers. He sees the princess and is captivated by her beauty."

"I guess that's one word for it," she whispered back.

On the stage, the music was reaching a heightened crescendo. Another spin, a twirl, a dart, a dash—and ah-ha! The dark lord had caught hold of the beautiful princess, lifting her by the waist high over his head and spinning as she bent almost in half backwards with her toes exquisitely pointed. Rey clasped her hands together, afraid he would drop her—but of course he didn't, and with one last longing look, the princess extended her arms out in a plea for help—the dark lord disappeared into the cave and the smoke with her, and all the lights went out.

Applause began, and Rey clapped along with the vast audience. "Now for Act Two," said Poe.

A hero named Saro was introduced, dressed in all blue and gold. He vowed to all the handmaidens from the first act, and to Koré's heretofore unintroduced parents, a king and queen, that he would save Koré from the Lord in the Mountain.

Rey watched as several more dancers emerged from the scenery, all dressed in ragged drab colors and masks that suggested they were supposed to be scary creatures or animals of some sort. Saro, the mighty hero, wielded his sword (a light piece of wood painted to look like the prehistoric weapon) and after a long sequence of dance-fighting during which Rey began to get hungry, defeated them all and arrived at the mouth of the cave.

The music swelled, lingered, and died as the curtain fell and the lights came back up to applause from the audience.

"That can't be it," said Rey. "What about the princess?"

"It's intermission," said Finn with a smile. "Now we go get something to eat, come back later and watch the rest. I could hear your stomach growling all through the part where Saro went up the mountain."

Rey, lured by the promise of food, accepted his hand and followed him to the wide lobby doors, briefly leaving behind the world of mystery on the stage below.


	23. Intermission

Rey followed them out into the lobby, where many other theatergoers had congregated around several bars and catering stations. The smell of food filled the air, along with pleasant soft chatter.

"All right, team. Time to mill around, and don't look too obvious." Poe nodded at Finn and Rose. "I'll take Rey over to grab something to eat, you two go off and stick with Lieutenant Connix."

"Yes, sir," said Rose, and the three of them disappeared into the crowd.

"All right," said Poe, rubbing his hands together. "Food."

The food was incredible. Stuffed pastries shaped like flowers and full of meat that melted in Rey's mouth, a tureen of orange soup, fruit carved into shapes and skewered on silver sticks, mushroom caps imported from Felucia and stuffed with cheese and vegetable mash, and the list went on and on. She and Poe found an empty table and stood at it for a good five minutes, sampling everything they could reach.

At intervals, some gaudily-costumed person would approach with their entourage, and Poe would introduce Rey, who would smile, say a few bland things about the weather and the food, and finish with a "May-the-force-be-with-you," which without fail, left their new acquaintances wide-eyed and smiling as they moved away.

"I'm going to find a fresher," said Poe after his seventh stuffed mushroom, handing his plate to a butler droid. "You sit at the bar and don't get into any trouble without me. Here's a few credits. Don't run me up a tab." He handed her a card and grinned before disappearing in search of the bathroom.

Rey sidled over to the bar, feeling at once adventurous and somewhat nervous. The wide bar curved around the inside of the lobby, polished and gleaming to perfection. _No spilled drinks here,_ she thought.

"I'll have a, um. Malastare Toddy," she said politely.

"Mallow on top?" asked the bartender, a precise-looking fellow with a waxed moustache and beard.

"Yes, please," she said, not having the faintest idea what mallow was, but not wanting to ask.

"You're the Jedi!" gasped a human woman whose bright orange hair had been teased and rolled into a pile of sculpted tubes on her head, sitting two people away on her left. "Sheendra! Look! The Jedi!"

Rey smiled as the bartender took her credit. "Indeed I am," she said, trying to sound vague and mysterious.

"Where _ever_ did you get that dress?" asked Sheendra, a blue-skinned Twi-lek in a sheer white and blue gown.

"Oh, it was a gift," said Rey, warming up slightly. The bartender placed her toddy on the counter and she looked down at the white pile of fluff floating atop the dark brown drink. "Pardon me," she said to Sheendra and Roll Hair Lady, sipping her toddy deeply.

It was delicious. Hot and sweet, like a summer day. "Are you enjoying the ballet?" asked Roll Hair Lady.

"I am, very much." Rey set the empty cup down and gave her a warm smile. "I've never been to any kind of theatrical production before."

"Never?" Sheendra giggled. "We would just _die_ without it, wouldn't we, Amma? It's so much fun. And you meet the most interesting people."

"Hey there, sweetheart," said a gruff voice off to Rey's right. She turned her head and came face to face with an overly oily, over-waxed and over-polished human man. He was handsome in a smug sort of way that suggested he was used to getting what he wanted, wearing a white dinner coat with a red scarf around his neck, and jet black trousers. "Buy you a drink," he said, and it was a sentence, not a question.

"No, thank you," said Rey politely.

He stared at her. "I said, buy you a drink."

"And I said _no thank you_ ," said Rey, less politely. She wished she had her staff handy. A good knock in the face was just what this one needed.

"What's the big idea?" he demanded. "Do you know who I am?"

Sheendra stood up. "Do you know who _she_ is?" she said. "She's a Jedi. I wouldn't tick her boxes if I were you, Yriddick."

Yriddick glared at Rey. "Jedi, my ass," he growled, and slammed his hand on the counter.

"Don't talk to her that way," snapped Amma, also standing up. "She's new here."

"I make millions," he barked. "I'm a kriffing shipping magnate. I'll buy whoever I want to a drink if I want."

Rey swiveled her head and stared at him. "You can buy me whatever you want," she snapped. "You can't make me take it."

Sheendra chuckled. "Millions. Did you hear him? Millions. That's cuter than a baby Ewok. Get lost, Yriddick."

He stood up, purple in the face, and suddenly took a swing at Sheendra's face. Amma shrieked, which turned heads all the way around the bar.

His punch was stopped, invisibly, mid-motion. Rey was glaring at him, the Force singing through her whole body. Yriddick twitched, jerked, and tried to move, but couldn't. He was stuck, one fist out. "Let me go!" he demanded. "Let me—what are you doing?"

Rey stood. "This," she said evenly, and with a twitch of her hand he was pushed, staggering, away from the bar.

He gathered himself up and rushed her, spitting and shouting, and was slammed back so hard by the Force he flew ten feet across the room and landed directly on someone's table, knocking it over and spilling orange soup all over his tacky white suit. Rey let her arm down and turned her back to him, sliding onto her seat again.

"And don't come back!" Sheendra declared, her lekku twitching in excitement. "Well done! I knew there was something about you we liked."

Rey smiled. "I hope I don't get thrown out," she said, somewhat nervous.

"Oh, gracious, no," said Amma, sitting back down at the bar. "A Tatooine Sunrise, please—no, Yriddick is always in here trying to schmooze up to people. He's…rather new money, and a terrible gambler." She exchanged a glance with Sheendra. "He tried to threaten Sheendra last season and was banned from the building for the rest of it, but I suppose he just keeps getting back in." She shook her head. "Can you imagine? The sheer…vulgarity of it. Not to say, of course, common people don't have manners, dear-yours are lovely, but money cannot, _cannot_ buy class. You wouldn't dream of marching up to a bar and trying to flirt with someone's wife, would you?"

"Oh, absolutely not," said Rey firmly.

Sheendra took Amma's hand and squeezed it. "He deserves to be banned for life," she said. "And I will always appreciate you throwing your shoe into his face, darling." She turned to Rey. "Shipping magnate, hmph. And I'm green as grass. He's a smuggler, and a terrible one, too. He only shows up nowadays if a job went well, which it barely ever does. His last job was tracking down a lost shipment of Rathtars—I think he was only paid half his fee, but there he is again in that ugly, ten year old suit." She shook her head. "White hasn't been in for men's evening wear since the Empire fell, _honestly_."

The bartender leaned over and set a drink of layered orange and yellow liquid on the bar, along with a clear small glass of some golden liquid. "Tatooine Sunrise for you, madam," he said congenially to Amma. "So sorry about…the gentleman."

The "gentleman" in question was being rushed out as discreetly as possible by security, kicking and trying to bite. Rey averted her gaze. "What's that?" she asked, pointing at the golden drink.

"Ah, yes." He smiled. "For you, miss. Compliments of the gentleman down the bar." He indicated with a nod, and Rey looked over his shoulder, but saw no gentleman, only three women in evening gowns sipping colorful cocktails and having an animated conversation with each other.

"Gentleman?" she asked. 

The bartender turned around and frowned. "Well. That's odd. He's gone, miss. Usually when a gentleman buys a lady a drink, they stay around long enough to receive a thank-you." He wiped the immaculate bar with a cloth.

Rey frowned, confused. "What did he look like?"

"Well, I didn't get a good look at his face. He had on a cloak from head to toe, and was very quiet and polite. He bought you our most expensive liquor. Corellian Gold." He waggled his moustache, leaning in conspiratorially. "It's over thirty thousand a shot," he whispered, almost afraid to speak the price.

Rey stared at him in shock, then looked down at the liquor. "Well," she said.

Sheendra patted her shoulder. "You must have a secret admirer," she said with a smile. "Go on. It's lovely stuff."

Rey lifted the glass, sniffed it slightly, and was pleased to find the fragrance sweet. She sipped it and tasted…honey. It was sweet and delicious, slipping over her throat like water, with a hint of spice hitting the back of her throat.

"That can hit you pretty hard, so watch out," warned Amma. "It's deceptive. I've only had it once, for my coming-of-age party. My father bought me one."

"It's amazing," Rey said, and took another sip, savoring it.

"Dear, why don't you assist our new friend back to the General?" Amma asked Sheendra. "I have to make that conference call into the Guild I forgot about, and it's twenty-oh-hundred already. And I am not missing Act Three."

"Of course," said Sheendra, and stood up. "Your friend is coming back, let's get you over there," she said with a smile to Rey.

Rey stumbled a little but kept herself upright. "It's _strong_ ," she said, clutching the glass.

"Very," said Sheendra, and escorted her back over to Poe, who was heading over. "General Dameron, this is your Jedi ward," she said politely. "She's had a grand adventure at the bar, and I think she may need something to water down this Corellian Gold with."

Poe boggled. "Cor—Corell—How—Who bought—"

"I have a secret admirer," said Rey, who was beginning to feel pleasantly warm and floaty.

"She put down a rather vulgar bully, and my wife and I were not the only impressed ones," said Sheendra. "Do ensure she gets back to her seat safely?"

"Of course," said Poe, tucking his arm around Rey's waist. "Thank you, Madam Councilor."

Sheendra chuckled. "Oh, don't be stuffy. Call me Sheendra. And do make sure to drop in for a visit tomorrow, we would love to speak about a direction for the Resistance." She winked at Poe, fetched Rey a carafe of water, and waved good-bye as she hurried back towards Amma. "Enjoy the third act!" she called.

Poe sat Rey in a seat and handed her water as she nursed her glass of criminally expensive liquor. "What on earth did you _do?"_ he asked.

"What?" she said.

"Sheendra Sella is the Chief Councilor to the Minister of War, and her wife, Amma Sella, is a member of Chandrilan nobility. Her father was a trillionaire, Rey. A mineral mining tycoon. Those people have so much money they could burn it to stay warm and have enough left over after winter to buy a fleet of ships." Poe's dark eyes were dancing.

"All I did was push a guy with the Force," she said, and sipped more water. "How long till third act?"

"Are you sober enough to sit through it?" Poe asked.

"I'm fine," she said stubbornly, and gulped down the rest of her glass of water, then finished off the liquor. "See?"

"All right. Lights are coming back down." Poe stood up and extended his hand, helping her up. "We have about five minutes."

Rey turned to follow him and caught a glimpse of a gray-cloaked figure in a shadowed corner. She blinked and squinted, and it was gone. _I am never drinking this stuff again,_ she thought, and followed Poe back into the darkening theater.


	24. Act Three

The theater dimmed. The stage lights came up. Rey, pressed close to Finn and feeling very tipsy indeed in their box, watched in fascination as the scene opened on the kingdom under the mountain, a dark and gloomy set.

The captive princess, still in white, stood out like a moon in the dark. She danced, bent, stood on her toes, every movement a clear pleading with the dark magician Jedda, who by turns caught at her, spun her, toyed with her, and danced with her as the music wailed sadly. More dancers suddenly emerged from the shadows, wearing masks striped in glowing paint, taking her from Jedda, spinning the princess round about as Koré tried to flee, stretching her arms out in supplication, but was caught at every turn by another masked creature.

The music grew stronger as Jedda tried harder and harder to reach his captive, but was thrown back by the underground creatures. Finally, as the music crested, Jedda raised his hands and flung his glittering cloak out, and flashes of light and electricity leaped from him and struck the creatures, which all dropped and scattered back into the scenery, routed. Rey gripped both Poe and Finn's arms hard and lurched forward.

The music began to soften and slow as Koré sank to the stage, faint from her struggle, in a pile of white fabric, back heaving with sobs.

"This is the best part," whispered Poe.

Jedda danced, almost hesitant, one minute pulling himself away and the next drawing closer, hovering over Koré, hands spread out. He turned away quickly, before she could look up, and went into a deep crouch, fluidly moving and twisting, raising his hands from the floor to above his head.

Flowers began to grow out of the dark ground. Rey gasped. Thousands of flowers, all colors, glowing with light, illuminating the stage, the front row, the orchestra pit. They grew and grew, rising up as the music swelled. Rose clapped before remembering where she was and quickly sat on her hands.

On the stage, the princess raised her head, the tiny sparkling gems stuck to her hair and face catching the colorful light from the flowers in sparks of red, gold, green, blue, purple. She rose to her feet and began to dance, bending down, touching the flowers, leaping much as she had in the first act. The music sweetened and softened, her tiny feet lifting as she gathered flowers and circled Jedda, her face turned to him.

Suddenly, Saro entered, wielding his sword and leaping upon Jedda. The music changed to warning, deep tones. Koré dropped her flowers and frantically joined them, going through an artfully choreographed battle with complicated steps as she struggled for the sword while Jedda waved his arms, lights flashing and smoke rising to smother Saro.

The music swelled, dark and dangerous, until at last Saro caught hold of Jedda and with a mighty swing of his sword, severed his hands at the wrist. (They were, of course, stuffed gloves quickly drawn out from a pocket in the cape and stuck to the ends of his wrists, but that didn't stop Rey's heart from leaping into her throat.) Koré went into a panicked pirouette, clutching at both of them with a heart-rending expression on her face. Saro caught her, twirled her away, and made as if to woo her, bending her down over his knee and back up, lifting her over his head as she bent in grief, her face contorted with emotion visible from the very last row.

Jedda, kneeling and helpless without his hands, looked up in supplication. The princess struggled, her back arching, as Saro refused to let her go. She grasped hold of his sword, and brought it up above her head in desperation. One short, sharp stab downward as the music jerked in time, and Saro dropped, collapsing with her in his arms. Koré gracefully dropped the weapon and let him fall, cartwheeling off his body and landing on her feet, then leaping to Jedda, who lay on the ground. She cradled his head and slowly brought her own down to touch his forehead.

The curtain closed, the music faded, and deafening applause exploded.

"That can't be it!" Rey demanded. "Did he die? What happens?"

"There's still the last act to go!" Poe said, laughing.

"How did they do the _flowers_?" Rose asked, hands pressed to her face. "Hatches? Fiber-optics? How—"

" _Shh_ ," said Finn, enjoying himself very much as the curtain rose back up.

They opened on the final scene, the sunlit meadow by the mouth of the cave again. The King and Queen stood there, flanked by the Handmaidens all in pink, mourning the death of the hero, Saro, who lay concealed under a black blanket.

The King and Queen had a lovely dance piece where they circled around each other, clearly pantomiming their loss for their daughter and how they had given up all hope of seeing her. The Handmaidens joined in, circling around the King and Queen and looking very sad and hopeless.

Smoke poured from the cave, and out of the smoke stepped Koré, dressed in a magnificent red gown, her hair circled by winged red glittering pieces. Her family and friends all leaped back, dazzled and afraid, and she extended her hands and leaned on one leg, the other pointed out straight behind her, and began to rotate on one foot, moving her hands and arms only, in a dazzling display of muscle control and strength.

Flowers once again began to blossom, growing from the stage floor, glittering and sparkling in the light. A mighty tree began to grow, leaves pushing out of the branches and overshadowing the entire stage. Gasps from the audience filled the auditorium, and Koré took her last and final dance, leaping and twirling around the stage in a frenzy of exhilaration, standing on her toes, dancing with her handmaidens and her parents. The music grew louder and more triumphant, she stood at the entrance to the cave, turned back—a brief second of glittering red through the smoke, and with a joyous expression, threw something down to the stage floor that timed perfectly with a last blast of music from the orchestra—and disappeared in a cloud of red smoke.

The music stopped. The audience leaped to their feet, clapping and cheering as the curtain dropped. People in the front were throwing bouquets onto the stage. It was utter pandemonium. Rey leaped up and clapped along with everyone else, watching as all the dancers came out to bow and wave—first the handmaidens, then the King and Queen, then Saro, who waved, smiling as people cheered and laughed—and finally, Koré and Jedda, who received their thunderous applause with grace, waving and bowing at the crowd.

"All right," said Poe, turning to Rey. "We better get a move on before the reporters start crowding the landing pads."

"We're probably too late for that," said Kaydel, leaning over, half shouting to be heard over the audience.

"I _really_ have to pee," said Rey, edging past Poe. "Meet you guys in the lobby."

"You good?" Poe asked, a bit worried.

"I'm not that drunk," she protested, and slid past him, hurrying to find a fresher.

~

After some confusion over designated bathrooms, she slipped into the proper lavatory and found an empty stall. She luckily found one toward the back, as the long gleaming room was already filling with chattering theatergoers.

She finished her business and sanitized her hands, feeling slightly tipsy and pleasantly warm. Exiting the restroom, she saw a flash of gray off to the left, going through an arched doorway, and frowned.

 _The secret admirer,_ she thought, and looked around. None of her friends were in the lobby yet, so she edged over to the arch, peering down the dim hall. It seemed to lead to a few private rooms.

Nobody was in the hallway. She wondered if the building was perhaps haunted, and a chill went up her spine. Nevertheless, she took a few steps in. "Hello?" she called out. "Is anyone back here?" Silence met her ears. Rey decided she'd had too much to drink, and she had just turned to walk back to the entry arch when a soft rustle met her ears. She whirled to see the very last door opening softly, beckoning her into the softly lit room beyond.

Rey hesitated, then walked forward, pushing open the door and peering into the room. It was furnished with a few low couches, heavy curtains shading alcoves, and a heating unit, which cast a low golden light over the room. "Hello?" she asked again, more confused than alarmed, and stepped fully inside, looking around.

The door behind her shut with a click. She turned, one hand on her lightsaber. "Hey!"

"No need for that," said a soft voice, almost a whisper, from the shadowed alcove. The man in the gray cloak slid out, both his black-gloved hands open in a gesture showing he had no weapon. "I mean you no harm."

"Who are you?" she demanded, swaying slightly. She felt very warm. "You bought me that drink, didn't you?"

He was silent, then nodded in confirmation. "I wished to express my admiration. You do not entertain the cruel, or the crude. It is an admirable quality."

"Thanks for the drink," she said, not entirely convinced. "It was very delicious. And strong. I—I have to be going. My friends are waiting for me."

"As are mine," he murmured. "They can all wait. Please, sit." He indicated the sofas with one hand.

Rey hesitated, but didn't sense any ill will from him, so she sank down onto one of the low sofas, keeping her eyes on him. He glided out from behind the curtain and sat, his hood still shadowing his face.

"Do you know the tale of Koré and Jedda?" he asked after another brief moment of silence. "The full story, not the ballet we just saw."

"No," she said. "I only heard it today."

"It's a classical myth on Coruscant." The man looked away from her. "Jedda, as far as history knows, was a human man powerful with the Force. He lived a secluded existence in a cave on one of the high mountains of Coruscant, long ago. He frightened other humans, you see. They called him a sorcerer, and avoided his territory."

Rey leaned forward to listen, her hands leaving her saber hilt.

"One day, Koré, the only daughter of the tribal leaders who made their home at the foot of the mountain, went to the cave where Jedda lived, and disappeared." He shifted his weight slightly. "Most modern scholars agree that the idea of him kidnapping her with ill intent is a later invention—added for the element of sympathy for the disappeared princess, you see."

"She went with him," Rey said, beginning to be intrigued in spite of herself.

"She did," said the man. "Several search parties were launched to find her, and all of them came back empty-handed. Until one day, a warrior whose name has been lost to time—you saw him being called 'Saro'—went to the cave, and went inside to find her. And find her he did. She was being instructed in the ways of the Force by Jedda, who had sensed her power, taken her, and taught her everything he knew. She was strong."

"What happened?" Rey asked, more curious than ever.

"The warrior attacked Jedda, who was caught unawares, and mutilated him. Koré leaped upon the man in a rage and ran him through with his own spear, and when she realized what she had done, she wept. She nursed Jedda's wounds, and took the body of the warrior back to her people, cloaked and painted with red—their color for mourning, for blood, for war. And she went back up to the mountain, and nobody ever saw her or Jedda again—but their children, sometimes, one every few years, would answer a silent call, go up the mountain, and never return."

There was a brief silence while Rey looked at the man and the man remained still.

"I thought it was a love story," said Rey.

"Of course it's a love story," said the man. "It's also a story about the first Jedi. And a warning against letting your children wander in the forest. Stories can be multiple things at once, especially very old ones."

"Jedda, Jedi," said Rey. "And the mountain?"

"The mountain is where the Jedi Temple was constructed, stone by stone, millennia by millennia." The man looked away, his hood shading everything. "The tree Koré grew—that was the Great Tree, which stood for centuries and centuries in the garden of the Temple, where younglings trained and meditated in its shadow." He glanced back, a hint of eye gleaming from under the hood. "And here you are, our very own Koré, dressed in the color of war and seeking to take the children, to teach them. You see. History repeats itself. So one must wonder where your Jedda is. Who will you run through with a spear?"

Rey looked at her feet. "You're mocking me," she said, slightly put out. "Who are you? You didn't get me alone in here to give me a history lesson."

He sighed. "No, I did not. I came to ask you for something."

"I saw you this morning, didn't I?" Rey asked. "At the tomb. Leia Organa's tomb. I'm sure of it."

He was silent in his cloak. There was no answer.

"Are you following me?" Rey stood up sharply and took a step back, then regretted the movement as she went dizzy and had to grasp the back of the couch. "Who _are_ you? What do you want?"

"You know who I am," he whispered, and it was such a sick, pained sentence that she let go of the couch and stepped toward him.

"No," she said, not quite believing. "It can't be."

She reached up and yanked the hood off his head, revealing the face of Kylo Ren.

He stared at her with mute appeal, a wide bacta patch over his nose. His skin was mottled with yellow and green bruising under his eyes, his scar standing out in stark contrast. "Please don't attack me," he said quickly, hands raised.

"I—" Rey stared at him. "I really did do a number on your nose."

"The bacta patches come off tonight," he said, and looked down.

"Was that why—you've been on the planet the entire time!" Rey dropped her hands and touched her fingers to her temples, trying to focus. "You went—you went to your mother's tomb, you were— _watching_ me in the bar—are you in disguise? Does anyone know you're here? Where's the First Order?"

Kylo, seeing she wasn't going to run him through on sight, visibly relaxed. "Yes, yes, kind of, and yes. Only Hux, and the forces are offworld because the new laws won't let them be in the airspace." He sighed. "At least you got a saber permit."

"You can probably apply for one, I think the Senate is voting on—wait a minute." She shook her head. "Why are you here? You said you came to ask me for something—what?"

Kylo looked at her. "I came to ask you to forgive me. I shouldn't have expected you to—to trust me so soon, even after—everything. And—I upset you, and I'm sorry. I lied to the First Order because—because I'm a coward, Rey. And you deserve better. You deserve better."

Rey gaped at him. "You—are you even on their side? Or mine?"

"I don't want to _be_ on a side," he said. "I want to be—I thought I wanted to be the Supreme Leader, but it's—it's so lonely. If I'd gotten everything I ever wanted without ever meeting you, I would have been happy. But you—" his voice caught. "You were someone else. Someone new. Someone different. And it doesn't matter what I do, or what I become, or what power I possess." He turned away and looked at the wall for a moment. "Without you," he said, very quietly, "it's all worthless."

Rey felt tears gathering in her eyes, threatening to streak her makeup. "You can still come back," she pleaded. _No, I want to be angry, why did I drink that stupid Corellian Gold?_ "You still—Kylo. You made choices. You chose wrong. You did horrible things. But you don't have to choose wrong again. The light—the light is still calling to you. I know it is. Please. Let it in."

"I just want you to forgive me," he said, turning back to her. She saw tears in his eyes, mirroring hers. "Please. I can't stop thinking about how angry you were. How much I hurt you. I remember how scared you were. It's haunting me, Rey. Please. Forgive me."

"I—" Rey struggled, wanting to stay angry. She backed away and sank down on the couch, pressing her hands to her temples. Kylo Ren mirrored her, sitting on the other sofa. "It's the Jedi way to forgive," she said stiffly. "I'm not sober enough to forgive you yet. And I'm also not a Jedi yet."

Kylo's mouth twitched slightly in a hint of a smile. "Fair."

"I'm—" She looked at her hands. "I'm staying at 500 Republica. Floor 990. I'd like—I want to see you again, if—if you can come quietly, and in secret. And when I'm not drunk off your stupidly expensive liquor."

"I—of course I can come," he said, his face coming alive. She could sense the eagerness rolling off him like fog— _she wants to see me again? She does? Me?_

"I have to go," she said, and stood dizzily. "I'm meeting everyone in the lobby. They're going to wonder where I am."

"I—Rey, just—" He stood swiftly, towering over her, and brought his hands up as if he wanted to touch her face, but stopped himself at the last second. "You look very beautiful," he said quietly.

She opened her mouth to say something, but he was gone, sweeping away from her and opening the door, then disappearing down the corridor. Rey followed him down and looked down the hallway, his tall form nowhere to be seen, or else mixed in with the hundreds of people milling around in the lobby.

She fought another shiver and began to walk, looking for Finn and Poe.

Ghosts haunted the theater, all right: but not the kind she'd thought.


	25. Intrigue

Back at 500 Republica, Finn and Rose moseyed off toward their bedroom almost immediately. Chewbacca was asleep, sequestered in the dining room on a pile of cushions so as not to be woken by everyone arriving back through the living area.

(A good idea, because a Wookie snoring is never conducive to a good night's sleep.)

Poe paused after wishing Connix a good night and looked down at Rey. "Something's bothering you," he said. "What's up?"

Rey swallowed. "I'm just drunk," she said. "I should have paced myself. You were right."

He chuckled and dug into his pocket. "Here. This will help you sober up faster, and they'll help with the hangover." Poe shook out two small orange pills into her hand. "Chew 'em up."

"Thanks," she said, and popped them into her mouth. They tasted like tangy, slightly chemical fruit. "Have a good night."

Poe disappeared into his own suite and Rey trudged into hers. Beauty-Six was waiting, and after she'd been peeled out of the dress and had her hair taken down, the droid whirred out of the room, locking the doors behind her. Rey was grateful for the triple-magnetic locks and the soundproofing as she went into the refresher and drew a bath. Nobody needed to barge in on her just now.

The hot water soothed the ache in her back and legs. Rey shut her eyes and relaxed, already feeling a little more clear-headed. The tub was deep, the water nearly to her chin.

Eventually, she dragged herself out of the tub and dried off in a luxuriously thick towel, wrapping up in a robe. Her bedroom was quiet, the ambient light from the cityscape shining through strips of blinds covering the enormous floor to ceiling windows. She changed into fresh underthings and a short sleeping gown, then flopped back on the bed, her feet still aching in spite of the flat shoes.

There was a soft tap-tap at the door, and her automatic security system projected a blue screen showing the person outside.

She sat up in shock. It was _him._

"Open the door," she ordered, and the triple locks released. Kylo Ren slid silently inside as the door closed again automatically and locked behind him.

"Hi," he said awkwardly after a second of silence.

"How did you get up here?" she demanded.

"You'd be shocked at how easily you can get around places when you can use the Force and look like you know where you're going," he told her, letting his hand rest on the table by the door. "And I knew this was your room. You have a—a signature in the Force." He waved his hand.

"So do you," she said, not to be outdone. "I just…wasn't paying attention just now."

"You should always be mindful," he said. "Anyway. Are you feeling better?"

Rey swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "Feet are killing me. Those flat shoes were a bad idea, no support. Other than that, I'm fine. Poe gave me something to help with the hangover and sober me up."

"Poe," said Kylo, eyes narrowed. "I'm surprised he's not in here."

"Oh, shut up." Rey stretched. "It was one time. We haven't even talked about it since."

"It—" Kylo stared at her. "You did? You—he—you really slept together?"

"You don't have some kind of claim on me," she informed him, slightly upset. She reached out with the Force, and realized what she'd taken as a jealous, entitled reaction was, in fact, deep discomfort and surprise. "I—it was weird anyway," she said, trying to soften the blow. "Not, I mean. He's not weird." She didn't want to give him personal ammunition to use. "Just. We're friends. We like each other. We—he called it a test run. And we didn't technically have sex. I did something—I mean, I didn't intend to, but—well, anyway, we haven't talked about it."

"What?" Kylo blinked. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," she insisted, feeling her face heat up. "Let's change the subject, please. What are we going to do about the First Order?"

"I don't want to talk about the First Order," said Kylo. "Hux knows I'm down here because I told him I'd look for rich benefactors on our side, but you got here first. Fortunately nobody knows what I look like, because of the, uh, mask I wore all the time. So I can go around unnoticed." He moved forward slightly, and she backed up, an automatic reaction. Kylo stopped dead. "Sorry. Can I use the fresher?"

"Go ahead," Rey said, and he walked over to the door and closed it behind him.

The second it closed, she exhaled and hung her head forward. "What are you _doing?_ " she hissed to herself. "Get a grip!" She could hear water running behind the door, and dragged her hands down her face. _I'm not going to sleep with him. I'm not. I'm not going to sleep with him._

He re-entered, carrying his gray cloak over his arm, revealing his clothing—a black, high-collared long tunic lined with black fur: wide belt, black boots, black trousers. He set the cloak down on a chair.

"So, um," said Rey. "Where are you staying?"

He laid the cloak down over the arm of a chair. "Floor 890."

She gaped, aghast. "Who's your benefactor? How are you only ten floors down?"

"A few representatives who are big fans of the First Order. They're very deferential and overly respectful—when they do show up to talk. Otherwise, I have the whole place to myself." He looked down. "I'm making you nervous. I can sense it."

"I'm—" She looked away. "I just had no idea. You realize I'll have to tell someone about this, right? I can't—I can't cover for you, not here."

"The currency of the high-class Coruscanti is information," he said bitterly.

Rey frowned, sensing his thoughts. "You _want_ me to tell them. You want—"

Like a door slamming shut, his mind put up walls, barring her from seeing his thoughts. "No," he said. "Don't."

It was too late. She'd seen it. "You want the First Order to fall," she whispered, shocked. "You want it all gone, you want me to tell the Resistance so they can launch a movement to remove—you think coming to me will be the catalyst in dismantling it, you want—"

"Stop," he whispered, and rounded the foot of the bed with ferocious speed, looming down on her. " _Stop_ it, Rey."

"I'm trying to help you," she snapped, gripping his collar and glaring up into his face. "At least have the courage to do it yourself."

"I can't," he hissed, catching at her arms, tears glittering in his eyes. "Don’t you understand? I need them to trust me with everything until I can tear it down from the inside."

"And you want me to trust you, too," said Rey, releasing his tunic from her grip. "Are you going to tear me down from the inside, too?"

"No," he said, his gloved hands trembling on her arms. "No. Never. What—what can I do to prove it to you, make you understand—"

"Let go of me," she said, and his hands sprang from her skin like she'd burned him.

"I'm sorry," Kylo said, backing up a step, the self-loathing rolling off him. "I didn't mean to—I'm sorry." He knelt on the floor in front of her, shoulders hunched.

Rey closed her eyes, feeling tears gather at the corners. "I can't do this," she said. "I'm not cut out for political intrigue. The games, the lies. I can't."

"No, you're not," he agreed, looking up at her. "It's very refreshing. And not just to me. As your new friends the Sellas can tell you."

Rey bent her head. "It's past midnight. I have to sleep. My feet hurt. I'm exhausted. Please don't make this any more complicated than it already is."

Kylo looked her over, a piercing gaze that made her feel naked. "I can help with one of those things," he offered, and tugged at the fingers of his left glove, then the right, until the leather fell away, exposing his hands.

Rey raised an eyebrow as he reached down and let his thumb cross the top of her right foot. His hands were surprisingly warm, and she began to relax as he took her foot in his hands and began to massage it. "Ooh," she said in surprise, and relaxed. His thumbs felt huge, pressing and digging into the ball of her foot and the soft tendons behind it, up the sole.

He finished her right foot, moved to her left, and began to massage her calves, his hands going higher as he pressed his thumbs into her hard muscle. Rey swallowed hard, fighting against the heat gathering in her belly as his warm hands traced her bare legs, then came to rest at the back of her knees.

Kylo raised his eyes. "Rey," he said, a single syllable full of promise.

 _I shouldn't,_ she wanted to say, but her mouth was dry as sand and her body was yearning for him.

"Don't be afraid," he whispered. "Don't be afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid," she said, and reached forward, her hand cupping his face. "Not anymore. Not now."

Kylo closed his eyes, savoring her touch, and leaned into her palm, turning his head and pressing his lips to the base of her thumb. She let out a soft breath as his warm mouth grazed her hand, lips giving way to teeth, teeth giving way to tongue. "Kylo," she managed, and realized she was gripping the sheets with her other hand.

His hands stroked her knees, the soft skin just behind them. She didn't have to use the Force to see he was struggling to keep himself in check. "Whatever you want," he murmured, and drew closer, his head almost in her lap. "Tell me what you want. Anything. I'll do it."

Rey bent over him and pressed a kiss to his head. "I don't _know_ what I want," she whispered, her hands burying themselves in his thick dark hair. "I don't know."

His arms reached for her, circled her waist. His heat soaked through the thin silk of her nightdress, his head pressed to her waist. "Don't think about the First Order, or the Resistance. None of it. It's just us now."

She sucked in a choked breath, overcome, and stroked his hair. _Don't do it,_ said her reason, and her emotion said, _do it._ "I forgive you," she whispered, and felt the shudder run through his body. "Now kiss me before I change my mind."

Kylo was up on his knees, grasping at her shoulders before she could say another word. His mouth pressed into hers, open and hot, tasting of Corellian Gold and something else. "Rey," he breathed into her face, and she could smell the liquor.

"Hold on, are you _drunk_?" Rey asked.

"Slightly," he said, and kissed her again, hot and close.

Rey let him do it, and then pulled away. "You've been drunk this whole time," she said, not knowing whether to laugh or be disappointed.

"I'm a coward. I needed a boost," he said, pressing his forehead to hers. "In my defense… I was sober at the ballet. I just…I went to the bar and downed two shots of Gold and a Galactic Cocktail before I came here."

Rey sighed and broke contact, scooting backward on the bed. Kylo remained where he was, looking at her over the edge of the bed. "I am not going to fool around with a drunk person," she informed him. "You're not operating at full capacity. It wouldn’t be right."

He groaned and let his head flop against the edge of the bed. "I'm the Supreme Leader of the organization that wants you dead, and the issue you have against sleeping with me is that I had a _drink_ or two before I came here," he said, his words slightly slurred.

"Yes," she said. "Believe me, I wish you weren't." Under her nightdress, her thighs pressed together. "Just—just go. Please. If you can make it back down there without passing out."

"I'm _fine_ , I'll go," he informed her, and stood up—too fast. His eyes rolled back in his head and he toppled to the ground like a sack of bricks, splayed out on his back, dead asleep.

Rey stared at the Supreme Leader of the First Order, passed out drunk on her bedroom floor.

"Kriffing hell," she said.

~

Poe Dameron awoke out of a very strange dream where he was flying an X-wing over a cave and trying to shoot at a field of flowers that kept growing and growing, to a knock on his door and the security system alerting him to the presence of Rey.

He sat up groggily and checked his chrono. It was barely past midnight. "Come in," he said, and Rey hurried in, hair loose and damp, dressed in a lush green nightrobe and looking worried.

"I have a—I have an emergency," she said.

"What, what is it?" Poe rubbed his eyes and the lights came on. "Are you okay? You hurt?"

"I'm fine, it's—I—just come to my room, please," she begged, and he dragged himself out of bed, following her to her bedroom suite in his silk sleep pants and nothing else.

Rey opened the door, yanked him in, shut the door, and pointed. "That. That's my problem."

Poe rubbed his eyes again, extra hard, to make sure he wasn't hallucinating the passed out form of Kylo Ren on the floor of her bedroom. "That's. Well, that's definitely a problem."

"What do I _do_?" she asked, frantic. "We can't hide him, someone will find him."

"What?" Poe stared at her blankly. "What happened in the hour since we got home?"

She dragged her hands through her hair. "He was the secret admirer," she explained. "He was there. He's here. On Coruscant. He's staying in the building. No, I'm doing a terrible job of explaining this. Okay. He was here the whole time and he told Hux that he was looking for benefactors. There are senators--no, representatives here who are in cahoots with the First Order, they're paying for him, and he's been kind of following me, because he wanted to say he was sorry, and he did, and I was at the theater and he was there, and I told him to come here and I was drunk so I shouldn't have and I'm sorry, Poe. But he came. And he said he was sorry and then I realized he was drunk, and _then_ he passed out."

Poe squinted, trying to parse this information. "He's being entertained by representatives? Who?"

"I don't know, he passed out. He just said they support the First Order."

"Probably some people with ties to war profiteering and the like," Poe said. "Wait, so he—he made it up here without being stopped? How?"

"He said he used the Force." Rey shrugged.

"We may need to have a talk with security about other guests wandering drunkenly into our rooms," said Poe. "Okay. Deep breaths. We can't really put him back in his room, which would be the safest choice. We can stash him in my room and I'll just bunk over with you for tonight. You said—is he trying to lure the Order to us?"

"No, he isn't," Rey said, firm and sure. "I saw into his mind before he blocked me out—and it wasn't an act—he wants the First Order demolished. But he can't just leave it, he has to act like he's still on their side for a little bit. And he wants to destroy it through politics."

Poe fist-pumped. "Man on the inside who knows the value of intrigue. Excellent. Okay. Let me think. We're going to bring Finn in on this. Not Rose, not Kaydel. They're still working in an official capacity. We can bring Chewie in, too. If he doesn't realize Ren's on our side, that won't end well. So we'll stay on the planet's upper levels and have them go join the others in recruitment. They can start spreading rumors about how the First Order is losing their strength, you know. We can—"

Rey interrupted. "That's great, but we need to focus on what to do with the unconscious man on my floor."

"Oh, right." Poe clapped his forehead. "Uh. We can't be seen with him, so we'll just leave him in here, get him into bed, and you can bunk over with me. Nobody will bat an eye at you being in my room, and nobody should go into your room for any reason."

"Okay, good plan," she said. "Help me pick him up."

Lifting him was no easy task. He weighed a good few kilos more than Poe, and was a head and a half taller. Poe struggled with his torso and Rey struggled with his feet as they dragged him up and into the bed. Rey pulled his boots off and grabbed his cloak, covering him with it.

"Roll him on his side," said Poe, and they did, propping him into place with pillows.

"I'll leave him a note," Rey said, and snatched up a piece of flimsiplast from the desk by the window, tapping out: _Leave by 1100 hours. Poe knows. No danger. See you around._

"Okay, let's go back to sleep," said Poe, yawning. Rey tucked a strand of hair behind Kylo's ear and let her fingers linger on his face for a second, then hurried out to follow Poe into his room.

Ten minutes later she was secured in a mass of blankets, and fell asleep to the sound of Poe's soft breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's getting married in 2 weeks that's right yours truly, so I can't really have a consistent update schedule (I'M SORRY) but I promise you this will NOT be an unfinished fic. ENJOY, SHARE, SPREAD THE LOVE


	26. Two Meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't read Bloodline by Claudia Gray, I HIGHLY recommend you do. A lot of the political stuff I'm pulling out here plot-wise which isn't covered in the films is covered in that novel. 
> 
> Short version: the two political factions in the New Republic are Centrists and Populists. Centrists favor a strong central galactic government and a large military; Populists favor smaller planetary governments with each planet holding their own power to govern themselves. Leia was a Populist who quit her day job as a senator after being outed as Darth Vader's daughter to form the Resistance and fight the First Order. A few Centrists were super down with the First Order being a thing, but not all of them, even though many Centrists were like "hey the structure of the Empire wasn't that bad even though the whole fascism thing sucked." 
> 
> With that out of the way, enjoy!

The next morning, an aide dropped by as they were all having breakfast to inform them that Rey and Poe were requested to meet with the Minister of War in precisely an hour.

Rey shoveled down her food, excited at the prospect of seeing Sheendra again, and hurried back to her bedroom, cautiously opening the door.

Her bed was empty, made up as if it had never been touched, and on the flimsiplast that she'd left on the table was the message: _Thank you._

Quickly, she tossed it aside, deleting the message. BU-T6 rolled in. "Mistress Rey, if you are going to meet with the Minister of War, I suggest a muted palette, perhaps jewel tones. Rich fabrics, but understated style."

"Thanks, Beauty-Six," Rey said, and pulled out the plain blue velvet she'd tried on the night before, high necked, with long, slim-fitted sleeves that ended at the wrist. BU-T6 rolled about, handing her jewelry and instructing her on where to put various items. Over the blue velvet dress went a dark gold-woven overdress with wide sleeves, then a deeper blue, almost black in the shadows, heavily patterned four-paneled cloak with a gold brooch fastening it at the throat. Beauty-Six combed all her hair back and styled it into a low, wide loop at the back of her head, securing it with a gold band.

On her feet went laced up, winter boots (she insisted, and Beauty-Six let out a huff of static and set aside the flimsy blue pumps she'd selected) and last but not least, light cosmetics.

Poe poked his head in, dressed in his uniform. "You ready? No lightsabers allowed this time, I'm afraid."

"Almost," she said without moving her lips as Beauty-Six applied a sheer gloss. "Okay, now. Thanks, Beauty-Six."

"Have fun," the droid sang out, whirring around and tidying up as they left.

~

The Minister of War's office was located deep in the winding corridors of the old Galactic Senate building. Rey was glad for the boots as they disembarked from their transport onto a wide and empty deck slammed with cold wind. Then there was a long trek through pillared halls that were still open to the air, a chill pervading the space.

"Where's the office, anyway?" mumbled Rey to Poe. He shrugged and followed the aide, who led them through the pillars into a hallway that was (blessedly) closed to the winter wind, but still chilly. Rey could see her breath as they passed through.

After a veritable maze, two turbolift rides, and another walk through a hallway, they finally entered the Minister of War's office. It was decorated in gray, white, and black: a stark contrast to the rest of the building.

"Please, wait here," said the aide, pointing to a lobby with several low, curved couches that circled the room. She disappeared into another room, and Rey and Poe took their seats, BB-8 burbling nervously at them.

"Oh, relax," said Poe.

Rey folded her hands in her lap and sat up straight, trying to be proper. She stared at the art on the walls (modern and boring) and at the swirled carpet (also boring). "How long do we have to wait?" she asked.

"Until we get called," Poe said, and slumped back in his seat. "The glamour of politics."

The far door opened, and Kylo Ren, cutting a tall, imposing figure in black-on-black brocade and silver accents, strode through the door, which slid shut behind him almost instantly.  He halted at the sight of Rey, his eyes fixed on her. "Good morning, General Dameron," he said smoothly, without even looking at him. "Sit up straight, if you please. Bad posture."

BB-8 let out a series of angry, startled beeps and burbles before spinning about and hiding under Rey's skirts, poking his rounded dome out and retracting it.

Poe jerked upright. "What are you doing here?" he asked, making a quick, aborted movement toward what would have been his blaster if he'd been allowed to have it inside. Rey didn't move.

"Attending a meeting with the War Minister," said Kylo. "He was very curious to hear my report on the needs of the First Order." He walked closer and his voice dropped as he looked to the left. "Don't be so reactionary, Dameron. The floor is yours now."

Rey finally found her voice. "I hope you enjoyed the ballet last night."

"Indeed I did. Although I confess I don't remember much of what happened after I got back to my apartment." Kylo gave her one of those unreadable, blank looks. "You look very imposing, Madame Jedi."

"Thank you," she said, and let her eyes slide over him. "You… look the part, Supreme Leader."

The other door opened and the aide walked through, coming up short at the sight of the three of them. "Oh, goodness," she said faintly, appalled at the very idea of all three of them in a room together. "My apologies—Supreme Leader, Madame Jedi, General Dameron—"

"No need for an apology," said Poe, standing up. "The Supreme Leader was just leaving. Weren't you, Ren?"

Kylo gave Poe a long, hard stare. "I was," he said coolly. "Good day, General." He inclined his head. "Madame Jedi." He looked down at BB-8, who made a soft _ooh—ooooh_ hooting noise. "BB-8," he said, and cast one quick glance back at Rey, eyes sweeping over her, before gliding out of the lobby in a swirl of black.

She fought the insane urge to run after him, and instead rose up and faced the door, following Poe into the room beyond, past the stunned aide.

~

The Minister of War was a wizened, elderly being of a species Rey was unfamiliar with. He had a long, thin white beard sprouting from his wrinkly, pink chin that was combed neatly and reached nearly to his lap. In contrast to his monochromatic office, he wore a robe of brown silk interwoven with gold, which rustled when he moved—which wasn't often.

Sheendra Sella was standing behind his right side, wearing a very formal and angular costume of iridescent white and pink, a headdress of pearly material encasing the front of her head. It looked very nice with her blue skin, Rey thought. On the Minister's left stood a rather imposing Gran, the gender or sex of which, if any, Rey could not discern from either clothing or form. All three of their eyes were looking at Rey, Poe, and BB-8, respectively.

Poe was already halfway through his pre-rehearsed speech about how the Resistance was a beacon of hope in these troubled times and how they hoped to secure a lasting peace for all systems through fighting the First Order to protect the Republic when Sheendra coughed delicately, interrupting him.

"Yes, Chancellor Sella?" asked the Minister. "There is something you wish to say?"

"Yes, Minister." Sheendra glanced at Rey and winked. "This young woman is the Jedi I told you about. The one who defeated the Supreme Leader of the First Order twice in battle, as the HoloNet keeps reporting."

"Well," said Rey, as every eye (and all three of the Gran's) focused on her. "Erm. He wasn't the Supreme Leader the first time I fought him."

The Minister raised an eyebrow. "You mean that tall young fellow who was just in here?"

"Yes. I gave him the scar on his face," said Rey.

"He's an… interesting man," said the Minister pensively. "Didn't make much of an impression, hrm. He tells me the Order is losing support, defectors every day since Snoke was killed. They have ships and firepower, but no heart. Whereas you in the Resistance have all the heart and no firepower."

"We have hope," said Poe. "That might be all we need."

The Minister's eyes narrowed. "Hrm, try stopping a blaster bolt with _hope,_ General." He leaned back, silks rustling. "The Senate will take a very long time to deliberate on whether or not to approve a loan to the Resistance. In truth, we did not realize the strength of the First Order's power until the attack on the Hosnian system recently. And I don't mind telling you that several Senators are still quite sympathetic to the cause of the Order, which will make the vote more complicated."

"But if the majority votes to approve?" Rey looked at him. "Don't they all realize any one of their worlds could be next? Isn't the First Order the one who broke the Concordance? How could any of them even think about giving them aid?"

"My child," said the Minister, "money runs politics, not morals, not logic. If it was up to me, I would hand you millions of credits and further your cause in every way I could. But it is not up to me. It is up to the Senate. So it is the Senate who we must convince."

Poe nodded. "Right. How soon can we move for a vote?"

Sheendra tapped her datapad. "Many Senators are currently offworld for the winter. They will have to be recalled to convene for an emergency session."

"They can't attend via hologram?" asked Poe.

"Vote tampering issues, so no," explained Sheendra. "They must be here and in person."

"I suggest one of you give a speech during the session," said the Minister. "You talk about the importance of protection from fascism, from the First Order, from the scion of the Empire. Get them on your side. Then, move for a vote to organize the Resistance into the Republic Army."

"Absolutely not," said Poe. "We can't rearrange and work under a bureaucracy. We'd be throwing away everything we stand for. We'd be crippling ourselves. We'd never get anything done if we were under complete control of the Senate."

"That's the only way to appeal to the Republic," said the Minister, shrugging. "Currently, we operate under a Populist government. Each planet has its own defenses and governs itself, and you see how that goes when one is on planets that have no, hrm, defense systems. If Naboo had had an army, General Organa would not have died."

Rey saw Poe's knuckles go white on the arms of his chair. "General Organa designed the Resistance for maximum efficiency to fight against a regime that has no bureaucratic voting system for who or what it destroys," he said with some effort. "The First Order won't sit in session for weeks and vote on what planet to destroy next. They'll just do it. How can we be an efficient army when we're hampered by the Senate? How can we protect anyone if we can't play on their level?"

"One might ask," said the Minister rather delicately, "if you play on their level, and use their tactics—what makes you so different from the First Order?"

"That's outrageous," said Rey. "We're not the ones who blew up the Hosnian system. That's like asking how Luke Skywalker was any different than Darth Vader."

"If you organize and become the Republic Army," said Sheendra, "we can shift the tide of the war and get the parties to compromise. With you on the political scene, asking for help and presenting yourself as the last line of defense, planets will vote senators and representatives who are pro-Republic Army into offices of representation. If they gain majority, you _will_ have the ability to fight back against the Order. The Centrists will get their military, and the Populists will have their sovereign worlds kept safe. Not everything will be entangled in weeks of voting. We can streamline the system, make a clear chain of command. The New Republic will be able to work with you, not against you."

Poe wrinkled his nose. "Is this our only option?"

"Private donors will only get you so far," said the Minister. "With the support of the Republic, you will be organized, funded, and able to fight back. We have technology developments that are on their way to being able to block hyperspace tracking. That will all be at your disposal."

"As long as we're _able_ to fight," said Poe, his resolve clearly weakening.

"If this is your plan, then I suggest we put out the calls now. Get all the senators back on Coruscant, hold an emergency session of the Senate, and appeal for a vote." Sheendra tapped her datapad. "And I really do suggest the young Jedi be the one to give the speech."

"Oh, no," said Rey, simultaneously with Poe's "What?"

"Yes, I agree," said the Minister. "General Dameron…no offense, but you're far too…obvious a choice. The Senate sees another military figure and they will lose interest. They see a young Jedi, and they will be captivated. Young Rey, hrm, speaks from the heart. No deception. Only what she knows to be true."

"I can't stand up and give a speech to hundreds of people," Rey said, slightly panicking.

"I'll talk to my team about it," said Poe, glancing over at Rey. "We will all attend the emergency session, regardless of who speaks. That can be decided later."

"Excellent." The Minister leaned back. "I'll inform the Chancellor at once, and keep you all up to date on the session." He pressed a button and the aide came back through the door. "Enjoy the rest of your day, General. Madame Jedi."

"May the Force be with you," said Rey, standing and inclining her head.

"And with you," said the Minister, smiling slightly.

"And, Minister," said Poe. "It would be best if the First Order did not learn of the emergency session. So many Senators in one place might present a target for them."

"Our anti-airship technology will ensure the safety of all on the planet," said the Minister. "I understand your desire to be discreet, General, and I will do as you request. Never fear. This is the safest world you can possibly be on."

"Thank you very much," said Poe, and left, Rey in his wake.

~

Once they'd been safely tucked back in their apartment and left by the aide, Poe buzzed Finn, Rose, and Kaydel out of the rooms where they'd been enjoying a late morning nap. Chewie had disappeared, probably to go hunting for food.

"Connix, Tico," he said. "I'm putting you on recruitment duty as of right now. Go find the team—" he checked his datapad—"and make sure they're covering as much ground as they can. Connix, you're the highest ranking officer under me, so you're in charge of the recruitment effort. I want a report twice a day."

"Yes, sir," said Kaydel.

"We have to make a speech to the Senate in a couple of days. We got the slot, now we just have to figure out what we're going to do." Poe clapped Finn on the shoulder. "How do you feel about making speeches?"

"Me?" Finn stared at him. "Uh, not that great. I'm not a speech kind of guy."

"I was thinking, you know, a heartfelt speech from a former First order trooper about how awful it is, and why you defected—that might do the trick." Poe gave a half-hearted shrug. "Nah, forget it. The Minister thought Rey would be a good choice, but she's never done anything like that, and—"

"I'll do it," said Rey quietly.

All four of them turned to stare at her. "You said you didn't want to," said Poe.

"I didn't say I didn't want to, I said I couldn't," Rey corrected him. "But the Minister was right. If anyone is going to sway the opinion of the Senate, it has to be someone who gives everyone hope. That's what I have to be." She raised her chin a little stubbornly. "I'm the Jedi," she said. "So even if I can't, I have to try."

Poe smiled and grasped her arm. "We're gonna write you a speech," he promised. "A great speech. It's gonna knock their socks off."

Finn turned to Rose. "You stay safe down there and take care of yourself," he told her.

"Of course I will, dummy," she said, smiling. She stood on her toes to kiss him.

Poe took the opportunity to kneel down, level with BB-8. "Okay, buddy," he said to the little droid. "I have an important mission for you, too."

BB-8 burbled in excitement, its dome shaking as it focused on Poe.

"I want you to go with Rose and Kaydel, okay? Go with them and keep an eye on everyone. They're gonna make their reports through you."

BB-8 stilled quite quickly, still staring at Poe, then made a tragic little mournful sound and let its dome slip forward and down, evoking a human hanging its head in sadness.

"No, don't be like that. Hey. It's not goodbye forever." Poe patted his little friend on the head. "I promise you'll be fine." A small string of frightened-sounding burbles escaped, and Poe chuckled. "No, there are no droid-eating monsters in the lower levels. If there were, would I send you down there? Huh?"

BB-8 brightened a little and beeped some more. "Yes," said Poe. "You'll be perfectly safe. Check in twice a day and if you miss the schedule I'll come find you, okay?"

Satisfied, the little round droid followed Connix and Rose out to the lobby, looking back and beeping at Poe.

"It'll be fine!" called Poe, waving. "Have fun!"

The doors to the turbolift slid shut, and Poe whirled on Finn. "We have something very important to tell you," he said, clapping his hand to Finn's shoulder. "Nobody knows yet, so you'll be the first."

"You, uh, might want to sit down," said Rey anxiously, catching Poe's drift.

Finn looked from Poe to Rey, then back to Poe, and his brow furrowed. "What? What is it?"

"Look. Nobody can know yet," said Rey hurriedly, glancing at Poe. "Nobody in the Resistance, anyway. And you aren't in the Resistance, technically, so—"

"Oh, no. Are you—are you  _pregnant_?" Finn said, eyes gone wide and white as a couple of moons.

Rey gurgled in shock. "I—am I _what?"_

"Finn, buddy. No." Poe was trying to hide his laughter, one hand over his mouth. "No, nobody is pregnant. This is, um. A little more complicated."

Finn sat on the sofa rather hard and covered his face with his hands.  "Give it to me, then."

"Kylo Ren is on Coruscant," said Rey very quickly, beet-red. "He's here, he's secretly on our side, and he's working to dismantle the First Order politically from the inside."

Finn stared at her, his mouth open. "How do you know this? What—how do you trust him when he almost got you killed?"

"I—that was a mistake," said Rey, stuttering.

"That guy is a maniac," Finn said. "I know, because I worked for him. There's no way you're even thinking about trusting him to do anything."

"Look, he's got a thing for Rey," said Poe. "He showed up last night, big drunk mess, apologies for days."

"He was  _here?_ " Finn gaped. "In our _apartment_?"

"And then we ran into him at the office—look, we just have to play nice with him for another week," Rey said. "He's not going to murder anyone. If you don't trust him, trust me."

Finn shook his head. "You don't know that. The last time I saw that man he called me a traitor and carved up my back with that saber of his like it was a roast. I don't trust him as far as I can kick him."

"He killed Snoke," Rey said. "He killed Snoke because Snoke wanted him to kill me. Did you know that?"

"No," said Finn quietly.

"He sliced him in half and helped me destroy the guards. He's changing. He's breaking free." Rey earnestly seized Finn's hand. "We can do this. We can fix it. Kylo Ren working with us will be the catalyst that changes the course of the war."

"So you're the bait," said Finn. "You're dangling yourself to get him to bite."

"No," said Rey. "It isn't a trap. I want him free. I want him away from the shadow that's been over him his whole life." She looked down. "Please, Finn. Promise me you'll at least try to be cordial in public."

"You're too compassionate for your own good," said Finn heavily, and squeezed her hand. "But if you think this will work…I'll be on your side."

"Okay, now that that's out of the way," said Poe. "Tonight we have a dinner at the Sullustan Embassy, hosted by Senator Rien To in honor of General Organa's memory, featuring about forty other senators from various planets that we absolutely have to impress if we want their votes. So… let's all try to relax for the day, okay?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a Ko-Fi! If you like my writing please consider tossing me a tip at ko-fi.com/urulokid <3


	27. The Aionomica

Rey, changed back into dark comfortable clothing and a cloak that hooded her face, slipped into the turbolift. Poe and Finn had gone off to some overly-expensive spa, and she'd told them she'd stay in the apartment and study the Jedi texts (smuggled off the Falcon by Chewie, thank the Force).

Which. Well, it wasn't a lie. She wasn't going to leave 500 Republica. And she _was_ going to study the texts. They were very safely secured in the bag under her arm.

The lift stopped at floor 890, and she stepped out, shocked at how easy it had been to override the security failsafes with the Force. This apartment wasn't quite as airy as theirs, but it was cozy and dim. The lobby was decorated in smooth, shining black stone, the walls matte gray. It was slightly colder here than in their apartment.

She reached out with the Force, hoping it wasn't empty, and sensed Kylo Ren's presence somewhere. No one else, just him. Unwilling to call out, she edged into the living area, a small, warmly decorated space with a fire blazing, illuminating the room with soft golden light. The HoloNet screen was switched off, and there was a black cloak tossed carelessly over the arm of one of the two very expensive sofas.

Rey took her cloak off and laid it next to the discarded one. She checked her reflection in the mirror on the wall and took off her jacket as well, folding it and setting it on the chair beside her. Her sleeveless shirt and long, tight-fitting pants were varying shades of gray, black sensible boots on her feet, and she'd opted to leave her hair loose, combed out of the loop Beauty-Six had arranged it in earlier.

 _You look fine,_ she told herself, and heard movement in the bedroom, the one with the door ajar. Quickly, she crossed to the other couch, crossed her legs, rethought that, crossed them the other way, and set the books on her lap, leaning to the left and propping her chin up with her left hand, trying to look casual.

The door slid open, and Kylo Ren brought himself up short and froze, staring at her. He had obviously just returned from his outing, as he was halfway through taking off his high-collared, thick black tunic. It hung off one shoulder, revealing his loose, almost transparent, linen-colored undershirt. She could see the lines of his waist and chest through the fabric.

"Hey," she said casually.

"What are you _doing_ here?" he asked stiffly, jaw clenching.

Okay. Not the reception she'd expected. "I, um, brought you something," she said, and laid her hand on the ancient books. "I'm stuck on a phrase in this one about the celestial bodies and the Force. I wondered if you could help me."

Kylo took a step closer, his black hair gleaming in the light from the fire. "You didn't come here about a book," he said. "Are you alone?"

"Are _you_?" she asked.

"I—yes." He finished shrugging off his black tunic and tossed it onto the couch. "You looked nice today," he said after a moment. "In the Minister's lobby, I mean. How did your meeting go?"

Rey shrugged. "So-so. We have some fancy dinner tonight. I don't think you got an invite. So I won't run into you later where we can talk freely."

Kylo raised an eyebrow. "And what did you want to _speak freely_ with me about?" He crossed his arms, and Rey unconsciously stiffened, her back straight. "Most people have to wait a long time to speak with the Supreme Leader of the First Order, Master Jedi. You have some nerve barging into my private quarters." His voice was deep, quiet and soft, a hint of danger there.

"I've never been one to stand on ceremony, Supreme Leader," Rey shot back. The hair was standing up on her arms in spite of herself.

"No, that you have not," he mused, looking her over.

"Although I seem to remember in our last private meeting, _you_ were the one not standing on ceremony," she said pointedly, and he looked down, slightly flustered.

"Yes. I behaved poorly. I—I am grateful for your help in that regard," he said.

"Do you remember what I said?" she asked.

"You forgave me," he said quietly. "Yes, I do."

"So why are you still standing over there?" Rey asked, one eyebrow lifting.

A moment passed, the time it took to breathe, and Kylo strode over, never breaking eye contact with her. He reached the couch and knelt in front of her, looking up at her under his hair. One hand came up briefly and touched her knee, then jerked away, as if he didn't know where to put it. "Rey," he said roughly. "Please. Tell me what to do. Tell me what you want from me."

Rey shoved the priceless books to the side and scooted forward, reaching out and caressing the side of his face. He leaned into it, much as he had when he'd been drunk. "Tell you what to do?" she asked softly, stroking hair out of his face with the other hand.

"Anything. Please. I'll do anything you ask," Kylo said. "Just don't go. Don't go. You're the only good thing I have left."

She leaned down and kissed his forehead, lips pressed to his warm skin. He exhaled shakily, and she felt his hot breath reach down the front of her shirt. "This apartment is secure?" she asked, whispering into his hair.

"Yes," he said, voice gone dark, his hands migrating to her knees, resting on her thighs, the heat of his hands soaking through the fabric, into her skin. "Yes. Nobody can get in. If anyone tries I'll destroy them on sight."

Which, you know, _really_ shouldn't have affected her as much as it did. Rey swallowed. "Be still my heart," she said sarcastically, pulling back.

Ren's eyes flickered up and met hers, and she knew he saw—"You liked when I said that," he said, one eyebrow lifting.

"Kylo," she said, half-warning. "Don't. I—I also came to tell you—the Resistance, we have a plan—"

"I don't care about the Resistance, or the First Order, or any of it," he growled, his hands tightening by a fraction on her thighs. She could sense the half-frantic desperation within him, clouding his judgement. "I just want you."

"Let go of me," Rey ordered, and he froze, then quickly released her legs. "Scoot back." Kylo obeyed, not without an expression of slight irritation. "This is important, and I don't want you to get distracted."

"If you're going to tell me about your Senate speech, I already know about that," he said, kneeling with his hands splayed out on his thighs.

"Oh," said Rey, and frowned. "Who told you?"

He shrugged. "I certainly won't be alerting Hux to the fact, if that's what you're afraid of. The person I received the information from is some low-level spy. They don't have the ability or the inclination to go behind my back."

Rey closed her eyes, faintly relieved. "You won't tell him," she said, gripping the sofa.

"Never," he said, and inched forward. "You still don't trust me."

"It's a process," she told him. "I forgive you, but trust—that might come later, or—or—" She swallowed. "My head tells me I shouldn't."

"And what about your heart; what does that tell you?" he said softly, looking up at her, kneeling at her feet.

"I—" And she knew he was looking. She felt him seek her out, and find her thoughts, and pull out—

"Your heart wants _me_ ," he whispered, half-shocked; she shut her eyes, a sudden wave of shame hitting her.

"It shouldn't," she whispered, hot tears gathering. " _I_ shouldn't. But I do. I do, Kylo."

A soft mouth on her thigh startled her into opening her eyes. He was kissing her, still kneeling. He rose up on his knees, his head level with her belly, and let his nose trace across that, too. "Don't be ashamed," he whispered, hot on her shirt, down to her skin. "It's just us."

"Stand up," she said, and he stood, towering over her, close and large and solid. Rey looked up at him, then stood herself, hesitantly pressing her hands to his chest. He was warm. 

"Don't be afraid of me," he whispered again, bending to press his forehead to hers. "Trust me."

"I'm working on it," she whispered, and pressed her body to his, her arms winding around his broad chest, hands gripping his shoulders. He didn't move, but a soft sigh rumbled through his chest. She tucked her head into the hollow under his chin, just at his throat. "Ren," she whispered, and finally, his arms came up and encircled her, holding her tight and close and warm.

"Let me get this off," he murmured as he leaned back and yanked off his shirt. Rey spread her hands apart, tracing his naked shoulders, his arms, his chest, the scars. "I forgot how _big_ you were," she said sheepishly, and Kylo made a little sound that might have been laughter, then gathered her back into his arms, finding her mouth and kissing her; gently at first, hesitant and soft, then quickly progressing into teeth and tongue as his body caught up with the proceedings.

Quickly, Rey leaned back and yanked her shirt and bra (a strange new thing BU-T6 had brought her) off. Her hands found the clasp on his pants, and undid it, trying to yank them down as he moaned softly into her hair, hands touching everything he could find. " _Reeyyy_ ," he groaned, half-pleading, as she broke the kiss and struggled with his pants.

"Just—here, touch these for a second," she said, laughing, taking his hands and pressing them to her breasts. "Let me get your kriffing pants off."

His hands lifted and squeezed, and he bent his head to lick and bite. Rey squealed and arched her back, still struggling with his pants. "I swear to _hell_ ," she managed, and finally got them partially down, exposing his rounded, pale behind to the light. Both her hands clapped down on his rear and squeezed hard, nails digging in.

Kylo Ren groaned and clutched at her, fumbling with her pants and yanking them down, then lifted her completely off the ground, pulling her to him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he stumbled, carrying her, up to the high table sitting against the wall by the fireplace. With one sweep of his arm, Kylo knocked everything off it in a crash and tinkle of broken and expensive knick-knacks, and set Rey firmly down on the surface, still kissing her as he pulled her trousers down and off her ankles, throwing them over his shoulder.

One hand fiddled with his pants, shoving them down to his knees, and she broke the kiss to peer down at his dick, which was flushed red at the tip. "I want," she moaned, and reached down, her own hand around it. He was rock-hard, straining.

"Yeah?" he gasped, clumsily bracing himself on the table.

"Yes," she whispered, and pulled him close, yanked her underwear out of the way, lined him up, and gripped his shoulders, groaning as he pushed into her. There was no pain, no resistance. She was soaking wet, almost dripping, tight and hot as he pushed—

Rey realized she was seeing his mind, and clutched at his back as he began to thrust, hard and deep. The table rattled and thumped. Kylo let out a half-snarl and gripped her closer, his hips slamming into her.

Rey raked her blunt, short nails across his back, and he growled out a warning little, "Rey."

"Harder," she demanded, her thighs tightening on him. "Harder, _harder_."

Kylo yanked her off the table and kissed her with savage force, crushing her to him with one arm and finding the wall with the other. "Harder?" he asked harshly, and flipped her as if she was a doll, pressing her chest to the wall, jerking her underwear off her body, and re-entering from behind, pressing himself in as deeply as he could.

Rey let out a very embarrassing sound and clapped her hand over her mouth. This angle was something entirely new. Somewhere, deep inside her, he was rubbing up against something that made her—

"Ren," she gasped. "I'm going to piss myself."

"No, you're not," he growled, and started thrusting again, one hand over hers on the wall, the other wrapped around her midsection. "You're going to come for me. You're going to trust me."

Rey arched her back, every nerve alight, unable to stop herself from taking in more and more. "Aah, _please please please_ ," she gasped, blindly scrabbling back for him, hand buried in his hair. She felt his teeth lock down hard on the curve of her left shoulder: a primal, animalistic gesture. His free right hand crept down and found her front, the tiny bundle of nerves there, and began to stroke it. Rey could feel his tongue pressed up against her skin.

She shrieked behind her own hand and shook like a leaf as her body raced toward the finish. "I _can't_ —" she managed, and then she did. Every muscle in her belly clamped down at once with her climax, and a rush of heat—no,  _liquid,—_ evacuated her nether regions, soaking her thighs, Kylo's thighs, the carpet below, and the wall. Rey trembled with effort as every wave of firing neurons brought another hot gush, and she moaned, her legs shaking as the last pulse ebbed.

Kylo lowered her carefully to the floor, her legs wobbling as they bent at the knee. He pulled her back, roughly combing her hair back from her face and kissed her cheek. "I've got you," he said gently, a rumble in her ear. He rolled her over carefully onto the carpet so that she was on her stomach, his dick still inside her, and pressed his hands to the soft plush, locking his elbows, canting his hips, and driving himself home again.

Rey gasped and raised her head, clutching at his wrists. "Oh, Force," she moaned through a mess of sweaty hair plastered to her face. She was still wet, her flesh aching as it parted again. "Please. Don't stop."

"Can't," he managed, his hips slamming into her again and again, rough and punishing. "I'm almost—I'm—Rey— _Rey—_ "

She twisted her neck around to see Kylo's face, which tightened in an expression of near-pain, teeth bared as he thrust again and again, then going slack as he came down, his mouth slightly open, hair stuck to his face. His head bent forward, hiding his face in a mass of black hair, and he let out a soft, exhausted sound.

Slowly, he pulled out of her and collapsed to her right, panting, sweat gleaming on his face and back. Rey rolled onto her right side and let her eyes half-close, exhausted. Gradually, his breathing evened and she felt his fingers delicately tracing a course up the soft skin on the back of her left arm.

Rey opened her eyes and saw him lying there facing her, illuminated by the fire, his left arm tucked in close to his chest and his pants comically still tangled around his calves. "Um," she said hoarsely, and shut her eyes again. "I think you broke the table."

"Probably," he said, voice soft and low, relaxed and liquid. "Sorry if I frightened you with the, um. Thing. Are you okay?"

"You did sort of warn me," she reminded him, and reached one hand down curiously, probing her damp skin. "I think your carpet's a lost cause, too. Where did you figure out how to do that?"

"Holobook," he said, and rolled over on his back. "It had all kinds of instructions for…um, erotic situations such as these." He glanced sideways and caught her stunned expression. "Well, I had to do something in my spare time on the _Finalizer_."

Rey lowered her gaze and reached out, her fingers brushing the scar on his chest. "Well, in your spare time _here_ , go get me some water. I don't know about you, but I'm _really_ thirsty."

He chuckled and heaved himself up, yanking his pants back up and securing them around his waist. "Oof," he said. "Be right back."

Rey closed her eyes, relishing the languid sleepiness that crept over her and the well-exercised feeling in her legs as she listened to the water running in the kitchen. Kylo came back with two glasses and set one on the coffee table, gulping the other one down.

She sat up, wincing, and drank as he set his glass down and stretched out, still sweating a little, on the lush carpet in front of the fire. "Celestial bodies," he said, and snorted.

"What time is it?" she asked suddenly, slightly worried.

He opened one eye and glanced at the chronometer on the wall. "Noon. Why?"

"Finn and Poe went to some spa, and they were going to be back in two hours. I left…half an hour ago. So I'm still on time." Rey relaxed.

"They don't know you're here?" he asked, turning his head over to look at her.

"No. I told them I was going to be studying the ancient Jedi texts." Rey indicated the books. "I thought—well. I thought you might want to read them with me. I've only gotten through the one that goes over how to build a lightsaber. There's one on the balance of the Force, but like I said, there's a passage I don't—"

She was interrupted by Kylo swiftly sitting up and staring at the books. "You—you have the _original_ Jedi texts from the first Temple?" He stood and crossed to the sofa, back to her, practically vibrating out of his skin with excitement. "How did you _get_ these?"

"Luke had them," she said. "Ooh, your back."

"My—" He twisted, trying to see his back. "What about my back?"

"Nothing, I just—erm, well, you'll see in a mirror soon enough." Rey blushed. "What was—oh, right. They were in a tree on Ahch-To. I stole them before I left the island."

"You—you stole them?" Kylo swiveled around to stare at her.

"Scavenger," she said, indicating herself with a flourish. "Plus, I needed them more than he did."

Kylo lifted one of the volumes and opened it with great care, his broad fingers tracing the emblem of the Jedi in gold ink on the paper. "This is the Aionomica. It's priceless," he said. "Just writing, you know, ink and paper—it's a lost art. I learned how, but that was a long time ago."

"It's thousands and thousands of years old," said Rey. "Here—" She thumbed it open and pointed to a page, interlocking blue and gold circles, shapes and unfamiliar characters. "This is where I was stuck."

Kylo squinted down. "It's a bunch of prose, is all," he said. "It basically says 'the day is good' or maybe that's, uh, wanted, desirable, worthy? 'the night is bad,' probably could be translated as frightening, unworthy, unknown? And then, 'but the most treasured of all is the dusk and the dawn'. You see the spheres?" He pointed. "Those are the conceptualizations of light and dark. Gold for light, blue for night. There's also a waxing and waning moon chart here—I think one of the moons of Ahch-To, though I'm sure it's out of alignment by now."

"Right, I can read it, I just thought it was weird to have a passage about dusk and dawn on a page that's full of star charts," explained Rey. "See, this—" she pointed to a circular graph with multiple circles inside it—"this is obviously some kind of planetary body movement chart. Dusk and dawn don't really have anything to do with planetary body movement and position. That's more like…you know, the passage of time, or the rotation of the planet, and there's nothing scientific about the passage either. No specifics, no notes on dusk or dawn."

Kylo Ren frowned and drummed his fingers on the sofa. "Let's say I am an ancient Jedi and I'm trying to tell people something important, but it's not accepted by the people approving my book. How would I say it?"

Rey gnawed her lip. "I guess you'd put it in a riddle or something and expect people to figure out your meaning themselves, but give yourself enough plausible deniability that your higher-ups wouldn't figure it out."

"Exactly." Kylo scanned the page again and turned the page forward, then back. "Everywhere else in the book, day and night are framed in terms of the light and dark sides of the Force."

Rey's brow furrowed. "But if they're talking about dusk and dawn…do they mean a period where the light is giving over to the dark? Or the dark giving into the light? How could they call _both_ of those treasured?"

Kylo clapped his hand to his forehead. "Oh!" he said. "Gray Jedi!"

"What Jedi?" Rey asked, baffled.

"Gray Jedi!" Kylo pointed at the book. "They're—right, so you know the Sith used the dark side. The Jedi used the light side. The Gray Jedi are something in between. I only know about them from really old history—anyway, the—I'm telling this all wrong. Hold on."

Kylo slid to the floor and took several slow breaths. "The Force," he began, slow and even, "connects all living things. What we do with the Force, how we draw it from ourselves to use it, is what makes it dark or light. The Jedi believed in cutting all ties with family, lovers—they believed in eliminating passion from the lives of their members and seeking only peace. The Sith sought to harness passion, and it burned through them like fire. But the Gray Jedi saw that without passion, peace is only lethargy, and without peace, passion is only madness. You must have both to maintain balance, which is what the Gray Jedi sought above all things. Balance in the Force."

"I see why the Jedi wanted their ideas suppressed," said Rey.

"Well, the Jedi are gone now," Kylo said. "Their apathy led to their own destruction. The Sith are gone. Their madness led to theirs. The Emperor's passion for power blinded him and he was defeated in the end. Darth—my grandfather, Vader." A twitch of emotion caught at his lip. "He was the one supposed to bring balance. I guess he did, in a very roundabout way. Since his son is dead and you're not really a Jedi and I—I'm not really a Sith."

"Are we… Gray Jedi?" Rey asked. "I mean. Learning to balance the Force with elements of both sides sort of mixed in seems like it might work better and be more stable than just—an all or nothing sort of philosophy. Like politics. You have to have both sides of an argument and compromise to make a good choice." Something popped into her memory. "Luke—he told me that it was folly to imagine the Jedi ever had some sort of monopoly on the light side of the Force. Maybe this is what I'm supposed to be."

Kylo Ren looked her over. "You have great capacity for darkness," he said softly. "I can sense that even as I sit here now. It's why I was so sure you would turn to me. Why I believed Snoke's false vision."

Rey said nothing. She looked at her hands.

"Do you know why the Jedi took only children?" he asked. "They thought they could stamp out all attachment, all connection, all passion: the earlier the better. If you'd been born decades ago, you wouldn't be who you are now, but I'm willing to bet you'd be a powerful Jedi."

"Forget power," she said. "I wouldn't be _me_ if I decided to break off all my attachments and go live on a rock like some hermit—" Memories of Luke hit her, and she choked off her sentence, suddenly emotional. "Sorry."

"I think you'd better go get ready for your big night," Kylo said, not unkindly. "You've had an exerting morning."

Rey rolled her eyes. "Hilarious," she said. "Where are my underthings?"

"I think I kicked them under the sofa," he said, and bent to look as she began to gather her clothes.

"Oh—Ren," she said suddenly, her shirt half on. "Thank you for the help. With the book. It was very insightful."

Kylo inclined his head in acknowledgement. "Thank you for bringing it. I hope—I hope you come again soon."

She glanced back at him, yanking her jacket on. "With or without the books?"

"With—I—" he stammered, and she laughed all the way to the lift.


	28. Dressed for Dinner

Back in her apartment, Rey slipped inside the living area and breathed a sigh of relief as she looked around and saw no one. Quickly, she stepped across the living area to her bedroom door, and—

"Wrarrgghh," said Chewbacca accusingly, stepping out from behind the sofa.

"Oh, hey," she said, her heart in her throat.

He narrowed his eyes and barked out, _You smell like him._

Rey backed up into the wall and swallowed hard. "Yes. Well. I guess Poe didn't think to bring you up to speed on the…situation."

_What situation?_

"Kylo Ren is on our side," she whispered. "Secretly. He's going to try to work within the First Order to bring it down. You can't tell anyone."

Chewbacca stared at her and shook his head furiously. _Impossible. He's a traitor! You can't expect—_

"Look, I already got this argument from Finn, I don't need to hear it again!" she snapped. "Just promise me if you happen to see him on the street or at the Senate or wherever, that you won't rip his head off or something. That's all. Please."

The Wookie made a soft, pained noise and sank down on the couch, his knees sticking up comically due to his height. _He can't come back to us,_ he said. _He can't be a Solo again._

"He's not going to be," she told him. "We're thinking—well, I won't say it because it might not happen. But he knows he can't go back to his old life."

Chewbacca wasn't listening. _Do you know how happy Han was when he was born?_ His large, brown eyes found Rey's. _I've lived a long time, little Rey. I fought in the wars of the Clones, on Kashyyyk. I've never seen a man as proud or a woman so happy as when Ben Solo was born on Chandrila._

Rey listened.

 _He wasn't born with teeth, like the stories all said. He was tiny, bald, toothless. Just a little pink blob of a cub, cried so loud I had to sit in the next room._ Chewbacca let out a yip that might have been a sad little laugh. _But he finally slept, and Han brought him out to me. I was afraid to hold him. I'd never held a human cub. He opened his eyes, and he looked at me and he wasn't afraid. He had blue eyes, dark blue. Like the sky at dusk. And he wasn't afraid._ Chewbacca looked down, remembering. _I'm the only one who remembers that now. Who remembers what he used to be._ Another little barking laugh escaped. _Once he tried to stow away on the Falcon in the secret compartments so he wouldn't have to go with his uncle to learn the Jedi path. Han found him before we even took off. That boy never wanted to be a Jedi. There was too much emotion, too much heart. He felt too much._

"He's like his father," Rey said.

 _And yet a Skywalker,_ said Chewbacca. _Luke once told me that his father's fate was decided by the toss of a chance cube. I think now the galaxy waits to see how the chance cube falls._

Rey hesitated for a second, then hugged Chewbacca tightly, burying her face in his fur. "Please don't think less of me for wanting him to come back," she whispered, tears choking her.

 _Never, little Rey._ Chewbacca wrapped his long arms around her and squeezed. _But I'm not sorry for shooting him._

She laughed and drew back. "I don't blame you a bit."

He wrinkled his nose. _You really do need a good grooming. You stink like pheromones._

"Oh, kark," she said under her breath, and stepped back. "Um, I'll just go wash up then."

Chewie barked a laugh and waved her off as she headed for her room. _Don't forget behind your ears._

She stuck her tongue out at him and closed the door behind her, looking forward very much to a bath and a nap.

~

Rey opened her closet doors and took a deep breath. "I think I can do this myself," she told the hovering BU-T6. "I'll just need you for the hair. And thank you for the makeup." Her face had been carefully made up to look natural, eyes enhanced by a brown liner, cheeks and lips painted a rosy pink.

"As you wish, mistress," said BU-T6, and backed away, fussing with the combs. Rey reached into the closet and pulled out the dress she'd been eyeing for the past hour.

"You can wear this," she said to herself, and shed her robe, throwing on the dress and securing the top with the silver neckpiece that wrapped around her bust and throat to hold it in place there. It was a sheer, layered gown trimmed in light gray satin at the sleeves and the neck—well, not really a _neck_ so much as the part that clung just above her chest as if she had a towel tucked under her arms. It left her shoulders and upper arms completely bare, flowing down to her feet and down her arms in a gradient of pale gray to nearly black chiffon.

Rey turned and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and thought, _I've never felt so exposed in my entire life._ Fortunately the dress wasn't _very_ transparent, but the inability to wear a breast covering was rather obvious through the sheer fabric at the very top, where the silver band divided her torso and stretched the fabric tight against her chest. Not that one could see much, since there was thankfully a thicker satin piece sewn to the underside of the torso for modesty, and the fabric only was really sheer at the very bottom, but Rey felt a little odd.  "Beauty-Six, how do I look?" she called. The droid rolled up eagerly and circled her.

"Oh, you look lovely. Yes. Here." BU-T6 rummaged in the jewelry box and brought out a high collar of delicate silver work, fastening it around her throat. "Makes you look taller. Draws attention to the face a little. Hair?"

"Please," said Rey, and the droid lifted and sprayed and combed and twisted until Rey's hair was pulled into a loose, elegant bun atop the back of her head, the hair in the front parted in the middle, teased up and pulled back gently, enough to frame her forehead. "Oh, I like that," she said, turning her head from side to side. "You really are good at this, Beauty-Six."

The droid almost preened. "Well. Always nice to have a mistress who appreciates a classic look, I say." She rolled back. "Oh, shoes. Get the white pair of evening slippers, the ones with the silver edging. They'll match nicely. And try not to step in an oil puddle."

"Oil puddle," said Rey, shaking her head. "We're having dinner in an embassy, not a hangar."

Beauty-Six was already wheeling out the door to see if anyone else needed a personal hair stylist. Rey picked up the slippers in the closet and shoved her feet into them, grabbing a thick white cloak with a hood from the back. It was fortunately the kind that draped about her shoulders and had no sleeves, so the fine chiffon wouldn't crinkle. She stepped back, admired the effect, and headed to the living room.

Finn was already waiting, looking very fine. He was dressed in yet another black suit, white tie, and black boots. "You look—wow," he said.

"I know," said Rey, shrugging the cloak on. "I thought—well, white is what people wear to mourn on Jakku. Because it's so rare that anyone can keep anything white clean. It's a sign of respect."

"Oh, that's sweet," said Finn. "Leia would have been honored." He checked his chrono. "I think Poe is having his hair styled. Beauty-Six is having the time of her life in there."

"Yours looks nice," said Rey. "I've got to go to that spa. What did they do, shave a line into your—"

"Oh, yeah," said Finn, grinning. He turned to the side, pointing to the triangular design of three intersecting lines shaved finely into the side of his head, his hair going from close-cropped at the bottom to fuller at the top. "I'm loving it. Fresh fade, full-body skin conditioning, massage, Bantha butter hair cream. I am _glowing._ "

"And so humble about it, too," she teased, and he rolled his eyes.

Poe emerged from the bedroom, hair a glossy dark wave parted on one side. His hair had also been trimmed short on the sides, short enough to not touch the collar of his dress uniform. "Don't you two look fancy," he said, slightly disgruntled.

"Cologne!" said BU-T6, following him out and waving a tiny bottle.

"No!" said Poe, pointing at her. She rolled toward him and he leaped back, then hid behind Finn. "I told you, no cologne, it gives me a headache!"

"Aw, leave it, Beauty-Six," said Finn. "We'll live without perfume for one night."

The droid rolled in a small circle and looked at them. "Well, don't be late," she said, rather imperiously, and rolled back into Poe's room.

"Oh, thank the Force," said Poe, letting go of Finn's dinner coat. "Okay, let's get out of here before she changes her mind and tries to dump that stink all over me."

Rey giggled. "Where's Chewie?"

"Waiting in the lobby with the droids, c'mon," said Poe, and they all set out.


	29. Dinner at the Embassy

The Sullust Embassy was located in the Political Sector, only a couple of klicks away from the Senate building. Threepio and Artoo followed closely behind Chewbacca, who loomed over the three humans like some furry harbinger of doom as they entered the building through the large arch that led to the landing platform, already crowded with expensive speeders.

"Your…bodyguard?" asked a polite, pink-skinned Twi'lek in a uniform who was checking the guest list.

Poe opened his mouth to retort, but just as he did, a large Sullustan in a black suit appeared and said something excitedly in Sullustese.

"Yes," said Rey, smiling. "This is indeed Chewbacca the Wookie, a close friend of General Organa."

The Sullustan bowed and switched to Basic. "I am honored to meet you, Chewbacca," he said, and the Wookie barked back.

Rey looked at him. "He says the honor is his, Senator."

"Oh, you're our host!" said Finn.

"Yes, yes. Please, do come along." Rien To indicated with his arm, and they followed. "I must insist you take a place of honor, Chewbacca. You were close to the late General." Chewie nodded in agreement, Rey at his side. "And you, Master Jedi, should sit close by. Your translation skills may be needed."

"I'd be happy to," said Rey.

"And you, the defected trooper!" The senator shook Finn's hand eagerly. "You are most welcome. I trust you find our little party a more welcome setting than, perhaps, the FIrst Order."

"Oh, very much," said Finn, relaxing.

"Your coats?" asked a human aide, holding out his hands. Rey shrugged out of her white cloak and handed it to him.

"Thank you," she said, and saw a few heads turn. At least tonight she wasn't in red.

"I must bring to attention the heroics of our own Sullustan pilot, Nien Nunb," said Poe as they continued into the enormous sitting area, crowded with glittering guests. "He flew well in the attack on Starkiller Base. Truly a credit to your planet."

"Ah, yes," said Rien To. "Shame he was a smuggler before that, hm." He waved down a waiter and handed Rey a tall, thin glass of something very bubbly and iridescent-colored. "Sullustan champagne," he explained, and raised his glass. "To peace and prosperity."

She raised it, and he clinked his glass to hers, then sipped. "I must say, my dear, I was relieved to see you here. There is a particular guest who made his way in due to—well, an oversight, but I cannot turn him away without causing great insult. A delicate situation, you see. He has every right to be here, but there are many here who would prefer he not be." Rien To dabbed at his upper jowls with a large napkin.

"Oh, dear," said Rey. "How can I help?"

"Stay close beside me and be on your guard," he said, and chuckled. "There is a good faith agreement binding him to behave appropriately, but—"

"Eyes up, ten hundred," said Finn tensely, across from her, and Rey frowned.

"I don't know what that m—"

Artoo let out a metallic shriek and whirred about so fast smoke spurted from his wheels, hiding behind Threepio. Chewbacca tensed and let out a short, sharp bark that Rey heard as _You!_

"I believe," she said calmly, as the room went quiet and all eyes focused on their group, "I know who your guest may be."

Rien To swallowed hard. Rey looked over her shoulder and turned, looking up into the face of—

"Good evening, Supreme Leader," she said, inclining her head slightly.

Kylo Ren's eyes darted from her to the Senator to the droids, to Finn, Poe, and lastly to Chewbacca, who was standing frozen. "Good evening," he said, slightly awkwardly, and nodded toward Poe. "General. I trust your meeting this morning went well."

Poe stepped forward, trying to avoid a scene. "Yes, it did," he said. "I haven't introduced—this is Finn." He clapped Finn firmly on the shoulder. The other man had gone somewhat ashen under his dark complexion.

"Yes, we are acquainted," said Kylo Ren quietly. "I knew you once as FN-2187. I am pleased to see you are recovered from your—from the wounds I gave you on Starkiller."

Finn opened his mouth, then closed it, then looked over at Rey as if to say, _are you kriffing kidding me?_

Rey stepped forward, smiling. "Laugh as if I said something funny," she gritted out between her teeth at Kylo. "Everyone is staring at us."

Kylo let his face break into a real-looking smile and chuckled warmly, and the atmosphere in the room relaxed considerably. People started talking again, glasses clinking.

Rein To closed his large black eyes and opened them again. "Thank heavens for a young lady who can read a room," he said, looking sideways at Kylo. "Might I interest you in a cocktail, Supreme Leader?"

"No, thank you," said Kylo. "I have discovered in the last several days that intoxicants and I do not go hand-in-hand."

"Oh, _do_ tell," said Rey, looking as concerned as she could. Poe hid his face in his sleeve and pretended to cough.

"They dull my senses," Kylo said, quite dangerously.

"Your fashion sense seems to have escaped without harm," said Rey, lifting the sparkling, rainbow colored drink to her lips and sipping as she looked him over. He was out of his customary black, dressed instead in gray trousers and high-throated tunic. His long ribbed sleeves were also gray, although his boots, gloves, and belt were still black leather. Over his shoulders flowed a long black cloak, clasped at the throat with a large, triangular silver brooch. Looking closely, she saw that his tunic had delicate gray embroidery at the hem.

"As the only living relation of General Organa," he informed her, "I'm obligated to be here. And she—" his voice caught briefly, and he cleared his throat. "She always hated black."

Rey looked away to give him a little space for a moment and hailed an aide. "Will you please take the Supreme Leader's cloak?" she asked. "I don't believe anyone asked him if they might take it yet."

"Oh, erm. Yes, Madame Jedi," stammered the aide, looking half-terrified, and took the cloak, almost running with it back to the storage room.

Kylo, composed, straightened his shoulders. "Thank you," he said formally, and looked over at Chewbacca, who was very still, just looking at him. Their eyes met, no words exchanged.

"Well," said Rien To. "I have arranged for the seating to—"

A soft bell rang out, and people began to stand and walk into the dining hall, through two enormous carved doors. "Ah, dinner is ready," said the Senator, checking his chrono. "The guests file in from least important to most. At the end, I shall escort—"

Kylo Ren quickly turned about and offered his arm to Rey. "May I escort you to dinner?" he asked quickly. Rien To gaped.

"Are you out of your _mind_?" Rey hissed between her teeth as guests filed past them, exchanging looks and whispering behind hands, paws, flippers, and various appendages.

"No, I'm quite in it. Shall we?" His gaze was steady.

"I—I'm—you interrupted the Senator," she said, and turned to Rien To. "I'm so sorry. What was it you were about to say?"

"Ah, yes. I—whether it insults the Supreme Leader or not—I shall escort Mistress Rey inside. She is, after all, my honored guest. And I shall not have her harassed or toyed with, my lord." Rien To was practically shaking with suppressed fear, but looked Kylo dead in the eyes in rightful indignation. "You are an honored guest for only one reason, and we have a good faith agreement. You shall comport yourself appropriately and conform to accepted protocol, as befits someone of your station."

Several guests paused, staring in surprise and hurrying out, or else staying put to see how the Supreme Leader reacted.

Kylo blinked, his eyes narrowed. "You are afraid of me, Senator." He tilted his head. "And yet you speak this way to me on the behalf of Madame Jedi." A small, bitter smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "So be it." He turned to Rey and bowed from the waist. "Please accept my deepest apologies for the insult you have suffered, my lady," he said, and straightened, moving toward the doors.

Chewbacca snorted to himself, and the others all relaxed.

Most of the others had filed out of the room. Rien To held out his arm and Rey hooked her hand through it. "They will announce us last," he said to her softly. "First his lordship, then your party, then the three of us."

"Who was it who invited him, anyway?" she whispered back.

"The delegates from Nar Shadda," he told her. "I had to invite them as a matter of courtesy."

Rey's eyes widened. The said delegates were already in the dining room. "One moment, I'm so sorry. My droid needs to be—Artoo!" The little blue and white astromech wheeled over. "I need you to find a place out of sight, talk to the building drive and find everything you can on Nar Shadda's representatives," she whispered to him. Louder, she said, "Would you please go find yourself a charging port? Just until dinner is over."

The droid whistled in agreement and zipped away, down a hallway. Rey tucked her hand back into the senator's arm. "Sorry. They're such old droids, you can't go a week without a part going funny."

"Oh, don't I know it." He sighed. "I always stick with the IT-45's."

A droid was droning off names from a list at the door. "His Lordship, Supreme Leader of the First Order, Heir of House Organa, Kylo Ren." Rey watched his broad back disappear through the door, then the droid was naming Poe and Finn, then finally—

"Senator Rien To, of Sullust; and Madame Jedi, Rey of Jakku."

She crossed the threshold into dazzling light, bouncing off crystal cups and plates, glittering off jewels and dresses and suits. Someone had started applauding, and the whole room followed suit as she smiled and let the Senator take her up to the head of the table, pulling out her chair and seating her directly across from Kylo Ren.

Rien To took his seat at Kylo's right, at the head, and Chewbacca sat on Rey's left, on Rien's right.

An entourage of servers began to move down the table, starting with Rien and everyone at the head. Rey looked to her right and was relieved to see Finn. Poe was unfortunately seated on Kylo Ren's left, across the table.

"What is this?" Finn whispered, looking down at his plate. The server had placed two small crackers topped with something like a paste full of tiny globes, black in color, on it.

"A snack, I think," whispered Rey. She popped the cracker into her mouth as soon as Rien To had done it first, and tried hard to not make a face as the paste dissolved and bubbled in her mouth.

Finn followed suit, face blank. Rien smiled. "How do you like the Mobus snapper foam?" he asked.

Rey smiled. "Delicious," she said heartily, and ate the other cracker. It wasn't bad once you expected the weird texture, she decided.

They got to the soup (a bright pink, vegetable broth with tiny leaves floating in it) and the fish (G'rho trout: Chewbacca had two servings) before people started finally making conversation. Rey was sure it had something to do with the wine being freely refilled at every available moment.

"So, Madame Jedi, you simply _must_ tell me all about your adventures to seek out Master Skywalker," said a woman named Oanta who Rey vaguely thought was the head of some company, but couldn't remember.

"Well, it was a very difficult process. We thought he had gone in search of the first Jedi temple," said Rey. "The map we had led us straight to a planet, very small and out of the way, which we did learn was one of the first temples."

"Ooh, you'll have to talk to Ord Garrus about that, he's an archaeologist—Ord!" Oanta waved at a handsome Zabrak with clear golden eyes. "Didn't you recently give a dissertation on the origin of the Jedi at the Academy?"

"I did," he said, dabbing at his lips. "Specifically on the motifs of the Jedi, repeated imagery. The Jedi began on various planets in various forms, but the same basic art and images are common throughout each. Truly a fascinating study."

"There was a white tree on the island," said Rey, sipping her green wine. "Five main branches on it, very dead, and very old. When I visited the Temple earlier this week, I noticed the spires—when they were standing—must have echoed that same design."

"Fascinating." Ord removed a notepad from his robes and began to take notes. Rey was pleased to see at least someone else in the universe maintained the art of writing. "What planet was it?"

"I will tell you after dinner," said Rey, smiling. "Can't be too open about secret locations in these times."

Several people laughed. Finn snorted beside her. Down the table, the Nar Shaddans glowered.

"Supreme Leader," said Rien To to Kylo Ren, "will you have some wine with your fish? It's an excellent vintage. My family's own estate."

Kylo opened his mouth like he was going to say something biting, but rethought it at the last second. "I will, thank you, Senator," he said cordially. A server darted forward to pour him a glass, and he sipped, mouthed it, swallowed. "Very good," he said, with some surprise.

Rien smiled. "The blend of herbs to make it the green color is a secret," he confided. "But it mellows, sweetens, and strengthens with age."

"I've never had green wine," confessed Rey, and heard some very wealthy-sounding shocked gasps from the rest of the table. "Jakku is in the Outer Rim!" she said with a laugh, and they all nodded. "In fact, I don't mind admitting to all you lovely people that I may have been a little overwhelmed at _Koré and Jedda_ the other night."

"Oh, my dear," said an elderly Chiss woman in white, laughing. "Such a lovely ballet, isn't it?"

"It was beautiful," said Rey. "I'd never seen a ballet before, either."

"How on earth do people on Jakku entertain themselves?" asked a younger, bored looking man halfway down the table.

"We don't. We are far too busy with surviving," said Rey, and he fell quite silent as conversation resumed, the awkward topic of poverty averted.

"How are you finding Coruscant?" asked Rien delicately, after she'd eaten the rest of her fish and Rien To had signaled for the next course. "Not too cold, I hope."

"Colder than what I'm used to," she said. "But far less dangerous."

"Well, it mustn't be that safe," remarked an orange Twi'lek woman named Ooma several seats down from Poe. "You've got a great bite mark on the back of your left shoulder. I hope you didn't run into trouble on any of your outings, Madame Jedi. We do have some unsavory characters on this planet, much as I hate to say it."

Rey felt all the blood drain from her face at once, and with great, great effort, did not look at Kylo Ren. She felt immense gratitude for the artificial color on her cheeks. "Oh, I'd almost forgotten about that by now," she said, as easily as she could force herself to while cutting a piece of poultry with her knife and fork. "To tell you the truth—though it isn't quite a dinner conversation—"

She felt the alarm and horror rushing off Kylo, and at the same time, the eagerness for gossip radiating off the guests, and even Rien To. "No, do tell us!" said Ooma, smiling. "We're at fourth course. Anything is on topic."

Rey laughed and blotted her lips with her napkin. "Well, I was taking a shuttle today around noon to see if I could find a nice library or archive to meditate in, and just as the shuttle stopped off at one of the depots, someone had leaped on me, yanked my tunic down, and bit me!"

Various cries of "oh!" and "goodness!" echoed around the table.

"Then," Rey said, looking at everyone on her end of the table (including Kylo Ren, who was controlling his face with heroic effort), "he tried to pull me out of the shuttle, but I fought him off—well, the Force comes in handy when you need it." She took a bite of her fourth course, some sort of poultry in a thin sauce, and shook her head. " _Some_ people just don't know how to control themselves."

Across the table, Kylo Ren put three pieces of poultry in his mouth at once so he didn't have to speak.

"Indeed not!" said the elderly Chiss woman. "In my day, males of any species would as soon shout you down on the street as look at you. Now I see they've just gone right on to… _biting_ , and doing unsavory things in shuttles." She tapped her fork on her plate in annoyance. "We really must do something about the underclass on this planet. More funding, that's what I would say. Schools. Teach them how to behave."

"I am very sorry that you had such an experience," said another senator, the one sitting next to Poe. This one was dressed in a white gown with a red robe over it (Gatalentan?), a pretty, middle-aged woman with light brown hair. Rey felt nothing but motherly kindness in her, and the steel at the core of a politician. "If you have time, I recommend the Mon Endu spa in the Fashion Sector. Very relaxing, and very high in demand. Tell them I sent you and you'll have no trouble booking a slot."

"Thank you, my lady," said Rey, finally remembering her name (Biss Tran) and smiling at her gently. "That's very kind of you."

~

By the seventh course (roasted reek in a blue butter baste), the conversation had shifted to politics, never a good sign.

"I've wondered for these past few days," said one of the senators from Corellia, "how on earth one attempts to politically reconcile with the civilized galaxy after destroying one of the finest systems in it."

Kylo Ren cleared his throat. "I did not give that order," he said calmly, setting his napkin down. "That was the command of Snoke, carried out by General Armitage Hux."

"This Hux," said Biss Tran. "The son of former Imperial officer Brendol Hux, am I correct? Why did he not accompany you to the surface?"

Kylo shook his head and lifted his wineglass to his lips. "He dislikes me," he said, and drank. "He holds somewhat of a grudge against me for replacing the person he saw as the… channel through which to gain glory, power, everything he wants."

"Would you have destroyed Hosnian Prime?" asked Ooma.

"No," said Kylo Ren after a moment. "No, I would not. I believe destroying a planet is an unthinkable horror, and I'm glad that our friend General Dameron here—" he indicated Poe, who looked shocked— "completed that bombing run and destroyed the oscillator, enabling the destruction of the base. I hope that never again will the galaxy see such destruction."

"Hear, hear," said the old Chiss woman, and raised her glass. Kylo looked surprised briefly, but took another drink along with most of the table.

"Tell us," said one of the Lutrillian representatives from Nar Shadda, halfway down the table, "how goes the rebuilding of your fleet? We heard that at least five of your Resurgent-class battlecruisers were destroyed when Vice-Admiral Holdo rammed the _Supremacy._ "

"Six, actually," said Kylo, taking another drink. The Nar Shaddan's face fell. Rien To signaled for eighth course. "It was a mighty blow to morale, as I've told the War Minister. We have had several defected troopers. Hux's men are not as well-trained as he thinks they are. Our friend Finn here is proof of that." He indicated Finn and took another sip of wine.

 _Please don't get drunk_ , Rey thought desperately. He was doing a wonderful job of drawing a clear line between his leadership and that of Hux, but if he kept drinking she feared a slip.

Finn nodded at the Lutrillian. "Yes. I can attest that the, uh, brainwashing they use on their troops is not completely effective. It fails."

"Brainwashing," said the second representative, and tittered. "Such a primitive term. We should think of it as discipline, as—"

"Well, I was there, and I experienced it, and I'm telling you it's brainwashing," said Finn coldly.

"Oh, look, the salad," said Rien To loudly. "Hon Neffa, what do you think?"

The second Nar Shaddan took a large bite and chewed. "Very good," he said, looking put out at the conversation change.

Poe swallowed his bite and took a sip of wine. "Maybe if the First Order continues to weaken, you'll all finally be on the Resistance's level again," he said to Kylo Ren, who choked on his wine at the self-deprecating joke, not expecting it.

The Chiss woman looked over at Rey. "My dear, would you kindly pass me the likka salt?"

Rey looked down and saw the silver canister at her elbow. "Certainly, my lady," she said politely, and with a twitch of her finger, the shaker was floating gently in the air, over the glasses, and stayed still a foot above the table so the delighted old woman could pluck it from the air.

"You _are_ a Jedi!" she said. "What a lovely trick. Thank you."

"I missed it, what happened?" called someone from down the table.

"She used the Force!" the old Chiss called down to them, blue skin flushed purple with excitement.

Across the table, Kylo Ren finished his salad and wiped his mouth. "It is my hope," he said to Poe, "that perhaps I can steer the Order in a less… _dominating_ direction, if that can be done." His eyes flickered across the table and met Rey's. She wanted to kick him, but he was too far away.

"Let's hope," said Poe heartily, missing the look, and toasted.

"Do please, excuse me," said Rey quickly to Rien To. "Where might I find, erm—"

"The restroom?" asked the Senator. "Back out the doors, go right, first door on the left."

"Thanks," she whispered, and Finn stood quickly, pulling her seat out for her as she stood and left the dining hall, out to the quiet of the hallway and into the refresher.

She was a little tipsier than she'd realized, she thought as she balanced on the commode and tried not to drop her dress into it. Once finished, she sanitized her hands and checked her reflection in the mirror, then twisted sideways to see the bite mark on her shoulder.

Yep, bruising and slightly red. Wonderful. Rey sighed and poked it, feeling a slight ache, but nothing too painful.

Back out in the hall, she found Artoo, slightly powered down in a corner. "Any updates?" she asked. He relayed a few crime rings that the Nar Shaddans had been connected to, something about the Hutts and a black market trade of Gatalentan goods. "Did the others check in yet?" Artoo confirmed, and relayed the message: they'd gotten twenty recruits, and their names and information were all recorded on BB-8's drive. "Wonderful. You're the best." She patted his dome, and he beeped, pleased.

Back in the bright lights of the banquet hall, she sat down to find she had missed course nine, and everyone was onto course ten, which was sweets from around the galaxy, featuring several delicacies from Corellia, vanished Alderaan, Sullust, and Chandrila. Rey couldn't decide which of her favorites she liked more, the sweetpuffs stuffed with berries marinated in wine, the chocolate pudding with mallowtop and creamed fruit, or the fluffy crepebreads from Alderaan, folded over every sort of filling imaginable and dusted with sugar.

Kylo didn't touch any of them.

"Is there something wrong?" asked Rien To delicately.

"My mother taught me how to make these," said Kylo, looking at the crepebreads.

The table became quite silent, all the way down to the very, very end.

Kylo looked down at his plate. "Your chef has made them incorrectly," he informed Rien To very softly. "The crepebread must be fluffier than this, light enough to melt in your mouth, and the—" He looked up, seeing Rey's face across the table. His eyes darted from her, to Finn, to Poe beside him. "They must be baked brown just at the top. I—" He faltered, and Rey, to her horror, saw tears gathering in his eyes as he quickly stood, throwing his napkin to the chair. "My apologies, Senator—excuse me—"

He retreated down the table as quickly as he could, head bent. A murmur of conversation followed in his wake as he disappeared out the great double doors.

"Oh, dear," said Rien To, genuinely distraught.

"I didn't think the boy still had such heart," said Biss gently. "To see it is…rather encouraging, don't you think?"

Rey looked down at her plate, all her appetite for the dessert gone.

~

It wasn't until after the final and eleventh course, caf and cakes, had been served, that Rey caught Finn by the elbow and whispered, "I'm going to go find him," in his ear.

"Then I'm coming with you," Finn whisspered back resolutely, not too thrilled about the prospect.

Rey waited until a few guests had stood to migrate into the receiving rooms until she leaned over and excused herself and Finn from the table. She picked up a fresh, hot cup of caf, poured a decent amount of cream into it, wrapped two cakes in a napkin, and held them in her hands carefully as she and Finn exited the dining hall. Reaching out delicately with the Force, not wanting to intrude on his mind, she sensed a wave of grief and anger from somewhere to the right.

"I think he went this way," she said, and went down the long right-hand hall until she reached the very end, a wide door that opened onto a large library, free of security holos or listening devices. The room had a large balcony, framed inside by thick curtains, and it was against one of these that Kylo Ren was sitting, planted on the floor and hunched over his knees.

Rey waved a hand and the door shut behind her. Kylo didn't move. Finn followed closely as she approached the balcony. "You missed eleventh course," she said, and sat down on the floor, heedless of the fragile dress. "Here. I brought you this." She extended her hand, the cup still clutched in it.

He raised his head and she saw his eyes, swollen and damp and reddened by crying. "How did you find me?" he asked, voice hoarse.

"Listened for the sound of reckless behavior and followed it," Finn said. Rey elbowed him and gave him a look. "Ow. I'm joking. Rey used her Jedi powers."

"We brought cake," said Rey and extended the other hand. "I think—it might be a bit mashed up by now, but it still tastes pretty good."

Kylo looked from her to Finn and accepted the caf, drinking deeply. "You're supposed to hate me," he said to Finn. "Why are you here?"

Finn exchanged a glance with Rey. "I know about your…thing," he said, unwilling to elaborate much. "And I'm… I'm sorry about your mother."

Kylo looked back at Rey. "I could have saved her. On the _Raddus._ " His voice cracked. "The others fired the torpedoes. I could have stopped them if I—if I had paid attention. But I—I wasn't. And she was sick after that, because she'd been exposed to the vacuum and—maybe if I'd been alert enough to stop them, she wouldn't have been weak, wouldn't have died on Naboo—I didn't know they were firing at her, Rey, I didn't _know—_ "

"Hey, shh," said Rey, handing the napkin to Finn and clutching Kylo's hand. "No, don't think like that. She—nothing anyone could have done would have prevented her death."

"We can't do this now," said Finn, looking back at the hallway. "Can you—Ren, can you pull it together for ten minutes?"

Kylo's face trembled for a moment, then smoothed out, calm and blank. "Yes," he said. Rey could feel the effort it was taking him to look at ease.

"Right. Big scary Supreme Leader." Finn gestured. "Go be creepy at the Nar Shaddans for a minute and make them feel like you're a good investment. And take these cakes, I'm not carrying them. This is a new suit."

Kylo took the napkin back and folded it up, tucking the cakes into a pocket. "Thank you," he said, and his dark eyes flickered up over Finn. "Why are you helping me?"

"It's—I just feel like you don't have a lot of friends," Finn said hesitantly.

Kylo's eyes narrowed. "Rey made you promise," he said.

"Rey made me promise," Finn admitted. "Come on. More hands to shake. I'll go out first and go find Artoo. We have to start getting ready to go." He stood up, took a glance back at Rey and headed out the door.

Kylo stood and took a deep breath, steadying himself as Rey stood. "You shouldn't have come looking for me," he said, voice flat and controlled. "People are going to wonder—"

"Then they can kriffing wonder," said Rey, temper flaring. "I was _worried_ about you. But if you really care that much about appearances, I'll go. Everyone's leaving the party anyway."

"I think that would be best," he said, still flat and calm. "Thank you for the cake and the caf."

"You're welcome." Rey hesitated for a second, then took his right hand in both of hers. He didn't respond, his hand unmoving. "I—I know that was difficult for you. I'm sorry."

"Someone's coming," he said quickly.

Rey, startled, immediately dropped his hand and headed for the door in a swirl of pearl-colored chiffon, unable to think of any excuse that would suit being alone in the room with the leader of the fascist paramilitary trying to rule the galaxy, when the door swung open and she came face to face with the very last person she had expected to see.

Instinctively, she drew herself up and stepped backward, shocked. She almost tripped on the hem of her gown before the intruder lunged forward, caught her neatly, and set her back on her feet.

"There you go, young lady," said General Armitage Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update for about a week or more! HATE to leave you all hanging but I have a wedding and a honeymoon to jet off on! I'll update as soon as I can, promise!


	30. Indebted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being so patient! I had a lovely wedding and a great honeymoon out in Mexico and Key West. ON WITH THE FIC!

A dreadful silence filled the room. Rey stood stock-still, taking in the scene: Armitage Hux in his mess dress, staring at Kylo Ren; Kylo Ren, a head taller in his gray tunic, staring at Hux. She very wisely stayed still, looked mostly at the floor, and did not speak.

"General. An unexpected surprise," said Kylo, sounding as if it was the most unpleasant experience he'd ever had. "What brings you here tonight?"

"I received a message from our loyal benefactors from Nar Shadda," said Hux. "They seemed to be concerned about the state of your…visit, and requested I join them for the after-dinner partaking of Corellian brandy and other such diversions." His blue eyes, pale as ice, slid over Rey. "And here I see you have found a pleasant diversion of your own. Very… _private_ , this room, isn't it?"

Rey forced a smile, wondering if he'd even recognized her. "General Hux," she said, pitching her voice a little girlishly high and trying to affect a Coruscanti accent.

He smiled back, a bizarre expression to see on that face. She sensed his pleasure at her recognizing him. "I seem to have saved you from an unwelcome encounter, Miss—?"

 _Oh, thank Force. He has no idea._ "Kira," she said, and dipped in a curtsy, something she'd seen a few other women do. "Please accept my gratitude, sir."

"Accepted with pleasure." He clicked his heels and bowed at the waist. "You must be careful who you trust, Miss Kira. Allow me to escort you back to your party."

"Oh, please, no," she said, a little too quickly, and lowered her eyes. "I would be so embarrassed, and you obviously have important matters to discuss with the Supreme Leader. I'll just go." She began to walk, not too fast, back toward the door.

"I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you before, have I?" he asked as she neared the hall.

Rey cast him a flirtatious look over her bare shoulder and smiled. "I'm sure I would remember such a powerful man," she said, fluttering her eyelashes and hoping it didn't look like she was having some kind of fit.

Hux chuckled and waved her off, and she walked as steadily as she could until she reached the very end of the hall. She broke into a run, pell-mell down to the sitting area and cursing the dress that tangled around her legs. Occupied with not falling, she rounded a corner and smashed straight into Poe Dameron.

"Poe!" she gasped, and clutched his shoulders. "Poe, something horrible has happened. Where's Chewie?"

"What?" He caught her elbows. "He's with the droids—wh—Rey, you're shaking. What's wrong?"

"Hux is here," she managed, and his eyes widened before he let go of her and quickly spoke into his commlink. "He didn't recognize me, I told him my name was Kira—he's in the library with Kylo Ren. The Nar Shaddans called him down, they're not happy with Ren."

Poe gripped her again. "I have a plan. Follow me." He escorted her into the sitting room, where every dinner guest was seated, chatting and drinking. "Sit here," he said, and pointed to a chair. As Rey sat, still shaken, Poe crossed over and raised a glass of brandy.

"Senators and honorable guests!" he called out, and every eye turned to look as he tapped his glass. "I would like to propose a toast. First of all, to our honorable and kind host, Senator Rien To of Sullust. Secondly, to the bonds of friendship that I trust have grown and strengthened today, as the tragic loss of Leia Organa has brought us all closer together. May we never forget her life, her sacrifices, and the legacy that will continue to live on for generations that she has left behind."

Several people murmured in agreement and raised their glasses.

"And lastly," said Poe, smiling, "to General Hux of the First Order, who is visiting us this very evening in this embassy at the invitation of the delegation from Nar Shadda."

Rien To went pale, and several people gasped. Hon Neffa and his friend shrank down in their seats, looking as if they wished to disappear. "Impossible," said Biss Tran, horrified.

"He is in the library right now, confronting the Supreme Leader," said Rey firmly.

Rien motioned, and several guards darted off through the doors, stun guns pulled. "I must—I must apologize, General Dameron," he said, visibly upset. "Nothing—nothing could be further from my intentions for this evening as—"

"Don't worry, it's not your fault," said Poe. "To our host." He raised his glass and drank, along with everyone else in the room.

The guards entered, flanking Hux and followed by Kylo Ren. Hux was wearing an expression Rey found extremely satisfying. "How _dare_ you—remove your hands from my person at _once_ —"

"Search him for weapons," said Rien To. "If any are found, he will be in violation of the non-combat zone declaration, and will be turned over to the Senate for prosecution."

Hux glared at him as the guards patted him down from head to toe, but came up with no weapons, not even tucked into his sleeves. "I will be seeking recompense for this degrading display," he snapped.

"You were not invited to this private dinner party, General," said Rien To. "The Supreme Leader was, due to his… unique position in the proceedings. This will be reported to the Chancellor, and shall be taken into consideration when hearing the First Order's appeals."

Hux jerked his way out of one guard's hands. "We do not need your _appeals_ ," he snapped. "We receive gifts, private donors, funding all over the galaxy."

"Which is why you sent the Supreme Leader to the Senate. Because you don't need their money." Rey stood and faced him, and he gaped at her, recognizing her at last and truly taken aback.

"You," he managed, turning bright pink in rage. " _You._ "

"Me." Rey folded her hands at her waist. "The last time we met, you called me a feral child. Today, you mistook me for a…well, a 'pleasant diversion'. Perhaps one day we will meet and you will get it right, but at this rate I have no hope of ever seeing that day." Several people tittered. A vein stood out on Hux's forehead, his cheeks purpling in rage—if not from being tricked, from being laughed at.

"You little _bitch,_ " he snarled, lunging forward—and stopped short, choking, clawing at his own throat.

Poe gave Rey a shocked look.

"That's not _me_ ," she said, just as surprised as he was.

Kylo Ren stepped forward, quite at his own leisure, hands at his side, and faced Hux. "You will address her as Madame Jedi, or 'my lady'," he intoned, very softly. The room had gone silent, bar Hux's feebly kicking feet and soft gurgling. "She has earned this title and will be styled as such. Unless—is there anything else you want him to call you?" He looked over at Rey.

She swallowed hard and shook her head. "Madame Jedi is just fine," she said. Hux's lips were starting to turn a little blue.

"Then Madame Jedi it is," Kylo said, and turned back to Hux. "Please kick the floor once if you now understand how to properly comport yourself as General of the First Order."

Hux, eyes rolling back, kicked weakly once, and Kylo released him. He slid to the floor, collapsing in a heap of black, gagging and coughing. Several of the guests gasped delicately and moved away, averting their eyes.

Kylo nodded at the very pale guards, then turned to Rien To. "I must again offer my apologies for my conduct this evening, my lord. And for the behavior of this unwelcome guest on the premises. I am at your service and in your debt."

The Nar Shaddans looked scandalized.

"He's put himself in the debt of a Populist senator," whispered Poe. "That'll blow a hole in their big plans."

"It won't put him in danger?" Rey whispered back.

"No, are you kidding? Everyone's terrified of the guy. He's just proved he could kill you without a weapon." Poe slid away from her and leaned over to Rien To. "My lord, I suggest that General Hux be removed at once from the premises. The Chancellor should be notified, and since he is in the Sullustan Embassy, he falls under the jurisdiction of Sullust for any prosecutable offense."

"Yes, yes, very good," said Rien To, gathering himself. "As a diplomatic representative of Sullust, I deem the General made a simple mistake, and has committed no crime. He shall not be prosecuted. Please, take him out, find his ship, and send him back to where he came from." He turned to an aide. "Will you please send the Chancellor a message informing him of what has taken place tonight?"

 _More like he doesn't want to give the Order a reason to start targeting the planet,_ Rey thought.

One of the guards readied his stun blaster and trained it on Hux, who was still coughing, red-faced and humiliated. "Sir, please stand and come with us. I will stun you if you resist."

Hux stood and his eyes slipped over the Nar Shaddans. "You set me up, you bloody—" He lunged at them, rage on his face, and the guard fired, hitting him in the back with a blue bolt that sunk him to the ground unconscious.

"Gracious," said Biss Tran, in the ensuing shocked silence. "I haven't had this exciting of a dinner since Carise Sindian drank an entire bottle of Andorran vintage and got sick all over eighth course." She stood up, quite composed, and inclined her head. "Thank you very much, Senator, for the most entertaining night I have had in quite some time."

Laughter broke out, and Rien To, quite flushed, nodded and laughed with them. "Apologies upon apologies," he said, shaking his head and laughing. "I must have another dinner soon to make up for this one."

"Only if you promise it will be as intriguing as this one!" laughed Ooma. She turned to Rey. "It was ever so nice to meet you, Madame Jedi."

One by one the guests all left, saying their goodbyes, until finally only Kylo Ren, Rien To, Rey, Poe, and Finn were left on the steps of the embassy. (The droids and Chewbacca had boarded their airbus back to 500 Republica and were waiting, out on the platform.)

"I must thank you very kindly for attending," said Rien, clasping Poe's hand. He then turned to Kylo Ren, cloaked in black again and standing in the wind. "And you, my lord. Your dispatching of the wayward general in defense of Madame Jedi was admirably done. I must say, with such…fortitude of the right sort as you have shown, perhaps the Order will become a better, less cruel machine."

 _I've overdone it,_ Rey heard Kylo think. "Thank you, Senator."

"Oh," said the Sullustan, leaning in a little, "and since you have, indeed, placed yourself in my debt—I shall call it settled if you would be so kind as to share your recipe for Alderaanian crepebread. If this is unsuitable, of course, that is perfectly understandable."

Kylo Ren blinked down at him. "You could have asked for anything, and you ask me for that? Why?"

"Your mother was a good woman, a fierce political ally, and a great repository of Alderaanian trivium." Rien To smiled. "It would be the greatest honor to allow her memory, the memory of Alderaan itself, to live on at my table—on very special occasions only, mind you."

Kylo found himself smiling. "Then I will ensure it is correct and send it to your aide as soon as I can, my lord."

"Surprises abound," said the Senator. "This evening I was complaining to Madame Jedi about your presence, and only hours later you have agreed to give me a family recipe some chefs would take out bounties for." He smiled back at Kylo. "Good evening, my lord."

As Rien To walked back inside, Rey turned and began to walk toward the bus, already chilled to the bone in spite of the cloak. Poe and Finn followed, but Kylo Ren remained where he was, unsure of himself.

Rey turned around, sensing his hesitancy. "Come on," she called through chattering teeth. "It's freezing. You don't want to wait for the next one."

He quickly stepped forward, joining the tail end of the group. "I didn't know if it would be, um. Weird."

"It won't be weird unless you make it weird, pal," said Poe, stepping into the bus and extending his hand to Rey. She took it and climbed up inside, quickly sitting by the nearest heating vent and wrapping herself in her cloak as tightly as she could.

Kylo sat down in the seat across from her, and Poe and Finn took the seats in front of them, rubbing their hands together.

"All aboard," said Poe, and the pilot lifted off, carrying them across Coruscant's amber-shot nightscape.

"I've never wished I wore boots more," said Rey, poking her foot out of the cloak to show them her slippers. "How do people live on planets this cold?"

Finn snorted. "You should try Hoth out for size."

"No thanks," she shot back, and tucked her chin in. "We don't have winters on Jakku."

Kylo half-smiled. "On Chandrila, it snows in winter. No snow here, sadly."

"What's snow?" asked Rey.

Poe shook his head. "Water freezes, falls from the sky in little crystals. It's very pretty."

"Urgh," said Rey. "When we get home I'm taking the hottest bath of my life."

~

Once they had all disembarked on the platform and headed inside the main lobby of 500 Republica, it was a quick wait on the lifts.

Chewbacca stood just behind Rey, still keeping one mistrustful eye on Kylo Ren as they waited. _He probably doesn't even know how to hear Shyriiwook anymore,_ he rumbled to her. _At least he learned some manners._

"Well, I was impressed, and so was everyone else," said Rey. "Besides, after that business with Hux, people will like him better."

 _Maybe. At least he still feels her loss._ Chewie sighed, and let out a long string of barks. _I know now why you felt such a pull to him, little Rey. He makes you want to believe he can return. There's enough light in him to see by now, where before there was only a spark._

Kylo turned and glanced at them, just as the turbolift doors opened. They all filed inside and Kylo keyed in his card, then they began their ascent upward. Rey turned and faced the doors, which put her face-to-chest with him.

"You're afraid of the height?" he asked.

"The movement," she said sheepishly. "Heights are fine, but the going up part isn't."

"Ah." The doors opened with a soft ding to his floor, and he hesitated for a second. Rey felt his finger just brush her sleeve, the skin exposed there— _what is he thinking?_ —then he stepped back. "Good evening," he said, and turned as the doors slid shut, the lift carrying them upward to floor 990.

~

Rey dragged herself out of the hot bath and drained the tub, then dried off, hurried over to her bed, and crawled in immediately, burrowing under the covers in a bid for warmth. She was still getting used to sleeping in something that wasn't dry heat, and the chill from outside still felt as if it permeated her bones.

She closed her eyes and reached out with the Force, trying to calm her shivering and bring peace to her mind, which was going a million miles a minute rehashing everything said at dinner and wondering about the potential outcomes of Hux's intrusion.

 _This must be how politicians feel_ , she thought miserably. "Security?" Her screen lit up, projected over her bed, showing an image of the empty hall outside her door. "Is everyone asleep?"

"Yes, Mistress Rey." The computerized voice was gentle, soothing.

"Thank you. Go to sleep." The screen powered off.

She wished Kylo would come. Rey shoved her face into her pillow and groaned to herself. There, she'd acknowledged it to herself. But it was so late, and he'd had a trying time of it at dinner—not that she'd helped that much—so there was no use wishing for any of that.

Slowly, Rey fell asleep, listening to her own heartbeat and wishing for impossible things.


	31. Mon Endu

"Welcome to the Mon Endu Spa!" said the cheery young woman manning the front desk. She leaned forward over the monolith of gleaming electrum. "Do you have an appointment?"

Rey swallowed, somewhat overwhelmed by the holoprojection of services listed on the board behind her. "Senator Biss Tran recommended you very highly to me," she said. "I was hoping…"

"Oh, yes, of course, a recommendation," said the receptionist. "One moment." She pulled out a datapad and looked at it intently for a moment. "Rey of Jakku?"

"Yes," said Rey, feeling very out of place.

The receptionist pressed a button on her pad and smiled brightly. "You are most welcome, Madame Jedi. Please take a seat and enjoy the complimentary refreshments. We shall be with you very shortly."

Rey stepped back and sat down in a plush, white chair, taking a cup of orange tea and a crisp lavender cookie from the center table. A platter of other small snacks was arranged there as well, along with several holomags about the latest fashions on Coruscant and Gatalenta. The entire lobby was decorated in soft grays and whites, with blue as a calming accent color. It certainly seemed to live up to Biss Tran's remarks.

She didn't have long to wait before a pretty human woman in gray and white, black hair smoothed back into a high roll, walked up. "Madame Jedi," she said softly, in a very pleasant voice. "I am Min Moonspinner, of Gatalenta. It is an honor to meet you. Please, follow me." She looked to be in her middling thirties, or possibly early forties—her face was smooth and unlined, but there were small silver threads of hair in her flawless coiffure.

Rey stood up and followed Min through a sliding white door and into a hallway lit with soft, calming light. Min led her into a small room that contained a cushioned table with a hole in it at one end, a chair, three dim mineral lamps (very primitive, Rey thought) and a patterned rug on the floor.

"Your first step on the journey to relaxation," Min said, and indicated the chair. "Please remove all clothing you feel comfortable having off, set them there, and lie face down on the table. I will return shortly."

She stepped out and shut the door. Rey stood for a moment, wondering, and began to strip. Off went the jacket, the tunic, the under-tunic. Off came her boots and warm leggings. She got down to her basics, wondered if she should leave her bra on, thought, _Min's probably seen more skin than this and she won't care,_ and took it off before lying face down on the cushioned table, putting her face through the hole.

The soft foam molded to her body at once. Rey felt weightless, no pressure on any point of her body at all. She could have fallen asleep right there, if it wasn't for the door sliding open with a gentle hiss and Min returning.

She heard the clink of bottles as Min set them down. "On Gatalenta, we treasure serenity. Peace. Well-being. And the Force." Min stepped closer, and Rey caught a smooth, sweet scent of something. "I can see that you have great troubles, Rey of Jakku. They interfere with the living Force flowing through you."

"My troubles?" asked Rey, voice coming out oddly through a rather squished face.

"Yes." Min smiled, she could hear it in her voice. "We have a philosophy on Gatalenta called _Ato:_ the idea that the Force can be interrupted in the body of a living creature due to inner conflict. There are certain areas in the bodies of all living things, spots where the Force is strong."

Rey frowned, face unseen. _Sounds like a load of poodoo,_ she thought to herself.

Warm oil dripped on Rey's lower back. She stiffened, not expecting it. "Huh," she said, startled.

Min chuckled. "If your inner eye had been open to the Force, you would have sensed it coming," she told Rey, and pressed down with her thumbs, just at the dimples of Rey's lower back. It felt bizarrely instrusive, and Rey made a face. "Relax, Madame Jedi," said Min. "Open your mind to the Force, and accept all. All is as the Force wills it, and you are one with the Force."

Rey took a deep breath through her nose and exhaled, reaching out. The smooth, hypnotic rhythm of Min's hands on her back became calming: soothing, not strange. Rey could hear her own heartbeat, somewhere deep in her head. The room faded, Min's voice, low and smooth like a river, faded. Rey's eyes drifted shut, and all was dark.

_Rey. These are your first steps._

Her eyes flew open, and she saw nothing. A dark room. She was not afraid. She'd been darker places than this.

"But what are my _next_ steps?" she asked of the disembodied voice.

_That is indeed the question._

A man materialized out of the dark: bluish light surrounding him like a halo. He was solid and real, wearing something like Luke's Jedi robes, but in shades of brown, tan, golden, white. He had a beard, and she thought for a moment he might be Luke, only younger.

He sat down before her, legs crossed. "I have waited a long time for you to come," he said in a clipped, elegant Coruscanti accent. No, this man was not Luke. She had no idea who he was.

"Come where?" Rey looked around.

"Here, of course." He smiled. "We are in a place unbound by time, a pocket of the Force that you have created. You are in a Force-trance."

"A trance? Have I been drugged?" She looked down at herself and saw herself dressed in the same clothing as he was wearing, only gray, white, black.

"Well. I wouldn't be entirely truthful if I told you the oil Min Moonspinner put on your bare skin _isn't_ a mild psychotropic," he said. "But there are no lasting effects. It is made from a very Force-sensitive plant on Gatalenta."

"So why am I here and what am I supposed to see?" Rey asked.  "And who are _you_?"

"You may not be supposed to see anything," he said, stroking his moustache. "The Force is funny like that. It isn't a comlink, as my old Master used to say. There's not always a specific message for you. Which I believe answers the _why_ and _what._ As for the _who_ , well. I could tell you my name, but it wouldn't mean much to you at all."

"You're a Jedi. I heard your voice when I touched the lightsaber the first time. At Maz Kanata's palace on Takodana." Rey looked at him more closely. "I'm sure I did."

"You might have," he agreed pleasantly.

"Are you—are you dead?" Rey chewed her lip, unsure if that was a rude question to ask or not.

He chuckled. "From a certain point of view. If you mean 'are you walking on a planet somewhere in the galaxy, living, breathing and eating', no, I am not. I have passed into the Force and become one with it."

"I've heard the Force speak to me in the voice of Luke Skywalker," she said. "Do all dead people become one with the Force?" An awful hope grew within her. "Does that mean—I can see Han? Leia? My—my parents?"

He regarded her with a sort of sad, gentle look. "No," he said. "The ability to pass into the Force without dying takes great power and skill. I only know of four Jedi who have done so. You cannot call up the ghosts of the people you have lost here, Rey."

Crushed, Rey bent her head. "Oh," she said, in a very small voice, hot tears threatening to drip from her eyes.

"Oh, dear," he said gently. "As an old Master I knew used to say, do not mourn for those who pass on. All things end. It is the way of the Force."

Rey breathed deeply and tried to center herself. "You would think that the Force would have some sense of justice or fairness," she said.

"Justice and fairness are inventions of sentient beings," said the Jedi, raising an eyebrow. "It has nothing to do with the Force. Rather like when someone has a pet and imagines it loves them, or that its facial expressions are akin to their own. The insentient animal has no concept of such things. The sentient being projects upon it what it wishes to see."

"Oh," said Rey, slightly despondent. "Is this what I'm supposed to learn?"

"Possibly," he said, a slight smile lurking at the corners of his mustache. "I cannot speak on behalf of the Force. Clear your mind of all distractions. Breathe. Let the Force in."

Rey focused on the middle space, just between her and the Jedi, and narrowed her eyes, letting her mind go blank, her breathing even out.

The Jedi flickered and disappeared like a bad holo signal. Rey looked up in alarm and saw that what she had thought was a black ceiling was in fact a cave, stalactites bearing down—no, they were teeth—

She heard the familiar roar of the Falcon's engines. Before she could turn, the floor was shifting again, and she was standing in a medbay, the tinny, squalling sound of a baby filling her ears.

"He's beautiful," said a familiar voice, and she whirled to see a much younger Han Solo, cradling a bundle in his arms, leaning over an exhausted-looking, young Leia, dressed in white, her long hair unbound. "What are we gonna call him?"

Rey drew closer, tears in her eyes again. She tried to touch Han's arm, but her hand passed through him. "Han," she said, knowing he couldn't hear her.

Leia smiled up into the face of her husband. "We'll call him Ben."

"After old Ben Kenobi?" Han looked down. "Ben. Ben Solo. All right."

"Leia," said Rey, eyes brimming.

Leia's brows drew together and she blinked, looking just to Han's right, precisely where Rey was standing. "Sweetheart?" asked Han.

"Nothing, I just had a funny feeling. It's passed." She reached her arms out. "Here, let me—"

The floor shifted, the entire scene turning on its side, and Rey landed on her feet, standing on a black, shining floor. Medical droids floated on their repulsors, needle-like arms extended, and a figure in black had his back to her. She immediately recognized General Hux's signature flaming-ginger hair, and went into a cautious stance.

"How is the project progressing?" he asked a black-coated technician.

"Excellently, General," said the tech. She held up a vial of bright green liquid. "We have only to run a few more tests to ensure that we do not cause death in the younglings. The failures are on their way to the incineration chamber."

"Good," said Hux, and turned on his heel, facing Rey. She wrinkled her nose at the sight of his pale face, marred only by a freshly split lip as he passed her. Rey turned to see where he was going and saw with horror that there were children—children of all species, dressed in rags, dirty, and frightened—in cages against the wall.

"No," she whispered, shocked. She turned and saw a droid pushing a repulsor-gurney out, a small shape outlined under a black tarp lying atop it. _They're killing children!_

Hux paused, looking into the cages. The children inside shied back, all but one, a defiant little boy with a shock of straw-colored hair who glared straight at him. "You're sure these are all…Force-sensitive?" Hux asked disdainfully.

The boy let out a cry of anger and clenched his fists, and Hux went flying backward, staggering into the examination table.

"Um. Yes, sir," said the tech, looking up. "Sorry, sir."

Hux stood up, enraged. "That one goes next," he snarled. "I want every single one of these—these _things_ incapacitated and exterminated after you have enough for all of them. Am I clear?"

"Yes, General," said the tech.

"No!" Rey screamed, furious. "No, they're _children_ , you can't!"

The floor melted, and Rey was falling, far away from the children, from the room with the cages. She cried out and with a jerk, came to on the massage table and sat straight up, gasping for air, shaking, and dripping sweat.

Min Moonspinner was standing, her gloved hands still slick with oil, staring at her as if she could see right through her. "Peace," she managed, very pale.

"What was that?" gasped Rey, tears streaking down her face. "What—you made me—" She lurched off the table and almost fell, Min catching her with her elbows, making sure not to touch her skin with the oil.

"Shh," said Min gently. "Shh. The Force has showed you much."

"Children," Rey croaked out. "The First Order. They have the children. Force-sensitive. They're killing them, or something. Or they're going to."

Min blinked at her. "So it's true," she breathed.

"You—what?" Rey staggered back onto the table and sat. "What's true?"

Min yanked her gloves off and leaned close. "Don't breathe a word of any of this. I will return in a moment. You must trust me, Rey." She squeezed Rey's shoulders and disappeared through the sliding door, leaving the other woman alone.

Rey gripped the table and tried to breathe. What _was_ this place?

No. The children. She had to focus on the children. There had been probably ten or twelve, all locked up in those tiny cages like animals. And they'd all been Force-sensitive. What was it Hux had called the green substance? A blocker? Something that was killing them. But they didn't want them dead immediately, that was a _failure,_ they wanted them to be _incapacitated—_

The door opened and Rey straightened, on her guard. It was Min again. "Rey," she said, quite resolved now. "Listen closely. I can only keep you here for a moment more, and there are no recording devices here. You must trust what I have to tell you is true."

Rey nodded, unsure of herself.

Min leaned closely in, smelling of tea. "Gatalentan Intelligence has known for some time that the Order is developing a weapon. A Jedi-killer. We have not told the Resistance, as we thought no Jedi had survived. With your presence, it is now an urgent matter. You are in great danger, along with every other sentient being in the galaxy who the Force speaks to."

"How does the Jedi-killer work?" Rey whispered back.

"We don't know," Min said. "We believe it is a drug powerful enough to incapacitate a Force-sensitive being and render them unable to defend themselves."

"A blocker," said Rey. "Hux called it a blocker. I saw—I saw children."

"That may be future. It may be present. It may be past." Min seized her hand. "If it is a Force-blocker, then we are truly all in danger. If the Order already possesses such a weapon—"

"Hux had a badly split lip in the vision I saw," Rey said, remembering. "I saw him last night, and he didn't." Her heart rate was beginning to slow. "It can't be the past, or they would have used the weapon already. It cannot be present. So what I saw must be in the future."

"We are safe for a little longer, if that is so," said Min. "Come." She stood. "Put on this robe. I will take you to the next room."

Rey pulled on the fluffy, white robe and followed her down the hall and into another room, willing her feet to keep carrying her. The second room was heated, steam coming out of the walls, and Rey settled in against the far bench to breathe in the dampness and meditate.

~

Three hours later, Rey was putting her clothes back on and feeling as if she'd put on an entirely new skin. She'd sweated her pores clean, been scrubbed down from head to toe with a gritty paste, scraped clean again, been sent to douse herself in cold water, then come back out of the pool room for an intensive face treatment that included slices of fruit, packs made of cold slime, and green milk curd. Then they'd sent her to have her eyebrows shaped and her body hair removed (she'd insisted on only letting them remove her leg and armpit hair with a hair-dissolving cream, nothing else, and settled for a close trim of the hair between her legs), and finally they'd wrapped her hair in a treatment and let her sleep for half an hour. When she'd woken up, her locks were a full six inches longer, and silky smooth. After that, her nails on both hands and feet had been filed, shaped, and painted with a rosy gloss, then her calluses had been pared and scrubbed and rolled away, leaving all of her feeling as tender and wobbly as a newborn eopie.

Rey walked back out to the desk and slid her credits across the counter. "Thank you for a very relaxing and insightful day," she told the receptionist.

The girl checked her chart. "Oh, Madame Jedi," she said brightly, "consider this on the house, compliments of Senator Tran." She smiled.

"Oh," said Rey, and tucked her credits back into her belt. "Thank you. Please send my regards to the Senator."

"It shall be as you ask," said the receptionist. "May the Force be with you."

"And with you," said Rey.

She left the spa and walked back outside into the frigid chill of daylight. Poe was waiting for her, in a big, fur-lined parka, leaning on his SoruSuub Coupe. "How was it?" he called out, waving to her. "I picked up some food."

Rey waited until she was close enough to be heard without shouting, and gripped his wrist. "I have a lot to tell you back at the apartment," she said, and the look on her face had him behind the controls immediately. She climbed into the passenger seat, and they jetted off into the smoggy winter sky.


	32. Pax Aurora

The conversation took place over paper cartons of Mon Calamari takeout, at the grand dining table in their apartment in 500 Republica. Rey talked and talked between mouthfuls of sear-fried fish and wild rice, while Finn and Poe listened.

By the time she was done talking, Poe was standing pacing back and forth while his food went cold.

"If the First Order has a Jedi-killer, they could effectively dismantle any and all new efforts, plans, whatever—to make a new Jedi Order." He ran a hand through his hair. "If Hux is doing this, we need proof, and we need to tell the Senate."

"We have proof," said Finn. "Rey is the proof."

"Look, no offense, but saying you saw something that hasn't happened yet in a magic Force-trance isn't admissible in any court in the galaxy," said Poe. "We need hard, cold evidence of this development. You said Gatalentan Intel has it?"

"Senator Tran knows," said Rey, pushing her empty carton away. "She sent me to the spa in the first place. Why else would she have sent me?"

"She probably won't be able to come right out and say it if she hasn't yet," said Finn. "There's got to be a reason Gatalenta's been sitting on this."

"Someone's got to be working behind the scenes," said Rey. "Infiltrating the First Order to find these developments—that would take an insane amount of intelligence, and manpower, and—"

"We have no idea who it is, and we can't guess," said Finn. "It could be any number of people. We have to have something solid."

The security system beeped, and a hologram showing a senatorial aide in the lift appeared above the table. "Guest arriving," said the security system pleasantly.

Rey sighed. "We can table this for a second until this is over," she said. "Let's meet her in the living area and clean all this up."

By the time the prim little aide stepped into the living room, Finn and Poe were seated casually on a sofa, chatting while Rey stood against the wall. "Madame Jedi," she said, bowing. "General. Finn."

"Yes?" asked Poe.

"I bring news from the Senate. Your emergency session shall take place in one hour. All Senators are present and accounted for. The vote has been moved up due to a cancellation of a vote regarding—"

"An hour?" Rey interrupted, taken aback.

"Indeed, Madame," she said. "Please present yourself at the Senate in no less than forty-five minutes so that you may be through security and seated in your booth as soon as possible."

"We understand. Thank you," Poe said.

The aide nodded and left.

As soon as the lift slid closed, Rey whirled about on Poe. "An _hour?_ "

"Look, I know it's last minute, but we _really_ need to get this information out as soon as possible, so it's probably a good thing—"

"Did you even start on my speech?" she demanded, panic rising in her throat. "I'm going to be going in totally unprepared!"

Finn spread his hands open and stood up. "Whoa. Hold on. Rey, we can all speak. We can take turns."

"I can’t—" Rey turned away. "I have to get dressed. I'll—I'll make something up on the way over."

"Okay. Hey, we can let you go last—for the most impact!" Poe called after her as she disappeared into the privacy of her bedroom.

~

 _What am I going to do?_ Rey thought, more than a little panicked, as she tore her closet apart and laid out all the robes on the bed. She could barely focus on BU-T6's calm droning on about color families and fabrics. Her lunch was knotted up somewhere in her gut, and she prayed she wouldn't be sick. _We have no proof. We have no proof. They're going to kill children and we have no proof._

"Madame Jedi," said BU-T6 rather reprovingly.

"What?" said Rey, slightly angry.

"I will leave to dress Master Finn and General Dameron. Please call when you require your hair to be done," she intoned, and rolled out the door.

 _Great. Now the droid is giving me the cold shoulder._ Rey dragged her hands down her freshly-scrubbed face and groaned, forcing herself to turn her attention to the robes on the bed.

They were all too _much_. Velvets, devoré, crisp silks, iridescent fabrics, jewels and beads and electrum.

The memory of the Jedi from her vision swam before her mind's eye. _Clear your mind of all distractions. Breathe. Let the Force in._

Rey set her jaw. To hell with the entire grubbing Senate; to hell with the expensive, stupid clothing bought with bribe money. She reached into the very back of the closet, and her fingers closed around what she was looking for.

"Beauty-Six," she called. "I need your help."

~

"We have to leave in ten minutes, where the hell is Rey?" Finn said, tapping his boot impatiently on the floor. 

"All right. Here's how we're going to do this." Poe, sharp in his military best, sat down close to Finn and seized his shoulder. "You go first, talk about how much the Order sucks. Our intel has pretty good proof that the First Order tried to keep your escape a secret, so you'll get their attention right off the bat. Then when you're done, I'll briefly go over our mission and needs, and at the very end—"

Rey's bedroom door opened and she strode out, followed closely by BB-8. "Are we ready?" she asked.

Finn and Poe stared at her, both too stunned to say anything.

"Are those—are those Jedi robes?" asked Poe, blinking as if he expected her to be a bad holocast.

"They are now," Rey said, lifting one linen-sleeved arm. "Beauty-Six was very helpful and had a whole archive of old Jedi fashions. We sort of cobbled everything together from my old clothes and some scraps in the closet. I think I did all right."

Poe stepped back and mentally took inventory. The pale cream edge of her wrap-over shirt peeked out from under a light gray linen tunic with long sleeves, the color almost perfectly matching her knee-length, gray, baggy homespun trousers. Holding it all together were a darker gray obi and tabards that hung down in front, just brushing past the hem of her gray tunic, and over the obi was a belt of gray leather with a single silver clasp, the only ornamentation on her. Luke Skywalker's lightsaber hung from it. Her trusty knee-high brown boots finished off the look, and her hair was pulled back at the top and left loose at the bottom.

"Well," he said. "You, uh. You look good."

"Oh, and this," she said, and pulled out a long, dark-gray cloak with a deep hood and billowing sleeves. "It's gabarwool, and I am tired of being half frozen on this stupid planet."

"Can't argue with that," said Finn. "Okay, let's get going. We don't want to be late."

"Copy that," said Rey dryly, and headed to the lobby with them, enjoying the way her cloak billowed and swirled in her wake.

~

The Senate lobby was packed. Rey had never seen so many people in her life. Most were in their robes of state, and almost all were talking amongst themselves animatedly. Fortunately, she, Poe, and Finn were given a wide berth on their way in, most people giving the three of them sideways looks and confused stares as they entered a side hallway.

Sheendra Sella, draped in severe dark colors and a golden lekku headpiece, rounded the corner in front of them and nearly collided with the aide leading them to their pod. "Oh! Gracious!" She set the poor man upright and smiled at him disarmingly. "I'm so sorry! I'm rushing to the War Minister's office!"

"Thank you," said the aide, flustered and checking his datapad to make sure nothing had been deleted.

"Lovely to see you again, Ms. Sella," said Poe, smiling.

She took his hands and pressed them between hers. "All the luck in the worlds to you today, General."

Then, she turned to Finn. "Good luck out there!" she said, and clasped his hands in a gesture of goodwill.

"Thanks!" said Finn, beaming at her in pleased confusion.

Lastly, she turned to Rey. "You're going to do marvelously, Madame Jedi," she said firmly, pressing her hands to Rey's. "All our goodwill goes with you."

"Thank you," said Rey, smiling.

Sheendra waved goodbye and hurried off, disappearing into the mish-mash of beings on the main lobby floor behind them.

Rey did not look at her hands, or at the object Sheendra had slipped into them as she'd clutched them tightly. She kept her hands at her side and tucked the object up into her sleeve with her fingers, her heart pounding.

The aide led them on and into a lift, then down a hall, then up another lift, then into another hall and in _that_ hall he led them through an arch, one of many dotting the enormously curved wall. "Take your seats inside, and make yourselves comfortable," he panted, checking his datapad. "The Chancellor sends his regards."

"Thank you," said Poe, and he left as they stepped into the wide, circular pod, affixed to the wall of a vast space.

"This is huge," said Rey nervously, sitting down on the curved bench inside their pod.

"This is the old Galactic Senate," said Poe, sitting next to her. Finn took the bench on the other side of the entry port. "You'll notice there are more pods than system representatives. The Republic was pretty decimated after the attack on the Hosnian system. But they've gathered themselves up and sent in as many as they could." He glanced at her. "They want to hear you, Rey. I can't imagine any sane Senator condoning the attack, even if they might align with the Order. These people need a solution."

 _But I don't have a solution,_ she thought, panicking. "Poe," she said. "Sheendra gave me something."

"Hmm?" he said. "What do you—"

"This," she said, and opened her hands to show him the object. It was a sleek white data rod, small enough to be concealed, with a jack on one end. "I don't know what it is, or what I'm supposed to do with it."

His eyes widened. "You—"

The lights went down and Chancellor Valyeno's face appeared, flanked by his two assistants, projected on a large holoscreen visible to everyone in the funnel-shaped space. A cluster of HoloNet cams were hovering around him, projecting his words to the entire galaxy. "I, Chancellor Valyeno, open this session of the New Republic Senate," he said. "All rise for the Silence."

Rey stood like everyone else, and awkwardly looked over at Poe, not knowing what to do. After a few seconds, the Chancellor raised his hand and everyone sat, a soft rustling of a thousand robes filling the arena.

"Esteemed Representatives," said the Chancellor, "it is my honor to open this emergency session today. We have here today representing the Galactic Resistance: General Poe Dameron of Yavin IV, Madame Jedi, Rey of Jakku, and FN-2187, once a Stormtrooper of the First Order, now known as Finn."

A general murmur disrupted the silence. Rey saw her face projected up on the HoloNet screens, and tried to not look sick. She wished she'd used some color on her cheeks; her face looked flat and washed out on the screen above her.

"They have been granted the right to speak before this august assembly, and will present—"

"Objection!" called a voice, amplified electronically over the audio system. Rey's head whipped around and saw a representative from—she checked the label over her pod—Riosa, standing in her robes of state. The holocams swiveled toward her. "This Galactic Resistance is not a planet, nor a planetary system. They have no right to be in this assembly."

Rey narrowed her eyes, not missing the little pin she wore on her collar—a hexagon, stylized enough to be plausibly deniable, but unmistakably reminiscent of the First Order. _A supporter._

"The Senator's objection is heard." The Chancellor waved a hand. " Shall any Senator overrule?"

Another Senator, this one from Corellia, stood and pressed his call button, amplifying his voice to be heard. "I move to overrule the objection by the honorable Senator Creet," he said. "They have just as much right to be in this assembly as any of us."

"When do we get to actually speak?" Rey hissed over to Poe.

Poe shrugged. "Politics. The objection has to be overruled by two more senators. Then we can proceed."

"This is the _worst_ ," said Rey, fighting the urge to slump.

"I second the motion," said a voice. Rey looked up and saw Biss Tran, her signature red cloak shining on the monitors. "They were granted dispensation by council of the Minister of War. To question their legality is to question the legality of every decision we make by every council."

A murmur of agreement went around the room. Rey felt slightly better.

"And I third the motion," said another voice. Rey looked over and recognized Ooma, from the dinner at the Sullustan embassy, smiling peacefully as the cams clustered around her. "On the basis that it is their right as citizens of the New Republic to have their voices heard." Her orange lekku twitched.

"Hear, hear!" a few people shouted.

"The motion is carried," the Chancellor said. "Will the delegation from the Resistance present their first speaker?"

Finn wiped his hands on his trousers and stood, making his way to the little podium in front of the pod. "Hon—honorable senators," he began, a slight sheen of sweat standing out on his forehead. "I am not very good at making speeches, as it wasn't something taught in Stormtrooper Training class, so I trust you'll forgive any mistakes I make, and I'm sure there will be a lot of them."

Scattered chuckles from the audience seemed to perk him up. He straightened his shoulders, and began to talk.

He told them about the training camps for Armitage Hux's stormtroopers, the brainwashing techniques, the efforts to stamp out the will of the individual. He told them about harsh punishments for things like not shining a boot properly. The time he had been forced to kneel on wild rice for an hour because he'd saluted a hair wrong. The way they'd all gone into combat unprepared. The way he'd seen his best friend die on Jakku, choking on blood. The day he'd decided he wanted no more of it, and escaped. And the day he'd decided that facing evil head-on and confronting it was better than running away, because it meant you got the chance to stand and fight for the things and the people that you loved, and that was better than running.

When he finally finished speaking and returned to his seat, the room exploded.

"I object to this man's statements!" "We don't even know if he's telling the truth!" "Let them speak!" "The First Order _must_ be disbanded!" "Order! Order!"

The Chancellor stood and Rey saw one aide press a button, muting all the shouting Senators. "There will be order," he said severely in the sudden silence. "I call upon the delegation from the Resistance to present their second speaker."

Poe took a deep breath and stood, eyes fixed on the large screen above him. Rey remained in her seat, her hands gone cold and clammy, still clutching the small data rod in her fingers. She barely heard Poe's impassioned plea for support for their military force, she was so focused on wondering what the data rod could hold.

Suddenly, her stomach settled into a knot. If the Sellas were involved in the intelligence efforts with Gatalenta… then Sheendra would have been told—and the data rod—it must contain—

Polite applause jerked her out of her focused reverie and Poe brushed past her on his way back to the seat. "You're up," he whispered.

"Karking hell," she said under her breath, her stomach flipping over.

"Will the delegation from the Resistance present their third speaker?" The Chancellor was waiting.  

_Oh, no._

Rey forced herself to her feet, keeping her face as blank as possible, and managed to make it to the podium without either throwing up or fainting. Every person in the room went quiet, all of them looking at her image projected above them on the large screen.

"Honorable Representatives of the New Republic," Rey began, voice slightly shaky. She swallowed and took a breath. _Just keep breathing and you'll do fine._ The cams were in her face, and she focused on one of them. "Distinguished Senators. Chancellor Valyeno. I am Rey of Jakku, and—"

Oh, no. What was she supposed to talk about again? The vote? Wasn't there something about a vote? No, that wasn't right. Hadn't Poe already covered this? Kark, why hadn't she been paying attention?

The cams bobbed. Rey felt the blood drain from her face. _No, you can't pass out,_ she thought angrily, and clung to the podium. "And—and I have come before you to—"

_What have I come here to do?_

She looked down at the data rod in her hand, and noticed a small dataport in her podium, exactly the same size and shape as the jack.

_I came to bring people hope._

"—to warn you all of a terrible thing the First Order is doing at this very moment." Rey, ignoring the gasps and soft murmurs, plugged the data rod into the port and pressed the small button marked PROJECTION ON/OFF on the podium.

The tiny projection lens over their podium lit up and beamed a wide holoscreen into the middle of the room, showing diagrams of a plant, holovids, and various files and folders—all marked with the symbol of the First Order.

Rey tapped on her built-in screen, and a holovid expanded, filling the projection area with an image of a white-coated First Order scientist holding a datapad. Rey tapped it. The vid began to play.

" _Test 346 of Pax Aurora, subject 321."_ The scientist held up a tiny syringe of bright green liquid and turned, showing a caged moss-cat, its green ears flat against his head, hissing. " _Subject is a Mantellian moss-cat, known Force-sensitive species. Currently running diagnostics, as you can see on this screen."_ He pointed to a datascreen to the right, where a series of numbers was flashing. " _Subject is currently strongly emitting a suggestion through the Force, intended to protect itself from danger—rather like an old Jedi mind trick. If the experiment is successful, the numbers will drop to 0, showing the animal is no longer able to channel the Force. On my mark."_

The scientist injected the cat through the top of the cage. It yowled in pain and spasmed, foaming at the mouth. 

Someone cried out on the Senate floor in shock. Several other voices rose in indignation at the display of cruelty.

On the screen, the cat collapsed, eyes rolling frantically. The scientist checked his chrono and looked at the screen, which indeed showed rapidly descending numbers, all the way to 0. " _Time, less than a minute_ ," he said, sounding pleased. " _Subject 321 is a success._ " He unlocked the cage, picked the moaning moss-cat up with a gloved hand, and injected it with something that killed the animal instantly, its large and fluffy body going limp in his hands. " _Erm, this is the twentieth successful trial in a row on animal subjects, therefore we shall be proceeding to sentients."_ He dumped the body into a slot marked INCINERATION on the far wall, where it disappeared. _"End recording."_

The screen went black, and before anyone had a second to say a word, Rey tapped out of it and slammed down her amplification button.

"I come before you today," she almost shouted, "to expose the cruelty of the First Order! Even now they are making plans to subject children, younglings, juveniles of all sentient species on all planets to that torture. They will stop at nothing to crush the galaxy under their boot, even if it means destroying every last remnant of the Jedi they can find. The Resistance is the last line of defense between your children's lives and the First Order. Each planet has its own sovereignty, yes; but by itself a planet is not strong enough to withstand the power they have. Every second we waste in debate here is another step closer to a second Starkiller Base. Remember the Hosnian system. Remember your colleagues, your friends. They're ashes, out there in the stars, because someone decided that the Order wasn't a threat. Well, I ask you all—do you think they're a threat _now_?"

She paused for breath and the chamber roared. Both aides were shouting down for order, pressing a bank of buttons as more and more voices joined the fray. The Chancellor looked aghast.

"So I ask," called Rey, mashing down her amplifier again, "for your decision, to establish us as the New Republic Resistance Army! Let us fight to protect you and your worlds from the hands of the First Order, and any others who seek to take your freedoms. I call for a vote!"

"A vote!" The cry was taken up by the whole Senate, shouting, pounding on their podiums.  Almost every pod lit up yellow, signifying a _yes_. The Chancellor's aide typed out a proposal frantically and it projected up on the largest screen.

"Senators, the vote," she announced. "Whether or not to adopt the New Republic Resistance Army. If adopted, it shall be funded with the full support of the New Republic. Your votes begin now."

The chamber quieted as thousands of Senators hastily keyed in their votes, the soft clacking of the machines filling the room like a gentle buzz. Rey watched, her hands clasped tight together under her podium, as the screen began to fill with votes—glowing orange marks signifying a no vote, yellow signifying a yes. She couldn’t watch, and bent her head to look down at the holoscreen still showing the contents of the data rod.

 _Pax Aurora._  She tapped on the transparisteel cover, minimizing the hologram and allowing her to look at the contents of the file privately. One note in particular caught her eye and she tapped on it. It was fragmented—the slicer who had decrypted it had made a bit of a mess—but the sentence _final subject to be terminated_ had survived.

Final subject? Rey frowned. They must be working toward a goal, then. One person, stripped of their Force-sensitivity and killed at some nebulous future point. _Me._   _They must want me dead,_ she thought.

Behind her, Poe leaped to his feet, and an enormous roar went up from the Senate. "Rey! We did it!" He was beaming , hugging Finn, his hair falling into his eyes.

Rey looked at them, then at the scoreboard where the yellow was drowning out the orange, feeling curiously blank and scrubbed clean of the taste of victory. She was missing something. She could sense it.

 _Hux called me a feral child._ She looked back down at the screen, her mind racing. _What did Ren say about Hux?_ His words from dinner floated into her mind, _he holds a grudge against me…_ for what? Eliminating his path to power? Eliminating Snoke?

_Final subject to be terminated._

Rey's belly contracted into a knot of terror. She whirled and stared at Poe. "I have to go," she said through numb lips. "I have to—"

"What?" Poe asked, his brow furrowing. "But we just won the vote—"

"To hell with the vote," she said, her hands shaking. "I think Kylo Ren's in danger—I have to warn him."

Poe glanced at her, then at the screen, then back at her. "You think Hux is planning to kill _him_ , not you?"

"I have to _go,_ " she gasped, and ran past him, paying no heed to Poe and Finn shouting after her as their voices were drowned in the celebration of the Senate.


	33. The Last Vision

Rey's side had a terrible hitch by the time she finally made it to the landing platform and scrambled onto a 500 Republica airbus. Collapsing in one of the front seats, she pressed her forehead to the window and panted for air, her legs aching and sweat on her cheeks in spite of the cold wind.

_Why did they have to make that building so twice-damned big?_

"Please, go as fast as you can," she gasped to the pilot. "It's an emergency."

"Yes, my lady," he said, looking concerned, and lifted off, the engines humming.

Rey pressed her hand to her lightsaber and closed her eyes, finding it difficult to focus through her fear and find the Force. _You have to be calm or you won't be any help to anyone,_ she told herself, and took several deep breaths, trying to force her heartbeat to slow.

 _What if you're too late?_ the nagging voice in the back of her head asked.

 _I won't be_ , Rey said to herself angrily. _I can't be._

The airbus swept around a block and 500 Republica loomed up in the distance. Rey peered through the transparisteel windscreen, desperately searching around the eight hundred and ninetieth floor for any signs of forced entry. There seemed to be none. Her heart leaped, and she gripped the seat, hoping he would believe her if nothing else.

The bus landed and Rey was off it almost before the doors were open, dashing across the platform and into the soothing blue lobby. One twitch of the Force and the lift doors were open. Another suggestion to the electric system, and the turbolift was hurtling up to floor 890, Rey's hands already tight on her saber hilt.  Her stomach lurched, but this time it wasn't from the height.

The lift came to a halt and the doors slid open silently, revealing the dark lobby. Rey stepped out in a fighting stance, saber ready for ignition at the slightest suggestion.

It was quite silent. No sound of a fire crackling, no rustle of movement from a distant bedroom.

"Ren?" she half-whispered, inching into the dark living area. All the lights were off. Rey frowned and waved her hand, engaging the lights on with the Force, and they flickered to life.

Well, what was left of them flickered to life, anyway.

Rey stared at the scene that met her eyes. Burned, blaster marks in the walls. The HoloNet screen was destroyed, hanging on the wall by one bolt. Both expensive sofas were slashed and burned— _his saber?_ —and the lush carpet was stained with something dark. Rey bent down and touched the substance, then sniffed her fingers.

Metallic. Iron. It was blood.

She was too late.

Or was she? She studied the scene again. There seemed to be an equal amount of damage both from a lightsaber and from blaster fire. Then again, the lightsaber damage could have been just as easily done by a vibro-blade, like the type used by the Praetorian Guard. Rey shook her head, trying to think. She pressed one hand to a burn in the sofa—it was cold to the touch, the charred remains of the fabric flaking away in her fingers. Meaning the confrontation had begun more than an hour ago, probably around the time they had arrived at the Senate.

Maybe even before.

Rey stepped back and kicked something hard with her foot, an object that moved. She bent down and picked it up.

It was Kylo Ren's lightsaber, dented and smashed, one of the side vents sheared clean off. It was emitting a feeble pinkish glow from inside, the ignition switch still in the on position.

"Oh, no, no, no," she whispered, horrified, and sank to her knees, clutching the destroyed saber. "No. Please, no." Heat surged up behind her eyes, filling them with tears.

_He's dead. He's dead, and I'll never see him again._

Her hands shaking, she flipped the saber over and switched the ignition into the off position, the glow fading. "I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I should have warned you first. I'm so sorry."

And then, she felt it.

The atmosphere changing around her in some tiny, barely identifiable way.

A slight, ever so subtle,  _shift._

Rey whipped her head around so fast she almost cracked her neck.

Kylo Ren was lying on the floor a few feet away, face-down, wrists trapped in mag-lock restraints, ankles cuffed as well. He was wearing nothing but a ragged piece of gray fabric draped over his hips, stained with blood and other substances she didn't really want to identify. Bruises and angry red cuts and burns scattered his arms, his back, his broad shoulders.

But he was _alive._

" _Ren!_ " she shouted, still in tears, and scrambled across the floor, her hands traveling over him frantically, trying to find anything, a way to help. He was almost deadweight, hard to move, but she rolled him over to his side and raked his hair out of his face. "Kylo. Hey. Hey! Wake up. Please, wake up."

His face was a wreck. Someone had beaten him badly, and Rey made a mental note to discover their identity and promptly remove their limbs one by one. His left eye was swollen shut, his nose and mouth had a cover of crusted blood, and his lip was split and swelling. A bruise was flowering high up on his right cheekbone, shades of purple and red. She was afraid to shake him, for fear there might be broken bones.

Slowly, his right eye opened, fluttering, and found her, honey-brown and shining. "You c-came?" he managed, hoarse and rough. "Rey? You came for me?"

"No, the Force—it's the link," she explained, confused. Hadn't he felt the shift?

"You look… nice," he rasped through cracked lips, as if he hadn't heard her. Every word was a hoarse effort. "Like a real Jedi."

Rey snorted through her tears and kissed his forehead. "Shut up," she said. "What—who did this? Where are you? I can't see your surroundings."

"The _Finalizer_ ," he said, and coughed. "It's over. Don't worry about me."

"What?" Rey shook her head. "No, I'm coming to get you. Where are you?"

"No," Kylo said forcefully, and gripped her wrist with both of his trapped ones. "You can't. Rey. They've taken the Force from me." Tears brimmed in his good eye, and his voice shook. "I can't reach it anymore. I'm—I have no power anymore. I'm nothing."

Rey sucked in a breath and tried to take this in. "There has to be an antidote," she said. "I know about the Force-blocker—it's derived from some kind of plant, there has to be a—"

"There isn't." His shoulders sagged. "You can't come here. If you do, they'll take your ability to connect to the Force, and you'll be killed. Please. Don't come."

"Did Hux do this?" Rey demanded. "Tell me."

"Yes," he said faintly. "He's been plotting it for some time. He came to my apartment." Kylo's eye went vacant. "He injected me after I was pinned down and I got in a good headbutt." He half-smiled. "Worth it."

Rey blinked. "Did you—did you split his lip?"

"Yeah. Why?" Kylo focused on her.

_The children. They're on board._

"There are children on board the _Finalizer_ ," she whispered. "They're going to be killed if someone doesn't do something."

"You can't," Kylo whispered. "If you die—" His throat closed suddenly, his eyes watering. "I can't consider that."

"What are they going to do to you?"

His eye opened again. "Hux—Hux has scheduled a public execution in twelve hours. He wants to ensure I'm thoroughly demoralized before then. He's taking an inordinate amount of pleasure in the fact I'm as helpless as one of his troopers."

"They're torturing you," Rey said, anger flaring bright and hot in her chest. "Ren. Hey. Look at me." He swiveled his head around and focused on her. "I think I know someone who might be able to help. I'm going to find a way to fix this. I'm going to save you. And I'm going to get those children off the ship safely. I'm coming for you. I promise."

He looked at her dismally. "Stubborn little scavenger," he said, but it was affectionate, not cruel. "There are some things even you can't fix."

"But you're not one of them," she retorted, and leaned down to kiss his forehead again, tasting the salt and iron on her lips. "Trust me. I'll find you. This isn't goodbye."

He raised his head and looked at her for a long moment. "Rey. If I die—"

"You're not going to die," she insisted.

"Just—if I do. If you can't pull this off, if something happens, whatever. If—" he struggled to get the words out, "—if I die, I want you to know—"

"I know," she said, tears in her eyes in spite of herself. "You're sorry. You don’t have to keep saying it. I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago."

"No, not that—" He struggled for a moment. "I—I want you to know that you're—you're the most extraordinary person I've met in a long time. And—and I—"

Rey's ears popped, and the Force shifted. She was left staring at an empty floor in a ruined apartment, and millions of kilometers away in a cell on the _Finalizer_ , Kylo Ren stared up at nothing at all, his final words to her dying on his lips.

~

"Welcome to the Mon Endu spa, how may I help you, Madame Jedi?"

"I need to speak to Min Moonspinner immediately, please. It's an emergency." Rey focused on the young woman at the front desk and tried to convey her urgency through a mere stare.

It seemed to work. The receptionist stood up immediately and bowed, then disappeared through a curtained wall.

Rey waited. A minute later, Min walked out, looking exactly the same as she had that morning, which seemed ages ago. "Madame Jedi," she said. "Please, come into my office."

Rey nodded and followed her into the back.

Her office was a tiny space about the size of one of the massage rooms. There was a desk, a chair, a rug, and a few hanging lamps, but the real attention-getter was the massive, floor to wall shelves of extracts, oils, dried plants, and tinctures. Min sat behind her desk and Rey shut the door.

"What brings you back, Madame Jedi?" she asked pleasantly.

Rey sat down at the other chair, facing her. "I need to know what kind of plant exists that has the ability to take Force sensitivity away from a person." She extended her hand and presented the small, white data-rod that Sheendra had given her to Min.

Min plugged the rod into the data-jack on her desk, and the room filled with holograms of the unknown plant, diagrams of parts, folders, orders, and holovids marked with the emblem of the First Order.

Her face changed almost immediately. "How did you get this?" she asked, shocked.

"Sheendra Sella gave it to me," Rey said. "I assume Gatalentan Intelligence is working with Chandrila in some capacity."

"You assume correctly," said Min, and tapped on the hologram of the plant. "This is called _forceblight._ It grows on Gatalenta, only on the highest peaks. It's very rare. It was once used culturally in ceremonial duels to dull the senses, to level the playing field for individuals who had an advantage using the Force." She sighed. "Our intel tells us the First Order obtained it through smugglers, the black market. They've created a substance from it that completely takes the Force connection from sensitive beings."

_Black market. Nar Shadda. That's why they sponsored Kylo Ren._

"There must be an antidote," said Rey.

"There is." Min rose, went to the shelf, and pulled out a small vial of oil, transparisteel within a metal casing. "This is a very potent tincture of the oil I used on you this morning. It is made of two plants, the names of which are kept secret to all but the makers. When used in weak doses, it enhances an individual's connection to the Force. When used in concentrated doses, it restores a bond with the Force, broken by the forceblight."

"It can create Force-sensitivity?" Rey gaped. "But if you can create—"

"It does not create a connection to the Force," Min corrected her. "It restores that which was lost. If you try to create a connection to the Force, you will kill the being you place this upon."

"How?" Rey stared at the tiny bottle.

"My dear young Jedi," said Min patiently. "The forceblight tincture the Order has created sends all the midichlorians in a body into hibernation state. It does not kill them, only puts them to sleep. The oil here wakes them back up, in a sense. Putting this on the skin of a being with a low count of midichlorians will send them into shock. Then their organs shut down and they die."

"Oh," said Rey. She took that in for a moment. "Well, I need that oil. How much do you want for it?"

Min blinked. "Who do you intend to use it on?"

Rey took a deep breath. "The children I saw. They're in danger and dying. And… so is one of my friends."

Min thought for a moment. "Then I shall give it to you freely. Take this," she said, and handed her a leather pouch. "It has shock absorbent material inside, and will protect the vial from being broken."

Rey took it and secured it to her belt. "How do I administer it?" she asked, as Min handed her the vial.

"Open it and place the end on the victim's forehead," said Min. "That is the gateway to knowledge of the Force, according to _Ato_."

Rey inwardly rolled her eyes. More Force-woo. Whatever. Forehead sounded fine. "And what if I get it on me?"

"I would caution you very hard to not allow that to happen," said Min. "It can open pathways to abilities you do not want to have."

"I will be careful," she promised. "Thank you. And—if I don't make it back, tell the Sellas thank you from me."

"I will," said Min, smiling. "May the Force be with you, Rey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm still settling in at my new digs with the husband, and I hope you are all enjoying this so far!! I have written up to chapter 39, and right now I'm just going back and editing while I work on chapter 40 because my days for now are mostly unpacking and going out to go get my military spouse ID and all that fun jazz you have to do when you marry a service member. LET ME KNOW HOW YOU'RE ALL LIKING THE PLOT


	34. The Spark

Rey dashed out of the lift and into room 990 back at 500 Republica to find the place swarming with people—all new Resistance recruits, in fresh new uniforms, listening to Poe speaking.

Apparently the recruiting team had been very, _very_ busy.

She edged into the living room, people giving her sideways glances of awe and recognition, until she reached the center and was looking up at Poe.

"—So, we have become the fire that will burn the First Order out of the galaxy," he was saying. "We have ships, we have equipment, we have hundreds of you—from gunners to pilots to demolitions experts—" a sooty-faced young man in the corner grinned—"and we're going to help the galaxy fight this monster, and heal the path it leaves behind once and for all."

A cheer went up. Poe stepped down off the caf table. "Ground crew, you have your orders from Lieutenant Connix. Engineers, follow Chief Tico. Everyone else, await further orders." He turned to Rey as people began to file out, and without preamble said, "Where in the _hell_ have you been?"

"Whatever you're planning to do," Rey said, "you have to call it off. We have to attack the _Finalizer_."

"We have to _what?_ " Poe stared at her. "Are you crazy?"

"Listen to me!" she snapped. "We have to go save the children. They're on the _Finalizer_ with Hux right now. And they have Ren. They're going to kill him in—" she checked the chrono on the wall—"ten and a half hours."

"We are not going to have a suicide mission be the first mission we run as the New Republic Resistance Army," Poe said firmly. "You missed the rest of the session. We have to be offworld in four hours. We've been given three new command ships—the _Organa,_ the _Lakebright_ and the _Raddus II;_ a fully stocked medical frigate, a fleet of X-wings, and eight bombers, and they're all waiting for us at the shipyard along with the rest of the recruits that we couldn't fit in the apartment. I have to get another briefing done once I'm on the _Organa_ and—"

"Poe," said Rey, trying again. "They're children. I am not going to let them die on that ship. And I'm not going to let Kylo Ren die either. If you don't give me a ship, I'm stealing one."

He blinked and opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Koo Milham asking for a verification print on a document, which he turned and signed off on, then turned back to her. "First of all," he said firmly. "Protocol dictates you refer to me as 'General Dameron' when we're in front of people. Second of all, if you try to steal anything, I'm going to have to submit you to disciplinary action."

Rey lifted her chin and glared at him. "You can't subject me to anything if I'm not part of the New Resistance—the New—the military," she snapped.

"You're a Resistance member," he said.

"Are you going to help me or not?" she demanded.

Poe looked at her for a long moment and shook his head. "We can't," he said, sounding tired, and rubbed his eyes. "First order of duty comes from the Senate, and we're providing relief to several planets affected economically by the destruction of the Hosnian system. We can't drop that. We have orders."

Rey swallowed hard. "Then I'm revoking my membership," she said. "I resign."

He stared at her. "You can't do that," he said. "You've been broadcast exposing the First Order to every home, nest, and crèche in the galaxy. How are we supposed to explain you leaving us? You can't just go."

"Yes, I can." She drew herself up and crossed her arms. "I'm a Jedi. You can't make me do anything. And as Han Solo's last crew member, the Falcon is under my command—mine and Chewbacca's. So we're taking it and we're going."

From over Poe's shoulder, Chewie rumbled, giving her a look.

Rey nodded at him. "I figured you'd be even more tired of fighting in wars than I am," she told him.

Poe swiveled his head around and gave them both looks. "You—you're going? Chewbacca?"

The Wookie roared out a garbled string of syllables, and Rey looked at Poe. "He says yes, and that going after cubs about to die is more honorable than handing someone money to soothe their troubles."

Poe set his mouth into a hard line. "Great. He knows where it's parked. Have fun." He turned his back on her.

Rey felt a twinge of grief. "Poe, I didn't want to have to do it like this," she said.

"We need you on our side," he snapped, whirling back on her. "You abandon us now and you're no better than Luke."

"The difference is that I'm coming back," she retorted, and turned away from him, walking into her bedroom and packing a bag.

Clothes. The ancient Jedi texts. The notes she'd scribbled down on scraps of flimsiplast, a few styluses. And Kylo Ren's lightsaber, battered and ruined. Chewie lingered in the doorway. "We already have food and water on the Falcon, right?"

 _Enough for a few weeks,_ he barked as she slipped in a datapad and strapped a chrono on her wrist, timing it to count down from ten hours.

"Good. Force knows what kind of condition those younglings are in." She closed the flap and buckled it shut, slinging it over her shoulder. "Okay. Lightsaber, magic Force oil. Am I forgetting anything?"

The Wookie shrugged and made a half-yipping noise. _I think that's all._

"Great. Time to go."

She took one last look around at the walls and left, Chewbacca a tall, menacing shadow over her shoulder.

~

The Falcon was parked in a hangar several miles from the apartment building. They had to catch an airbus, then a smaller hovercab, _then_ wait for public transit to arrive. By the third leg of the trip, Rey was checking her chrono anxiously and trying to quiet Chewie, who was sharing some very colorful thoughts in Shyriiwook about the passenger behind them trying to shove all four of his legs into the backs of their seats.

When they finally got to the hangar, Rey had eight hours left on her chrono. She tried to quiet her pounding heart while Chewbacca argued with the (fortunately) Wookie hangar-master, who had the wrong landing space for the Falcon logged on his datapad. That only took about twenty minutes and three exchanged threats of ripping arms off before they found the correct space, and set off on the hoverlift to get to the ship.

Once they'd finally arrived, Chewie got into the cockpit to run diagnostics and ensure the hyperdrive was enabled while Rey unpacked everything and stowed it for flight.

She leaned back and plugged her datapad into the ship's computer. "All right, talk to me," she muttered.

Chewbacca barked at her from the cockpit. "Yes, take off!" she called. "I'm trying to find the First Order fleet. They can't be in Coruscant's airspace. Can you scan from up there?"

He yowled back an affirmative and she felt the ship lift, then accelerate.

Rey didn't even bother looking out the viewport at the receding planet below, she was so intent on her work. Chewie called back that he was scanning, and she disconnected a few wires from the ship's computer, splicing them into her datapad and taping the wires down. She tapped the pad impatiently, and finally it lit up, showing a range of ships within several hundred kilometers.

"If I was a First Order fleet about to execute someone, where would I be hiding?" she mused aloud, widening the range and scanning. The possibilities were endless, and without a connection to Kylo through the Force, she couldn't reach out and sense him…

An idea popped into her head. "Chewie, keep scanning. I'm going to meditate." She dropped to her knees and sat cross-legged, folding her hands in her lap.

She couldn't connect to Kylo, but she just might be able to find the children on board who hadn't yet had their Force connection severed.

Rey closed her eyes, and reached out.

Darkness. Vast darkness of space. She'd never seen such emptiness—but there was life. A million planets, all crawling with energy, life, light.

 _Focus, that's too much,_ she said to herself, and drew back, trying to narrow down her sight to any living Force-sensitive beings, anywhere in the universe.

So much. So many. There were thousands, uncountable. Rey trembled with the effort of trying to narrow down her search. The Force was huge. Space was huge. Rey thought she might faint from the sheer vastness of the universe. _Please, I'm here! I'm here to help!_ she sent out as strongly as she could, broadcasting her presence to anyone who could hear. It felt like screaming into a pillow. _I'm here! I want to help!_

Sweat broke out on her face. It was too much effort. She tasted blood somewhere, and reached out—

And something small and bright and flamelike touched her and said, _who are you?_

Rey gasped and clutched onto the consciousness, afraid she'd lose it.

 _That hurts!_ She was pushed off with some small force. _Get out of my head!_

 _I'm sorry,_ she said, backing off. _My name is Rey. What's yours?_

_I'm Tem. Are you a ghost?_

_No, I'm not. I'm a Jedi. I'm trying to find children the First Order took. Are you one?_

_Yes!!_ The elation was contagious. _Yes, there are twenty of us here! Please, can you help? They killed a lot of us. I think we might be next._

Rey felt a pang of loss. _I'm sorry. Do you know where you are? What planet?_

Tem's little presence wavered. _I don’t know what planet. But there's something outside. I can see it through the port across the lab._

 _Tell me what it looks like._ Rey was weakening. There was blood dripping from her nose.

 _It's a lot of asteroids,_ said Tem. _Like a big field of them. I heard someone say it was a graveyard. Does that help?_

_Yes, Tem. I know where you are. I'll see you soon. May the Force be with you._

Rey's eyes flew open and she collapsed, slumping to the ground, gasping for air. "Chewie," she managed, rolling onto her stomach and watching blood drip from her nose. "Set…set coordinates to Alderaan."

The Graveyard.

The asteroid field left after the destruction of Leia's planet.

They'd brought the last son of the house of Organa home to kill him.


	35. Aboard the Finalizer

Waking up was disorienting, and frankly awful.

Rey groaned and sat up, rubbing her forehead. They were still in hyperspace, and she checked her chrono.  Four hours left. She must have slept through most of the trip. Chewie had apparently put her into the medbay and covered her with a blanket, because she certainly didn't remember climbing into the wall niche herself. Come to think of it, she didn't remember ever passing out, but here she was.

Pulling herself up and swinging her legs out, Rey wiped at her nose and grimaced when flakes of dried blood came away. She staggered down the corridor to the cockpit and hung onto the wall, feeling dizzy. "Chewie," she said hoarsely, and the Wookie turned his head and yelped a string of syllables she translated as, _don't you ever do that again, I thought you were dying._

"Sorry," she said, and sank down into the copilot seat. "How much further?"

He flipped a few switches and scanned the readout. _Well, I had to reroute our path due to a storm, but we should be coming out of hyperspace soon. Go clean up._

She sighed and stood, wobbling her way back into the crew cabin, where she washed the crusty nosebleed aftermath off her face and looked into the mirror to make sure it was gone for good.

Rey felt a little better after that. She made it back into the medbay and ate a ration pack, then sat cross-legged on the floor and closed her eyes, meditating.

Hyperspace was easier. The Force found her, and she drew her strength from it, feeling it wash the fatigue away from her muscles, her mind. All her fear disappeared, replaced by clarity and peace of spirit.

As the ship shuddered, coming out of hyperspace, she opened her eyes and leaped to her feet, her saber flying into her hand, ready for action.

Back in the cockpit, Chewbacca enabled the cloaking device that Rose Tico had installed for them, shielding them from the scanners of the First Order.

Rey joined him in the cockpit and stared in awe. Alderaan's system, gone for over thirty years, still retained its star, which cast stark light over the innumerable chunks of floating, dead planet that reached for thousands of klicks in all directions. The _Finalizer_ was sitting far inside the outer edge, an unmistakable wedge-shaped shadow looming at the heart of the field, surrounded by several other massive Star Destroyers. The whole First Order fleet was here, it seemed.

"They must have shields up," said Rey. "There's no way they made it in there without them."

Chewie yipped. _I can enable our cloaking mechanism and fly in._

"All these ships have an ejection port, for waste and scraps." Rey looked over the ship. "I'll take the controls. We can get in closer, but we have to fly carefully."

Chewbacca shrugged out of his seat and switched with her. Rey sat down, concentrated, and accelerated, flying behind asteroids and ducking under them.

They finally made it to the ship, unseen. Rey flew down below the underbelly and cut the engines, looking up in search of a port. "There has to be one," she muttered.

Just as she glanced over to the rear, a wide port opened quickly, spilling out a load of scraps and debris, then slowly closed. "There!" she cried, and flipped the engines back on, flying up and engaging the magnetic landing feet, turning a 180 and landing on the underside of the massive destroyer.

 _How often does it open?_ Chewie barked, as Rey hurried to the back, gathering her small pack up—clothes, food, water. _We might have to wait a while._

"I think I can force it open," she said. "It's like a lift door, right?" _Easy-breezy. I can do this._ She tuned back to him. "Okay. We can put the Falcon through there. Get ready to disengage the mag-feet. On my mark." Rey jumped back in the pilot's seat and reached out with the Force, sensing the incredibly strong electromagnets keeping the hatch shut, the interior hatch that provided a secondary barrier for the outside hatch, and the timer that opened them once... every hour.

 _Well, I can't wait an hour._ Rey concentrated hard, feeling for the magnets, the polarization, the switch that disengaged the magnetic fields and let the doors…open.

Chewie disengaged the locks and Rey slammed the accelerator, the first hatch remaining open as they slipped inside, then the second opening as Rey broke the magnetic field. The Falcon landed smoothly on a firm surface, and Rey flipped the switches again, the doors shutting and leaving them in pitch blackness.

"We did it," she said, gasping in relief, and Chewie howled in delight. She unbuckled her belts. "Okay, time to go. We have an hour until these doors re-open automatically and eject the ship. You stay here in case I don't make it back in time, so the Falcon doesn't get abandoned in space."

 _Take this,_ said Chewie, and tossed her a comlink. _And don't get lost._

"I won't," she told him, and threw her arms around his big, furry frame. "Be back soon, okay?"

 _Tell that cub—tell him—_ Chewbacca struggled, and looked down. _Never mind. He knows._

Rey checked the sensors and noted that the chamber was pressurized properly and filling with breathable atmosphere—a good sign for her. "I'll be back soon," she said again, and tapped the panel that opened the ramp.

Rey inched down it, her pack slung over her back. First order of duty, find her way out of the garbage.

She lit up a glow-rod and saw that the floor was clear of obstacles, but the whole place stank to high heaven. Covering her nose, she hurried across the floor an up to an access ramp, Force-fiddling with the door panel until she got it to spring open.

She stepped through into a shining black hallway, lined with pipes, instrument panels, and banks of switches. _Ah, I'm in engineering._ The place seemed to be deserted. Rey looked both ways, wondering how to get out.

Fortunately, there was a diagram of the ship bolted to a wall, complete with a YOU ARE HERE label beside a tiny First Order symbol. She was on the very lowest level of the ship, and the closest lifts were a short walk away. Rey hoped she wouldn't be seen, and quickly tucked her pack under her cloak, then drew the hood over her head. Her reflection in the polished wall looked ridiculous, but hopefully with her face obscured she could at least make it into the lift without being seen.

Rey got to the lifts and pressed the call button. She had no idea what floor the kids might be on, but up was the best direction.

Voices from back in the corridor sounded suddenly, and she froze, unable to find a place to hide. There was a large trash receptacle by the lift, and without further ado she climbed into it, pack first, then the rest of her.

It didn't smell too bad—this appeared to be a bin for flimsiplast scraps only. Rey stilled and waited.

"I mean, if it was up to me, I wouldn't be going up to see any of that," said a male voice, filtered through a Stormtrooper helmet. "But, you know. General's orders."

"Supreme Leader," the other voice reminded him, "and I know what you mean. Say what you want about Ren, but I always thought he was a good leader. You know. Believed in a goal, all that. Even if he did have some issues."

The first man chuckled. "You remember when FR-6745 and GB-4546 came running into the mess hall on Starkiller and told us Ren was carving up the interrogation room again? Thought their eyes were gonna pop out."

"Hey, someone's called a lift already," said the second man. "Huh."

"Electronic issues," said the first, dismissively. "We just got a report that the compacter's circuits shorted out. The doors opened again right after the scheduled emission. This whole level is full of bugs. Last week there was an issue with the doors on Bay 2, they wouldn't open. Typical."

"Well, at least we don't have to log 'em until after the execution." The second trooper's armor squeaked as he shifted his weight. "Personally, I think dragging everyone away from their stations to watch that is… a little bit overkill."

Trooper One snorted, a buzz of static. "Will all personnel _please_ report to Hangar A?" he mimicked, in a very good impersonation of Hux's nasal, clipped accent. "I've got a _dreadful_ headache, and I _must_ have an execution today." Rey stuffed her sleeve into her mouth to keep herself from laughing in spite of herself.

"Cut that out," said the second trooper, but he was laughing, too. "You're gonna get yourself court-martialed."

The lift dinged, and their voices faded away as the doors shut.

Rey lifted herself out of the bin, yanking her pack back out. So the execution was scheduled in Hangar A in…she checked her chrono. Two and a half hours. Everyone must be assembling, and hopefully she'd be able to get through the ship unseen.

She hurried over to the diagram on the wall again. Holding cells were on deck 24, near the stern. That had to be where Kylo was. But the science division and the labs, that was all on the other end of the karking ship, near the bow on deck 40.

Rey hesitated, looking back and forth, torn. How long was this going to take? She glanced at her chrono again and gnawed her lip. She didn't have enough time to get up to Kylo, find him, free him, sneak back down to engineering with him, stow him on the Falcon, then come back for the children—the place would be crawling with troopers once someone raised the hue and cry that he was gone. She'd never make it back.

But she couldn't leave children to die. If she got to them first and herded them down to the Falcon, she might escape enough notice to sneak back up and grab Ren—in the event it took so little time that she could get Kylo off the ship before anyone noticed he was gone, and she didn't think that would be feasible, all things considered.

_It's the kids or Kylo. Pick one._

Rey clenched her jaw. How many children had she seen in the vision? Ten? Eleven? A dozen lives in exchange for one. But she'd promised him. She'd promised she was coming for him.

She made her decision, and ran back to the lift, mashing down the call button. When the doors slid open, she slammed her fist down on the button for floor 40.

~

Temiri Blagg wasn't a boy who frightened easily. He'd lived through working the stables on Cantonica's Canto Bight, and through the badly-tempered groom's verbal and physical assaults, and through—well, a lot, really. Not much scared him, but the First Order did.

The white-coated scientist overseeing this cycle had left all the lights off and left, talking with her assistant about an execution as the far door shut. Tem was glad they were leaving, but he didn't care for the dark much. He was still locked into a cage just wide enough to hold him and his friend Ara.

"It's okay," he whispered to her, over the sound of sniffles and very quiet crying from the other cages. "Someone is coming."

"I wish Oni was here," she whispered back, her voice shaking. "Why did Bargwill sell us to them?"

"They gave him money," Tem said. "I saw. He's stupid and greedy."

"Who's coming? Tell me again," Ara pleaded.

"A Jedi. Her name is Rey." Tem reached out and held Ara's grubby hand, his own no cleaner. "I could feel her in my head, kind of. And we talked. It was the Force."

"I wish I could feel her," Ara said. "Maybe I don’t have the Force."

"Yes, you do," he insisted. "You can grab up brooms just like me without touching them. I've seen you. Oni can't, that's why they didn’t take him."

The far door thumped with a sudden sound, and Tem let go of Ara, pressing himself to the bars. "What was that?" Ara asked.

"I don't know." He squinted, trying to make out the shadows. "I think someone's coming in."

"Is it her?" Ara leaned to the next cage. "Can you see?"

The kids in the next cage all looked at each other and passed the message to the next cage, over and over. The doors thumped again, and then someone knocked, slow and tentative.

Tem gripped the bars with both hands. "HELP!" he shouted as loud as he could, willing to risk a jab from an electropike if it meant someone was out there.

The doors opened, and a cloaked figure strode into the room quickly, a long cape billowing around her ankles. Tem's mouth fell wide open as she gestured with one hand, and the lights all came up, illuminating a Jedi lady (a real Jedi!) with pretty eyes and a serious expression on her face, her long hair pulled back.

"Which one of you is Tem?" she asked quickly, scanning the room.

"Me!" said Tem, still aghast.

She glanced at him and her eyes widened as she approached his cage. "I have to ask you a question, and it's going to sound funny," she told him, squatting down to his level. "Was General Hux in here recently?"

"Yes," said Ara. "He was in here and Tem pushed him over. Then they jabbed Tem."

"When was that?" the woman asked, slinging a bag off her shoulder and finding a lock-slicer.

"Before everyone left to see the execution," said Tem. "Half an hour, I think."

"Are you all okay?" She came to Tem's cage and started poking at the lock. "Still have the Force?"

"Yes," said Ara. "All the others who got the injection are gone. We're the only ones left." 

"Okay." The Jedi picked Tem's lock and the door sprang open. "I'm Rey. I brought you all food, it's in this pack. One per person, please."

Ara gaped and hustled to the pack, retrieving a ration pack and tearing it open. Tem did the same, and they were joined by more and more hungry kids as Rey went to every cage and freed them all.

Tem swallowed his last mouthful of polystarch and stepped over to Rey. "What are we going to do?"

"We're going to escape," she told him.

"So why are you so sad?" he asked curiously. 

She furrowed her brow at him and frowned, turning away. "Because I have to leave someone else here," she said very softly. "I don't have the time to go help him."

"We can help," said Ara, her mouth full and her red curls bouncing every time she chewed. "Can't we?"

Rey shook her head. "I came to get you all safely off the ship. I won't put you in more danger. You're just kids."

Tem crossed his arms and stuck his chin out. "I don't want anyone else to die. There has to be _something_ we can do."

Rey gave him a look, then glanced over to Ara. "My friend is the one they're going to execute," she told them. "It's Kylo Ren. Do you still want to help me?"

Ara exchanged a look with Tem. "Well," she said.

"I want to knock someone _over_ ," said Tem, jumping up and down in a fit of excitement.

Rey checked her chrono. "All of you gather round." The children clustered in close, dirty faces upturned in awe. "Everyone on the ship is in Hangar A right now, so you'll be able to get into my ship without anyone noticing. Are you all very good at being sneaky and quiet?"

Nods all around. Rey noticed, with a pang, that all of the children had the hardened, sad look that came with being abandoned and learning to fend for oneself—a look she was sure she'd possessed long ago, too.

"I'll take you all to the lift. You press the lowest level button, deck 1, and it will take you to engineering. You take a right, and you walk down to the trash compactor, okay? Door 2. You have thirty minutes to get down there before it opens and the ship inside we sneaked in gets expelled into space. My friend Chewbacca the Wookie is waiting for you."

"We don’t want to escape," said one little Twi'lek boy, nose crusted over with mucus. He sniffed. "We wanna fight."

"Yeah," said a Zabrak girl who couldn't have been more than six. " _Fight_."

A few more of the others made agreeing noises, little fists raised.

Rey shook her head, utterly bemused. "If you stay here, there's a risk of you being caught and killed."

"They have to catch us first," said Tem, his jaw set. "We're faster."

She certainly hadn't counted on a dozen angry children out for blood. _Why did I decide to do this?_ "Okay," Rey said, giving up. "But we're going to meditate first and practice, all right?"

"Like real Jedi? Are you our Master now?" asked Ara.

"I—I _guess_ ," said Rey, throwing her hands up. "Everyone sit on the floor and cross your legs, like this." She sat, demonstrating, and all the children followed suit, facing her. "Now, close your eyes. Take a few breaths. Be calm, and reach out with your feelings. Feel for the Force. It's there."

Rey kept her eyes open as she connected to the Force, sensing the children in front of her, their life forces all aglow. The little Zabrak girl squeaked in surprise. Rey smiled. "Now, focus on me. Can you see me?"

"Yes," said Tem, astonished, his eyes still shut, along with a chorus of confirmation from the children.

"Do you sense the vials on the table across the room?" she asked.

"Yes," said the children, almost in unison.

"I want you to push the vials," Rey told them. "Break them if you want to."

One by one, each of the little tubes on the table slid off the surface and fell to the floor with a clink. Rey smiled as she watched each successful child open their eyes and grin at her in delight. She opened her mouth to say something else, and was started by an enormous crash.

Turning, she saw the table had been upended, and everything on it crashed to the floor.

"Who did that?" she asked curiously, turning. "Tem? Was that you?"

"No, Master Rey," he said, just as confused as she was, and turned—looking at Ara.

She looked up guiltily, her hand still outstretched, and sniffed, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. "It was me, Master," she said. "I'm sorry."

"No, that was impressive. Be careful, though. You could hurt someone if you don't control your power. All of you remember that, please." Rey stood up and righted the table with a wave of her hand. "All right. Whoever is coming with me to go see if we can help my friend, raise your hand."

Every hand went up. Rey sighed in frustration. "Please, please do not get killed," she begged. "All right. Follow me, stay close and quiet. I won't have time for head counts at every checkpoint. Let's go." She brought her comlink up and quickly spoke. "Plan changed. The kids want revenge. I'm outnumbered. Heading to Hangar A now."


	36. Anointed

The trip to Hangar A was surprisingly quiet. All of the children were quick and silent, even the youngest, the little Zabrak girl. Rey swept them all into the lift and checked the wall diagram, pressing the button that would take them down to the main hangar access levels.

"Now, here's what we're going to do," she told them. "We're going to be very quiet and go in on the top levels, high up by the maintenance railings. That way, we can look down and see what's happening, and when we see that, we can make a plan."

"Can I push someone over in the plan?" asked Tem eagerly, his light hair stuck to his forehead. "Can I push over Hux again?"

"Maybe," said Rey, hiding her amusement at his enthusiasm. "For now, just do as I say, okay?"

It was a bit of a walk out the lifts, to the maintenance hatch and onto the catwalk that lined the highest parts of the hangar. Rey stepped softly, the children almost silent as they followed her. The hangar was vast, one huge empty space on the far wall showing the emptiness of space, a few asteroids floating in view. The blue sheen of a shield stretching across the space, floor to wall to ceiling, kept the air from escaping.

Ten stories below, phalanxes of troopers in white armor stood at attention in squares, facing the empty wall. Hux had been busy in his twelve hours, Rey thought. A large podium and raised platform had been erected at the head of the columns, a huge First Order banner hanging down behind it. The platform was surrounded by black-and-navy suited officers, all at parade rest.

But there was no sign of Hux or of Ren. Rey checked her chrono. They still had just under an hour until the execution. Maybe she still had time to race back to the holding cells and—

"Look," whispered Ara, tugging on her sleeve and pointing.

Far below her, a ginger and black shape was striding through the ranks, followed by two troopers in white. Rey's throat tightened in anger. It was unmistakably Hux. Beside her, Tem stiffened, his little fists gripping the rail.

"We might have to cause a distraction," said Rey softly.

"I can do that," said Ara. "If we try, we can make the lights all go off. I did that before, once."

"I'll let you know," Rey told her. Was this how Luke had felt when she had arrived on the island, over-eager and wide-eyed? She felt old. "For now, we stick to the plan, stay up here and be quiet."

Hux made it to his podium and gripped it with both hands as the troopers took up their guard behind him. Even from a hundred feet away, Rey could see the expression of almost mad glee on his face. "Today," he began, nasal voice amplified by a rod on the podium, "is the final death of the Republic. Many of you have heard rumors. Whispers.  Who killed our Supreme Leader, Snoke? You have been told that it was a girl, a nobody with a lightsaber who bested Snoke's apprentice, Kylo Ren, in battle a second time and escaped." His eyes glinted. "That, I am sorry to tell you, is a lie."

The troopers didn't move, but Rey saw a few officers give each other looks.

"I will give you truth. I will give you order. No more secrets, nothing in the shadows." Hux gestured, and the two troopers flanking his podium left, leaving the stage. Rey couldn't see where they were going as they disappeared into a shadowed corner. Hux continued. "Supreme Leader Snoke was murdered by none other than his own apprentice, Kylo Ren."

That brought some shocked sounds and murmurs from the officer area, and a few swiveled heads from the troopers. Rey could sense the unease and shock emanating from them.

The troopers returned, dragging a shape between them. Rey clenched her hands around the railing in shock as she realized that the shape was Kylo Ren.

"Yes, his own apprentice, your very own leader—he sought to destroy us. To destroy the Order. Isn't that right, Ren—or should I say, _Ben Solo_?" Hux sneered as the limp form was dumped unceremoniously to the right of the podium. Rey could barely make him out, dressed as he was in baggy gray prison-wear, and she certainly couldn’t tell if he was breathing at this distance. "He has been tried and found guilty of treason and conspiracy to murder by me, the Supreme Leader of the First Order. His sentence is death, to be carried out now." Hux gestured, and the two troopers stepped forward, crackling vibro-axes activated.

Rey stood up without thinking. "Tem. Ara. Get the others to the ship. I'm stopping this."

"But—"

"Go!" she snapped, and leaped out into empty air, igniting her lightsaber as she fell.

With a thump, the Force cushioned her fall and she landed on her own two feet, blade humming, the bright smell of ozone cutting through the air as she ran up the line of troopers, a roaring battle-scream ripping from her throat.

"Fire on that woman!" screamed Hux, pointing.

Her saber cut through the troopers like a hot knife through bantha butter. Every shot fired glanced off her blade, and one deflected scarlet bolt shot through the banner at the top, narrowly missing Hux's white face.

"Call the guard!" Hux shrieked, face purpling in rage. "Call the guard _now!_ "

Behind her, she sensed movement, and turned in time to see a trooper falling away from her as if pushed by an invisible hand, his blaster misfiring wildly.

But she hadn't—

She looked up. Tem was standing, a blur of light color, at the top of the catwalk, both hands out.

 _Karking kids,_ she thought affectionately, and turned back, carving up another line of troopers. She was halfway up to the platform, and could just make out Kylo's face—he looked barely conscious, how badly was he—

A bolt of fire nearly singed her ear, and she gathered the Force and leapt high into the air, deflecting shots. Hux was still screaming, the two executioners had fled, and the vibro-axes remained deactivated at his feet.

Rey landed and whipped her hands back, pushing as hard as she could with the Force. Scores of troopers went flying back, as if a wave had crashed into them. One twitch in the Force, and every blaster carbine was crumpled instantly, rendering them unable to fire.

 _That will buy me some time,_ she thought, and turned her attention on Hux.

He was on his hands and knees, scrabbling for the vibro-axe.

Well, whatever else you could say about him, he wasn't a coward. Rey jumped up on the dais and saluted him as he finally got the thing activated and held it out in front of him. "Hello again," she said.

Hux snarled and swung. She met his blow with her saber, the strands of energy that served as blade on his axe sputtering and sparking. Again, and again, and again.

"You've interfered with the Order for the _last time_ ," he spat.

"Oh, I hope not," she said, and threw him off. "You're—"

But what Hux was, he never heard. A massive explosion rocked the hangar, and knocked both of them off the dais, back toward the flickering blue shield. Rey landed hard on her side and dropped her saber, and Hux went sprawling, the axe skittering away.

She sat up, coughing, and saw that the kids—the _kids_ —had somehow rigged four TIE fighters to blow—and it looked like most of the troopers and officers still in the hangar were dead, Tem had a _grenade_ , how in _hell_ —

"Brats!" shrieked Hux, dragging himself up off the floor. His split lip had re-opened, and his normally immaculately combed hair was hanging in his face, his pale eyes burning. "I'll kill them all, every last one of them—"

Rey struggled to her feet and called her saber back to her hand. "You'll go through me first," she snarled, and held her blade out, barring his passage.

"I won't stop," he gasped. "I won't stop until every single one of you is wiped from the galaxy. I _will_ have order."

"If all we had was order, there would be no order," said Rey, panting. "There must be a balance. You must have one to have the other. Only a fanatic can't see that."

"I…am _not…a fanatic_!" screamed Hux, and lunged at her, unarmed.

Rey lifted her saber and clocked him with the hilt as hard as she could in the side of the head. He slumped to the ground, unconscious and bleeding.

 _Ren._ She didn’t take time to check Hux's body for vital signs. She crawled up onto the dais and clipped her saber to her belt, rolling Kylo over onto his back. "Kylo!"

He didn't respond. Rey yanked open his shirt and pressed her ear to his chest, trying to hear a heartbeat. Yes, it was there. Faint, but steady. She lifted her head and took in the state of him. He'd been beaten again, probably more than once. His left side was horrifically discolored, an odd lump there signifying a broken rib or worse. The entire left side of his face was swollen and bruised, his lips cracked and bleeding.

"Wake up," she begged, unable to lift him. "Please. Kylo." Tears of frustration escaped and tracked down her face. "Ben? Ben, please. It's me. It's Rey. I came back for you, like I promised."

Ever so slowly, Kylo's right eye opened and found her, focusing on her face. His lips parted, a spill of dark red blood pouring out and staining his chin and cheeks. He coughed, blood spraying up in a cloud. "Ey," he managed, faint and hoarse. "R—Rey."

"I'm here," she said. "I'm really here now, and don't you _dare_ die on me."

"Y'said—" he struggled for a moment. "Said y'd never. Call me Ben again."

"Oh, shut up," she said hotly, and he managed half a grin. His teeth were stained red. "Look, can you stand? I can't lift you by myself."

"C'n try," he rasped, and rolled to his side, pausing for a moment as his face paled under the bruises. "Ribs broke." He got his knees bent, then rolled up to all fours, where he was suddenly and noisily sick on the platform.

"Okay, easy," said Rey, glancing back at Hux's prone form. "Don't overdo it."

"Moving," he said, fighting to breathe, "is overdoing it. At this point." He coughed and spat out a glob of blood.

Rey got her arm under his good side and managed to half-lift him as he leaned against her. "Got you," she said. "Use those legs. Come on."

"Should've just let me die," he said tightly as they moved off the platform and began to shuffle back up the hangar floor, past bodies in white armor.

"Absolutely not," she informed him. "One foot at a time. We can get there. Come on."

He was astonishingly resilient, even cut off from the Force. Rey pretended to ignore the tears of agony streaming down his face as they made it past the smoking ruin of the TIE fighters.

"Tem!" she called, and the little blond head appeared from behind a pile of rubble. "What's the news?"

"They're calling for reinforcements!" he said. "We gotta _go_!"

"All right," said Rey, still clutching Kylo so tightly she thought her hand might lose blood. "You all did a great job." She got her free hand up to her mouth with the comlink and spoke quickly. "Chewie, what's your position?"

A static-y, garbled yowl met their ears. Rey frowned. "Okay, can you come alongside Hangar A and drop in for a pickup? We're all here, Ben's here—"

Another explosion shook the ship, and a few of the kids lost their balance and landed on their rumps in surprise. "Yeah, I don’t know what that is—" Rey paused, listening. "Wait, _who's_ firing on the bridge?"

Kylo raised his head. "The New Republic Resistance Army?" he said, eyes wide. "He said—"

"I heard what he—wait, you _can_ still understand—"

Outside, past the blue shield barring the hangar from space, a formation of X-wings screamed past—their leader a T-70, painted orange and black. The lead ship peeled away, pulled up and hovered for a second, and Rey could just make out Poe's distinctive helmet before the thrusters fired and the ship streaked off into the blackness of space.

" _Yes_!" Rey screamed, pumping her fist.

Her comlink crackled. " _This is Black Leader._ _Black Leader to Rey, I have visual confirmation of you on board the Finalizer. Stay put. We're taking the fight elsewhere and coming for you. Repeat, we are coming for you. Over."_

Rey locked eyes with Kylo as the transmission ended.

The Republic had come at last.

"Okay, kids," she said, and looked at the children. "Chewie's bringing the Falcon into the hangar and the good guys knows we're in here, so they're not going to fire on us. Now we sit tight and wait, okay?"

As the kids all sat, huddled in a circle, Rey lowered Kylo to the ground and pulled the rations and a bottle of water out of her pack. "Drink this," she ordered, and handed him the bottle. He lifted it to his mouth with shaking hands, and spilled some of it over his chin.

Ara scooted over and held it for him. "Don't drink it too fast," she told him, her serious, thin little face inches from his and entirely unperturbed by the blood. "You might puke."

Kylo grunted in assent and sipped at it. "I don't think they fed me the whole time," he said, and tore open the ration pack, taking out a chunk of green bread and bluish meat. ""Think they knocked a tooth or three loose, too," he said, chewing carefully.

"Did you really betray the Order?" asked Tem, his little face lighting up. "And kill the Supreme Leader like they said?"

"Tem, that's a personal question," said Rey reprovingly.

"Its fine," said Kylo. "Um, yeah. I killed Snoke." He stole a sideways glance at the kids, most of whom looked delighted.

"So you're a hero!" said Ara, beaming.

"No, I'm not," he said firmly, looking uncomfortable.

Rey's comlink crackled. She listened to Chewie's garbled yowl. "All right, let's start moving toward the front. Chewie needs a place to land, and there's too much junk back here."

They started moving, all eleven kids trailing behind Rey and Kylo as they staggered their way to the only clear spot on the floor, up behind the ruined dais. The banner was still burning, fire eating through the synthplast material slowly as specks of ash rained down like snow. Outside, the Falcon cruised by, then lifted, yawed, and came about, passing through the blue shield and settling on the space.

The gangplank lowered, and Chewie hung out, waving. The kids shied away slightly.

 _Cubs!_ The Wookie was delighted. _Come up here, nothing to be afraid of._

"He says go on up, he's very pleased to see you and don't be afraid," said Rey. "Get going."

An alarm began to blare, a klaxon siren wailing out in terror. "Go!" rasped Kylo, and the kids scattered up past the large, furry Wookiee and into the bowels of the Falcon.

 _Now you and Ben. Come._ Chewie indicated the interior, the safety of the Falcon, just visible past the gangway.

Rey took a step with Kylo, and an angry scream from her right caught her off guard.

General Hux, half his uniform undone, bowled straight into them both, knocking Rey over on top of Kylo. Chewbacca roared, furious, his teeth bared.

"I will _not_ …" Hux spat, clutching at Rey in wild fury and shaking her so hard her head slapped into the floor, "I will _not_ _allow this_!"

"Rey!" Kylo shouted, and struggled to get out from under her, the combined weight of her and Hux crushing him down.

Rey couldn't reach her saber, both arms pinned. Behind her, boots stomped close by and crackling vibro-blades ignited. "Chewbacca, go!" she screamed. "Go, go, take the kids and go!"

Chewie howled in misery, and seconds later, she heard the engines of the Falcon fire up.

Her face turned to the sublight burners, she stared blindly into pure, white-blue light and thought, _it's okay. The children are safe. It's going to be okay._

Then another rumble shook the ship, and Hux was knocked off them both. Rey lurched off Ren, gasping for air, and grabbed him. "Kylo!"

He was white-faced, and she could sense the agony pouring off him in waves. "Rey," he answered, and she thought he might be sick again. "You should have gone."

"Not without you," she gasped, and looked up, seeing a set of navy-robed guards advance, vibroblades crackling in their gloved hands. "There's more guards."

"We can't fight them," he said, his voice hardly a whisper.

"I'll fight them," she said stubbornly, and stood over his body, dropping her cloak and brandishing her saber.

Hux stood, swaying slightly. "You're nothing but trash," he snarled. "Your precious Resistance isn't coming for you. You're nothing."

"It's the New Republic Resistance Army," she corrected him. "Where did these guys come from?" She pointed at the advancing guards with her lightsaber. "I liked the red outfits better."

His lip lifted in derision. "They're my personal guard, hand-picked from my troops for fighting ability. If you think you can defeat them—"

Rey lifted a hand, and one of the guards went flying into the air, blade clattering to the floor as he sailed thirty feet and crashed into a TIE fighter, limp legs dangling from the wing strut.

"You were saying?" she asked, looking back at Hux.

Hux signaled, and every remaining guard lunged at Rey. Caught off guard, she whirled and spun and kicked and slashed, but their armor was of tougher stuff than her lightsaber could pierce, and before she knew what was happening she was dragged away from Kylo and pinned down, one man's elbow crooked beneath her chin, two others pinning down her legs and arms at the elbows and knees. A pair of mag-locks clamped around her wrists, rendering her immobile. Every few seconds there was an electric shock, making it impossible for her to focus on the Force.

He reached into his belt and pulled out a hyposyringe, his pale, mad eyes never leaving her face. "This might even the bloody field a bit," he snapped.

"Rey," croaked Kylo, his eyes rolling upward. "Don't. Hux. _Don't_."

Hux looked down at Ren. "You can't stop me. How does that feel, Solo?" He advanced a step toward Rey. "All it takes is for my guards to pin her down. One little prick, and she's as helpless as you. Useless. Pathetic. _Weak_."

"Please," Kylo gasped, rolling to his side. "Don't."

"I'll never understand why you did it," Hux said, looking at him coldly. "Betrayed everything you worked for, everything you wanted. For what? A _girl_?"

"What do you want from me?" Kylo panted, managing to raise himself up to his knees. There were more tears streaming down his cheeks, and Rey struggled, but was forced down by the guards. "I'm begging you. I'll do anything. Armitage. Please. She has nothing to do with this. Let her go."

Hux flushed, and Rey sensed something dark and jealous, angry and unquiet, stirring around his heart like a krayt dragon. "You never begged," he said. "Not once. Not in the cells. Not when I had three of my men beat you raw with a burncord. Not when they broke your bones. Not once, in all that time. And _now_ you beg me."

"Is that what you want?" Ren asked, his voice a hoarse whisper. "I'll beg you for as long as you want. I’ll wipe your boots with my face. Do whatever you want to me. But don't. Don't touch her."

Rey, inching her fingers down, had just managed to get her hand around the tiny vial of oil on her belt. _How do I get this to him_? she thought, panicked. The ship shook again, the distant rumble of cannons seeping through the infrastructure.

Hux's throat worked, and he glanced over at Rey. "I have no use for her," he said coldly. "Whereas you will live to be a constant and painful reminder of what happens when the First Order is defied." He turned to the guards. "Kill the girl."

Rey was flipped and thrown down on her face, hands under her—still clutching the oil. She sensed a small crack, the tiny shock running through her hands. _No!_

"No!" screamed Kylo, the sound tearing out of his throat. He lunged forward, only to be kicked hard in the face by Hux's boot.

The three guards all lifted their vibro-blades as Hux stepped away from Ren to survey his command being carried out. Rey rolled onto her back, the vial in her fist, and took a deep breath, closing her eyes.

_At least I got to see him one last time._ _At least the children are safe._

"Now!" she heard Hux scream.

The sickening sound of vibroblade sinking into flesh made her flinch, but she felt no pain.

Two things then happened simultaneously. Hux bellowed in rage, and another explosion shook the ship hard, rattling Rey's body as she lay and knocking the guards off their feet with a clatter of armor. She opened her eyes—

And saw Kylo Ren, crouched above her, protecting her with his own body, three long vibroblades protruding from where they'd slid through his back and exited his torso.

His face, inches from hers, was paling with blood loss, his blood gushing out onto her robes from his lips, his chest, his stomach.

"No," she said, horror dawning. "No. Ben. _No!_ "

"You were never in any danger," he whispered, trembling with effort, his forehead so close to hers. "I wanted you—to know that. I want you—to know—"

" _Ben!_ " she sobbed, tears mixing with the blood on her face.

"Kill them!" screamed Hux, gone purple again. Robbed of his victory, he staggered to stand as the deck tilted, crouched like a feral animal. " _Kill them both!"_

Rey grabbed the vial, and unable to think of anything else to do, smashed it against the floor. Oil spread out, oil and broken transparisteel, and Rey slapped her bare hands into the center of the pool and reached up, pressing them to Kylo's forehead, blood and oil mixed.

Sound. Light. Noise.

Darkness.

Silence.


	37. The Call

Rey was sitting in space.

Blackness stretched from as far as she could see to the other, up and down. She was sitting cross-legged, dressed in clean robes. For a moment she thought she was dead, but looking up, she realized that wasn't true.

Before her was the Jedi, the sandy-haired one with the kind smile and clipped accent. He looked the same as ever.

"Back so soon?" he inquired.

"Well, I suppose it's good to know I'm not dead." Rey folded her hands in her lap. "What happened?"

"You tell me," he said, raising an eyebrow. "You must have come for some purpose."

Right. Purpose. She needed an answer to an important question. "How do I stop someone from dying?" she asked.

He frowned, looking troubled. "The last Jedi to ask that of me became Darth Vader."

"I need to know," Rey pressed. "My friend—he's very weak, and he's been given something with forceblight in it. I tried to fix it by putting that oil on his head, the one that took me here before—but a stronger version of it. I don't know how to help him."

He stroked his beard with a finger. "Gatalentan forceblight? Hmm. The restorative powers of the oil you speak of were well known by the Jedi in my day, but kept hidden from most. It was thought that people might flock to the planet in an attempt to gain a connection with the Force. By administering the oil, you see. Which would—"

"Kill them," said Rey. "I know, I was told this."

"Well, all things considered, I don't think you can do a thing," he told her, sitting back. "He will be utterly submerged in the Force, and may lose who he is to its vastness. To avoid this, the subject must simply press on, find the will to live and use the Force to sustain himself. To float instead of drown. To accept instead of fight."

"There has to be _something_ I can do," she said.

"Sometimes, there isn't anything you can do," said the Jedi. "You've absorbed quite a bit of it yourself. I'd worry about that first if I were you, than about your friend."

"But I feel fine," she protested, and that was when the room flipped upside down and the Jedi disappeared, replaced by a vast, flowering forest, growing at an alarming rate, threatening to choke out all else. It encroached upon her, choked her, twined around her legs, her waist—

Rey pulled back instinctively from the sight, and the scene changed, a whirling vortex of color and sound, light and rushing noise. Fear rose in her throat.

_To float instead of drown. To accept instead of fight._

She opened her mind and accepted all of it, all of the riot, the noise, the color and wind. It was all the Force, its movement and energy, and the Force was all in her, and she realized this was happening only inside her head—but wasn't the Force outside her, too? Connecting everything?

A distant voice, somewhere very far away, said: 

 _I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me. And I fear nothing, for all is as the Force wills it._  

Rey opened her eyes.

She was floating six feet above the ground in the burning hangar, hands outstretched. Her mag-cuffs were gone, and the guards were winding up for an attack.

She felt no hesitation about killing them. They would pass into the Force. Death was not evil. All was as the Force willed it. One thought from her, and they all crumpled dead, blood dripping from inside their helmets as the Force ruptured every vein in their bodies at once.

Hux was cowering, still wielding his hypo. As if it could hurt her. "Don't come any closer!" he shrieked in terror.

Rey turned and looked down at him. Her right hand still dripped with blood and oil. Her left hand rose, and he was raised up by the Force, as gently as one might lift a feather. He squirmed, fear roiling off him like a stink.

She raised her right hand and looked at him. "You should have shown mercy," she said, and pressed her oil-coated thumb to his forehead.

Hux jerked, eyes wide. Rey set him back down, and he went pale, sweat breaking out on his forehead. He began to tremble and shake, his eyes rolling back into his head, and then he began to scream and scream, writhing in agony on the polished floor until his hands stopped scrabbling and his feet stopped kicking.

The last scream died in his throat, and finally the Supreme Leader of the First Order lay lifeless and limp on the shining black floor.

Slowly, Rey let her feet touch the ground. There was something else she had to do here, some task to complete, but it was hard to remember. The Force was flowing through her like a river, a live wire, rushing all her other thoughts from her head.

"Rey."

That was her name.

She turned, and saw a man, kneeling, hands pressed to his chest. There was blood flowing between his fingers, but she sensed he was breathing, the Force knitting punctured organs together just enough to stave off death for a few more minutes.

"I know you," she said. The river that was the Force began to slow, allowing her to think.

"I know you, too," he said, and she felt his pain, somewhat distant, pain from being—stabbed? A vibro-blade—ribs broken—

— _Ben—_

The river of the Force halted, and with a great shudder her mind became her own again. Rey stared at her hands, remembering, and wiped them clean on her tunic, stumbling over to him and collapsing, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Ben," she sobbed. He stank of filth and sweat, but she couldn't tear herself away.

"Don't get that stuff on me again," he said distantly, his swollen and battered face resting delicately atop her head. His hands remained where they were, pressed to his chest. The blood and oil still shone wetly on his forehead.

She pulled back and scrubbed at her hands again. "I'm sorry, it was so much—"

"I think," he said softly, and then he closed his eyes. "Hold on to me. Don’t let go."

She felt a massive surge, a shift in the Force, and in mere seconds, the deck beneath them was shearing apart, the roof above to match, and the great Class E engines deep below and behind were disintegrating. Rey reached out through the Force and with great pleasure tore apart what was left of the bridge, laughing through her tears.

The great shield guarding the hangar bay from the frozen vacuum of space sputtered, flickered, and died out as the power was lost. Kylo Ren didn't move, didn't even blink as every unsecured object in the hangar went rushing out with all the oxygen, and Rey sensed the barrier he had created around the pair of them, keeping in enough breathable air and pressure.

 _He would never be able to do this normally. He's still submerged within the heart of the Force,_ she realized, and held to him tightly as around them, the massive destroyer exploded and fell apart, screaming metal and fire and ruin, beautiful and terrible.

"We should go now," said Kylo, and with a push of the Force, they began to float out of the heart of the inferno, untouched by any of it. The fires began to starve out as the oxygen dissipated, and soon they were in a field of metal shards, sparkling in the light of Alderaan's sun. Far away, the engine lights of X-wings and other ships glowed, winked out, circled around the rest of the First Order fleet. The New Republic Resistance Army was there, fighting for them. It all seemed very far away and distant now.

"I could bring it all back," he said after a while, arm wrapped around her. "The whole planet. Alderaan. I feel it."

"Someone once told me to let the past die," Rey said gently. "Alderaan isn't meant to be again. That is the will of the Force."

"The will of the Force," he echoed, eyes still blank. Rey could sense the huge, roaring tide of power contained within him, threatening to consume him whole. He wasn't really there. He was somewhere far away from her.

"Ben," she said softly, and touched his battered face as gently as she could. "Come back to me." He didn't respond. She leaned forward, her hair floating around her face, and gently pressed her lips to his swollen and bruised ones, tasting blood and bile. "Come back," she whispered again, eyes filling with tears that didn't fall, but floated up, sparkling in the sunlight.

He seemed to stir after a moment, and looked at her. She sensed his recognition, and a split second after that, the effort it took for him to pull back, out of the vast river of the Force. "Oh," he said. "Rey—" He blinked, and grimaced. "It _hurts_."

Rey peered down at his chest. In the sunlight, she saw a dark stain of red, globules of weightless blood floating with them. "You're still bleeding."

"I was busy," he said, and groaned as she pressed her hand to it. "Rey."

Rey tapped her comlink frantically. "Chewie? Are you out there? We're floating outside, port side of the _Finalizer_ , can you find us? Ben's bleeding out."

Static Wookie yowls answered, and Rey saw, far off, a speck—the Falcon, streaking towards them.

"Hold it. I'll… hold it." Ren's lips were thick, numbed. His eyes were unfocused, his left arm still slung across her shoulders. All his strength was going into the barrier, protecting them both from the vacuum of space. More blood seeped from his body, surrounding them like floating rubies.

"Don't die," she said.

"No promises," he muttered, head dropping forward. "Rey?"

"What?" She looked up and saw his lips, alarmingly white, trying to move. One of her hands pressed to his side as she tried to grasp the Force, tried to knit together his ruptured organs and blood vessels, all a slippery ruin. It wasn't working—she knew there must be a way to fix this, but she had always been better at fixing machines, not _people—_

"I can feel the light," he said, and his honey-brown eyes drifted shut. "I can feel it now. Rey. It's—it's w—warm."

"Ben?" Rey patted at his chest, and her hands came away soaked in red. "Ben—"

"I'm okay," he whispered. "It's warm. Don't worry."

"They're coming—just hold on—" Rey felt tears start up again, hot and frantic. "Please, you have to hold on."

The Falcon's lights swept across them, the ship slipping under them, centering them over the top access hatch and rising to meet them. Rey clung to Ben with one hand and looked down. "Look. The Falcon is here. Ben. We're safe." She tried to smile through her tears.

"Dad?" he asked faintly, his lungs wheezing. "Dad's home?" His good eye opened for a moment, seeking something that wasn't Rey; something beyond her sight.

Their feet touched the hatch, which opened, and they sank down into the primary airlock. The hatch sealed, and the lights came on, the Force barrier gone.

Kylo slumped, deadweight, onto Rey's right side. She gritted her teeth and wrapped him tightly in her arms as they descended through hatch after hatch, and it was only as she reached the very last hatch and finally entered the hold of the ship that she realized that he wasn't breathing anymore.


	38. Organa

"General, can you verify this data?"

Poe Dameron turned on the bridge and tapped the pad handed to him after a cursory glance. "Thanks, Lieutenant," he told the young officer, and looked back at their course as the other man moved away.

 _Plot course straight back to Coruscant_. Those had been his orders, directly from the Minister of War.

Of course, they knew by now that the First Order fleet had been decimated, General Hux dead. He'd heard the whole story from Rey's frantic lips, by turns numb and chattering wildly, as they'd raced Kylo Ren's body to the medbay on the _Organa_.

And of course by now someone had probably put two and two together and realized they'd departed their mission on Kuat four hours ahead of schedule—logs were recorded and transmitted—and whatever politicians were, they weren't stupid. Plus, their hyperdrive had been damaged, and without it, it was going to be a hell of a long flight back.

Poe just hoped the mission had been worth the disciplinary action.

"Mr. General?" asked a little voice, and he looked down to see one of Rey's miniature charges—Dax? He couldn't remember the kid's name—little Twi'lek boy—tugging at his pants.

"What's up, buddy?" he asked, going down on one knee.

"I want my mom," he said, and sniffed.

Poe's heart about melted. The kid was probably all of seven, and scared of this big ship and loud noises, whatever it was kids were afraid of. Maybe he was six. Poe was bad at telling the ages of children of any species. "Hey, it's okay," he said, trying to be reassuring.

"No, it's not," said Dax. His little face crumpled. "She's _dead_." Big fat tears began to stream down his chubby blue cheeks. Several crew members glanced over in apprehension as he let out what was sure to be the beginning of several healthy wails.

Quickly, Poe scooped the kid up and carried him over to the nearest viewport, sitting with him on the window seat. "You know what?" he asked Dax. "My mom's dead too."

Dax stopped crying for a moment, eyes wide. "She is?"

"Uh-huh. She died when I was really little. Probably your age." Poe looked out at the stars. "Sometimes I think she's out here. Watching me fly. But not really her, you know. Like…herself. The thing that made her _her._ "

"In the Force," said Dax. "Is my mom in the Force watching me, too?"

"You're the Jedi learner, you tell me," said Poe, which at least got a grin out of the kid. "Why don’t you run and find Chewie and go get a snack?"

"Okay." The kid slid off the bench, legs kicking, and took off, leaving the bridge.

Poe quickly bent his head and wiped at his eyes, and when he turned around and faced his crew they were very dry indeed. "Back to your stations," he ordered. "Get that hyperdrive working. I want reports every thirty minutes from Miss Tico in engineering. And _where's my droid_?"

~

Kylo Ren became gradually conscious of firstly, a firm surface under his legs and back; secondly, something soft cradling his head; and thirdly, a _lot_ of pain.

He opened his eyes, a tremendous effort, and blinked up at the array of readouts hovering over his head that spelled out his blood pressure, oxygen levels, heartbeat. He grunted and turned his head from side to side, then realized he was lying on a medcenter table, a clear dome over his head projecting his stats to all who could read them.

Except he wasn't quite sure the child sitting at the left side of his bed _could_ read them.

"You're not dead," said the little boy—Tem?—and smiled. "I'll tell Master Rey."

Kylo tried to call out _wait!_ but his vocal cords felt dried and shriveled, and the boy had already scooted off his chair and headed for the door.

Force, he was thirsty. Kylo coughed. He'd never been this thirsty. He reached up and pushed the dome out of the way, then sat up with some pain and difficulty. There were fresh bacta patches on his chest and a new scar, covered in biotape, on his left side, and _that_ hurt. He was naked except for a white medical wrap around his hips, which shifted as he swung his legs out and tried to get his bearings.

"Hey, lie down," said a familiar voice, and he glanced up to see Rey, looking an exhausted mess. Her hair was a tangled disaster, there was still soot and blood stained on her cheeks marked through with tear tracks, and her robes were filthy and stained with blood as well.

He'd never seen anything or anyone more beautiful in his life.

"Rey," he croaked, and lurched up, trying to get to her, but held back by several cords and wires attached to his body.

Rey crossed the room and caught him as he stumbled, guiding him back down to the bed. "You've got some karking nerve," she said, her voice shaking. "Let's not go get, I don't know, an _escape pod_ , let's make a kriffing Force-bubble to be a showoff and forget to _fix your bloody_ _organs._ "

"I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I didn't realize we had a backup army. When did that even happen?"

"The day you were taken," she told him. "It's a long story. The Resistance is now the New Republic Resistance Army." She rubbed her eyes. "I've been awake for almost forty-two hours, so pardon if I get something wrong. The Order is routed and we're flushing out their supporters. The Senate is doing voting..." She grimaced. "Doing voting. They're voting on a law that will make it illegal to form military organizations that aren't affiliated with a planetary system. The NRRA is officially affiliated with whatever planet the Senate is based on, so right now, Coruscant. Um, what else… oh, right. You're _technically_ under arrest until we can get back to Coruscant—which won't be soon, because we sustained some damage to our hyperdrive—and explain everything that happened in detail, but everyone on this ship knows you're not going to murder them, so you're going to be allowed to move freely."

"Encouraging," he said. "You should get some sleep."

"Someone has to watch these damn kids," she said. "I'm—I guess I'm their Master now. Or something. None of them have any family."

Kylo coughed, a hacking, dry noise, and winced in pain as his side ached. "Oh, Force," he swore.

"Here." Rey stood up and filled a little disposable fiber cup at the wash station, then brought it over to him. "Drink up. You're dehydrated."

He gulped it down, his hands shaking around the fragile thing. "How bad were my injuries?" he rasped.

She sat down on the bed and recited, "Two broken ribs, a cracked femur, multiple contusions and lacerations. Broken nose—again. Split lip. Damage to internal organs from the three vibrospears you took in the back." She sighed. "Fortunately, the soft damage is mostly healed by now. They had to go in with a laserknitter to fix your ribs, which is why you're sore." She indicated his side, and the scar there. "You're also dehydrated, but you've been on a line for that for a few hours, so they'll probably take it off you soon."

"Did you memorize my chart?" he asked, half-joking.

Rey looked at him straight on, eyes piercing, and he realized she likely had. "You're lucky to be alive," she said roughly, and looked away, eyes brimming with sudden tears.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—" He reached out and touched her shoulder. "I—"

She turned to him and shook her head, gripping his shoulders. "You idiot," she sobbed, and hugged him tight, her face buried in his neck. "Don't ever do that again."

"Shh," he said, rocking her slightly. He could sense how exhausted she was. "You need to go to sleep. Chewie can watch the kids for a few hours."

"It's not just the _kids_ ," she cried. "I was so worried—you weren't gonna make it."

Kylo stroked her hair and buried his face in it, smelling smoke and sweat. "Shh," he crooned, pressing his lips to her head. "It's all okay now."

Rey shuddered and he felt some of the tension leave her body before she pulled away. "They're giving you the cabin next to mine," she told him, still sniffling. "Connecting doors. The code is TY564."

A white-gowned orderly, human in in her early fifties, stepped in the room. "Madame Jedi," she said, and bowed.

"I'll let you get to work," Rey told her, and squeezed Kylo's hand before standing. "Please make sure he eats something."

"You had best get some rest yourself, Madame Jedi." The orderly stepped over to Kylo and pressed a few buttons on her datapad. "I don't want to have to see you in here next over sleep deprivation."

"Yes, ma'am," Rey said, and ducked out.

Kylo turned to the orderly. "She said she hasn't slept in forty-something hours."

"No, she hasn't." The woman sighed. "She came straight here. Wouldn't leave your side, not through the surgery and not through the recovery. Barely ate. Wouldn't sleep."

He shut his eyes and swallowed back sudden tears. _You can't afford to lose the water,_ he told himself, but that wasn't quite working.

"She said you would have done the same for her, had she been in your place." The orderly adjusted a few lines. "Rest easy, young man. You're safe now."

"What—" Kylo cleared his throat. "What ship are we on?"

"You're in the medical bay of the _Organa_ ," said the orderly. "You were transferred here via shuttle after you became stable. Prior to that you were receiving the best trauma care available on our medical frigate, the _Redemption III._ "

He nodded, barely holding onto his composure at the mention of his mother's name. "I see. Thank you for your care."

"In about an hour I'll come back and change your bacta patches," she said, and checked his pulse before heading out the door with a nod.

As soon as the door had slid shut, Kylo Ren closed his eyes and began to cry.

~

Rey started the water in the privacy of her 'fresher, leaning against the door and looking around her cabin. She hadn't missed the fact that Poe had assigned her and Ren connecting rooms. It was a decent size, the white duraplast double bed attached securely to the floor. Two blankets were rolled neatly at the foot. She had a small wardrobe case, bolted to one wall, holding clean clothes ready for after she washed, and there were two lights bracketing the bed that could be adjusted from bright to dim.

She slipped off her boots, her legs aching like fire. Off came the obi, the belt, the blood-stained tunic, the under-tunic stinking of body odor and sweat. Off came the trousers and her underthings. Rey tossed them into the wall slot that would vacuum them down to laundry services, and leaned on the counter, head hanging between her shoulders.

There was still dried blood staining her hands. Ren's blood. Her fingers began to tremble slightly, and she heaved herself up and staggered into the shower, not bothering to untangle her matted hair.

Blood began to soften where it had dried, and the water ran red off her. Rey closed her eyes and shuddered, then grabbed the soap and cloth and began to frantically scrub at her whole body, at her arms, her fingers, at the blood caked brown under her carefully manicured nails.

How long ago had the spa visit been? Two days? It felt a lifetime ago, a pleasant story that had happened to someone else. Her breath caught in her throat, and she dropped the stained cloth, pressing her hands to the tiled interior wall and leaning into the spray, feeling the burn in her shoulders and arms as the water coursed over her body. The tiny cuts on her right hand where she had smashed the vial of oil stung in the soap.

 _Don't go to pieces,_ she told herself. _I'm one with the Force. The Force is with me. I'm one with the Force._

Her breathing slowed.

_The Force is with me._

Finally, the water ran clear.

_I am one with the Force._

She mustered up the strength to wash her hair and detangle it, then rinsed clean and turned the water off. After the blow-dry cycle warmed her up, she stepped out and went to the wardrobe canister, yanking out a short nightdress and dragging it on.

Staying awake long enough to yank the blanket over her seemed harder than anything she'd ever done, but she managed, and fell asleep at last.

~

It seemed like only seconds later when she woke, stirred out of a dead sleep at the sound of the adjoining door sliding open. "Hurngh?" she said, feeling horribly lethargic and disoriented.

"It's just me," said a familiar voice, and she could just make out Ren's silhouette against the light from his room, dressed in a loose sleep tunic and pants. "Shh. Go back to sleep."

"They released you?" Rey propped herself up on one elbow, dragging hair out of her mouth. "Already?"

"You've been asleep for twelve hours," he whispered, and sat on the edge of the bed, as if hesitant. "You definitely needed it."

Rey sat up. Her mouth tasted like old smelt. "Huh," she said, blinking.

"They did release me an hour ago, though." One of his hands moved on the bed, fingers drifting over the cushioning. "Is it okay if I—can I—"

She flopped back down and patted his side of the bed ineffectually. "Yeah," she mumbled. "Here. Come on."

Kylo crawled in, unrolling the other blanket and spreading it out over him, then lying down carefully on his back, grunting a little as he settled. "Oomph," he said, and winced.

Rey rolled in close, already half-asleep again, and tucked herself into the space between his right arm and his side. She listened for a moment or two to the sound of his steady, strong heartbeat, and lulled by it, fell asleep again.


	39. Recovery

Rey woke, slowly, then all at once.

She felt wonderfully relaxed and rested, and rolled onto her side, stretching.

Ben was asleep, inches from her face. His features were slack, peaceful in sleep and softly illuminated by the dimmed glowlamp. His dark hair was clean and soft—he'd obviously showered before coming to her room. Both his arms and one of his legs was sprawled out wide, nearly taking up the whole bed. The blanket tangled around his legs.

Rey reached down, and gently twitched open his nightshirt, exposing the biotape covering the scar where they had stitched his ribs back together. She hoped he didn't remember that. She remembered.

She remembered how she'd dragged him into the Falcon's cabin, screaming for Chewie, and how Chewie had lifted him and pushed him into the medical cubby, roaring and slamming one hairy fist down on his chest—forcing his heart to shock back into a restart, forcing blood back into his blue lips.

How she'd sat, holding the oxygen mask—smooth and slick under her blood-wet fingers—until they docked with the _Organa_. And then the mad dash to the medical bay, Ren on a gurneylift with four different medical officers running with him and shouting for everyone to _move, move out of the way_ , and how she and Poe had raced behind until she thought her heart might explode out of her chest.

How they'd had to hold him down as he screamed and screamed, finally going limp and unconscious from sheer shock as they'd incised his side and knit his bones back together.

Rey leaned down and kissed his skin, just above the biotape. She inched down and rolled close to him, one arm draped across his chest.

He stirred, shifting and pressing up against her. "Mmm," he rumbled, and sighed. "Hey."

"Hey," she said, and felt a familiar ridge between his legs, pressing into her thigh. "Oh. Um."

Ren made another low, soft noise and tucked his face down by her neck. "It happens during sleep," he rumbled, and she wriggled a little, tickled by his breath and by the scrape of stubble on his cheeks. "What time is it?"

Rey's hand reached up and found the back of his head, fingers twisting into his hair. "I don't know," she said, and he grunted, enjoying the sensation of her fingertips rubbing across his scalp, then pressed his lips to her neck softly.

Without really thinking about it, Rey lifted her right leg and hooked it over his hip. Warmth was beginning to gather deep in her belly, tingling like starlight. "Ben," she breathed, and he traced a path with his nose up to her cheek, then dipped back down, mouth open and hot against her throat.

"Yeah?" he murmured, tongue flickering out a little. He pulled his sleep-shirt off, pressing his warm chest to hers. Heat seeped through the thin material of her nightdress, and she closed her eyes.

"Please," Rey said, and tightened her grip on his waist.

"Ow," Ren rasped, and she let go quickly.

"I'm so sorry—"

"It's okay," he told her, and gingerly rolled to his back, one arm still curled around her. "I don't think—I'm sorry. That kind of physical exertion is out of the question for me right now."

"You're already sweating," Rey observed, and wiped the sheen from his forehead. "I can—" She flushed, remembering a long-ago conversation. "I can do things _for_ you."

"If you're on top," he said, confused, "that's still going to hurt."

"No, I mean," said Rey, face burning. The image she'd seen in Poe's mind popped to the forefront of hers, and Ren sensed it.

His reaction was startling. He spluttered, turned bright pink, and covered his groin with one hand, his face with the other. "Oh, Force," he gasped.

"I'm sorry!" Rey covered her own face, too embarrassed to think. "It was just an idea—"

"I mean—" Kylo was stammering, still the color of a beetroot. "No, I mean. I. It's a good idea."

"It's—" Rey stared at him. "It's a _good_ idea?"

"It—I—" Ren dragged his hand down his face. "It's. I. I just."

"Do you want me to try it?" Rey said, still confused.

"Yes," he said, far too quickly, and flushed even deeper. "I mean. If. If you're comfortable. I don't know—I've never—"

"Did your holobook tell you about it?" she teased lightly, one hand resting on his hip.

He snorted. "It might have mentioned it in passing."

Rey rolled her eyes and undid the tie on his sleep pants, then carefully pulled them down. Kylo lifted his hips so she could tug them down to his knees, and let his right hand rest gently over the scar, his wide fingers drumming nervously.

She eyed his dick, which was already leaking a little, extremely full and hard. He'd trimmed down most of his body hair at some point after their last private encounter. "You're going to have to tell me how."

"As long as you don't bite, I think you'll be all right." Kylo reached up with his other hand, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Your hair's longer."

"I had something done to it," she explained. "Is it—does it look okay?"

"It looks nice," he told her, hand still cupping her cheek. She turned and kissed his palm, then scooted down to hover over his groin.

 _Well, you've put your mouth weirder places,_ she told herself, and leaned down, letting her mouth trace the lines on his abdomen, then down to the soft place where his thigh met his body. 

Ren stiffened and jerked, a tiny noise escaping his lips. "Rey," he said weakly.

"Don't move," she said, lifting her head. Her tongue flickered up across the shaft. It didn't taste like much at all, just skin. Encouraged, she licked a flat stripe up to the tip, and gently ran the edge of her teeth across it, then moved so she was crouched between his legs.

" _Rey_ ," said Ren, and she looked up to see both hands shaking, clamped down on the blankets, the tendons in his arms standing out. "I— _please_ —you have to—" Rey used her right hand to guide him into her mouth, and the rest of his sentence was drowned in a choked-off, high pitched noise as he fought to keep himself from thrusting upward into her throat.

"Mmm," Rey hummed encouragingly, her other hand keeping his hips down on the bed. The last thing she needed was to get sick all over him. "Mmm?" She tapped his belly, and he reached down wildly, clasping the back of her head.

"I need. I—" He lifted her head a few inches and pushed her gently back down, then repeated the motion. She caught the rhythm and began to bob her head, trying to keep her teeth out of the way and to not choke on her tongue. " _Yes,_ Rey, like that, Force, don't stop—"

"Mmmm," she hummed again, pulling up, and he shuddered, his hands still buried in her hair.

She reached up with her right hand, the one that wasn't keeping him down, and let her fingers trace across his nipples. Kylo groaned and arched his back, his hands tightening. "Rey—"

She pinched him lightly with a chuckle and went back to moving, up and down and up and down as he groaned and twitched and gasped.

Finally, she sensed his thighs tensing, and one of his hands left her head and gripped her left hand, squeezing tightly. "Rey," he gasped, straining. "Rey—I think I'm gonna—"

Not to be deterred, she kept going, and gagged abruptly when a flood of salty-tasting fluid hit the back of her throat with no warning. Rey pulled off and coughed, saliva soaking half her face, then looked down to see Kylo, flushed down to his chest, frantically grabbing for his dick as spurts of pearly fluid oozed out of it and spread across his belly.

"Sorry," she managed, and coughed again. His fist moved up and down, sliding on a mixture of her spit and his own come, and finally relaxed, groaning as he sank into the bed.

Rey wiped her chin and took it in—Kylo, sprawled out and looked extraordinarily well-used, covered in his own fluids and panting heavily. All in all, a pleasant sight. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"No," he managed, and opened one eye, an angular slit of brown. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she told him, swinging her legs off the bed. "Gotta get a drink. Be right back."

After a quick drink of water in the 'fresher, she came back out with a disposable hygiene wipe and sat on the bed, carefully cleaning off his stomach and groin. "Thanks," he said, eyes still closed. "I should have gotten you finished first."

"Don't be silly," she said, flustered, and threw the wipe into the bin. "You're in no condition to—"

"I'm in great condition," he informed her, opening both eyes and smiling. "Come back here."

Rey sank back down on the bed, already feeling just a little warm with anticipation. "Don't you have a refractory period or something?" she said.

"Maybe." Kylo sat up and pulled her in for a kiss, his tongue delving in and tracing her bottom lip, his teeth nudging against her skin. "Maybe not." His mouth tracked over and down her neck, and she groaned and automatically reached for his crotch, but found nothing but soft flesh there. He cleared his throat. "Okay, leaning towards the maybe."

"That's okay," she said. "I know where the power switch is."

Kylo looked up at her, wide eyed, then narrowed them again. "Oh, you do," he said quite softly.

Rey grinned and pushed one side of his black hair back, exposing his ears, and leaned in, her teeth finding the lobe and worrying it slightly as she sucked.

The long, high-pitched noise that ripped out of him was extremely satisfactory. In her other hand, his dick began to fill again, hardening. " _Rey!_ "

She bit down and nibbled, moved to the other ear, and licked up that one too.

Kylo Ren gripped her nightdress and yanked it off, the thin fabric tearing. "Kark," he swore, and frantically grabbed at her, large hands cupping around her rear end as he yanked her in close.

"You're going to hurt yourself," she panted as he struggled to kiss her and touch her and get her positioned all at once.

"I don't care," he growled, his back up against the headboard. One of his hands hooked under her knee and pulled her in close, so that she straddled his lap, his dick trapped between their bodies, swollen and hot. "I don't _care_. Do you—is—"

"Yes, Ben," she whispered, and he shuddered, then lifted her up and set her back down, sinking into her hot, tight, wet—

She realized yet again that she was in his mind, this singular point of contact connecting them again in the Force. "Ben," she gasped, and he held her tight with one arm, head buried on her shoulder, thrusting from the bottom in sheer desperation.

Kylo could feel her too. The stretch and swell as he thrust, the nerve bundle on fire somewhere in front—all of it, he felt it all, and heard her thoughts as she clung to him—

— _please please he's going to hurt himself oh force oh I don’t care I don't I love I **love** I—_

"Rey," he choked, and she could see him too, see his thoughts, see—

"Ben?" she managed, and then she was climaxing, unexpectedly quick, and he was seeing her and feeling it all and then _he_ was coming again, the force of it hitting him like a turbocannon, so hard he almost blacked out from the mingled pain and pleasure.

When he revived a little, he had Rey in his arms, and she was half-awake, her hair spread across his chest.

"I think," she rasped, raising her head. He saw glittering tears in her eyes. "I think we should both take it a little easy for now."

"I agree," he said sleepily. His ribs ached dully. "You all right?"

"Mmm," she said, and he felt her relax minutely into his chest. "Let's not move for a while."

"Good idea," he said, and closed his eyes.


	40. Balance

Initial reports on the extent of the damage, as given every thirty minutes, indicated that it would take an estimated fourteen hours for Rose Tico and her band of engineers, plus BB-8, to repair the hyperdrive of the _Organa_.

Fourteen hours which, for Rey, first consisted of a half-hour block of training the kids in one of the hangars (mostly just meditation techniques, if she was being honest, but it kept them entertained and quiet) ended by eating on the mess deck with Poe and Kylo Ren.

The terms of Kylo's status on board were thus: He must remain accompanied by Rey at all times, except when he was in his cabin. It was pretty lenient for probation, he thought. They didn't even consider putting him in cuffs, let alone the brig.

Nobody seemed to know how exactly to address the former Supreme Leader. Rey watched as several people bumbled their way through greetings in the mess hall, not sure if they should call him Ben Solo or Kylo Ren or some other thing.

After the third awkward greeting, he turned to Poe and said, "Can everyone just call me Ren, please?"

"Sure," Poe said, surprised and pleased.

"I know—I know Ben is my name, but I'd prefer to not be called that by everyone in the galaxy just yet," he explained. "And Kylo is—he doesn't exist anymore, not really. Ren is a good halfway point."

"You got it, pal," Poe said, and put something into his datapad, sending a memo to the fleet.

(Nobody from then on out had any issues addressing Ren properly, especially not when C-3PO was wont to pop up helpfully and remind them of the correct protocol.)

"I've completely—where's Finn?" asked Rey, her fork paused halfway to her mouth.

"On the _Raddus II_. We gave him a temporary position as a, well, a relations liaison." Poe popped a piece of bread into his mouth and chewed. "He's in charge of talking with defected troopers, helping them figure out what they think they might want to do with their lives. Most just want to go home."

"They won't be tried as, you know—war criminals?"

"No," said Ben. "Most of Hux's men never saw combat, just trained for it constantly from birth. The real war criminals are the senators, the officers, the crime-lords on Nar Shadda—people who directly funded the Order and gave the orders. People who had no choice shouldn't be scapegoats." He swallowed a bite of bluish meat. "We might pull together a resettlement program for them on various planets, depending on whether or not the Senate likes the idea."

"I assume the crime lords and officers have all been arrested," Rey said.

"Most of them turned themselves in during the battle at the Graveyard after realizing Hux was dead."  Poe took another bite of food. "They'll probably get offered early release depending on their cooperation with the Senate, but they won't get off completely free."

"Good," said Ben, and looked at his plate. "I suppose I'll be put on trial, too."

Rey winced. "Yeah. Probably."

"Well, we can probably pull off some kind of plea deal," said Poe, breaking the awkward silence that followed. "Or parole. We just need a good lawyer."

"A _really_ good lawyer," said Rey.

"I'd rather just represent myself," said Ben darkly. "I don't want to stretch it out for years."

"Well, we can put that all back on the table when we get back to Coruscant." Poe finished his glass of blue milk and stood up. "I better get back to the bridge and check on the status of the hyperdrive."

"Well, I don't want to hold you up," Ben said to Rey as Poe walked away.

"From what, meditating with eleven kids?" Rey gulped down her water. "You want to sit in on Jedi Class?"

He shrugged. "I mean. I could. Might have a few tips and tricks."

"Well, you were actually trained by Luke, so come join the party." Rey stood up. "You'll probably be better at it than me."

Ben snorted. "I doubt that, but all right."

~

The training arena where Rey had been conducting their first lesson was still crowded with the children when Rey and Ben arrived. Most of them were eating, cross-legged on the floor balancing trays. Ara had explained to Rey that a few of them were still shy of people in uniforms and getting used to being on a Resistance cruiser, so a few orderlies had dropped off food for the kids at regular intervals, who had also taken to sleeping in the training room on the soft floor—snuggled, of course, in blankets provided by said orderlies.

"Hey, all," Rey greeted them as they looked up and smiled at her. "You all remember Ren?"

"Yes," said Tem, and waved. "Hi. Are you feeling a lot better?"

"Yeah," said Ben, and nodded at the kid. "I'm going to be helping Master Rey with your training a little bit."

"Are you going to be our Master too?" asked Ara.

"For today," he replied, and sat down on the floor. "Are you all finished eating?"

"Mostly." Ara picked up her tray and left it by the door. "I think there's two of us missing. Dax and Ziri."

"Probably hanging out with Chewie," said Rey. "Okay, let's all sit."

"I want to sit with Ren," said Ara, and sat down right next to him, back straight as a rod, exuding perfect ease with being in close proximity to the former Supreme Leader.

"Me too," said the little Zabrak girl—Mira, that was her name—and sat down on Ben's other side. He blinked in slight surprise, but acquiesced. Rey fought a smile.

"Okay. Sit where you want. Now, close your eyes and breathe. Clear your minds. Just like this morning."

Ben's signature in the Force was troubled, but quiet. Rey exhaled. "Let all your fear go. Feel it, and let it go."

She sensed the kids relaxing, and Ren along with them. Breathing slackened. Heartbeats slowed.

"Good," she said softly.

"Reach out and touch the Force," said Ben quietly, eyes closed. "Let it meet you. Don't be afraid."

The kids stirred a little, but did as he said, and Rey sensed their connections—deep, true, and pure. "Good," she said, and smiled. "Stay there. Let it flow through you."

Across from her, Ben sighed, and she felt him in the Force. Golden. A clearing sky after rain on a grassy meadow—not entirely at peace, but not in turmoil either.

 _Balance_.

~

"I have something for you," said Rey as Ben shut the door of their room behind them. "I forgot to give it back to you earlier because we were so busy—but—" Ben watched as she dug through her satchel and pulled out first a few loose Jedi text pages, then a half-broken transmitter, then three used ration wrappers. "It's here, hold on," she said, flustered as she came up with an empty transplast bottle and a sticky chunk of some unidentifiable substance, throwing both to the side and shoving her hand back in.

"Trash, my favorite, you shouldn't have," he teased, half his mouth turned up in a smile.

"Oh, shut up," she said, and rooted around with her right hand. "Ah, got it! Okay. Close your eyes."

Ben obeyed.

"Hold out your hand."

He did that too, and tensed when a cold bar of metal filled his palm. His thumb traced over exposed wiring, as familiar to him as his own hand. "Rey, is this—"

"Open your eyes," she said, and he gazed down at his saber. His _saber._ He turned it over in his hands, staring at it. She'd done a careful soldering job where a vibroblade had sheared off one of the vent shafts—removed both vent shafts, as a matter of fact, and patched up the broken and cracked parts on the hilt.

"The crystal," he said, not comprehending why the vents were gone.

"It's my understanding," she said slowly, "from, you know, the ancient texts—that once turned to the Dark, the kyber crystal within a saber becomes red and corrupted. And if that is reversed—I mean, the person is—I don't really—anyway, just turn it on."

Ben gave his saber a measured look and steadied himself, then thumbed the ignition switch.

A spear of light burst humming from the emitter. Not the crackling, unstable, flame-colored blade he had wielded as Kylo Ren; nor yet the bright blue of Rey's saber, deep as an ocean and clear as a sky.

No; this blade was the color of life. Bright, emerald green-yellow; clean and pure.

"Did you—you replaced the crystal?" Ben asked.

Rey was smiling, tears in her own eyes. "No. No, I never touched the crystal. It's _you._ You, Ben."

Finally understanding, he switched it off, hands trembling, and set it down in his lap as he sat on the bed. "Me," he echoed blankly, and shut his eyes, fighting hot tears.

She sat, the bed shifting, and tucked a lock of hair behind one of his ears. "It's going to be all right," she said gently. "We'll find a way."

"A way to what?" he asked, voice cracking.

"A way home," she replied, and kissed his cheek. "The Senate will understand that you were being used. They'll see—"

"But I wasn't," Ben said. "I—Rey, I made choices. I gave in. I did as I was told—"

"Snoke is dead," she said firmly. "You killed him on my behalf. That will mean _something_ to the Senate. You don't deserve to be—to be—"

"Punished? Executed?" Ben shook his head. "You're wrong."

"Don't say that." Her firm fingers closed on his wrist.

"It's true. You know—when I was lying there, all alone in the dark? The main thing I thought was that I deserved everything coming to me. Everything. Every kick, every blow, all that pain—I deserved it." He turned his face away, unable to bear her piercing stare.

"Consider that your payment, then," Rey said. "It's done. It's over. You paid the price. And now you'll go forward."

"Rey," he said, and pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "It doesn't work like that. Legally, I mean."

"I know _that_ , I don't mean legally, I mean—inside you, yourself." She poked him in the chest. "Here. No matter what the Senate decides, they can't take you away from yourself."

Ben reached up and clasped her fingers together gently, pressing her hand to his chest.  He was silent for a moment, head bowed. "What did you see in the heart of the Force?" he asked.

 _He saw something, too._ "I saw a Jedi. I thought he was a younger Luke, but he wasn't. I don't know who he was."

"I saw my mother," Ben said, voice as low and soft as morning fog. "She was clear as day, right in front of me. She looked like she did when I was little—young, and dressed in white and silver robes for a speech she was about to give somewhere." He smiled faintly. "She had her arms crossed and she said, 'Really?' as if I'd been caught with my hand in the sweets jar."

"Yeah?" Rey asked, not wanting to pry. She let her hand rest on his knee.

"And—" Ben's voice caught in his throat and choked off as he shut his eyes and looked away. "I'm sorry. I don't—"

"Some things are too personal. I understand." Rey squeezed his fingers with her other hand as he collected himself. "You don't have to tell me."

"Yes, well," he said, wiping at his eyes. "Sometime later."

The intercom crackled to life and Poe's voice rang out. "Attention, New Republic Resistance Army. All ships, prepare to launch to hyperspace. Set coordinates to Coruscant, I repeat, Coruscant."

"They fixed it!" Rey beamed, and kissed Ben on the cheek. "Want to go down to the bridge? I don't think you've met Rose yet; we should congratulate her and her team."

"Probably a good idea," he said without much enthusiasm. "Shame it's been repaired. I was looking forward to several more hours of freedom."

Rey snorted. "I know what you wanted several more hours of."

Ben's cheeks pinked and he looked at the floor. "You—you're ridiculous."

"Come _on,_ let's go," Rey insisted, grinning, and practically dragged him out the door and into the corridor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late update! I'm still adjusting to my new life out here and my parents came out this weekend to visit, which means no writing for at least four days since they're sleeping in my office. Please send sympathy in the form of ko-fi donations.
> 
> http://ko-fi.com/urulokid


	41. Return to Coruscant

As it turned out, they only had time for a quick hug and reunion before Rose, bleary-eyed and greasy, stumbled off to her quarters to get a good solid sleep. Too exhausted to even give Ren a second look, she'd mumbled out a half-put-together string of sentences before shuffling off with some of her equally as tired engineers.

"All right," said Poe as they streaked off, the constant blue and white blurs of stars outside the transparisteel viewports lighting his face in a cool glow. "We should be in their atmosphere in about an hour, and we can then make the descent down to the surface via shuttle. Commander D'Acy will be in charge while I'm gone."

"You're coming with us?" Rey asked.

"I have to answer for our detour," Poe explained. "They're not gonna be pleased. Or they might be. We'll see. Finn's coming too, to talk about the troopers he's worked with. The Senate's going to have to decide what to do with them."

"Hell of a way to start off the new army," she told him.

Beside her, Ren shifted his weight and said nothing at all.

~

As they came out of hyperspace and Coruscant's dull grey daylight side gleamed through the viewports, two uniformed officers walked up to Rey and Ren as they stood looking outside.

"Sorry about this," said one, and held out a pair of mag-lock cuffs.

Rey felt Ren stiffen and lurch away mentally, flashes of being restrained aboard the _Finalizer_ clear in his mind. "No," he said, through stiff, controlled lips.

"Protocol—"

"I'll handle him," Rey told them firmly.

"Ma'am—"

"Officers, stand down," said Poe from all the way over by the databanks. "Don't cuff him until you absolutely have to. Meaning when we're on the ground. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," they said in unison, looking a little flustered.

Rey felt Ren relax, but not entirely. "It's fine," she said softly as the guards moved away.  A flash of anger and embarrassment colored his signature in the Force for a brief moment, but faded as Poe cleared a shuttle in the launch bay for them.

"The kids?" Rey asked as they walked toward the hangar. "Should we bring them, or—"

"No, they can stay here. We'll look after them until the Senate comes to a decision on what should be done with them. They're legally our wards, anyway." Poe sighed as they entered the hangar and began to head to their shuttle, which was warmed up and already ready to go. "I hope they're happy, whatever happens. If you ask me, they've been through enough already."

"Agreed," said Ben.

Inside, the pilot was waiting in her seat along with their two escorts, the guards from earlier. "Welcome, General," she said, and flipped a few switches down. "Please take a seat and prepare for launch."

"Gladly," said Poe, and sat down in one of the passenger seats while Rey and Ben found seats by the viewports. "Oh, kriff. I should have changed." He lifted an arm. "And probably showered."

"Too late for that now," Rey said, and leaned back, closing her eyes as the landing ramp retracted and the door sealed shut. "Bet you a Senator will probably let you use theirs."

Finn climbed up and sat down by Poe. "Phew. You smell like a rancid bantha."

"Oh, like I had a chance to go to the spa in between blowing up Star Destroyers and trying to stay on top of the hyperdrive." Poe rolled his eyes. "Your girlfriend's getting a promotion, by the way. You can tell her when she wakes up."

Beside her, Ben's fingers grasped hers tightly. He made no movement otherwise, sitting perfectly still in his seat as they launched from the hangar and began to make the descent through the atmosphere of Coruscant.

Rey felt the eyes on her from the two guards, along with a healthy respect for Ben's reputation and a resulting hesitancy about restraining him once on the ground. From Ben she sensed nothing, but that wasn't surprising—he was adept at hiding his feelings from other Force-sensitives—but she didn't have to be a Jedi to know he was afraid.

She squeezed his hand reassuringly. _It's fine,_ she said through the Force.

He didn't respond except to gently run his thumb along her knuckles, warm and close.

They descended to the surface; past buildings and familiar skyscrapers that Rey almost couldn't believe she'd walked the halls of only a few days ago. It seemed so far away, a distant memory.  They came to a graceful halt on the landing pad outside the Senate building (the pilot was very good) and Rey turned away from the windows, already dreading the crowd she could see gathered at a distance under the great pillars.

"Sir?" One of the guards was still holding the magnetic cuffs and looking uneasily at Ben. "We have to—I mean—"

"I'll do it," said Rey, and grabbed the things out of his hand before turning to Ben. She pressed the lock and they sprang open. "Hands," she said softly as the two guards moved to the door. "I'll be here."

Ben's throat moved as he swallowed, the blood gone from his face; but he extended his wrists and let her clamp them down.

"Okay," said Poe, trying to tidy his hair. "Let's get this over with."

The doors slid open, letting in the sound of holocams clicking far away. Rey turned. "I'll go out first."

Ben stood between his two guards, looming over them both by half a foot. "Be careful," he advised.

Rey grabbed her jacket and nodded, then stepped out into the cold wind. She made it to the bottom of the ramp before a familiar figure in deep blue robes clasped her hand and smiled.

"Chancellor Valyeno," she said, shivering in spite of the jacket. The wind was cutting. "It's good to see you."

"And you, Madame Jedi," he said. "I must say, you've done quite a thing. Quite a thing."

Ren emerged from the shuttle between his two guards, the wind whipping his dark hair about his face. A hush fell on the crowd as they saw him. Rey's heart pounded hard as she turned to see. He was standing straight and tall, shoulders squared and jaw clenched as he descended and walked toward her on the duracrete, his borrowed clothing too small across the chest and too short everywhere else.

The Chancellor nodded at him without even looking at the cuffs. "Ben Solo." He looked at the guards. "Thank you. Take those off. You may go." They uncuffed him, turned, and walked back to the shuttle, leaving Ben standing in the cold wind beside Rey as people began to speak again and snap their holocams. "You likely have many questions about how you will be treated. Rest assured you will have every comfort, as we would treat a guest."

"A guest on trial," said Ren, lips pale as he rubbed his wrists.

"Yes, well. Innocent until proven guilty. But, in light of….Your hearing will be tomorrow. Ah, General Dameron." He smiled over Ben's shoulder at Poe and Finn. "Good, you're all here. Let us walk."

"Chancellor," said Poe, and they all began to move toward the shelter of the pillared hall.

"General. You have been summoned to the Minister of War's offices immediately," said the Chancellor, his tone quite a bit cooler as they moved out of range of the crowd. Both his aides typed and tapped on their datapads.

Poe's shoulders sagged a little. "Yes. I understand."

"Jary, would you please escort the General?" The Chancellor nodded, and the aide on the left steered Poe off and away. Finn hesitated, unsure of where he should go, but the Chancellor beckoned and he continued to walk, keeping stride with Rey.

"Finn, you will be testifying before the Senate with Madame Rey. The General has his own hearing to attend to, a court-martial. You may be called to testify there as well. We will certainly notify you in that case. You will be housed separately from Madame Rey to ensure honesty in both your testimonies, as is customary."

Finn opened his mouth to say something sharp, but caught Rey shaking her head at him, her lips pressed thin. "I understand," he said instead.

"Good." The Chancellor gestured to his other aide, and she tucked her datapad under her arm and began to walk with Finn. "Ros will show you to your lodging. Farewell."

Finn waved at Rey, looking slightly ashen. Rey could sense the uncertainty and fear on him.

"And Ben?" she asked pointedly. The bearer of that name still walked, mouth hard in a line and jaw clenched, as he followed the Chancellor beside her.

"Ah…yes." Valyeno looked slightly uncomfortable. "Protocol dictates that an accused war criminal be put into a comfortable cell and guarded for their own safety, as the public may… take umbrage."

"A cell?" said Rey, knowing even as the words passed her lips she was not going to win this. "He saved my _life_."

"I do not doubt it," said the Chancellor kindly. "But I must follow the law. Rest assured he will not be mistreated or provoked. We are not the First Order."

Beside Rey, Ben seemed to hear that, and relaxed minutely. "I understand," he said softly, the first words he'd spoken to the man. "Do with me what you see fit."

Chancellor Valyeno nodded. "Indeed. Officers?"

Two large, armored officers of the Senate appeared, their light gray capes just brushing their boot tops. "Sir," said one.

"Please take this young man into custody. You know where."

Rey fought to not grab Ben's hands, and instead watched mutely as he allowed himself to be led away by the officers. He didn't look back.

"And me?" she managed, looking away from Ben's vanishing back and to the Chancellor.

"You will be testifying in both the General's court-martial and young Solo's trial. I suggest a good night's sleep." He began to walk, and she followed. "You'll be quartered in one of the senatorial offices until both the trials are over. Senator Biss Tran of Gatalenta already offered the use of hers."

"That was kind of her," said Rey, hoping she would get a chance to see her ally.

They turned down a corridor, then another; then a flight of deep stairs and three more hallways leading them into a wing. Rey was beginning to remember why she disliked the Senate building so much when they finally arrived at a simple white door and the Chancellor tapped a code into the access pad, letting it slide open silently.

"Your room," he said, tucking his hands into his sleeves. "We will send for you when we need you."

Rey stepped inside and turned to face him. "May the Force be with us all," she said quietly, and Valyeno nodded just as the door slid shut and sealed her in.

 _Like a fire-bug in a jar_ , she thought. _Seal me in, put me on a piece of glass and pin me up for all to see_.

Rey shook the thought off and turned, examining her new, temporary home. She was standing in a cozy, warmly lit small office furnished with a smooth white desk, chair, a few lamps, and a Corellian rug on the floor. There was a sheet of flimsiplast sitting precisely in the center of the desk, and Rey crossed to read what was on it.

 _You'll find everything you need through the door to your right,_ it said in a neat, evenly lettered script. _Please make yourself at home. May the Force be with you._

Rey glanced over to her right and saw the closed door. It was unlocked, very slightly ajar, and she pushed it open and stepped into the adjoining room, which seemed to be a small sleeping area used for overnight office stays. There was a neatly made bed, a door she assumed led to a closet or a fresher, and a small kitchenette-style setup along the opposite wall, along with a table and a single chair.

Everything was modest, cozy, and well-made. It was nothing like the luxurious surroundings of 500 Republica, but it was much better than a prison cell. Rey opened the door and found it led to a small fresher to the left, containing a shower and a commode with a sink; and closet to the right, nothing more than a niche in the wall with a glimmering humidity shield across the space of the opening, but packed with clothing.

Rather wishing she had BU-T6 again, Rey stripped down and took a long, hot shower, then wrapped herself in a linen robe with long sleeves and headed to the kitchenette.  The cooling unit was stocked with containers of soup, breads, cheeses, meats, and various fruits and nuts and vegetables, along with a jug of blue milk and a container of deep green wine. Rey made a plate for herself and ate it sitting at the little table, wondering when they'd come for her. Probably not today. It would be far too quick for the bureaucracy of the Senate. They'd have to process everyone, get them on a schedule—

A knock at the front door startled her, and she gulped down the rest of her milk before securing her robe and heading up to open it. "Hello?" she asked.

A woman she had never seen before was standing at the door, dressed in a simple black cloak with sharply tailored edges that obscured her arms and carrying a large briefcase. Her hair was as black as her clothing, and cut precisely to her chin in an unbroken, glossy sheet. "Good afternoon, Madame Jedi," she said briskly. "May I come in?"

Rey stepped back in confusion and let her in. "I was eating. Sorry—who are you?"

The woman fixed her eyes on Rey. They were hazel, the sort of hazel that appears almost amber in certain light. Golden eyes. Cat eyes. "So sorry. Yes. I am Sorra Wall. I have been assigned to you, _pro bono,_ by the senatorial court."

"Assigned to me?"

Sorra Wall nodded. "Didn't they tell you? A citizen of the Galactic Republic is entitled to a lawyer when testifying. I'm your lawyer."

"My lawyer," echoed Rey. "I—am I being accused of something?"

"No, no. This is just protocol. I advise you on what to say and what not to say when you give your testimony to the Senate, so that you don't accidentally get yourself into trouble when you're being cross-examined by the prosecution." Sorra Wall placed her briefcase on the desk and popped it open, taking out a sheaf of flimsiplast and a datapad with a stylus. "You need to sign this agreement here, stating you accept me as your legal counsel, and then we can begin."

Rey took the stylus and stared at the screen, a feeling of heavy dread settling in her belly. She knew about lawyers, vaguely. They were expensive, time-consuming, and had about as good of a chance at being helpful as they did being unhelpful…but it would be nice to have someone in her corner helping her navigate the vastly confusing maze of protocol that was sure to make up most of the trial.

She pressed the stylus to the on-screen keyboard and tapped out— _REY._

Sorra Wall took it back and regarded it. "Excellent." She took off her cloak, revealing a black-and-white ensemble beneath in severely professional lines, swept away the contract with a finger, and poised her hands above the keys. "Now. Please tell me everything about what happened, starting with the day you came to Coruscant."

Rey took a deep breath. It was going to be a long, long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN YOU GUYS I PROMISE <3


	42. Court-Martial

Dawn was just breaking over the skyscrapers before Sorra Wall departed the office. Rey slumped back in her chair, exhausted, as the door hissed shut.

She felt bone tired, but she was armed with a brand new knowledge of how trials worked, including a good amount of legal terminology. Most importantly, Sorra had given her a schedule, and her testimony on behalf of Poe was going to be called tomorrow afternoon.

Well, technically she'd be called for today. Rey groaned and stretched in her seat. Having the next week all set down firmly where she could see it helped ground her a little. She wasn't floating in limbo, waiting to be fetched—she knew what was coming next.

She went back to the fresher and showered again, then set the security to wake her in six hours before tumbling into bed and yanking the blanket up around her ears.

It only seemed a few minutes before the gentle chirp of the alarm woke her again, and she squinted at the afternoon sunlight pouring in through the little window on the back wall. _Time to get dressed,_ she remembered, and rolled out of bed.

Her hair was a tousled mess, but a few quick strokes with the comb in the bathroom tamed it before she pulled it back into her familiar triple bun style. A quick breakfast of hot soup, a few pieces of cold cheese and meat, and a sip or two of green wine—and she was ready to face the oncoming day.

First, though, she had to face the closet.

It was crammed mostly with white and gray robes and dresses in simple, elegant lines, with a few red cloaks in varying shades of crimson, blood-red, and vermilion. Rey tried a few of the dresses on—they fit her well enough. She considered the red cloaks, but wondered if that was a bit too Gatalentan. It seemed to be a cultural thing, and she didn't want to walk in the Senate in full regalia from a planet that she wasn't from.

Rey decided on a long, loose, flowing white gown with draped oversleeves and a snug, warm white underdress with tight, long sleeves. Over that went a gray robe, draped across one shoulder and belted at the waist with a wide swath of a crinkled, iridescent silvery fabric. She found a pair of white ankle boots in the closet that didn't pinch too badly, and after a final look in the mirror, added a thin silver headband that crossed her brow and tucked into her hair.

Right on schedule, there was a knock at the door. Rey squared her shoulders and headed into the office just as the door opened and revealed Sorra Wall again, accompanied by an aide.

"Madame Jedi," she said. "Ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," said Rey, and walked out, letting the door hiss shut behind her.

~

The Senate chamber was packed. Rey's mouth felt very dry as she tailed her attorney and the aide into a pod and sat down. Both her hands were sweaty. She tucked them under her sash, trying to wipe them off without anyone noticing.

Sorra Wall sat down beside her, looking very elegant and crisp in her black-and-white suit with an off-one-shoulder black cloak. "All right. Remember what we spoke about?"

"Yes," said Rey, not paying much attention and instead looking for Poe and Finn in the chamber.

"Rey. Eyes here." Sorra tapped the flimsiplast she was holding and handed it to her. "Don't let anyone lead you into a statement. I'll object if anything starts going sideways. Just give your statement and answer questions."

 _But not if it's a leading question,_ thought Rey, slightly panicked. They'd practiced late into the night, and she'd felt all right about the trial, but the prosecuting attorney—a middle-aged human male with cropped gray hair and a serious face—looked very severe and she felt about four years old again, her tongue in knots.

"All right. I'm going to go over and sit with General Dameron. You stay put. Good luck." Sorra offered a quick, sharp little smile and left the pod, leaving Rey with the aide whose name she had forgotten already—a rather good-looking, fine-featured young man with an air of unconcerned professionalism about him.

"All rise for the Honorable Jeeré Yoon," called an officer of the court, and in strode the last person Rey expected to see on the judge's bench—a very serious-looking teenage girl, her reddish-brown hair pulled back into a mass of curls at the back of her head with a golden plate carved like a crescent, wearing deep purple robes of state belted with a blue velvet sash and adorned with golden brooches at shoulder and throat.

"How old is she?" hissed Rey out of the corner of her mouth as they stood and waited for the judge to be seated.

"It's a military tribunal. Naboo has the best politicians and judiciaries. She was hand-picked by the Minister of War." The aide looked unconcerned. "She just turned sixteen."

"Be seated," said the officer, and everyone sat, the chamber filled with dim rustling of thousands of robes and gowns. 

Jeeré sat and settled herself into the enormous chair and desk at the center of the room. "Thank you," she said, in a low, measured accent that Rey was almost sure she was affecting. "Will the prosecution please state their name for the record?"

The prosecuting attorney rose to his feet, projected by the tiny holocam onto the screens so all could see. "Peydr Jadelli, for the prosecution, Your Honor."

"Thank you. And the defense, please do the same."

Sorra stood, from somewhere along the opposite side of Peydr's station. "Sorra Wall, Your Honor. For the defense."

"Will the accused please stand and state their name?"

Rey finally saw Poe, still in his grubby uniform and looking a bit worse for wear, manacled and standing by Sorra. He must have been waiting back in the hall. "General Poe Dameron, Your Honor."

A soft buzz of speech echoed in the chamber. The judge raised a hand. "Order in the court, please. Will the tribunal rise and present themselves?"

Rey watched the screens as the panel was introduced. First, there was a centrist Senator, Mannis Kain; secondly, Lieutenant Tyrral Narweld, who Rey vaguely recognized as being one of the newer recruits to the New Republic Resistance Army; and thirdly, Commander Larma D'Acy.

"Commander D'Acy?" Rey asked the aide. "I thought—"

"They all have to agree on the verdict," he explained. "Putting a mixture of people with opposing views on the jury demands a compromise. I'm Jaek Starfall, by the way. Forgot we hadn't been introduced."

"That's nice," said Rey distantly, her eyes still fixed on D'Acy's wide-set, large eyes and nervous face. She hadn't spoken to the commander much at all on Naboo, or really at all—she'd preferred to spend more time with Kaydel and the other younger officers. Now she wished she had bothered.

"Our first order of business," Jeeré Yoon said, "is to state the accusations, and the facts." She straightened in her seat, her hands gently placed on the armrests. "General Poe Dameron disobeyed a direct order of business—indeed, his first military order as General of the New Republic Resistance Army—and commanded his fleet to the Alderaan Graveyard instead of returning to Coruscant as he had been ordered. While at the Graveyard, several of the Army's ships sustained damage. The First Order was utterly destroyed, and the officers and soldiers who were not killed were were taken captive. Due to the damage on the _Organa_ , they were unable to jump to hyperspace. The engineering crew worked hour after hour to repair it, and once it was repaired they returned to Coruscant." She looked over at Poe. "General Dameron stands accused on charges of insubordination, two counts, and treason, one count. He is presumed innocent by the law of the Galactic Republic, until proven guilty. This burden rests upon the prosecution, who I now call forward. Present your argument."

Rey blanked out rather than listen to Peydr Jadelli blather on about how Poe was a traitor to democracy and peace for not instantly going back to Coruscant—she knew it would only make her angry. Instead she went over the notes on the flimsiplast and tried to mentally practice how she would answer every question perfectly.

Sooner than she expected, Jadelli was done with his argument, and Judge Yoon was calling Sorra Wall up to say _her_ piece about Poe. Rey did listen to this one.

"Honorable members of the Galactic Senate," said Sorra, "we are in possession of the facts of this case. We know that the General disobeyed an order from the War Ministry. However, what we are here to find is whether or not he is guilty of a crime, and I believe he is not. Insubordination requires a being to disobey orders that are lawful and reasonable, Your Honor. The Minister of War ordered General Dameron to go to Kuat for a relief mission, and he obeyed that order to its fullest extent. He detoured on the way back to Coruscant, but he did not disobey an order—he still obeyed it. Did he put the lives under his command in danger? Yes, but when are beings in an active military operation _not_ in danger? More lives will be saved than lost due to his quick thinking and decisive movements. The First Order has been dismantled at hardly any loss of life to the Army, thanks to the surprise attack on the fleet. In one stroke, Dameron's actions have secured democracy and safety for the galaxy. It was an unreasonable order for him to return instantly without any action. He is guilty of no crime."

"Hear, hear," called someone from Rey's left. The judge raised her hand for silence.

"Thank you, Miss Wall. We shall now call for the witness statements."

Peydr got to his feet again. "I call FN-2187, known also as Finn, to the stand."

The crowd murmured a little and Rey watched avidly as Finn was brought out by an aide to stand in his pod several dozen meters away. He looked well, dressed in a tailored cloak and suit, with a serious look on his face. She wondered if he'd gotten a coaching session from Sorra as well.

"Do you swear before this court to tell the truth as far as you know it?" asked Jeeré.

"I swear," said Finn.

"Mr. Jadelli, you may commence," said Jeeré.

"You are FN-2187?" asked Peydr.

"Call me Finn," said Finn. "Yes."

"Finn, then," said Peydr. "You accompanied General Dameron on this mission to Kuat, correct?"

"Yes," said Finn.

"And you were present when he made the decision to detour on his way back from Kuat?"

"I was," said Finn.

"Will you please inform the jury and the court as to the events of that decision?"

Finn raised his chin a little. "We were on the way back from Kuat. We'd just left the atmosphere, and we received a distress call." Rey leaned forward. She hadn't actually thought about how Poe had found them, out there in the middle of the Graveyard. "It was from Chewbacca, the Wookie. He was in the Graveyard and told us that—" She thought Finn's eyes darted toward her, but she couldn't be sure— "—that he needed backup and that the entire First Order was at the Graveyard."

"Did he mention why?" asked Peydr.

Rey looked up at the screen. Finn looked as if he thought the attorney was trying to trap him, somewhere under the veneer of his composed face. "I didn't hear the whole conversation," he said evenly. "But whatever he told the General was obviously important enough to reroute our trip back, so I didn't ask."

"You didn't ask." Jadelli looked skeptical.

"No. It's not my job to question decisions from the General." Finn's face was carefully blank, steady and calm.

"You're not an enlisted man, or a commissioned officer. You left the First Order because you realized you wanted to think for yourself, and you expect this court to take that at face value; that you didn't ask why we were being rerouted to the Graveyard?"

"Yes," said Finn stoically.

This line of questioning continued for a few more minutes until Peydr Jadelli finally gave up and said he had no further questions for the witness. Finn's method of shutting down questions completely was effective in getting the attorney off his back, but from the murmurs and faces around Rey, she could see it had done more harm than good in the public opinion. Everyone on the tribunal but D'Acy had narrowed eyes and they were both tapping notes into their datapads. D'Acy was merely looking straight ahead, lips pressed into a thin line.

"The defense will now question the witness," said Jeeré.

Sorra stood up, and smiled at Finn, who nodded at her in acknowledgement. "I think it goes without saying that even if you had asked General Dameron why you were rerouting your trip home, you wouldn't have been able to stop him," she said. "Yes?"

"Yes," said Finn. Poe looked a bit uncomfortable behind Sorra in the pod.

"He's headstrong and acts on what he knows to be morally correct, if not correct by law or rule." Sorra gestured toward Poe. "You've borne witness to that quality of his character as well, haven't you?"

"I have," said Finn. "He broke several rules in assisting my escape from the First Order."

"You'd say that his actions are ethical, but not precisely within the bounds of orders."

"Objection," snapped Peydr Jadelli. "She's putting words in his mouth."

"Objection overruled," said Jeeré calmly. "She is examining a witness. Please continue, Ms. Wall."

"Yes," said Finn. "I would say that his actions are ethical, but not always legal. He's a hell of a pilot, but not…" He stumbled over his words. "I mean. Qualities that help with one job won't always work for another."

"Indeed," said Sorra Wall. "So you went to the Graveyard. Please tell us about that."

"We arrived and pulled out of lightspeed, and saw the First Order fleet," Finn said. "I was sent over to the _Raddus II_ as the battle progressed and troopers started surrendering. They wanted me to work as a sort of liaison, to help defected troopers figure out their lives. Anyway. The battle. They had no idea we were coming. I think Poe—General Dameron—led an initial flyover of a couple of ships. They weren't really on their guard, and didn't see us coming. I'm not sure who fired first, but we had the upper hand, so we won."

"Thank you, Finn. No further questions." Sorra went back to her seat by Poe and Finn was escorted out of his pod by the aide with him.

"Does the defense have another witness?" Jeeré tilted her head at Sorra.

"I do. I would like to call Rey of Jakku to the stand, please."

Every head turned and a soft murmur swelled as Rey stood, her palms sweaty, and centered herself at the little desk area.

Jeeré addressed Rey. "Please identify yourself for the court."

Rey swallowed. "I'm—I am Rey of Jakku, Jedi apprentice of the late Luke Skywalker."

"Thank you, Madame Jedi. Do you swear before this court to tell the truth as far as you know it?"

"Yes."

 Jeeré looked at Sorra. "You may proceed."

Sorra stood again, a new sheaf of flimsiplast sheets in her hand. "Rey," she said, and looked down at her sheets. "You were on the _Organa_ when it landed here, but you were not on the _Organa_ or any other ships when they left Coruscant. Is that correct?"

Good. This was what they'd gone over in the apartment. "Yes, that is correct," Rey said.

"Objection!" called Peydr Jadelli, and heads turned. "This girl was being coached by Sorra Wall last night in her quarters, in a Senatorial office. I have security footage proving it, and I would like to enter it into evidence and call for a mistrial—"

"I am allowed to consult with my clients—" Sorra began.

"Order!" Jeeré Yoon stood, and everyone in the chamber quieted. "Sorra Wall is representing Madame Rey as well as General Dameron. Since Madame Rey has been called as a witness in the tribunal by her own attorney, this conflicts with the laws of a civilian court, but not a Galactic military tribunal."

"I call for a compromise," said Peydr. "I will question the witness. Sorra will not."

Jeeré looked up at the panel of three, who all nodded. "Compromise accepted," she said, and sat back in her seat. "You may proceed."

Rey's stomach felt cold. She wasn't prepared for this. Not at all.

Peydr turned and addressed her again. "Madame Rey. You admit you were not on the _Organa_ when it left Coruscant, but returned on it?"

"That's right," said Rey, feeling lightheaded. _Maybe if I faint they'll have to call him off,_ she thought, and then realized that without her testimony the outcome of the trial might be very bad indeed, and felt slightly chastened.

"Where did the _Organa_ pick you up?"

Rey let her hands rest on the platform. "The Graveyard—Alderaan."

"The Graveyard. And how did you get there?"

"I—Chewbacca the Wookie took me. I mean—we took the Millennium Falcon together, but he did most of the piloting." Rey's face was hot.

"I see. And why did you go to the Graveyard?" Peydr Jadelli's eyes were narrow. "It's not exactly a vacation spot."

"I—" Rey remembered her terror, her fear for the children. "The children. The children being held by the First Order. They had—they were being experimented on. They were in pain, and afraid."

"Yes, we know all about that," Jadelli said. "We have the record of your last appearance in the Senate. But how did you know that the First Order was at the Graveyard?"

"The Force showed me," said Rey, and then felt like an absolute idiot as murmuring and some quiet chuckles filled the room.

"The Force showed you," said Peydr Jadelli, very patronizingly. "You had some sort of vision?"

"No," said Rey.

"Some magical revelation?"

"If you don't believe me," said Rey, who was getting very angry indeed, "I will be more than happy to demonstrate exactly what the Force can do, and I will demonstrate it on _you._ "

"And now she's threatening me," said Peydr, whipping his head around at Jeeré. "Your Honor, this woman is clearly unstable. Motion to remove her from consideration as a witness."

"What?" Rey said, incensed.

Jeeré leaned forward, her face a blank wall of calm—but Rey felt the irritation at Jadelli underneath the veneer. "Motion denied. You will respect the witness's personal beliefs, and you will not goad her. This is a court of law, not a university debate hall. Continue."

The faintest hint of a scowl crossed Peydr's face as he turned back to Rey. "So…the Force showed you where the children were," he said. "Then what happened?"

"I told Chewie where to go and we went…there. To the Graveyard." Rey's tongue felt awkward, too big in her mouth. "So when we got there, the Fist Order fleet was there too. We got into the _Finalizer_ through a garbage hatch and I went up alone to find the kids." She didn't know whether or not it would be prudent to mention Kylo Ren at this point. "They were in the lab on board. I went up and found them, broke them out, and—" She hesitated.

"And?" prompted Peydr Jadelli.

"And…we were going to go back to the garbage hatch, where Chewie was waiting, but—a lot happened. I don't—we went to the hangar, the main hangar. The entire ship was empty and we didn't know where anyone was, but I'd overheard some troopers talking about an execution in the hangar."

"Wait," said Peydr. "You went to the hangar, where every single person on the ship was congregated, instead of going through empty corridors back to safety? With children in tow?"

"We did. The children wanted to help the person being executed." Rey's lips couldn't stop trembling. She felt like she'd been holding this facial expression for ages.

"You let a pack of _kids_ decide your movements?" Peydr scoffed.

"If you'd met these kids you'd let them decide what they wanted to do, too," Rey said, and a few people chuckled. She relaxed a little.

"Who was being executed?" asked Peydr.

Well, no way to avoid that. "Ky—Ben Solo," she said, and that caused another stir in the crowd.

"Let me get this clear for the jury," said Peydr. "You and this…group of children decided to go rescue Kylo Ren from his own execution at the hands of the First Order?"

"That's correct," said Rey. "Once we reached the hangar, there was a skirmish. Chewbacca flew into the hangar and got the kids, but—" her voice caught slightly, to her chagrin—"but Ren and I were left inside."

"How did you escape?"

"I killed General Hux. Ren barely came out alive. The New Republic Resistance Army was outside fighting, and it was a shock. The Falcon picked us up, we were moved to the _Organa_ , and we remained there for the duration of the trip back here." Better not to talk about the oil, she thought. Better to save that for Ben's trial.

"You did not contact General Dameron and ask for assistance?"

"No. I told him I was leaving and asked him for help when I left Coruscant, but he refused. He threatened to submit me to disciplinary action." Poe half-smiled across the arena, and even Jeeré's mouth twitched. "I didn't even know that Chewbacca sent a message to General Dameron until just now."

"Where is the Wookie?" asked Peydr, looking at Sorra. "He was supposed to be called as a witness."

"We couldn't locate a non-partisan translator. He's been taken off the docket." Sorra looked calm as ever.

"Fine." Peydr turned back to Rey. "So this Wookie called and told Dameron to—"

"Objection," Sorra said loudly. "Leading question by the prosecution."

Jeeré raised a hand. "Objection overruled. Mr. Jadelli has the floor. Proceed."

"I can't tell you what Chewbacca may or may not have said to Poe," Rey interrupted as Peydr tried to finish his sentence. "I wasn't there. I didn't know anything about it. The only people who know what that conversation was about are Chewbacca and Poe. Not me. Not Finn, even. All I know is that Poe did not want to help me at all when I left, and when he did come, it was a total shock to me. I didn't expect it in the slightest."

Peydr closed his mouth and looked down at his notes. "No further questions, Your Honor."

Rey sat down, her knees feeling weak, and Jaek Starfall escorted her out and into the hall.

"You look like you might pass out," he said, and began fanning her generously with a sheaf of flimsis.

"Kark me," she moaned, and sat down on a bench. "I did awful."

"No, you did fine," he reassured her. "Look, here comes your friend."

She looked up to see Finn rushing towards her and before she knew what was happening she was being crushed in a massive hug. "Oh, it's so good to see a friendly face," he said into her hair. "Thank the Force."

"I hope we helped his case," she said as he let her go. "I feel like I made an idiot out of myself."

"You and me both. The outcome won't be decided for a while. They have to deliberate. You want to go for a walk and find something to eat?"

Rey closed her eyes and sighed. It felt like a weight was waiting to fall on her shoulders, somewhere unseen, but the sensation faded at the thought of a nice walk and some food. "Yes. Please. I would like that very much."

Arm in arm and shadowed by the ever-present Jaek, they headed out into the cool sunlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is almost twice as long and took me ages because LEGAL MATTERS AND RESEARCH. I'm SORRY. Enjoy! I'm sure I fudged up some procedures or something. Next chapter will be up as soon as I can churn it out. I recently injured myself fairly badly after attempting to go for a run in some very dry hot weather (pulled my right quad so badly that a month later it's apparently chronic) so I'll be hopefully spending my free time writing. If you'd care to show your love, my ko-fi is [ https://ko-fi.com/urulokid ]. Thank you!!


	43. The Trial of Ben Solo

After finding a quick-service meal of warm, flaky pastry rolls stuffed with chopped purple and orange vegetables and meat and hot caf with cream and sugar, Finn and Rey sat down on the long marble wall of an outside, courtyard fountain to eat.

Rey didn't care for the interior of the Senate, but this was pretty, and peaceful. It was clearly designed as a place to unwind between sessions. The fountain consisted of a long, shallow pool of water with a single rippling spout in the middle, where the water splashed over a wide bowl and gurgled into the pool, glittering in the sunlight.

"So, what's on the rest of your schedule?" Finn swallowed a bite of his pastry and glanced over at her.

Rey pulled her slightly crumpled flimsi out of her pocket and peered at it. "Looks like I'm free for the rest of today, but I have to go testify when Ben goes on trial tomorrow morning."

"Ah, great," said Finn. "I'm waiting for someone to figure out what's going to happen to the defected troopers."

"I hope they're pardoned," said Rey, feeling a bit torn. It was impossible to look at any of the young men on the _Raddus_ and not see Finn in them. "Or at least, you know. Not treated like criminals." She took another bite of pastry and chewed slowly.

"Me too," said Finn. "I hear they got a pretty good lawyer for Ren, but he waived his right to one."

Rey almost choked. "What? Really? He said something like that on the _Organa_ but I didn't think he'd actually do it. What is he _thinking_?"

Finn shrugged. "I mean, I don't blame him. After that questioning by Jadelli, I wouldn't want to put myself through that kind of thing either. It's why they moved his trial up so soon. I guess the prosecution's just going to go over all the facts, question you as the main witness, and let the jury decide."

"Who's the prosecution?" Rey nibbled at her pastry. She'd been ravenous a moment ago, but now felt like she'd lost all her appetite.

"Oh, this woman named Maris Orden. Sorra says she's an amazing trial attorney. She's done a bunch of cases involving the First Order. I think she won a family six million credits for the loss of their son—he was on Hosnian Prime and they sued…someone? I don't know who. Oh, yeah, some company who manufactured a bunch of the parts that were used on Starkiller Base—Syren Inc.?" Finn sipped his caf. "She did a couple of cases like that. Won most of them. Public opinion really helped her on the jury—I think the only case she lost turned out to be a mistrial because Syren planted jurors—they're still stuck in the litigation."

"You and Sorra must have had plenty of time to chat," said Rey. "I got coached on everything for six hours."

"Yeah, well." Finn looked uncomfortable. "She didn't want you to fly off the handle and pop someone's neck with the Force, or something. She wanted to make sure you had everything down pat."

"Hmph," muttered Rey, and looked down at her food. "I mean. I guess she had a point."

"Well, we better get back to our rooms and wait for day two," Finn said, standing up and crumpling the wax wrappers for the pastries. "C'mon. I'll walk you back."

"That won't be necessary," said a smooth voice near Rey's elbow. She jerked and turned, nearly smacking Jaek Starfall in the face.

"What are you—were you watching us the entire time?"

"Yup. My job." Jaek pressed a switch on his wrist-chrono. "Finn, your aide will be arriving shortly to escort you back." He smiled at Finn, who blinked and scowled.

"You have feet like a runt-rat," he told Jaek. "You're lucky Rey didn't punch you in the eyes or something."

"Being quiet and unseen when necessary is part of my job, so thank you," Jaek said. "If you'd like, I can escort you back to your room, and Melia can escort Rey." He winked smartly at Finn, who just blinked at him. "No?"

"Finn isn't single, sorry," said Rey.

"Ah, more's the pity. Lucky…?"

"Girl," said Finn firmly. "A very smart, beautiful girl who's an engineer and—and who invented a way to fix our hyperdrive and get us back to Coruscant."

"Well, if she ever invents a cure for closed relationships, let me know," said Jaek, and slipped his arm through Rey's. "I see Melia coming. You enjoy the rest of your day. Come along, Rey."

Rey snorted as soon as they were out of sight. "You ought to be nicer to poor Finn," she said as they walked back into the cool shade of the arches and pillars.

"I _was_ being nice," protested Jaek. "He's cute. I hope I didn't scare him. _You_ caught on fast enough."

" _I_ can use the Force," she reminded him.

"Well, as long as you don't read down into my deepest, darkest secrets, we'll both get on fine." Jaek rounded the corner and there they were, right in front of Biss Tran's office door. "Your quarters await. I'll report back to the Chancellor and tell him you've been put away safe and sound."

"Ah, yes. Like a doll." Rey stuck her tongue out at him and stepped in after he opened the door for her. "See you in the morning."

"Big day tomorrow. Study hard, sleep well." Jaek mock-saluted her and shut the door, leaving her in dim quiet.

~

The soft, insistent beep of the alarm woke Rey out of a dead sleep. She'd been having a dream, a really good one, where she lived in a fine little house in the Jakku desert and had a garden with trees, and her parents had lived there with her. Her mother's face seemed to swim just past the edge of memory, lost to the blurry veils of time.

Rey groaned and sat up. A stupid dream, she told herself. You couldn't grow a garden on Jakku, there wasn't enough water.

She hauled herself out of bed and headed for the fresher, wiping the sleep out of her eyes. A cold shower later, she was awake and ready to face the day. She still had two hours before Jaek was supposed to fetch her for Ben's trial, so she plated up some cheese, toasted some bread, and poured herself some caf for breakfast.

Back in the closet, she pored through the robes and gowns, the tiniest knot of anxiety beginning to lodge in her throat. There hadn't been any word yet as to the fate of Poe, and even though it had only been a day, she hoped they decided on a ruling soon.

Rey pulled out a few long gowns in dark, severe colors, wondering if deep green or navy was an appropriate color to wear to the trial, then decided maybe not. Dark colors, she remembered BU-T6 telling her, could convey mourning—or was it just one color that did that? She didn't remember.

Her hands found a stiff, multi-textured fabric and she drew out what proved, once she had it laid out on her bed, to be a black, stiff, long, voluminous overdress with a small collar that stood up at the base of her throat. It wrapped neatly about itself with hardly a wrinkle and clasped at the waist with a shining, black belt, and the fabric itself was woven with slightly raised golden patterns that caught the eye. The sleeves were stiff and wide, reaching to the wrists.

In fact, she wasn't sure if it was black, or a very dark other color. The light seemed to play with the wefts, dancing and shifting.

Rey looked at it for a moment, then back into the closet, where a deep, blood-red cloak of velvet with twin openings for a pair of arms hung, discarded in yesterday's pile of things she'd set aside.

Yes, she thought. That would do nicely. What was it he had said, at the opera house? _Our very own Koré, cloaked in war and coming for the children._

She undid her robe and began to dress.

~

Jaek Starfall opened the door at precisely 0830 in the morning to find Rey, seated at the desk and waiting.

"Good, you're here," she said, and stood up.

"Nice outfit," he said, and indicated the door. "Ready?"

"Nope," she told him, and swept out, the stiff skirt making her feel extremely formidable and stern.

"You're going to be visible from a hundred klicks in that thing," he said, shutting the door and and following her out.

"Good. Let them see me." Rey self-consciously touched her head to make sure her hair was still twisted smoothly back out of her face before she continued through the corridor and into the Grand Concourse. "What time does the trial start?"

"Fifteen minutes." Jaek walked with her, quiet, until they reached the doors, row on row, to the Grand Chamber of the New Republic Senate.

Rey steeled herself for a brief moment and walked in through the doors Jaek indicated, seating herself as the vastness of the interior space threatened to swallow her whole.  Every single pod was occupied with three or more people. All of them were looking at her, whether from above, or below, or across the room. She thought for a moment she might be sick.

"Tea?" asked Jaek, presenting her with a little white cup. She sipped at it gratefully, the heat soothing her panicking belly. "All you have to do is talk. Just pretend you're talking to nobody else but the judge."

"Thanks," she said, and set the empty cup aside.

The jury began to file in, seating themselves in a long, narrow pod up to the left of Rey. "They've all been picked from worlds that the First Order has never gotten its hooks into," Jaek told Rey. "At least they tried to be non-partisan."

Above her, an officer stepped forward and intoned, "All rise for the Honorable Cain Cander."

Rey stood with everyone else and watched as the judge entered his booth, an oblong pod directly across from her. His image was projected on the multiple holoscreens. No young teenage girl, none of that uninterested and neutral judicial nonsense today. Cain Cander was a grim-looking, older man with a seamed face and graying hair, his robes of state a plain and severe dark gray. He meant business.

"Thank you," he said to the officer, and sat. "Will the prosecution please step forward and state their name for the record?"

A woman in a pod near his stood and cleared her throat. Rey couldn't make her out from the distance, so she relied on the screens again. "Maris Orden, for the prosecution, Your Honor." She looked nothing like Rey had expected a hawkish trial attorney to look. Rey had expected someone rather like Sorra Wall—professional, precise, in black-and-white. Maris Orden was dressed in a flowing, wine-colored robe and gown, a pretty young human woman with flawless skin only a few shades lighter than Finn's and long, wavy, pale pink hair. Her deep burgundy lipstick matched her robes, and Rey could see a sheen of pale-pink, shiny powder dusted on her cheekbones, nose, and eyelids on the screen.

"Thank you, Ms. Orden. There will be no defense attorney." A murmur went up, but Cander ignored it. "Officer, please bring the accused in."

Rey twisted her fingers together in her lap and after a brief, awful moment where she was sure that Ben had escaped or something, the officer returned, and accompanying him—

The chamber breathed. Every being in the place inhaled in surprise, shock, curiosity. Rey let out the breath she had been holding, and stared at the screens.

Ben was alive, and walking upright, tall and clean and wearing—

 _Oh_ , whispered someone off to her right, and Rey turned her head to see who had said it but _the robes_ someone said to her left and she realized he was garbed entirely in white and pale grays and silver, a tailored tunic, a silver X-shaped breastplate holding the long, white velvet cloak that fell to the ground in place, silver cuffs on his arms—and she knew it must be something Alderaanian nobility wore; the cut similar to the things his mother had worn.

The murmuring didn't stop, even when Ben reached his pod and inclined his head to Judge Cander.

"Order," said Cander, and everyone quieted. "The accused shall state his name for the record."

"Ben Organa Solo," said Ben, and that caused another stir in the audience.

"Order!" snapped Cander. "You state before this court that you waive your right to representation?"

"I do," he said. "I signed the paperwork myself."

"Excellent, this will be a very short trial," said Cander. "The defendant, Ben Organa Solo, also known as Kylo Ren, has been indicted for participating in a conspiracy for the purpose of crimes against peace, for planning, initiating and waging wars of aggression, and for war crimes. Ms. Orden, the floor is yours."

"I'd like to call my first witness," said Maris in a soft, almost girlish voice. "TN-5673, now going by Tyn. Will you please take the stand?"

Rey's fingernails dug into the upholstered seat as she watched a young man take the stand—a Stormtrooper, he explained as he began to speak. Tyn told them he'd personally witnessed Kylo Ren's actions for several years, and told them about the multiple orders he had personally carried out, slaughtering people with his lightsaber, ordering troopers to open fire on villages and tribes. To Rey's shock, he'd been present for the attack on the same Jakku village that Finn had, and told the audience about the murder of Lorr San Tekka, Poe's kidnapping, and the deaths of every being in the village after.

Ben had the grace to look ashamed as Tyn continued his story. He had not been present for Starkiller Base's attack on Hosnian Prime, but he told them how Kylo Ren's volatile temperament had been a source of contention for most troopers and officers anywhere he went—you never knew what he might do next, or what he might break or destroy in a fit of anger.

"Do you fear him now?" asked Maris Orden.

Tyn looked over at the tall man in white, head bowed. "Yes. But…no, not in the same way," he said thoughtfully. "I heard about what he did on the _Supremacy._ "

"He—what did he do on the _Supremacy_?" Maris Orden was clearly not expecting this comment.

"He killed Snoke," explained Tyn, and another murmur of comment went up from the audience. The jury started whispering among themselves. "After, he told everyone it was some girl he had on board, but I saw the footage before it was wiped from the holocams."

"The—footage?" Maris was clearly wrestling with her own curiosity.

"Oh, yes, ma'am. Saw the whole thing. Glad I didn't say a word about it, neither. Snoke was trying to get Ren to kill the girl—uh, May, I think her name was—and Ren killed him right there. He'd left the lightsaber by his side at his throne, and Ren turned it around when he wasn't paying attention and sliced the old moof-milker right in half, short-ways. Made him think it was the May girl he was gonna kill, right to the last second. Then the pair of them fought off the Praets."

Maris blinked. "I—and what happened after they fought off the guards?"

"Oh, the footage ran out. I didn't have access to the rest." Tyn shrugged. "But anyway, I figure anyone who would have the balls—I mean, sorry, your Honor, the guts, to kill off Snoke in his own rooms is probably re-thinking his life, so to speak."

"No more questions," said Maris. "Thank you."

Tyn touched his forehead in a little half-gesture and went back to his seat.

A few more witnesses were called, and Rey began to think that Ben might have a shot at living through this after all. Most of the witnesses were officers or troopers that had bargained to witness in exchange for being left alone, according to Jaek, and several of them had no idea that Ren had killed Snoke, which cast their own accounts into quite a different light. A trooper (NB-6593, now going by Nib) testified he had seen Kylo Ren carrying a captured scavenger to an interrogation room on Starkiller Base, and that he had taken every care to secure her without harming her. (Rey felt rather unsettled by that little revelation.) One security officer, Officer Draav, readily admitted to knowing that Ren had murdered Snoke, and that he'd known General Hux would have murdered Ren if he had known, so he had taken the matter into his own hands and ordered the security footage destroyed. Several others all agreed that they had, at one point or another, overheard Kylo Ren make some private, scathing comment about Supreme Leader Snoke. One trooper testified he had heard Kylo Ren quietly praying in his quarters, begging someone or something unseen to help him resist the light. All in all, the witnesses painted an entirely different picture of Kylo Ren than Maris had likely ben expecting: a deeply nuanced, unstable man plagued by Snoke's commands and whispers, often petulant and childish, both fearing Snoke and loathing him, both pulled toward the light and being pulled toward the dark.

Clearly, this trial was not going to be as smooth and quick as Judge Cander had thought.

Maris, looking almost as if she'd rather be on any number of different planets, called Rey to the stand at the very end, when there were no more witnesses to be called. _I'm the last resort,_ Rey realized. Had there been a defense attorney, she would be the star witness. Instead, she was called only because she had to be.

She caught a flicker of surprise and interest from Tyn and several other troopers, including Officer Draav, as she stood and waited for the questions. She could see her own face on the screen, serene and calm, flanked on both sides by the crimson cloak.

"State your name, please." Rey could sense the discomfort radiating from Maris and the determination to make not a single false step.

"Rey of Jakku."

"You are familiar with the defendant?"

"Yes." Rey glanced over at Ben, who even from this distance she could see had gone a little white in the face.

"When did you meet him?"

"I met him on Takodana, when the First Order was searching for Poe Dameron's BB-8 unit containing the map to Luke Skywalker." Rey looked back over at Maris.

"So, about a year ago. And what was the nature of your meeting?"

Rey thought carefully. It certainly wouldn't do to say _well, Ms. Orden, he chased me through the woods, scared me half to death, immobilized me with the Force, knocked me out, and kidnapped me._ She would tell the truth, but not the details. "We encountered each other in the forest during the skirmish between the First Order and the Resistance at Maz Kanata's castle. He saw into my mind with the Force and knew I had seen the map to Luke Skywalker that was hidden inside the droid. He—I wouldn't say he _knocked_ me unconscious, he used the Force to do it and it didn't hurt at all—but he rendered me unconscious, I suppose, using the Force, and when I woke up I was restrained on Starkiller Base and he was there."

"Was he hurting you when you woke?"

"No. He was squatting on the floor a meter or two away. I thought—I thought at the time maybe he was trying to make me not be afraid of him." Rey flushed with the silliness of it.

"What happened then?"

"We exchanged a few words and he took off his mask. And I saw his face for the first time." She could recall it clear as day, the fine high cheekbones, the crooked jaw and the full lips, haughty dark eyes staring at her from under a mop of dark curly hair. "It wasn't what I was expecting."

"And then?"

"He tried to get the map out of my mind. It's hard to explain to someone who isn't…who hasn't experienced it. It didn't hurt, but it was unpleasant. I pushed back against him, and the—the way he was, what he was doing—" She'd never tried to describe that experience in words before, and they seemed to be failing her. "I, um, I was looking into _his_ mind. It was like it flipped around, and I could see that he was frightened."

"Frightened?" Maris tilted her head.

"Yes. He was afraid that he would never be as powerful as…his grandfather."

More hushed talking from the audience filled the room until Judge Cander called sternly for order. After some more prompting from Maris, Rey finished the story.

She told them how she'd escaped, how he'd killed Han Solo, of the battle in the snow where she'd laid his face open with Anakin Skywalker's saber, how she'd left him bleeding there on the ground as the planet shook apart and escaped. And then came the second part: how they'd found themselves bizarrely connected through the Force while she was on Ahch-To and he was across the galaxy, how Snoke had taken credit for the bond between them when she'd believed the visions she'd seen and come to him aboard the _Supremacy,_ and Kylo Ren's act of treachery: the blade through Snoke's body, the defeat of the Praetorian Guard, and how he'd begged her to join him, sweat and tears drenching his face.

She told them how she had refused, tried to pull her saber back to him and how they had struggled, splitting it in two. How she had gone back to his prone form and clipped his saber back to his belt (Ben started a little when she relayed this, and she belatedly remembered she had forgotten to tell him) and how she'd stolen Snoke's shuttle and rendezvous'd with the Falcon and Chewbacca, going to Crait and helping the Resistance push back as Luke Skywalker died distracting Ren from their escape.

Rey paused to sip water from the glass Jaek offered her, and without much preamble delved into the last bit. Naboo. The link. The escape. The fight, the Knights of Ren—(here she omitted detail, painting in broad strokes)—Ben patching her wounds, the skirmish with the Order, the secret meetings in his apartment and his desire to overthrow the Order, all the way to the day she discovered Pax Aurora and gone to save the trapped children and Ben as well.

When she was finished talking, her voice was raspy and worn. Maris Orden looked shaken, one hand frozen to the rail of her pod. Every person on the jury was taking notes frantically.

Jaek leaned over and murmured in her ear as Maris shuffled her notes. "News just came through. General Dameron's court martial is over. He was found not guilty of treason, guilty of one count of insubordination."

Rey gripped the rail so she didn't fall over. "What's his sentence?"

"Demoted to commander and suspended for a month. D'Acy took over as General." Jaek slipped back to his seat and Rey exhaled deeply, drinking more water. She was afraid her hands were visibly trembling in relief.

"Does the prosecution have any more questions for the defendant?" asked Cander.

Maris set her notes down. "No, your Honor." She turned around and faced him. "I'd like to make my closing argument."

"Granted. Rey, be seated."

Rey sat down quickly and hid her shaking hands inside her wide sleeves as Maris began to speak. Her closing argument was still very strong, an impassioned plea to the jury to find Kylo Ren guilty, but they looked more unconvinced than anything. Or perhaps Rey was imagining it, projecting her own hopes onto their facial expressions. One woman in particular looked as if her mind was quite made up, but as to what exactly she was sure about Rey had no idea.

"The jury will recess and deliberate," Cander said, and as they receded into the hallways, Rey saw Ben's face as he sat back in his seat—a mask of measured determination, eyes downcast.

"I can't believe he waived his right to an attorney," Jaek whispered as the last juror left.

"He didn't want to draw it out," Rey explained, and leaned over, trying to catch Ben's eye. She felt stupid, like a lovelorn fourteen-year-old trying to get a boy's attention. He wasn't looking at her, but both his hands were tight on the arms of his chair, knuckles white. She tried to send a message through the Force— _Ben, are you all right?—_ but it was like trying to send a signal to a brick wall. He wasn't receiving a thing, his mind blocked off, blank and cold.

"Court recessed," said Cander. "We will reconvene when the jury has finished deliberating." He stood, and the room stood with him. "Dismissed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick notes on the chapter! Maris Orden's appearance is absolutely inspired by Jackie Aina. Rey's outfit is inspired by a few McQueen gowns. Notes on my life: Husband is deploying to Afghanistan a week from tomorrow, I should be able to finish the whole fic byyyyyy next month? Roughly? Ish? Thank you all so much for your patience!


	44. Verdict

All in all, it took four hours for something to finally happen.

Four hours that were, for Rey, a nail-biting, wrenching ordeal, soothed minimally by cups of hot purple tea Jaek Starfall kept bringing her.  She was not permitted to enter Ben's holding area, so she sat outside on the fountain from the day before, staring at a crack in the duracrete.

"I doubt they'll give him the death penalty," said Jaek brightly.

"You're not helping," she informed him, and set her cup aside, standing and beginning to pace. "I can't—I should be with him."

"Rey?" Finn's voice rang out, and she hurried over and rushed into a warm embrace. "Hey, how are you holding up?"

"She's a mess," said Jaek from behind Rey.

"Rose!" Rey pulled away from Finn and smiled at the petite girl behind Finn. "It's great to see you."

"I've been promoted!" Rose said, sounding as if she hardly believed it. Her shiny new lieutenant's badge gleamed in the sunlight on her uniform tunic.

"You deserve it," Finn said, and wrapped an arm around her.

"Ah, the lovely Rose," said Jaek, and bowed. "Lovely to meet you. Finn won't shut up about you."

Rose flushed pink and squeezed Finn's hand. "We came to hear about the verdict—any news yet?"

"Not yet," Rey told him. "We've been waiting for hours." She sat back down on the fountain's edge and groaned, her shoulders slumping.

"Well, it's court," said Rose, as if that explained everything. "Have you eaten?"

Rey's stomach growled, as if reminded. "No," she said, and frowned. "I don't want food until they decide the kriffing verdict. I can't eat, I'm too nervous."

"Well, it could be a long time," Rose reminded her. "You should at least—"

Their conversation was interrupted by a black-and-white blur racing past them as fast as a pair of high-heeled boots could carry it. Rey peered at the running figure and her eyes widened when she recognized the tailored jacket—it was Sorra Wall.

"Sorra!" she shouted, and took off after the lawyer.

The woman briefly turned her head and registered Rey, but kept running. "Can't talk!" she panted, and Rey followed her, the pent up energy she'd been holding back for so long propelling her forward.

Kark, it felt good to run, she thought. Just the feeling of her legs pumping as hard as they could go was exhilarating. 

They came to a halt at the Grand Concourse and Sorra panted, hands on her knees. "Ben," she gasped, peering up at Rey through a curtain of black hair, one golden eye gleaming. "I have. Footage."

"Footage of what?" Rey asked, brows furrowed.

"It's—" Sorra coughed. "Ran from—other—office. Presenting—evidence."

"He waived his right to a lawyer," Rey protested weakly. "You—"

"I'm doing—my job!" Sorra drew herself up, panting, and tried to smooth her hair before going through the doors and disappearing. Rey made to follow, but the guards blocked her way, and she had no choice but to sit on a bench outside the door and wait.

Jaek found her there a few minutes later, sitting on her hands, head bowed. He sat next to her without a word, and handed her another cup of tea.

~

Another half an hour passed, then an hour, and as the afternoon shadows lengthened and the light began to turn golden, Jaek's datapad flashed and he squinted down at it, then looked over at Rey. "Good news," he said. "Verdict's been decided. Let's go."

Rey jumped to her feet, feeling lightheaded and horribly worried, before following him into the convocation chamber.

It seemed artificially bright compared to the glow from outside. Rey slid into her pod and sat, blinking as she adjusted. The jury filed back into their pods, everyone stood for Judge Cander again, and Ben was pulled out to stand and listen to his fate, with a very determined-looking Sorra Wall at his elbow. Maris Orden was in her pod already, a splotch of pastel pink and deep wine against the gray of the walls. She looked quite ashen on the screens.

The head juror rose and cleared her throat. She was a stern-looking woman of about sixty, her gray hair coiled atop her head. "After much deliberation and after taking into account all the evidence presented by the court, we the jury have unanimously decided on a verdict."

Rey thought she might be sick. She couldn't remember all the charges.

The head juror continued. "As you recall, the defendant was indicted firstly for participating in a conspiracy for the purpose of crimes against peace, secondly, for planning, initiating and waging wars of aggression, and thirdly for war crimes, including the destruction of Hosnian Prime." She took a small breath. "Of the accusation of participating in conspiracies to commit crimes against peace, we the jury find the defendant…not guilty."

The chamber exploded in shouting, yelling, disbelief. Rey sat back and let it wash over her. _You're not out of the forest yet,_ she thought bitterly, refusing to feel relief.

The older woman waited impassively until the crowd quieted, then continued. "Of the crime of initiating and waging wars of aggression, we the jury find the defendant…guilty."

More shouting from the crowd, and Rey's gut sank like a rock. _Please,_ she begged the Force, although she didn't even know what she wanted. She couldn't remember the punishments for all the crimes. She just wanted—she wanted Ben.

For the last time, the head juror waited until the crowd had gone to a dull roar, and cleared her throat again. "And lastly, of the accusation of war crimes, we the jury find the defendant…"

The chamber held its breath. This was the deciding moment. Rey felt it. The chance for revenge for their dead friends, coworkers, bosses on Hosnian Prime; the last chance they all had at revenge—or justice, perhaps, though there's not much of a difference in practice, only in theory.

"Not guilty."

There was a stunned silence, like the silence that comes between roaring waves on a beach. The surge, the crash, the silence.

But the crash always comes again.

People started screaming, banging on the sides of their pods. It was absolute pandemonium. Ben was impassive as a marble statue while Cander rose and bellowed "ORDER!" into the chamber.

As the crowd finally quieted again, the judge sat down, red in the face. "As the governing body of this court and due to the evidence entered by Sorra Wall, I hereby sentence Ben Organa Solo, for the crime of initiating and waging wars of aggression, to ten years on the planet of his choice, during which he will not be permitted to leave the planet, nor amass funds for any sort of criminal activity against the New Republic, nor engage in any subversive activity against the Republic or its military forces."

Sorra Wall leaned forward, speaking into her amplifier. "Your Honor, if I may?"

"You may, Ms. Wall," said Cander.

"During the early years of the Resistance, the governorship of Birren passed to Leia Organa, as she was the next of kin when Lord Mellowyn, the governor, died. The title then passed to Carise Sindian of Arkanis, but her titles were stripped by the Elder Houses after she broke the royal seal. Therefore, the title returned to Leia Organa, but now that she has passed on, the title goes to her heir."

Rey didn't grasp this for a moment, but then she did, and her mouth went dry as wood.

Cander nodded. "Ben Organa Solo, do you accept the title of governor of Birren?"

Ben looked like he might throw up. "Yes," he rasped into the amplifier. "I do."

"And do you choose Birren as your home for the next ten years?"

"Yes," said Ben, who had never been to or seen Birren.

"Mmph," said Judge Cander, looking at his notes. "Let's get the rest of this out of the way, shall we? I'm not in the mood to drag this out for another month…ah. Rey? Rey of Jakku?"

Rey stood and leaned over her amp, her hands shaking. "Your Honor?"

"Yes. I have here that you have in your charge a group of about a dozen Force-sensitive children who were rescued from the _Finalizer_ , is that correct?"

"Yes, your Honor," she said.

"All right. And most of these children have no guardians, correct?"

"I believe that's true, yes, your Honor," she said.

"You seem like a capable young woman who's done well so far with them. We will have them brought here, we will question them and try to track down any existing family. In the event we cannot find existing family, you'll be granted custody until they attain majority, during which you may train them in the ways of the Jedi. There will of course be quarterly checks in the event that happens, to ensure the children are all well cared for and healthy, and you'll receive a stipend from the New Republic to aid in their care as well as your personal needs. I think perhaps… five hundred thousand credits a year. Does that sound agreeable?"

 _Holy Force,_ thought Rey, feeling extremely lightheaded. "Absolutely, your Honor."

"Excellent." He looked down and leafed through his notes. "Finn—is Finn present? Will someone—"

But what the judge wanted someone to do Rey never heard. Her vision sparkled, warped, went oddly bright, and went black as the lack of food and the stress of the day finally got to her, and she fainted, crumpling down directly on Jaek Starfall.

The last thing she heard before losing everything was Ben's voice shouting _Rey, Rey!_

~

When she opened her eyes again, she stiffened and grabbed at the edge of her bed blindly.

"Hey, calm down," said Jaek's voice.

"I can't see," she said, voice shaking.

"You blacked out. It's normal. You're in the clinic. Deep breaths. Nice and slow."

Rey blinked, trying to force her eyes to focus, and very gradually began to see exactly two colors. Dark things appeared to be dark purple, light things were light. There was no depth to objects. She touched her own sleeve and kept blinking as the light shape that was Jaek's face moved about. Rey caught a whiff of hot food, and her stomach cramped in response.

"What is that?" she asked.

"Your dinner," he told her. "Eat up."

Rey took the fork he pressed into her hand and started eating. It was good—some sort of meat, spiced and mixed with grains and vegetables. As she ate, her vision returned, though her hands felt a little shaky. She drank the water Jaek offered and sat back, plate cleared. She was on a firm white bed, a few monitors scanning her as she sat.

"No getting up until you're medically cleared," he told her. "You scared the hell out of me and everyone else."

"What did I miss?" Rey asked.

He peered down at his datapad. "Finn got assigned as permanent counselor for all the defected troopers from the First Order. Ben Solo is set to leave Coruscant under guard as soon as he signs off on his title. The kidnapped children are already on the surface and being spoken to by a few welfare officers, but I have no details on that as far as I—"

The door slid open with a hiss and Rey turned to see who was coming in.

The cup of water slid from her hand and fell to the floor.

"Ben," she said weakly, and he was across the room in three strides, white velvet cloak billowing around her as he almost fell on the bed, embracing her.

"Rey," he murmured into her hair. "Rey. You're okay. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, clutching him as tightly as she could. "Are you—are you—"

"I'm fine." He drew back and looked at her face. "I—" He glanced sideways at Jaek, who was standing against the other wall watching the proceedings with great interest. "Could you excuse us for a moment?"

"Sure." Jaek pushed off from the wall and pointed at Ben. "Don't make her pass out again." He sauntered over to the door and pushed the latch, heading out and closing it behind him.

The second it hissed shut, Ben grabbed the back of Rey's neck and kissed her, fingers winding into her styled bun, tongue flicking across her bottom lip. She reached up and clutched at his hair, tangling her fingers into his curls as his hands went lower and found her waist, leaning forward, pushing her back on the bed.

"We can't," gasped Rey, breaking off the kiss. "Not here."

He let out the tiniest of groans and pressed his forehead to hers. "All right." His lips curved in a small smile. "Where?"

"Ben!" She rolled her eyes and smacked at his shoulder, giggling in spite of herself.

He kissed at her cheek and drew back. "Where will you go?"

"Well—" She hadn’t actually thought about that, in all the uproar. "I thought—well, I like Naboo. But if I'm going to be mentoring all those kids, I think we should stay somewhere I can get help training them."

"Help training them?" Ben looked puzzled.

"Well, yes." Rey cocked her head. "I mean—if you don't mind."

"If I—what?"

"Birren. I—I don't want to be a bother if you don't want us there, but—"

Ben's mouth dropped into an O of surprise and he stared at her. "You want—you want to come live with me on Birren? You want to bring the _kids_?"

"Of course I do! There's—I—did you really think I'd go anywhere without you?"

"Rey," he said. "I can't go offworld for another decade. You heard the sentence. Don't you think—you're limiting yourself—"

"I'm doing no such thing," she said sharply. "I'm coming with you to Birren and that's all there is to it."

Ben opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, then closed his eyes and pulled her into another hug. "It's a nice planet," he said. "It's grassy and warm, sunny. Sorra told me on the way here. I won't have much in the way of…wealth, or anything, it's more of a symbolic title—"

"You can tell me all about it on the way there," she told him, and kissed him hard, both hands fastened in his cloak as if she'd never let him go.


	45. Loose Ends

Only about half the children they had rescued from the _Finalizer_ had family that were able to be found and who were willing to take them in, which left Rey in charge of Tem, Ara, Dax, Mira, and a very shy little boy named U'yi, about five years old with a closely shaved head and almond-shaped eyes that missed nothing in a room.

Rey, who had immediately taken part of her stipend to amass decent and serviceable clothing, went shopping again with all of them, buying them four sets of clothing each along with boots and shoes that fit.

Ben accompanied them on the trips, mostly acting as bored guardian, but Rey caught him smiling at least twice. He stage-whispered to U'yi about how expensive the boots were, and pretended to wave a hand in front of the store clerk, prompting Rey to roll her eyes and firmly proclaim that no Jedi mind tricks were allowed when shopping—which finally coaxed a smile out of U'yi.

~

"I did have a question," said Rey, setting down the bundle of clothing in their bags and stretching her back. The new shoes had hurt her feet, and she was more than grateful for the plush carpeting in the living area of their temporary apartment.

"Hm?" said Ben, sitting across the room on the couch. (The kids all had the run of the upstairs floor, but they were so tired from the day they'd all fallen asleep, and it was still light in the sky.)

"What exactly did Sorra show the jury?" Rey folded a small cloak and reached for a pair of socks. "She rushed in all of a mess."

"Ah," said Ben, setting aside the pants he'd been folding. "Well." He looked uncomfortable. "She got her hands on an hour of unedited security footage of the cell I'd been held in on the _Finalizer._ "

"She _what?"_

"Shh, you'll wake up the kids." Ben picked up another pair of small pants. "She showed it to the jury as new evidence. It was cleared as genuine during the deliberation by four different ex-Order officers and she rushed it there as fast as possible."

"What…" Rey dropped the socks. "What in five hells did it _show_?"

"What do you think?" Ben asked, not rudely.

"Oh, kark," said Rey, and sank to the floor for a moment, clutching her light houserobe around her. "No, I'm fine," she said quickly as Ben made to stand up and come over. "So they…they saw you being tortured."

"Yep. About thirty minutes of it and three people got sick—or so Sorra says." Ben sat back down. "It was crucial because Hux was in it, going on and on about how I was a traitor to the Order, how I'd always been a traitor and he knew it, how he'd only put up with me because of Snoke, how he'd never trusted me, and so on and so forth. So I guess that sort of counted as testimony from the highest authority they could get on holocam, even though he's dead."

"Where did she get the footage from? The ship was destroyed."

Ben glanced over at her. "All the footage on the ship would be routinely archived after a few hours and sent to a database center on Nar Shadda. Except someone managed to intercept the signal the day I was taken. Someone on Chandrilia."

Rey gaped at him. "So—so who gave Sorra the copy?"

"Senator Biss Tran," said Ben. "She came to see me during the jury's deliberation. She's been working under the radar with the Sella family and a few other agents in the interest of restoring the Jedi Order and bringing an end to the First Order."

"She sent me to the spa," said Rey. "She—"

"She was mentored by Mon Mothma. She knew my mother, and she had faith in me, although how on earth she kept that faith in the past few years I have no idea," he said, a bit abashed. "But yes, she studied the Jedi for years, and she engineered a good deal of this. I think she personally believes that you and I are the ones who are supposed to balance the Force."

Rey took a few deep breaths and got up off the floor. "Well, we wouldn't want to let her down," she said.

"No," said Ben gently. "No, that we would not."

She took a few steps toward him, to where he sat in a pool of light from the lamp beside him. They hadn't shared a bed since the _Organa_ —she felt oddly shy of him, and he hadn't pressed the issue, but that hadn't stopped them from stepping into alcoves for quick kisses now and then. "Ben," she said. "I'm coming with you because I want to. Not because of the Force, or a prophecy, or anyone else. I'll make my choice and live with it."

He looked at her for a moment, then stood to tower a head above her. "I know," he said softly. "I just—you're sure?"

He looked so tired. His eyes had dark circles beneath them, as if he'd been having trouble sleeping. The stress of the trial and the aftermath had likely gotten to him, not to mention having to relive his treatment at the hands of the First Order and Hux again. Rey felt a stir of pity. "Of course I'm sure." She let her fingers brush against his wrist and looked up into his face. "Are you?"

"No," he admitted, looking down at her. "I'm not. But it seems my path is taking me where it will, regardless of how I feel about it." A smile ghosted across his lips. "Like you."

Rey wrinkled her nose at him and inched up on the balls of her feet to kiss him on the cheek. "Go to bed," she ordered. "Big day tomorrow. Moving to Birren, big ceremony."

"I'm not sleepy," he said, his voice lower, smooth and alert. "Are you?"

Rey swallowed, her throat dry suddenly. "N—not really. But we have to be up early."

She felt his mind, clear and present as his body, the quick tendrils of self-doubt and nervous anticipation flickering across something deep and strong and—

"Yes," he said softly. "We do."

Rey felt her face heat up and looked away. "I—I—can we—" Her words caught in her throat. "Can we take it slowly? I just—I don't—it's been—"

"I'd like that," he said, sounding a little relieved and surprised. Rey glanced back up and sensed the deeper undercurrent of anxiety and apprehension beneath the intense desire that had made her blush. "Will you—my room?"

"Yes," she said, and took his hand.

~

The bedroom Ben had been assigned was snug and lit in warm, neutral colors. The bed was wide enough for three people to fit comfortably, and the brown synthsilk cover and white, fresh pillows glistened in the low amber lights. A narrow, high window curved along the outside wall, specks of traffic light sparkling through the transparisteel.

Ben shut the door and turned to face Rey as she stood in her houserobe, just at the foot of the bed. His eyes tracked across her face and body and Rey sensed his thoughts—appreciating the way the golden light played across her skin, her eyes, her hair.

"How—how slowly, exactly?" she asked, and he drew closer, unbuttoning his shirt and letting the collar fall open. She'd forgotten that smooth, pale expanse—the dark freckles at the base of his throat.

"Not too slowly," he said, sounding a little rough, and cupped her cheek in one large hand, brushing her hair back over her shoulder. "If that's all right with you."

Rey caught her lip in her teeth and nodded, a quick little movement. She felt almost as if it was the first time again, Naboo and the awkwardness of another body. The stolen kisses in alcoves were one thing: this was entirely another. It was as if they were two new people, learning about each other all over again. "Don't—don't kiss me yet," she said quickly, and took his hands, guiding him toward the bed. He followed and climbed up, barefoot, next to her.

Rey looked at him, waited until he made eye contact, and slowly inched the robe off her right shoulder, exposing quite a decent amount of skin. Ben swallowed visibly and his eyes inched away and down, as if torn by an inexorable force. "Rey," he said hoarsely, his fingers working at the hem of his own shirt.

"I thought you agreed and said we should go slowly," she said teasingly, and inched the robe down just enough to bare her breast, one pink nipple exposed to the cool air of the bedroom. She shivered, and both her nipples hardened, the left one poking through the thin material of her robe.

Ben made a rough noise somewhere in his throat and Rey sensed the thin, thin leash he was holding on his own self-control, along with the excruciating erection he was currently sporting, taut against the front of his pants, hot and swollen and hard. "R-Rey. _Don't_."

It was the underlying terror she felt that made her quickly pull her robe back up and cross her arms across her chest protectively, a little worried herself, even though her own body was already responding regardless of her thoughts on the matter. "All right," she said softly, and waited, the entire area between her legs already warm and tender, flush with heat.

Ben clamped his hand over his eyes and bent down, his elbows on his knees. When he looked back up, his dark eyes were wet and red around the rims. "I'm sorry," he said. "I frightened you." His shields were back up, his mind protected from her senses.

"No," Rey said. "No, you're afraid of something, and you don't want me to see it." One of her hands went to his knee. "What is it? What's the matter?"

He steeled himself, looking away, then looked back at her. "I'm—I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you," he said quietly, an edge to his voice. "I don't—we haven't done this since the ship, and—a lot has happened. There's—I'm—there's a lot going on. In my head. It—I don't—I don't know."

"Ben," she said gently. "If it's too much, we can wait."

"I don't _want_ to wait," he groaned, and clamped down with both fists full of the silk bedspread, brown silk rumpling in the light.

"But you're also afraid to touch me?" Rey reached out and let her right hand rest atop his left fist. "So let me touch you, then. It might—it might ease us both, a little." Ben raised his head and searched her eyes for a moment, unsure, then nodded slowly. "Take off your shirt," she told him, and he obeyed, his eyes flickering down to undo the clasps on his shirt before he peeled it off, exposing his pale skin, freckles scattered every which way over his shoulders and chest.

Rey reached out and brushed the scar on his ribs, a white-silver line of raised, senseless flesh. "Ah," she said softly, and let her hand roam across to his other side, across the hard planes of muscle there, the thick core.

Ben let out a soft, shuddering sigh, and relaxed minutely as she kept touching him, stroking his chest, his sides, as if he was an eopie she was gentling. "Shh," she said softly as she reached his shoulder, the thick muscle there, the smooth column of his neck. He turned his head and pressed his cheek to her palm as she moved to get on her knees, then flushed a deep pink as her robe shifted open and exposed her upper body.

"Rey," he started, and groaned, deep in his throat, as she buried her fingers in his thick, soft hair and pressed her mouth to his neck. " _Rey._ "

"It's all right," she reassured him quickly, pulling away and running her fingers through his hair. "Here. Touch me." She took his free hand, his left one, and brought it close, pressing his palm to her right breast. "See?"

Ben's throat worked soundlessly and his thumb skimmed over her skin almost unconsciously, his fingers lifting and pressing and then his head was down, dark mop of hair pressed against her chest as his lips and teeth found her nipple and licked, sucked, lightly bit.

Rey arched her back and tightened her grip on his hair. "Ben," she moaned. "Ben. Yes. _Yes._ "

He lifted his mouth, her breast cold as air touched it, and did the same to her left one. She squeaked and gasped and threw her head back, dragging him closer between her bare legs. His mouth released with a gentle sound and he looked up, eyes heavy-lidded and mouth pink. "Do it to me," he said, voice gone an octave deeper, and before she knew what was happening she was sitting across his hips as he lay on his back, frantically kicking off his pants while she leaned down and mouthed at his flat, small, sensitive nipples.

His legs finally free of the confines of clothing, he let out a sharp sound as her teeth nipped at his skin, then flipped her over onto her back in one smooth movement, burying his face in her neck as he scrambled to both yank off his underthings and keep both hands on his skin at the same time. "Please, please, Rey," he was gasping, and one struggling hand planted firmly down onto a loose lock of hair.

"Ouch!" Rey hissed, and clapped her hand to her scalp as Ben wrenched himself up and away, chest gleaming with sweat, heaving for air.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he panted, and fell back on his elbows, away from her, legs tangled over and under hers.

"It's all right," she said, and looked at her fingers to make sure her scalp wasn't bleeding. "Ben?"

He rolled to his side, facing away from her, and she saw—

"Ben."

His back was scarred, lines the width of a cord behind his shoulders, down his lower back. The bruises had faded, but the scars remained, perfectly straight and pinky-white. Burn scars. Some were raised, some were flush with his skin, but the shape and color was unmistakable.  

He was still and quiet for a moment. "Bacta can't heal everything," he said in a toneless sort of voice. "They said…with time, maybe."

Rey stayed where she was for a second, then moved forward, scooting across the bed. Carefully, she rested a finger on the uppermost scar, feeling the knobbly and roughened skin, then traced it down to where it ended, just above one of his ribs.

"Please, don't," he said tightly. "I can't stand it."

"Do you really want me to stop?" she asked softly, lifting her fingers.

There was a heavy pause, and he whispered, "No."

Rey made her way down his back, tracing every line with her fingertips, pressing her lips to his skin until she had come to the end and there were no more scars; until Ben was fighting tears and rolled over, taking her in his arms again and finally, finally kissing her, hands tracing over her own scars, over her hips, her waist, her thighs. He groaned into her shoulder as she pulled him down on her and took him into herself, pulling him in deep with her heels and clutching at his back as his instinct took over and he began to moan, thrusting steadily, driving deep with his hands tight on her shoulders, her arms. She cried out and bucked up against him, her thighs taut and shaking, and only then did he finally let himself finish, a litany of endless noises half-muffled by the pillows as he came down, shaking, and relaxed slack and soft into her arms.

"Shh," said Rey softly, stroking back his hair. "I've got you."

"Mmm," he said distantly, rolling his head. In complete relaxation, his body looked awkward and ungainly, one arm folded against her body and the other crooked up against her chest. Her left foot had a dull cramp along the instep, but she felt as if she could lie there forever and not move.

"We should sleep," he said after a while, voice fuzzy with exhaustion, making no attempt to move off her.

"Scoot," she said, tapping his waist. "My legs are freezing."

He groaned, but flopped over to her right side and burrowed under the covers. "I'll shower in the morning," he mumbled, and within a few minutes she could hear the slow, even breathing of sleep.

Rey closed her eyes for a moment, then slid out of bed and found her robe with as little noise as she could. She tucked the covers up around Ben's shoulders and kissed him on the cheek, then dimmed the lights as she stole silently out of the bedroom.

She stopped quite short at the sight of a very sleepy Dax, rubbing his eyes and yawning in the hallway, pajama-clad and clutching a stuffed, plush bantha that Rey had bought him two days ago and that he'd instantly named Tata and been inseparable from ever since. "Dax?" she whispered, hurrying to him. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"I heard noises," he said, his little blue face scrunched up. "Did Ben get hurt?"

"No," said Rey quickly, frantically trying to keep from blushing. "No, he's all right now. He just had a bad dream. Let's take you back up to bed, okay?"

"Okay." Dax held his arms up and she picked him up, trudging out into the living area and finding the stairs to the second floor. His cheek fit into the curve of her neck, and his solid little head thumped her cheek every time she took a step.

They got back into the boys' room, where Tem and U'yi were passed out cold, mouths open. Rey set Dax down on his empty cot and tucked him in. "There."

"Do grownups have bad dreams, too?" Dax asked in a whisper.

"Sometimes," Rey whispered back, and sat down on the cot. "When people—sometimes when people get hurt or something bad happens to them, it stays with them in their heads. They have bad dreams, or they cry sometimes, or get upset."

Dax pulled his stuffed bantha closer. "He doesn't have a Tata to help," he said.

"No, just me," Rey said, and patted the little stuffed toy.

"Did you sing him a song?" Dax hugged Tata. "Mama used to sing me songs when I had a bad dream. Can you sing me a song?"

"Did she?" Rey asked. She couldn't remember her mother at all, let alone any songs—but hadn’t there been at some point, a lullaby? Something about the stars, and the sand, and the words _the moon is sleeping_. And the tune—she tried to grasp the memory, the echo of the tune, but it slipped out of her memory like a streamer. "I don't know a lot of songs," she admitted. "I'll have to learn some, I suppose."

"Can you tell me a story?" Dax asked, round little eyes hopeful.

"I don't—" _I don't know any stories_ , she'd meant to say, but that wasn't quite true.

She did, after all, know at least one story.

Dax settled in and began to listen, eyes drooping, as she began to softly speak, "Once upon a time, a beautiful princess lived in a kingdom beneath a mountain, and she loved to pick flowers. Her name was Koré…"


	46. A Tilted Planet

They boarded their private shuttle early the next morning, Rey, Ben, and the five children. Originally, the plan had been to ship Ben off to Birren in the hold of a freighter, but Rey had raised enough racket about it that the judiciary had relented and allowed all seven of them to use a Starshine Shuttle. Ben was helping the crew load their luggage and supplies, so it fell to Rey to herd the five excited children on board and get everyone seated.

"My seat _moves_ ," said Ara, eyes wide as she jounced up and down with the movement of the seatback, one hand on the switch that enabled the recline function.

"Can you please—" Rey cut herself off as she tried to keep Mira from squirming out of her arms in the next row over. Tem was racing up and down the aisle in glee, and it was working Dax up. The little Twi'lek began to join in, giggling madly. "Tem—stop it. Tem!"

Ara squealed as the seat jerked forward and threw her into U'yi, who began to cry loudly. Mira, startled, began to cry in sympathy, her yellow and pink face crumpling up. Tem raced past again, Dax in his wake.

"Tem— _Temiri_ , if you don't _sit down_ —" Rey shouted, losing her cool.

Dax tripped and went right down on his face, and that was the precise time Ben ducked into the shuttle.

He took in the scene. Dax, wearing a stunned expression, Tem, frozen mid-stride and looking very guilty indeed, Ara on the verge of tears, U-yi sobbing and holding his arms, and lastly, Mira wailing into Rey's neck while Rey wore an expression that suggested perhaps she wasn't _quite_ suited to handling five children at once.

"Everyone, find a seat, sit, and buckle your safety harnesses," Ben said very firmly, and Tem and Dax immediately scrambled for a seat. He made his way over to U'yi, who raised his arms in the universal gesture of children wanting to be held. Ben picked him up and turned to Ara. Mira was still crying.

"He's okay, he's okay," Rey said soothingly, rocking the little girl back and forth. "Shh."

Ara looked immensely guilty. "I'm sorry, Master Solo," she whispered. "I didn't mean to hurt U'yi."

"I know you didn't." Ben patted her on the shoulder awkwardly. "You're older than the younger three, so I expect you to be a little more careful, all right?"

"Yes," she said, and sat up very straight.

"Good." Ben turned to Rey. Mira's sobs had receded into sniffles. "Okay. All loaded up. I'll sit with the boys, you take the girls?"

Rey nodded in relief. "Please. Dax's Tata is in the bag behind me, if he wants it."

"His—his what?" Ben looked confused.

"His—it's a stuffed bantha, he named it Tata." Rey pressed her cheek to Mira's head, the hard little nubs that would one day develop into horns rubbing against her skin. She held a napkin wipe to Mira's nose. "Blow," she said. Mira dutifully blew, and Rey wiped her nose and lip before tossing the wipe into the handy seat incinerator.

Ben hesitated, then leaned down quickly and kissed Rey on the cheek. "Okay. I'll be right in the front with the boys," he said gently, and turned away, but not before Ara caught the gesture, eyes wide.

Rey, rather embarrassed, made a face at her. "What?" she said.

"Master Solo _likes youuu_ ," Ara whispered, and pressed her hands to her cheeks in barely-contained, juvenile glee.

Rey flushed, heat suffusing her whole face. Ben wasn't in the habit of making public displays of affection, and the gesture was touching, but also left her a bit rattled. "Well, I—I like him too. Stop wriggling around."

"You said you were _friends_!" Ara stage-hissed at her. "If you get married, does that mean we're your kids?"

Rey gaped at her. "We're not—there's—I—" She gave up, and whispered back, "If you're going to whisper at least come over here and sit with me."

Ara unbuckled her harness and slid over, buckling into the seat next to Rey. "I saw a wedding at Canto Bight once," she informed Rey sagely. "It was a pretty lady and a man. They did it in the middle garden on the track. You do it when you're in love."

"I've never even seen a wedding," Rey confessed, her curiosity overcoming her embarrassment. "But I've heard of them. What was it like?"

Ara's eyes widened. "You have to wear a pretty dress. Like, a _really, really, really really_ pretty dress. And a person comes, and he says things you say back, and then you say you love each other and then you _kiss._ And then there's a big party with a lot of food." She nodded firmly. "The lady and the man I saw, she was so beautiful. She was a great big lady and had the most _prettiest_ long hair all curled up, and wore a dress like rainbows." She got a dreamy look in her eyes. "And the man was small and skinny and not…very handsome, but he had on a black suit. They were _so_ rich."

"So you think Master Ben and I should get married," said Rey. Mira sagged gently, and Rey realized she was asleep.

"I meeeean," said Ara, winding a red curl around her finger. She paused and eyed Rey. "Are you in love?"

"I—" Rey had never even considered the question. "I—I think so." She went hot again, her cheeks burning. "I—I'm not sure how I would know."

Ara screwed up her face, thinking. "Well…maybe it's something you just _know_ on your insides. Like when you eat some bad M'harshrimp and you have to sit in the 'fresher for an hour. Nobody has to _tell_ you."

Rey had to laugh at that. "Maybe. I don't know."

Ara tucked her feet up under her. "I won't tell anyone," she promised as the doors shut and the sublight engines began to rumble. "Can I have a nut-bar?"

"You just had breakfast an hour ago," Rey pointed out. "Trandoshani flatcakes and fruit mash and sweetsap and blue butter? You can't be hungry again. I remember distinctly you had four cakes."

"I'm not gonna eat it, I'm gonna save it," Ara said, looking vaguely put off. "For… later."

Rey signed gently and stroked her wild curls out of her eyes. "You don't have to save food anymore. We talked about this, remember? You know you can come directly to me or Ben if you're hungry."

"I know," she said uneasily, and fidgeted with her fingers.

"Okay." Rey gave in and dug around with her free left hand in the bag she'd carried on with the snacks. "Here you go." She fished out a nut-bar and handed it to Ara. "If you want another one, you can come to me. Promise."

Ara hesitated, then took the bar and hugged Rey's left arm. "Thanks," she whispered and tucked the bar into her pocket, then drew her little jacket over herself and curled up in the chair, facing away from Rey.

Mira snuffled and Rey felt drool on her neck. She sighed and reached for another napkin wipe.

~

Birren's main port wasn't very busy, but there was a large greeting party waiting when they disembarked off the shuttle four hours later. From their robes and expensive-looking hairdos, Rey surmised they must be Birrenese nobles.

Ben, holding Dax on his hip easily with one arm, held out the other to shake the hand of the older man who headed up the group. "Welcome, Ben Organa Solo," he said formally, clasping Ben's hand with both of his. "I am Lord Dinys, Arbiter of Birren's Governorship. I am so pleased that you and your…" He hesitated for a moment, unsure of the proper noun for the band of travel-tired and cranky children, herded by Rey. "…charges have arrived safely."

"Thank you, Lord Dinys," said Ben. "I'm aware there will be several weeks of rituals before I assume the governorship. I'd like to ensure that the children and my—" He glanced over at Rey, perplexed himself. "Erm—Madame Jedi Rey, are settled as quickly as possible, wherever you have made arrangements."

"Indeed." Lord Dinys smiled broadly. "There have been rooms prepared for you all in the gubernatorial palace, the Great Hall. We have perused all the documents sent to us by the Senate regarding your particular situation, and we unanimously decided to give you the Hall until such time as you decide to leave it."

Ben opened his mouth, then closed it. "Oh. Th—thank you. Very much."

"Of course. And may I offer my condolences on your late lady mother's passing." Lord Dinys gestured, tactfully looking away as Ben composed himself, and an older woman stepped forward. She looked quite stern, with firmly curled graying hair that had once been black and a thick middle, but her face broke into a smile as she looked at Rey and the children. "This is Warden Matron Yori Golstien. She will attend you all while we escort Master Solo to preparations."

Rey could sense nothing but firm motherly purpose emanating from Warden Matron Yori Golstien. Dax must have sensed it too, for he held up his arms to her immediately and Yori picked him up, settling him on her hip without blinking. "Now then," she said as the rest of the group meandered away with Ben. "Let's get you and these young ones settled, shall we?"

"Oh, thank you," said Rey wearily, and followed her into the shuttle, kids in tow.

~

The Great Hall of Birren was a rustic, enormous old castle of a building that had quite clearly stood for at least several thousand years. It sat atop a wide, gentle sloped hill leading to the great front doors, well-kept grounds surrounding the building.  Composed of an eclectic mixture of wood, stone, and permacrete, its interior lit by a combination of candles and glowlamps where the light from the windows didn't reach, Rey thought it was quite comfortable and homey, even if it was so big she thought she might get lost.

"The original structure," Yori informed her as they walked down a long hallway, "was the Great Hall. Simply a large, long structure built for gatherings. As centuries passed, of course, the place was added on to and built up—we have five wings, three kitchens, a grand library, a treasure room—"

"Treasure?" gasped Ara.

Yori chuckled. "Not treasure as you think of it, dear. More like heirlooms, old things. Sentimental value."

"Oh," said Ara.

Rey shifted her hand to let Mira grab her right index finger as they walked. Her other hand was being clutched by U'yi as he marched along. "Plus the Great Hall itself, I assume?"

"Oh, yes," said Yori. "Yes, the hall itself is used for ceremonies. What else…ah, the gardens. We have two gardens, the kitchen garden and the flower garden—and the orchards, of course. Oh, and the lawns, down by the stream—the little river flows from behind the Hall to the west, then falls down the face of the hills. Every midsummer we have a grand fête in the flower gardens, it's quite a spectacle."

"What season is it now?" asked Rey, realizing she'd completely lost track of things like times and seasons. It had been cold and a little damp at the port, but she hadn't really registered the weather, she'd been mostly preoccupied with getting Mira's thumb out of her mouth and listening to Lord Dinys.

If Yori thought the question was strange, she didn't show it. "Early spring now. Today is Moon-day, the first day of the week, the twenty-third of the First Month."

"I'm no good with calendars," Rey admitted. "Jakku didn't have seasons. I only ever counted days."

"Ah, you hail from an untilted planet," said Yori. She quickly and sternly addressed Tem, who was dragging his feet along the flagstones on the floor to hear the echo. "Young sir, desist at once." Tem stopped, abashed. "Seasons," she continued, "are caused by a tilted planet. The higher the tilt degree upon the axis, the more extreme the seasons. Birren sits at a thirty-three degree tilt. Cool breezy springs, hot summers, cool brisk autumns, nice cold winters. I'll ensure you all are provided with snow clothes before the autumn."

"Snow," Rey said weakly, but they had arrived at their destination already. Yori unlocked two enormous wooden doors with her keys, then pushed them open.

The kids raced into the room that awaited them: a large, open seating area equipped for small children, lit and furnished with couches and chairs that seemed to hail from another millennium. A roaring fire built in the large fireplace along one wall permeated the chill of the room, and fortunately a large childproof grate protected an errant trip from landing in the fire. "Master Rey, look!" squealed Mira, pointing at the crackling flames, and sat down with a plop, quite overwhelmed.

"Oh, this is lovely," said Rey, trying to take in the place all at once. A large shelf of real, paper-and-ink books rested on one wall along with a few holobooks. A few thick rugs covered the stone floor, and freshly cut flowers crammed into vases rested on almost every surface. Ara scrambled up onto a stuffed armchair to sniff one bouquet. 

"The children's rooms," Yori said, and marched to the left side, pushing open a door and exposing a hallway Rey barely registered, then opening another door into a room with three small white beds, thickly quilted. "Your wardrobes are coming shortly," she explained, and tapped the chest of drawers to the right of one of the beds. "They will be unpacked. The three youngest children will sleep here. The older girl and boy have their own rooms down the hall."

She led Rey to the other two rooms to show her—Tem's room was decorated in green and white, Ara's in blue and gold—then showed her the shared 'fresher for the children in the same hall, then walked her back out into the hall and through the doors to the main area, where the children were all sitting in front of the fire, staring at it in delight. The older woman took her into the kitchen, which was through an arch and down a few steps. There was a stone floor, a wide counter with five stools set up against it, a pantry, plenty of cooking utensils, a large fridge, a pantry, a sink, and everything else Rey could think of, along with a large door with a window that led out into the kitchen garden. "You will be provided with plenty of food. The pantry is already quite full. The children will likely feel safer eating here for a bit. In the event you wish to accompany Master Solo to a gubernatorial function after his inauguration, or in the event you wish to attend the ceremonies, I shall send someone or come myself to supervise them in your absence."

"Oh, _thank_ you," said Rey, feeling more exhausted than she had in weeks.

"Oh, and of course, your room." Yori led her back out of the kitchen and through a door, opening it onto a large, well-furnished bedroom with a carved, solid wood canopied bed. "You have an attached 'fresher."

"And where—" Rey bit her lip. "Erm, I assume Master Solo will be residing in Lord Mellowyn's old quarters?"

"Indeed," said Yori. "Very nice set of rooms, if I do say so. We are currently in the East Wing, and the governor's rooms are in the North Wing, same wing as the kitchens, but on the other side. Library and treasure room are in the West Wing. The Great Hall itself is in the dead center, the South Wing being mostly reception halls and public rooms."

"I might need a map," said Rey weakly.

"You can get from wing to wing unseen if you know how," Yori told her with a smile. "There's the servant's stairs and passages built into the walls, and there are much older passageways." She indicated the wall by Rey's bed. "That tapestry of the girl holding the flowers? Push it aside. Go up one flight, then left. Follow the passage no matter how it turns. Sixth door on the right."

Rey blinked. "I thought secret tunnels and things were made up."

"Well, it's a very old house," said Yori. "Legend has it that the first of the tunnels in the walls were built when the fourteenth governor of Birren took a lover and needed a way to smuggle him into the noble bedchambers. Old romances." She patted her hands together, as if to say, _that's that, all done._ "You get some sleep for now. I'm sure Master Solo is up to his ears in the first ritual, and he certainly won't be free before sunset. I'll make sure the little ones are fed."

"Thank you," Rey said fervently, and Yori smiled at her before shutting the door.

Rey turned to look at the room and really take it in. Four-poster, canopied bed hung with gauzy white curtains. Walls painted deep blue, the wall behind the bed covered in tapestries. Huge window, bowed outward in three parts and looking over the gardens—she could see the flat and blank windows of the governor's suite across the wide swatch of greenery. In front of the window, ensconced within its angles, was a large bench built into the wall, cushioned and blanketed. She had two chests of drawers and a wardrobe, all hand-carved wood—the wardrobe, upon further inspection, had a mirror inside along with several gowns she was too tired to look through.

The door to her private lavatory was also carved of wood, and when she pushed it open, it didn't make a sound. She had a deep tub, a shower, a wide sink stocked with twenty kinds of products, combs, brushes, and towels to last her for years in the standing linen cabinet. She wanted to take a bath, to get the grimy feeling of little sticky hands off her skin, but she was too tired.

Rey went back to the bed and collapsed face down on it, not even bothering to take her shoes off before she finally, finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is lovingly dedicated to KL, a Kylux shipper who attacked me, my husband, and about 5 other Rey/Kylo shippers nonstop for the past year and a half in the cosplay communities I run in and finally, finally blocked me on this truly blessed weekend. Jokes on you, because everyone in RCC reads my fics, you puckered halibut. I hope the remainder of your life is as lovely as you are!


	47. Questions For the Groom

Ben shut the wide, double doors to his rooms and leaned against them, finally allowing himself to breathe.

He felt like some other personage whose title he couldn't remember was going to materialize out of the paneling and accost him for yet another hour of droning oaths. Several deep breaths later, he forced himself to relax.

First there had been a lot of legal paperwork to trudge through with his entourage of nobles, notifying the Senate and the Chancellor that he had arrived on Birren with Rey and the kids, even though he wasn't really sure where they had been taken, and since the only answer he got was a polite _they have been seen to their rooms, my lord, now go ahead and sign this_ and he'd really been on the prolonged edge of a panic attack until Matron Yori Golstien had entered and done a little curtsy and told him that his charges and his colleague had been fed and put to rest in the East Wing, and he was at liberty to see them at his pleasure once the events of the day were done.

He really should give that woman a raise, or something, he reflected. He liked her. She reminded him of a governess, the old-fashioned type well-off nobles used to hire to tutor their children before the Holonet was invented and programs did all the educating.

Then as soon as the paperwork had all been wired off to the Senate for approval, there was a long string of nobles who were all introduced rapid-fire style to meet him and bow and curtsy and smile. Their names had been rattled off by Lord Dinys, one after the other, and Ben, who had not inherited his mother's ability to retain so much information and detail at a moment's notice, just nodded and smiled through aching cheeks.

After _that_ , there had been more rituals. He was handed an absolutely ancient sword and a cup, gold paint smeared onto his forehead and lip and chest, and pledged what he sensed was the first of many, many oaths to hold the royal seal and protect the name of his house, and an oath to never break faith in his title, and another oath to protect and defend the household. That took about three hours, and quickly afterward he was hustled off to change in someone's spare room for a state dinner, which was small and intimate by Birrenese standards—about fifty people, and of course the dinner lasted for two hours.

By the time Ben had finally been freed to go to bed, he was so tired and frazzled that he wanted to leap out the window. Every nerve ending was raw, a live circuit.

He took another slow breath and tapped the wall switch, illuminating his rooms.

All right. Not bad. The first room appeared to be, on one side, a sort of desk at which he supposed a secretary might sit. The other half was a receiving area, divided from the desk by an arch. It was rather plain, but with two comfortable sofas and a small table. The door at the far end was ajar, and Ben pushed through into the office, freshly cleaned and dusted of Lord Mellowyn's things, except for a stack of flimsiplasts on the wide desk that contained the previous governor's unfinished business. Ben silently groaned and stepped forward, the lights automatically brightening as he walked.

Beyond that was a larger door, locked with a bio-security pad. Ben let it scan his fingerprints and stepped through that door into a sitting room, or possibly a dressing room. There was an enormous closet and a wardrobe, a few seats, a vanity, and a mirror along one wall. He made a mental note to ask someone to redecorate it into any other color but the current garish purple and gold, and stepped through the last door into the bedroom.

Finally. This place was ridiculously complicated to navigate. Ben shrugged off his cloak and stretched luxuriously, joints popping as his unused muscles flexed. The lamps came up softly, and a sleepy voice from the bed said, "Mmm, Ben?"

"Rey?" Startled, he hurried over and pulled the curtain of his enormous bed back a little, illuminating tousled hair, sleepy eyes and a lightly freckled face, turned up to see him. "What are you d—how did you get in here?"

"Secret passage," she said, and stretched in her nest of silk and linen. "I slept all afternoon. I woke up and grabbed some food, then I decided I'd come down here. Yori said you were still at dinner, so I just waited. I must have fallen asleep again."

"Space lag will get you," he said. "Well, I stink, so I'm going to go take a shower."

"Your bathroom is enormous," she informed him, smiling. "I may have taken the liberty myself."

He stuck his tongue out at her and grinned, grabbing a dressing robe. "Won't be long."

Rey was right. The fresher was huge. The sunken marble tub could have fit four people, and it curved on one edge around a huge walk-in shower. He was gratified to see that, in spite of the age of the building and the room itself, the 'fresher contained a top-of-the-line body-drying vent and a towel heater, along with a control panel for the shower settings.  He stripped and dumped his dirty clothing into the wall hatch, where it would disappear down to the laundering room. Stepping into the shower, he noticed that the stone was already heated and warm to his feet.

Trying to navigate the control panel was a little overwhelming. He finally gave up and pressed a random button, and a gout of amber-jasmine scented foam sprayed from vents in the ceiling and drenched him in fragrance. Ben wiped off his hand and tried another one, which dumped a cascade of rosy bubbles into the shower, and a third, which he assumed must have been the right one, because hot water began to flood out of the mounted, meter-wide showerhead on the ceiling above him.

"About karking time," he grumbled, and rinsed off the foam and the bubbles before scrubbing through his hair and taking his time, letting the water loosen his taut muscles, relaxing them. He opened himself to the Force, and let it refresh him, smooth out the knot in his shoulders, flow through him.

Ben stood there for several minutes, head bowed in the water, before he stirred and turned it off, fumbling for the right button and pressing the dryer vent switch. Warm air blew out from another vent and dried him off, settling his hair into smooth waves.

He picked up the plum silk dressing robe and belted it around himself, brushed his teeth, then glanced over at the large, ornate mirror atop the sink, and gave himself a good, long look. After a moment, he arranged and patted down a lock of hair or two, and peered closely. Better. _She's probably half-awake anyway_ , he thought absently, and finger-combed the sides down a little flatter. After a cursory glance at his face, he dimmed the lights and opened the bathroom door, edging back out into the deep, cavernous bedroom.

Rey stirred, a bundle of silk on the far side of the bed, and raised her head. "Hey," she said, and propped herself up on her elbow, watching him. He hadn't noticed before that she wore only a white, gauzy nightdress. One bare leg lay on the outside of the plush silk covers, the lines of her muscles etched in black from the bathroom lamps. She'd discarded her robe somewhere on the other side of the room; he could see a draped shape along the back of a distant chair.

"Hey," he said, throat feeling a little dry, and untied his robe, suddenly very aware he was naked underneath. He wasn't sure whether to kiss her or not. She'd obviously wanted to see him, coming through the back passages, but—

"Here," she said, and patted the bed beside her. Ben slowly pulled the robe open and off his shoulders, letting it pool at his feet. He didn't miss the sharp little intake of breath as he stood, naked, illuminated from behind by the light.

Ben waited for a moment, then climbed up, settling himself on his right side and facing her. The bedroom was cool, and he slid under the sheets, shivering a little. "You're warm," he said, reaching out and pressing his hand to her waist.

Rey shrieked, muffled into the bedclothes, and wrenched away from him. "Freezing!"

He snorted and pulled her back as she giggled, pressing her back to his chest. "Got you," he said, feeling a little foolish. The soft weight of one small breast was heavy against his hand. Without really thinking, he let his fingers drift across her and up, diving down into the nightgown and cupping her breast with his left hand.

She sighed and arched back against him a little as his fingers moved, then jerked a little as he touched a sensitive spot. "That tickles!"

"Sorry," he said with a laugh, and sheepishly removed his hand. "I—"

Rey twisted around and kissed him, her warm mouth pressed to his. He moaned in spite of himself and clutched her close, his hand dipping down behind her waist and cupping the smooth, muscular curve of her behind, pulling her closer.

She climbed on top of him and yanked her nightgown off, and Ben reached up, traced the golden skin and the lines of muscle, the curves, the flat planes. He wanted her. He wanted her horribly.

Except his nether regions hadn't gotten the memo at all.

All right, maybe another try. She leaned forward, unconscious of his inner turmoil, and kissed him again, then moved to his cheek, then his ear. He squeaked, a very unmasculine noise, and bucked, ticklishly sensitive—but it hadn't had the desired effect whatsoever.

Ben groaned and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, as she pulled back a little and peered down at the inert flesh between his hips. "I'm just—I'm so tired."

"Oh—" Rey inched back a little, and he sensed her awkward embarrassment. "I'm sorry—"

"No, no," he said quickly, and sat up, reaching for her hands. "Please. Stay here." He looked away for a moment. "I—I'd rather have you with me either way."

"Oh," said Rey, and smiled. She slid down beside him and pressed herself close, one arm draped across his chest. "Pull the covers up, I'm freezing."

Ben smiled to himself and kissed her on the head as he sat up a little and yanked the silken bed cover over them both, settling down into the softness of the mattress and the warmth of her body. She sighed deeply, and he let himself drift off, lulled by her breathing.

~

The sound of the bedroom door opening jolted him into full wakefulness. Ben sat up so fast he barely had time to register the morning sunlight pouring through the window before a middle aged, thin woman and man he knew he had met the previous day, but could not remember the names of, marched in and set a steaming breakfast tray down on a large, carved table by the window.

"Good morning, my lord," said the woman, and her sharp eyes darted over towards the right side of the bed…

…where Rey was lying, perfectly still, the covers yanked up to her chin, the bit of visible face flushed crimson with embarrassment.

The woman glanced at the floor, where the filmy, discarded nightgown lay, and over at the chair, where the rose-colored robe Rey had worn hung draped over the back. She opened her mouth, closed it again, and said quite primly, "This… is _highly_ irregular."

Ben wanted to fling her out of the window. He sensed an underlying feeling of exasperation and disdain, but not all directed at him…"I'm told it was quite regular for Lord Mellowyn."

Which, of course he was bluffing, but his guess had been correct, and the woman—Matron Tuppi, he remembered suddenly—drew herself up a little. "Lord Mellowyn was the _governor._ You have not completed the rituals yet, my lord."

The man stepped forward, a tubby little groom in a neat dark uniform, as round as Tuppi was angular and hard. "What Matron Tuppi means, m'lord, is that by custom, the governor does not take…certain liberties with the, the staff of the house, or the women of Birren…until he has completed all rituals and is by Birrenese law the governor in all matters. And even then it's considered…dishonorable."

Tuppi nodded fervently and looked down at the bed, addressing Rey. "Get that thing off your face at once," she said sternly. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Dara? Are you Dara? Get up! You should have been in the kitchens hours ago!"

Ben fought the very, very strong urge to Force-strangle the pair of them, and got out of bed, not bothering with a robe. Both of them went quite as red as Rey and averted their eyes. He crossed to the floor, picked up his own dressing gown, walked to the other side of the bed, and handed it to Rey, then turned as she sat up, threw it on, and belted it tight, pushing her hair out of her face and holding the thing closed at her throat in a death-grip. "Look at me," he ordered, and the two of them turned, Tuppi recognizing Rey and gaping, the blood draining from her face. "This is not some girl I snatched out of the kitchen and enticed to my room. This is my _partner._ I killed for her. I nearly died to save her life, and she has torn herself apart to save mine."

"I—a thousand apologies—" the little groom began, then choked off when Ben held a finger up.

"We are bound by no law, that is true. That does not diminish the bond between us. I—" he glanced over at Rey, who was still very pink in the face and looking away—"I consider her the closest thing I may ever have to a spouse." Rey jerked her head around and gaped at him eyes filling with tears. He hurriedly looked away, back at the groom and matron. "If you would please bring up another breakfast tray, Matron. And when you return, _knock_."

Tuppi curtsied and hurried out like she couldn't wait to be anywhere else. The groom stayed, unsure of himself. "Shall I—shall I—"

"You shall tell me your name, because I have to tell you I completely forgot it," said Ben with a small smile.

The groom relaxed visibly. "Groom Lewyn, m'lord." He pronounced it "Lewn". "I oversee the governor's quarters, in the capacity of clothing and ceremonial upkeep, and I supervise two valets."

"Yes. Lewyn." Ben nodded. "Please go into my dressing room and find me something to wear for whatever's planned today. Take your time."

"Yes, m'lord." Lewyn bowed and left, and they could hear him going through drawers and opening doors.

"Spouse?" said Rey in a half-strangled voice, and Ben sat down on the bed, feeling very lightheaded. " _Spouse_?"

"Yes," he said firmly. "Every word of what I said was true. Every word of it."

"But—what do you mean _may ever have_?" Rey asked, scrubbing at her wet eyes with the expensive silk of the robe.

"I—" Ben stuttered. "I wouldn't ever ask—I mean, I'd be—you'd be trapped here."

"What?"

"I'm serving a ten year sentence, Rey. Did you forget, with all this?" He gestured at the opulent room. "This is a cage as much as any other. I can't go off-planet for a decade. I won't—I won't tie you to that. And I won't—you'd be a governor's wife, meaning you'd have to host parties and receive people and Force knows what else, on top of training the kids, and we don't even know what they might decide to do when they get older—stay here or go off on their own adventures. It's too uncertain. Wh—why are you crying?"

Rey gulped down a sob, her voice barely squeaking past her lips. "S-so if you—if—you'd—if you hadn't become th—the governor, you would—you'd—"

"What?" Ben gaped, and suddenly realized he had never even considered the issue. "No! I mean…you wouldn't want to—to get married to _me._ That's just ridiculous."

Stunned out of her tears, Rey jerked forward onto her knees. "Who in the galaxy do you think you _are,_ to tell me what _I_ would never want?!" Her face reddened as she kept shouting. "You don't know a _bloody thing_ about what I want!"

Ben stepped back a healthy distance, and covered his crotch as an afterthought. "How am I supposed to know what you want? D'you _want_ me to read your mind?"

"No, I don't want you to read my mind!" Rey shouted. "I want you to _think_ for two seconds, you thick-headed—"

A loud knock on the door interrupted, and Rey's stomach growled. Ben snatched up another dressing gown and belted it quickly. "Come in," he called.

Tuppi bustled in with another tray full of breakfast things. "My lord," she said quickly, eyes down, and set it on the table with the other tray. She turned and addressed Ben. "Your presence will be required in the Outer Hall in an hour. Lewyn will accompany you."

"Thank you." Ben didn’t relish the idea of yet another day of rituals, even though he knew the next two weeks would be full of them. "You're dismissed."

She curtsied and left. Ben turned around. Rey was still red in the face, eyes swollen and wet. "We can, um, shelve that discussion for now," he said awkwardly. "Will you join me for breakfast?"

She sniffed and nodded, sliding out of the bed and padding over to the table. The smell drifting from under the cover was delicious. "Don't think you can distract me with food," she warned, and lifted the cover. "I won't—ooh, are those flapcakes?"

Ben wisely said nothing and sat down at the other chair, and they spent an agreeable twenty minutes sitting together in the sunlight, eating flapcakes and drinking hot caf.

Just as they finished eating, Lewyn popped back through the door. "M'lord," he said, and indicated the dressing room.

Ben wiped his mouth with a napkin and stood up. "I'll see you later," he said to Rey, and turned, disappearing into the recesses of the chamber with the groom.


	48. Mirrorbright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emergency Author's Note: While I'm not shaming anyone at all for their kinks, "daddy kink" is a massive squick for me personally, and I would really prefer not seeing it in the comments, especially when it's mentioned that a scene with a literal child in it is "kinky". That is absolutely not acceptable. Thank you.

The next two weeks passed surprisingly quickly. Rey focused on getting the kids onto a regular schedule; up early and in bed early, breakfast in the morning, classical education from eight to noon, lunch, then Jedi training in the park behind the Hall from one to four, then dinner at five. She was pleased at how quickly they had caught on—Ara and Tem could already read a few words in Aurebesh, and the little ones knew a few letters; but by the end of the first week Ara was carefully scrawling out sentences and notes around the apartment, Tem was writing out labels for everything in the place and forever asking Rey how to spell things, and the younger ones were reading out loud, albeit very slowly, to themselves.

More than anything, Rey was thankful for the endless army of matrons and maids who appeared at a moment's notice to assist with the children. They had clearly had experience with young ones that Rey lacked, and she was more than happy to let them take over in such situations as called for it—like when Tem got himself trapped under the kitchen counter, or Mira got nut-butter stuck in her hair.

Rey's schedule didn't allow her to go sneak out and see Ben, and by the end of the day she was usually too tired for the long, dark trek through the walls to his room. He never came to her, and she tried to tamp down her own uneasiness at this fact, especially after the nature of their last conversation. She sometimes crept out to the main hall and peered down from the galleries to look at the rituals being conducted, feeling very like a spy or an outsider.

The night before the final ritual, the ceremony she caught a glimpse of was some sort of bath, and she watched in fascination as Ben sat in a steaming tub of hot water in the middle of the floor surrounded by various personages who all came forward ponderously, one by one, and poured things on his head as he remained perfectly still and quiet. Not knowing whether to giggle or be embarrassed, she quickly fled the scene—but not before she sensed his sudden, acute awareness of her in the room.

That was the night he finally came to the apartments.

~

It was a dim, wet evening, and Rey was walking through the gloom of the darkened apartment to the kitchen for a hot drink when she heard soft voices coming from the little ones' room. Curious, she tiptoed silently down the hall and to the door, which was slightly ajar, and put her eye to the crack.

Ben, his hair loose and still damp, wearing a sleeveless, floor length robe over a burgundy and black tunic and trousers, was sitting on U'yi's bed, and U'yi was sitting on Ben's lap, head tucked into the crook of his neck, one thumb planted in his mouth, both eyes almost shut, and Ben...Ben was singing.

Rey went perfectly still and listened to the words of the lullaby.

 _Mirrorbright, shines the moon,_  
                _its glow as soft as an ember_  
_When the moon is mirrorbright_  
_take this time to remember_  
_Those you have loved but are gone_  
_Those who kept you safe and warm_  
_The mirrorbright moon lets you see_  
_Those who have ceased to be…_

Emotion welled up in Rey's throat and threatened to spill tears down her face. The melody was simple, easy to sing and remember. Rain pattered on the windows, and one tiny nightlamp illuminated the space, casting shadows on their faces. Ben had a good voice, rich and warm with a bit of hoarseness to it, but he was on pitch and had a good ear for timing. Rey closed her eyes and listened.

                _Mirrorbright, shines the moon,_  
                _as fires die to their embers_  
_Those you loved are with you still—_  
_The moon will help you remember._

U'yi was fast asleep by the time the lullaby was over. Ben gently disentangled him and laid him down in the little bed, pulling the covers up to his neck and dimming the nightlamp. He stood up and headed for the door silently.

Rey took a few steps back, unsure of what to do, before he opened it, nodded at her, and closed it behind him gently. "Evening," he murmured.

"Did he have another bad dream?" she asked.

"Yes." Lightning flashed outside, illuminating his face for a stark second, and Rey saw that his eyes and cheeks were wet.

"Let's go to the kitchen," she said softly. "Not the one here, the big kitchen. I think we both could use a cup of hot chocolate."

Thunder rumbled distantly and he stepped forward. "All right," he said quietly, and she tucked her hand into his elbow.

~

The Big Kitchen, as Rey referred to it, was absolutely cavernous. The stove range was bigger than her bed, the counter was large enough to hold an aurochs, and the oven was practically walk-in. The night cook was in the middle of finishing preparing tomorrow's meals, but she flagged down a kitchenmaid who made them a large, foamy pitcher of rich hot chocolate and fetched two ceramic mugs, then tucked them up in a corner at a great wooden table that was apparently where the kitchen staff ate before dashing back off to her business.

Rey had only been in here a few times, but she liked it very much. The whole place was spotlessly clean, warm, bright, and airy. The rain pattered against the bay window by the table, but in the kitchen, lit by the warm glow of the bright lights, it sounded cozy, not gloomy.

Ben sipped at his chocolate and looked at the table. Rey pulled her feet up and leaned against him, sipping hers. Neither of them spoke for a while.

"I'm glad at least one of us knows a lullaby," said Rey finally, breaking the silence. "Dax wanted me to sing to him the night before we left Coruscant and I didn't know a single one."

Ben didn't say anything, just finished his chocolate and looked out the window.

Rey tried again. "It was very nice. You have—you have a good voice."

"I don't want to _talk_ about it," he said, in a low, firm growl that edged very close to Kylo Ren. She physically jerked away, putting about six inches between them, and didn't say a word. Discomfort rolled off him like a cloud of mist in the Force, and Rey blocked it out. She didn't want to feel his distress. He didn't have a bloody right to be distressed, not when she'd been wrangling children for two weeks and collapsing into bed at night and he didn't even bother _visiting_ unless it was for the kids, especially after he'd dropped the _spouse_ thing on her like a ton of bricks and then refused to bring it up.

"Fine, then _don't_ ," she snapped. "Just bottle it all up, whatever it is, and sit on it for another five years. I'm sure that's a very healthy way to handle things."

The cook and the four maids exchanged looks and very slowly slid out of the kitchen, shutting the door unobtrusively behind them.

"Oh, like you don't bottle things up," he said angrily. "You've been haunting the damn Hall for two weeks just trying to get a look at me, but Force forbid you ever come to my rooms and have a _chat_."

Rey flushed crimson with anger and embarrassment. "You—I—I do not _haunt_ anything!"

"Oh, yes you do," Ben snapped, standing and looming over her. "You can't stay away from me."

"I—I—" Rey spluttered, furious. "You're the one who practically asked me to marry you and then didn't bother talking to me for weeks about it! How was I supposed to act?"

"You were supposed to come and talk to me about it!"

"How was I supposed to know that?"

It was Ben's turn to splutter and turn red. "You—that's—you –"

Rey clutched her robe around her shoulders and glared at him. "I'm going to bed. If you're so upset at me checking out the ceremonies, I won't come to the inauguration, and we'll both be perfectly happy." She whirled around to stomp out of the kitchen.

"Rey!" Ben snapped, and lunged at her. She made it about two more steps before he grabbed her by the arm and firmly turned her to face him. "What—" She could see the struggle on his face, and fought the urge to headbutt him in the nose. "What is _wrong_?" There was no anger in his eyes, only frustration.

She couldn't speak. She wanted to scream at him, to cry, to kick him, to tell him every single thing that had gone wrong in the past two weeks. She wanted to fight him most of all.

So she did the only thing she could think of. She gripped him by the collar, stood on her toes, and kissed him.

Ben let go of her arm almost instantly, and both hands found her back, heat soaking through her nightgown and into her skin. Rey kissed him harder, backing both of them up against the table, till Ben put one hand on it for support and broke away. "Rey," he gasped, still gripping the small of her back with his free hand. "Hey. Rey."

"Shut up, just shut up," she panted, fumbling with his shirt as she frantically kissed him again. His teeth found her bottom lip and nipped at her before he broke it again and grabbed at her hands.

"Are you planning to ravish me on the table?" he asked. "I don't think the staff would appreciate that."

Rey groaned and shoved at his immovable body, planted firmly on the edge of the table. He did not budge, a frustrating reminder of precisely how solid he was, and how small in comparison she was. "Please," she begged, feeling like an idiot. 

"Not like this," he said. "Let's talk. We can go up to my rooms, if you like, but let's talk."

"Fine," Rey said. "I think we've both misunderstood each other. You wanted me to come to you, I wanted you to come to me, but both of us just expected the other to know."

"I'm sorry I haven't been able to come see you," he said. "It's exhausting doing all this stuff every day."

"And I...I didn't think about that, and I'm sorry," Rey admitted, sighing. "It will be better after all these ceremonies are done."

 "We're not very good at fighting, are we?" he asked after a moment.

She snorted. "No. But our conflict resolution is getting better."

He did laugh at that, then kissed her on the cheek. "Let's go to bed."

Rey grinned. "You said something about your rooms," she reminded him, and he smiled.

"I did. Come on, then."

~

Once the doors to his suite shut behind them, Ben picked Rey up and carried her to the bed, depositing her there and climbing atop her. "I don't like fighting with you," he breathed, and untied the front closure of her nightgown.

"I don't like fighting with you, either," she whispered, and sighed as his hand traced lightly across her nipple. "I'm sorry I shouted."

"Me, too," he said, and kissed her neck, her cheek, her mouth. She rolled over on top of him and yanked his shirt off over his head, letting her hands find every line, every plane of muscle, every scar. He let her touch him, his eyes half-closed. "Mmm," he said softly.

Rey tugged his loose trousers down and wrapped her hand around his swollen dick, her fingers unable to meet. "Tell me how to do it," she whispered, and Ben swallowed, his throat moving.

"You need—" he managed, and pulled out a small container from a compartment in the headboard of what turned out to be slick lubricant, the label advertising it as compatible with over 400 species. "This," he said, and she slicked her palm, then moved her fist up and down.

"Like that?" she asked, a little unsure.

"I—" Ben's left hand was a knot of muscle and bone, gripping the covers. "Yes. Just—" He gripped her hand with his right, setting her a pace, and let his hand fall as she continued. "Don't stop until I tell you to," he panted, his voice gone up an octave. "Don't—don't stop—"

"I won't," Rey promised, and let her other hand play at his chest, stroke at his nipples lightly until they stood up and a deep flush spread across his torso. She could sense his oncoming climax, and gently pulled just a little harder, twisting at the top before pushing back down to the base.

Ben let out a deep, torn moan from somewhere deep in his chest and his hips jerked forward to meet her hand as she repeated the motion. "Rey," he rasped.

"Now who's the tease?" she said lightly, and pulled her nightgown off her shoulder, exposing her left breast. Ben's right hand darted up as if caught by an electromagnet, and cupped her, squeezing gently.

"Kriffing—hells, Rey, I can't—" He voice choked off as he thrust upward into her fist. "I—c—nnghh, _Rey—_ "

"Tell me when to stop," she whispered, and it only took about five more strokes until every muscle in his body was taut, both hands tangled in her nightgown.

"S— _stop_ ," Ben hissed frantically, and she let go, gripping his upper arms as he curled forward and groaned in a desperate bid to cut off his own orgasm. He let out a string of harsh sounds, clutching her by the shoulders, until his frayed nerves relaxed and he let go, leaning back on his elbows and breathing heavily.

"Up for round two?" Rey asked, sliding off the bed. He looked up just in time to see her untie the neck of her nightgown and the whole thing fell to the ground in a filmy billow of thin gauze. His eyes narrowed, and a tingle went up the back of her neck.

"Come here," he demanded.

"I don't think so," she said, grinning. "I think I'll stand right here and let you just look." Ben sat up and swung his legs off the bed as she backed up in mock-fear. "Ooh, Supreme Leader, don't drag me off to the dungeons and ravish me!"

He lunged for her and she darted away, giggling, until she got trapped between the table and the window and he caught her by the arm and yanked her up against his chest, skin to skin. "You have no idea what was going through my head the day I brought you to Starkiller," he murmured.

Rey pressed her hands to his broad chest. "Tell me," she whispered.

Ben closed his eyes and worked his hands down, stroking over her bare back. "I wanted to find out everything about you. Why BB-8 showed you the map. And I wanted—" he paused, his hands still on her lower back. "I sat on that floor for half an hour, waiting for you to wake up. I thought if I was gentler with you than I was with Dameron, you'd give me what I wanted. The map. I knew I could take it, but I didn't want to hurt you. And I imagined—" he cleared his throat, obviously a little uncomfortable—"I imagined what it would be like to—to touch you. I wanted to, alone in that room. But you were restrained. It wouldn't have been right. So I didn't. And you woke up and hated me. Feared me. But when I took the mask off—"

"I know what you sensed me thinking when you took the mask off," said Rey, blushing.

"Well, take a layer off a monster and see what's beneath," he said softly. "When you saw my face, the fear went, but the hate remained. When you saw my body, the hate went, and you began to trust me. Strip down a monster, layer by layer, and you find the person inside."

"You're not a monster," she said, and pressed her cheek to the base of his throat.

"Not anymore," murmured Ben, and kissed the top of her head. "Not anymore."

"No," she agreed, and kissed his collarbone. "So now that you have me in your clutches, what are you planning to do with me?"

Ben chuckled. "Hmm. I could think of several things." He shifted, his cock still hard, trapped between their bodies. "The question, my lady, is what you want me to do."

Rey reached up and tangled her fingers into his dark hair, pulling just hard enough to elicit a soft groan from him. "Tell you what. You pick, and if I don't like it, I'll bite your ear."

Ben spluttered, and picked her up in one smooth movement before dumping her on the bed in a tumble of silk and velvet as she squealed in mock-terror. "You really are the worst," he informed her, straddling her knees and pinning both her wrists with one hand. His other hand began to stroke at the crux of her legs, and she gasped a little, hips bucking. "In fact, I think you might deserve a good teasing. Fair's fair."

"Oh, kriff," she said through gritted teeth. Heat was rushing to her nether regions, her flesh warming and wetting and opening to his touch. "I really hate you sometimes."

"No, you don't," he said smugly, and bent down, mouth drifting across the front.

Rey let out a shriek and jerked up into his face, only to be pushed down by his free hand and pinned there. She looked down, biting hard on her lip, and saw his lips open, press to her flesh. " _Ben!_ " she squeaked, and felt his tongue dart out, moving here and there and _ohhh, just there_ , and she jerked slightly, making truly awful noises. "Don't stop, don't stop," she begged, her toes curling as he continued. "Please, _please—_ " She was so close, so close again. She resolved not to say a single word, not to betray herself, maybe he would misjudge and she could—

Just as she was cresting, he stopped abruptly, lifting his mouth, both of her hands still pinned. "No!" she demanded, wriggling in desperation to get off. "No, dammit, _dammit_ , you karking _asshole—_ "

"Patience," he said, and she tried to kick him in frustration before an unseen force pushed both her legs down to the bed, perfectly flat and comfortable, but immovable.

"Are you—you can't use the kriffing Force on me, you—you—" Rey struggled in vain, both horribly aroused and frustrated at the loss of her orgasm. "—Cheater! Let me go!"

His hair hung plastered across his forehead with sweat, and his lips were shining and wet, and he was still grinning at her. "Cheater, is it?" His dick still hung, thick and swollen and reddened at the tip, between his legs, pointing right at her.

Rey ignored him and reached out mentally for the Force, then sought out his organs, his internal workings. There was the sexual reproductive system, there were the testes—she thought for a second about squeezing them, but reflected that wouldn't be good for future uses—and further up, nestled near the back end, just beneath his bladder, an organ, rather small, wrapped around the urethra.

She gathered the Force and _pressed_.

Several things happened at once. First, the pressure on her legs immediately lifted, and she was free to move. Secondly, Ben went white as a sheet and his hips thrust forward. Thirdly, he choked out a desperate, high-pitched sound as little spurts of milky fluid shot out of the tip of his cock, mostly staining Rey's right thigh and the bedsheets.

"That's what I thought," Rey said, quite complacent as Ben helplessly jerked a few more times, unable to stop the climax before it petered out and he slumped to the side, panting.

"Come _here_ ," he growled, when he could speak again, and she wrapped her legs around him, yanked him in and kissed him. A few more small pushes with the Force and he was hard as a rock again, pushing her down on her stomach into the bed and thrusting into her. "Rey, kark, you're wet—"

Rey moaned in answer, reveling in the stretch and the sensation of fullness. This position was good, she was able to rub against the sheets beneath her. "Keep going," she whispered. "Keep going, don't stop."

He pressed his mouth to her cheek and kept going, a steady pace. She could sense his thighs trembling already from the effort, the Force pushing him past what a normal man was capable of. His lips found her ear. "I want you to come," he growled. "Do it."

Rey gripped the cushions, just about to climax, and screamed into the pillow as everything crashed down and her whole body shook with the effort. Behind her, Ben drove in and gripped her tight as his own climax hit again for the second time, just behind hers, this one dry for lack of refraction.

Slowly, the pair of them relaxed, breathing evening out. "You're sweating," Rey said sleepily.

"Hard work," he said, and kissed her shoulder before rolling off her. "Where the hell did you learn that trick with the Force?"

"I didn't," she said. "I just…pushed the button that seemed right."

Ben snorted. "You all right?"

"Mmm," she said distantly, eyes drifting shut.

"Big day tomorrow." He rolled over a little and drew a blanket up around her shoulders, kissing her on the forehead and humming the tune to the lullaby he'd been singing earlier.

She realized she had forgotten to ask him where it came from, but sleep was fast approaching. _I'll ask tomorrow,_ she thought, and drifted away into dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All credit for the lyrics to "Mirrorbright" goes to Claudia Gray and her excellent novel, Bloodline, which I highly recommend. If you haven't read it, I won't spoil the trivia behind it...YET.


	49. Morning Preparations

The morning dawned bright and clear and cold, the sky streaked with pink and lavender. Rey woke up early and stole out of the chambers before Ben was awake, sneaking in a kiss on his forehead before slipping into the hidden passage.

It was a chilly walk back to her apartments, but when she got back to her bedroom it was warm and cozy, a fire burning brightly in the round hearth. She sat in front of it and tried to relax, but she was too nervous about the inauguration. _Deep breaths,_ she told herself. Slowly, the Force seeped into her body, centering her and calming her heartbeat, and she was grateful for it.

Matron Yori bustled in a few minutes later. "Ah, you're up," she said, glancing at the pristine, un-slept-in bed. "Breakfast is served in the kitchen, and afterward we shall get the little ones dressed for the ceremony. You also will be receiving some guests in the great room at nine, so you will change your clothes for that, then again for the ceremony."

"What time does the ceremony begin?" asked Rey.

"Noon, precisely," said Yori. She turned and opened the enormous wardrobe, freshly stocked with sensible clothing in dark colors, and began to sort through it, hangers swishing and clicking on the rod. "I ordered our Mistress of Robes to set you up with some fine gowns. Not many," she amended, seeing the look on Rey's face, "only enough to perhaps, attend a few parties with the governor. I told her to prioritize comfort and ease of movement."

"Well, that's good, at least," said Rey. She stood up, stretching. "And what will I be wearing to receive my guests?"

"This, I think," said Yori, and pulled out a long, white velvet dress that was close-fitting in the sleeves and had a modest neckline. Rey turned the fabric from side to side, and saw there was a pattern imprinted or burned into the velvet, the crushed-down pile glimmering pale green. "I thought it seasonally fitting. And this over it." She handed Rey a coat, the same spring green color as the velvet burnout, close-fitting to the body and cut to flatter a small waist, lined with a downy soft fur at the high collar and the wrists. "Don't change until we get the children dressed. I am expecting some resistance."

Rey chuckled and reached for a more sensible ensemble, a high-collared brown, sleeveless shirt and a pair of tan pants, with her favorite new boots, cream-colored leather with quiet soles. "Let's go wrangle them into looking nice, then," she said.

~

Surprisingly, only Dax and Ara put up a resistance to changing into "fancy clothes", a struggle which ended in Ara inexplicably bursting into tears and Dax kicking Yori in her ample stomach. Yori gave up and sat behind Mira, combing the little girl's jet-black hair and braiding it into two neat buns, while Rey sat Dax in a chair for a five minute cool-down and fastened him there with a deadly glare.

"All right, Ara," she said, sitting cross-legged in front of the sobbing nine-year-old. "What's wrong?"

"I can't change my clothes," Ara said, sniffling. "My—if—if—I can't!"

Rey was struck with a sudden memory of her own refusal, at age six, probably, to change her three-bun hairstyle— _my mama and papa won't know who I am if I take it it down—_ and the ensuing slaps she got from the wizened old woman who had been charged with her care. If you could call what Unkar Plutt did _care._

"Ara," she said gently. "Are you afraid that if you wear nice clothes… someone won't know who you are?"

A quick, frightened nod answered that question.

"Arashell," Rey said, tugging gently at her hair, "with hair like this nobody will forget who you are. You think clothes will change that?"

A small, choked giggle, and then another sniff, emanated from beneath Ara's bowed head. "It's stupid," she said, ashamed.

"No, it's not stupid." Rey cupped her face. "I didn't change my hair for nineteen years because I was afraid if my parents came back for me they wouldn't know me. It takes time, sometimes."

"Oh," said Ara.

"How about this. We try on the dress—Dax, don't you dare get out of that chair yet—and you can see if you think you look any different. Okay?"

"Okay." Ara wiped her nose.

Tem swaggered around in his new clothes, a clean white silk shirt and black velvet vest with soft suede pants and boots. "Master Rey, can I sit up front so I can see everything?"

"We'll be seated close," she promised. "Ara, you go get your nice dress and I'll help you into it if you need it." Ara hurried off to her room, and Rey turned to Dax, who had a face like a thundercloud, slumped down in his seat. "All right, you," she said. "We don't kick people."

"I don't wanna wear fancy clothes!" he shouted.

"Why not?" asked Rey, arms crossed.

"Itchy! And Matron says I can't take Tata!" His lower lip quivered, nose and eyes all purple with tears.

"You can take Tata if you promise to behave. The clothes are not itchy. Have you even tried them on yet?" Rey picked up the discarded bronze velvet tunic and the soft shirt. "It's soft. See, feel it."

Dax reached out his hand and touched the fabric as if he suspected it might bite him. "Oh," he said.

"Now, you shouldn't have kicked Matron. You hurt her, and you must apologize." Rey raised an eyebrow.

The little boy looked over at Matron Yori. "I'm sorry, Matron," he said, abashed.

"Very well done, Dax," she said cheerfully. "Apology accepted."

Ara came back down the hall and stood straight as a rod in front of Rey. "How is it?" she asked nervously. Her dress just brushed the tops of her satin slippers, consisting of a pleated silk underdress with long, fitted sleeves in a lovely deep blue, an over-dress in lighter blue velvet with short, puffed sleeves that was a little shorter than the underdress, and a little bodice sort of thing that laced up the back, made of sturdy black silk.

"Oh, you look very lovely!" said Yori, patting Mira as she slid off her lap. "Come here, child, and let me comb your hair."

"You'll pull it," said Ara anxiously.

"Nonsense. I have a comb for hair like yours." Yori pulled the wide-toothed comb out of one of her many concealed pockets, along with a bottle of something else. "I think we should put an ornament or two in your hair. You're very nearly grown, it would be appropriate."

Ara's eyes widened in delight. "Can I choose them?"

"Of course. Not too large, mind you." Yori reached into another pocket and pulled out several enameled pins, baubles, ribbons, and other small decorative items. Ara hurried over as fast as she could and pored over them.

Rey got Dax into his good clothes and settled his leather lekku-strap over his ears and forehead. He was outgrowing it, she thought, looking at the cracks and the splits in the thing, and made a mental note to have someone replace it. "Shoes," she said, and Dax obediently shoved his feet at her while she wrestled the things on. "Matron, where did Mira go? And where's U'yi?"

"Mira!" called Yori, and the little girl appeared from where she had been ensconced in a large chair by the fire. "What are you doing?"

"Flowers!" she shouted, and Rey leaped up, only to find that Mia had pulled all the flowers out of the vase by the chair, and shoved them down the front of her brand new dress. "Pretty!"

"Oh, holy Force," groaned Rey, picking up the delighted girl. "Dax, sit down and don't move until someone tells you to do something."

Matron Tuppi appeared. "Madame Rey," she said, curtseying. "It's nearly eight-thirty, and your guests will be arriving at nine sharp."

"Yes, I've got to change. I—can you please change Mira into something clean?" Rey shoved the giggling Zabrak girl into Tuppi's bony arms. "And someone please find U'yi before he gets into the kitchen and figures out how to burn the apartment down."

"Found him!" called a maid, who appeared out of the hallway, balancing U'yi on her hip. "He was hiding under the bed." The little boy's thumb was planted in his mouth, and he looked like he had been crying.

Rey rushed over and met her halfway, feeling like she was being pulled in 4 different directions. "U'yi, I'll be directly back as soon as I can, and then we'll go see Master Ben, all right?"

That perked him up. "See Papa?" he said brightly.

Rey felt as if she'd been punched in the gut. Like her lungs had been replaced with a couple of black holes. A child of few words, U'yi was, and with only two he'd managed to make her feel absolutely awful. She opened her mouth to say _no, U'yi, Master Ben isn't your papa, remember?_ but then thought better of it, not wanting a tantrum on her hands—but—

Ara piped up from where she was planted on Yori's knees. "U'yi, where is your nice jacket?"

U'yi straightened, his non-verbal way of signaling he wanted to be let down. The maid obliged, and he hurried over to the sofa, lifting up a cushion. There, underneath the stuffed seat, rested his tunic, pants, shoes, jacket, and shirt. "Saved them," he told Ara, and popped his thumb back in his mouth.

Yori finished with Ara's hair and patted her shoulder. "Why don't you go with Madame Rey and help her with her greeting clothes?" she asked. "I'll get U'yi dressed."

Ara beamed. "Yes!" she said, and bounced over to Rey.

"All right," said Rey, already feeling exhausted. "You all behave. Tem, do _not_ put that flower into the fireplace!"

~

"Does it fit?" Ara's voice asked, floating over the partition behind which Rey was shrugging on the coat.

"Yes, very well, actually," said Rey, and stepped out. "Okay. How do I look?"

Ara clasped both hands to her heart and fell sideways onto the bed. "Like a _princess_!"

Rey laughed. "Watch out for your hair!" Ara sat up and patted her curls worriedly as Rey moved to the mirror.

 _Well. Would you believe it?_ She turned this way and that. The coat fitted her perfectly, snug but not tight, the downy fur on the wrists just brushing the heels of her hands. At the bottom, past the silver clasp, the coat curved away around her legs, exposing the white velvet with the green shimmer. "It's very pretty," she said.

There was a knock on the door, and another maid came in and curtsied, wearing the pale yellow uniform of someone under the jurisdiction of the Wardrobe Mistress. "I've come to do your hair, Madame," she said.

"Oh, thank you." Rey moved to her vanity and sat as the maid set down a box of combs. "I think up, to show off the collar."

"Oh, yes," said the maid warmly, and began to comb Rey's hair. "You have an eye for fashion, Madame."

"I had a good teacher," said Rey, thinking wistfully of BU-T6. "Ara, come around here and show me what Yori did with your hair."

Ara bounced off the bed and stood in front of Rey. Her wildly curly, frizzy red hair had been detangled and smoothed into long coiled locks, several pieces at the front pulled back and twisted into a bun. She'd picked ribboned pins as her hair ornaments, and two mother-of-pearl flowers rested on either side of the bun, light blue ribbons curling down into her locks. "Does it look nice?" she asked.

"Very nice. You look very grown up." Rey smiled. "Oh, I need shoes for the guest receiving. Will you fetch the light green shoes? They have a tiny heel and they're satin."

Ara nodded, quite excited to be involved, and dug the said shoes out from the wardrobe drawers. Rey got them on her feet with a little wiggling, and waited as the maid finished her hair.

The end result was a pulled-back style, her hair coiled into a shaped knot at the back of her head, bound by a woven cloth-of-silver and white silk band. Two clipped-on silver earrings like smooth, large teardrops, and a smattering of makeup, and Rey was ready to receive her guests.

"It's nine," said Ara. "Can I come with you?"

"I think that should be all right." Rey stood and thanked the maid, who curtsied and scuttled right back out, and they both walked out to the main room, which had magically been cleared of children and matrons in the twenty minutes it had taken Rey to change.

"Madame," said a groom, and indicated the sofa. "The children have been removed to the kitchens for the present. Shall I announce your guests?"

"Yes, please," said Rey. "Ara will sit quietly with me, if that's all right."

"Of course." The groom waited until she was sitting on the sofa before clearing his throat. Rey went through the protocol in her mind for official presentations—sit, announce, stand, bow your head, don't curtsy—and then he was shouting, "Presenting! His Lordship the Duke of Chaltum!"

Rey fixed a smile on her face and rose as the Duke entered. She remembered him from the initial landing party, and didn't much care for his enormous red nose or his blustering personality. He had initially mistaken Rey for a crew member, and that had rankled a bit. "Welcome, my lord," she said, and nodded her head.

"Madame," he said, and pressed his hand to his heart. "You look very well on this most auspicious day—I say, is this your daughter?"

Ara stood up and affected the most dignified air she could. "I'm one of her students, my lord," she said primly.

"My mistake, my mistake!" He laughed, a deep belly chuckle. "And what is your name?"

"Arashell," she said, and curtsied.

"Well, Mistress Arashell and Madame Rey. I congratulate you both and express my love for the new Governor of Birren by these presents." He waved, and a groom followed in, opening a chest full of ingots of precious metal.

"Oh, goodness," said Rey faintly.

"And for the young Jedi," he said warmly, and pulled a paper-wrapped candy out of his pocket, handing it to Ara. Her eyes lit up, and he addressed Rey. "Many of us are most honored that you chose Birren as the home of the new Jedi Academy," he said. "You will receive many gifts today, to go toward the children when they are older, and to aid in their welfare. I should be prepared, most of us have tried to outdo each other, in true noble fashion."

"I—" Rey was aghast. "I can't possibly accept—"

"Oh, yes you can, my lady," said the Duke, eyes twinkling. "Consider it a fair warning. I shall see you both at the inaugural ceremony." He bowed, winked at Ara, and left.

"Don't eat that, save it for later," Rey said automatically as Ara turned the sweet over in her hands. "You'll get sticky."

"I like him!" Ara said, slipping the candy into her pocket.

"I think it's a good idea having you here," said Rey as she sat back down. "It's like having a magic spell to bring out the best of people."

"Then I'll stay here the whole time," said Ara. "You need the best of people."

"True," Rey admitted. "Groom—erm, Mylo? Will you please put the chest away for safekeeping? And stay close by, we're going to need your help."


	50. Inauguration Day

In the end, she received almost forty members of the Noble Houses in less than two hours, and received a wide variety of gifts. There was the ancient Lady Mellowyn, nearly 99 years old (no relation, strangely, to the previous Lord Mellowyn) who was confined to a hover-seat and who presented Rey with five large, precious gemstone-and-electrum sculptures to symbolize the five children. There was the aristocratic and dashing Earl of Cymburn, who had apparently come to make some sort of alliance with Rey, but saw Ara sitting on the sofa and backed out after presenting Rey with a large bolt of white shimmersilk. There was the Duchess of Yynchystyr, a billowingly enormous woman with a flair for pink and purple, two small yapping akk dogs at her heels, who presented Rey with an alabaster box of Corusca gems.

But the most precious gift came from Yu Lee Ekki, an elderly lord wth a long white beard and robed in yellow, who presented Rey with a dusty old wooden box containing ten kyber crystals. "Use them wisely and well," he told her. He would not tell her where he got them, only smiled and bowed and left, hobbling on his cane and leaving Rey astonished and nearly in tears at the gesture.

At the very end, the groom opened the doors without announcing the guest, and Rey leaped out of her seat when Finn, Rose, and Poe walked in, dressed in their formal military best. "Finn! Poe! Rose!" she shrieked in delight, and hugged them all at once, so excited she could barely contain herself.

"You're going to tear your coat," Rose laughed, half-smothered under Rey's arm.

"Oh, I don't care. How are you all? What's happening? What have I missed? How are you even here?" Rey held Finn at arm's length and beamed.

"Well, we got forty-eight hours of leave to come to the inauguration," said Poe. "I'm still just Captain, General D'Acy is doing a fine job at being General, and we've flushed out a few pockets of First Order sympathizers on Nar Shadda."

"And we're doing fine," said Finn, smiling widely. "Rose and I—we're, um, well—"

"We're getting _married_ ," said Rose, smiling in delight and showing Rey a small, tasteful ring of Hazian smelt on her left hand. "We're planning to do the ceremony in a few months on Coruscant, then move to our stations on one of the command ships."

"Chewbacca has the Falcon, and he's off doing his own thing. Oh, and Rose got promoted to Chief Engineer on the _Organa_ ," said Poe. "Wait, I think you already knew that. I can't keep anything straight."

"The space lag is a nightmare," said Rey, laughing. "Oh, let me introduce—Arashell?"

Ara drew closer to Finn and Rose, her mouth wide open. "I know you," she said, her mouth as round as her eyes. "You were on Cantonica. You came to the stables and you gave Tem a ring."

"Holy Force," said Rose, equally as shocked. "The little boy who let the fathers out? You worked in the stables!"

Rey looked from child to adult. "You met them in Canto Bight?"

"Did we _ever_ ," said Finn. "Is—the other two boys? Are they—?"

"Just Tem," said Ara. "The First Order didn't take Oni, just us. We had the Force."

"Oh, Force," said Finn, looking ashen. "He's still stuck there?"

"Tem!" called Rey. "Someone to see you!"

The kitchen door opened and Tem came out, then stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Rose and Finn. "The Resistance!" he shrieked, and began to jump up and down in hysterics before he barreled straight into Rose's arms and began to cry. "They took the ring," he sobbed. "I thought if I kept it you'd come back and then they took it and I pushed him into the wall and I thought you'd never come back but you came _back_."

Ara stared at him with her mouth wide open, never having seen such an emotional display from her friend. Finn crouched down and patted the sobbing boy on the back. "Hey, now," he said gently. "Deep breaths."

"Are you staying?" he asked, turning up his tear-stained face.

"Just for the inauguration," Rose told him. "But you're safe and sound now with Rey."

"Oni isn't," Tem sobbed. "He told the best stories. He always loved telling stories. And now he doesn't have anyone to tell stories to."

Finn exchanged glances with Rose. "Well…there's no reason we can't make a quick stop by Canto Bight to see if there's any…war profiteers with ties to any remaining First Order sympathies," he said slowly.

"That," said Poe, "is a very good idea, Mr. Finn. And should you happen to stumble across a particular orphan working in the stables, there's no reason you shouldn't bring up the laws about child labor and education that the New Republic passed just last week. The stable-groom would lose custody for breaking the law, and the child would become a ward of the Republic, up for…adoption?"

Rose's face lit up. "I think I would very much like to go to Canto Bight after this, Finn."

Ara looked from adult to adult, realization dawning on her face. "You're going to rescue him?" she gasped. "You can _do_ that?"

"Of course we can," said Poe. "Grown-ups can do anything. Within reason and the, uh, bounds of legality, of course," he amended, seeing Rey's pointed look.

"MISTER GENERAL POE!" screamed a child's voice from behind the door, and Poe turned as the blue blur that was Dax leaped straight into his arms, hugging him.

"Dax, my little buddy!" he said, smiling. "How've you been?"

"I have a Tata," said Dax, showing Poe his precious Bantha. "He stays with me so I don't miss my mom."

"That's great," said Poe, choking up unexpectedly.

"Oh," said Rey, "and this is U'yi and that's Mira." The two smaller ones ran out and immediately buried their faces in Rey's coat, shy of the strangers, followed by the maid, followed by Matron Yori and Matron Tuppi.

"Well," said Yori, disentangling Mira from Rey's skirt, "I think it's high time we got ready for the ceremony. Tuppi, will you please take the young ones and take them in? The usher will show you where to go. I'll dress Madame Rey."

"Yes, Matron," said Tuppi, and began to escort the children out. "Captain Dameron, Mr. Finn, Chief Tico. If you would follow Groom Mylo to the Great Hall when the time comes, you will be seated. The other guests are all in the main reception chamber…"

The doors closed, cutting off the sound of her voice, and Rey followed Yori back to her bedroom, where she pulled off her coat carefully and undid the back of the white velvet gown as Yori pulled out a long, wine-colored gown from the wardrobe.

Rey sat down and pulled her shoes off. "Looks warm," she said hopefully.

"Oh, yes," Yori assured her, shaking out the folds of heavy fabric. "Once you have it on, I'll do your hair."

"My hair's already done," Rey protested, but slipped the dress over her head. Once on, it took shape and proved to be a heavy, long gown, fitted from the waist up and falling to the ground in folds of dark red material. The sleeves were fitted, widening slightly at her wrists, and the neckline plunged from her high-collared throat to nearly her navel, a narrow slit of exposed flesh framed by embroidery and beadwork in subtle scrolls that glittered red in the light. The same embroidery work circled her wrists and marked where her pockets were. Rey put her hands in them at once. "Perfect," she said, delightedly wiggling her fingers. "Give my regards to the Mistress of Wardrobe."

"I shall," said Yori, looking pleased. "And this, for your hair." She held out a golden double band with two carved triangular pieces on each end of the arc, then set it aside and took Rey's hair out of its bun, her stern fingers working quickly.

Ten minutes later, Rey's hair was down, tumbling across one shoulder in a loose, wide braid (it had never been long enough to braid before, and she liked it) with the golden bands sitting across the top of her head and pinning the sides of her hair to her head lightly. A few strands drifted about artfully, framing her face.

"Very nice," said Yori. "Shoes, and then we shall go. There's a grand ball planned for tonight, and you can change for the dancing if you prefer." She found a pair of suede slippers and handed them to Rey. "All right. I'll escort you down. Let's go."

~

The Great Hall was vastly brighter than Rey remembered it being on her furtive excursions to peer over the gallery. The walls were looming stone, but in some places the wood of the original structure, thousands and thousands of years old, was visible. The floor was fine marble, all the way to the end of the room where a platform was raised, holding an ancient seat of stone that looked as old as the Hall itself.

Rey settled in at the end of the right row in the front, on the aisle. She and the children had been one of the last to be seated: the Hall was traditionally filled from back to front, from least noble to most, and she was sitting across from several dukes and officials. She hadn't missed the glances and whispers as she'd made her way up the aisle, escorted by Lord Dinys, feeling very regal in her heavy dark red gown.

Quickly, she leaned out a little to make sure all the children were in place and not wriggling. Fortunately, they all seemed awed by the proceedings, and even Tem was sitting very still. Ara, prim and silent, sat at Rey's right elbow, and Matron Yori sat on the end by Mira, dressed in her best uniform.

The great doors closed with a thud, and the Arbiter, Lord Dinys, got up from the left row and stood by the seat. "The Birrenese are gathered!" he shouted, in a gravelly, booming voice that echoed up to the galleries, which were packed with ordinary Birrenese citizens. (In any other case, Tuppi had mentioned to Rey as they'd stood in the main reception chamber, there would not have been much of a turnout, as the inauguration had become only symbolic—but the news that a reformed Kylo Ren was becoming governor had attracted thousands of curious citizens, who now crammed the whole building and most of the courtyard.) "The Governor is dead! The blood-right falls! Who comes to claim this title?"

Rey's spine tingled at the booming, ancient words. The ritual had not changed since before the days of space travel—it was like hearing a voice from the ancient past.

The great doors were thrown open with a sonorous thud, the light streaming in, and every head in the room turned, blinking in the sun, to see Ben, both arms outstretched as he stepped inside. Rey blinked, squinting. From so far away he was only a tall black silhouette outlined in gold light.

"I come to claim this title," he said, standing at the end of the Hall.

The Arbiter held up a hand. "Name yourself, stranger, that we may know your blood-right."

Ben's voice was clear and deep, confidently projecting to the rafters. "Ben Organa Solo, only son of Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan."

"We recognize the name. We know your blood-right. Leia Organa of Alderaan laid the mantle down, and now she rests in peace."

"Now she rests in peace," echoed the entire building as if on cue.

"Approach and kneel, son of Organa," said the Arbiter, and Ben started walking, all the way down the long center aisle in a measured, purposeful stride. As he neared the end of the aisle, Rey took in his clothing—a simple black tunic, pants, and boots, a plain gold belt around his waist. His hair had been trimmed, just brushing the collar of the tunic and gleaming like polished kriin-wood.

As he passed the last row he turned his head slightly and met her eyes. Only a brief second, a moment, and he was past her. He knelt in front of the seat and bowed his head, waiting.

The Arbiter turned, lifting his hands. "Do you, Ben Organa Solo, swear to protect and shelter the people of Birren?"

"I do so swear," Ben said, and the Arbiter lifted a cloth-of-gold mantle from the heavy chest behind the seat, swinging it out so that it glimmered in the light from the candledroids and glowlamps. With a practiced hand, he settled it around Ben's shoulders, the heavy folds gleaming like molten metal pouring down his back.

"And do you swear to defend and guard the people of Birren?

"I do so swear," he answered, and the old man lifted a scepter from the chest, holding it aloft so everyone could see the shine of electrum and the gems laid into it.

"Rise, Ben Organa Solo," he said, and Ben did, his back to the audience. The Arbiter handed him the scepter, and Rey felt in the Force a sigh, something momentary, a settling. "You shall protect. You shall defend. You shall be a shield, and a sword; a shade in the sun and a storm upon the mountain. Behold your people, my Lord Governor." Ben turned, one hand sweeping the cloak back, and faced the audience, looking like a statue in black and gold. "People of Birren, behold your Supreme Governor!"

A single, loud blast on some kind of wind instrument startled Ara, who jumped in place next to Rey. Ben stepped off the platform and began to walk back down the aisle, and applause filled the Hall, along with a few loud cheers as the Arbiter smiled genially.

"I have to pee," said Tem over the noise of the crowd, leaning around Ara.

"Matron Yori?" Rey asked, and motioned at Yori, who nodded and reached out for him. "Any of you have to go too?" Dax and Mira both nodded and squirmed off their seats, leaving U'yi sitting with Tuppi on the far side of the bench as Yori hustled them off to the nearest bathroom.

Rey finally allowed herself to relax as the far doors swung shut. "Well, that was fun," she said to Ara.

"I want to do the dancing!" Ara said excitedly. "Yori said there would be a big party after."

Tuppi stood up and took U'yi's hand. "There will be," she said crisply. "Not the sort of party children will find interesting." Ara sighed heavily. Tuppi continued, "Considering the circumstances, however, you and young Temiri will be allowed to have your dinner with his Lordship and stay up until exactly eight in the evening, at which time you must go directly to bed. Am I quite clear?"

"Oh, _yes,_ " said Ara, delighted.

"Nice party," said Poe, from behind Rey. She turned and smiled at him, Finn, and Rose.

"Oh, hello! I hope you'll all be staying for the dinner. There's an enormous serve-yourself table and fireworks planned for the gardens."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," said Finn. He leaned in closer to Rey. "Who would have thought he had it in him, huh?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Better than exile on some backwater nightmare. Imagine him on Jakku."

Finn pretended to shudder. "I don't want to imagine Jakku at all, ever."

"Madame Rey," said a gentleman who she remembered held the title of Master of the Keys, "His Lordship is receiving guests as they exit. Propriety dictates you exit the Hall last, then you will go down to dinner."

"The self-serve thing, or—"

"Oh, no, madame. Apologies. Traditionally after an inauguration the Governor's family or closest companions, chosen by the Governor the previous night, have a small, private meal in the Green Room. After that, they attend on the guests."

"Ah," said Rey, and noticed the Hall was becoming emptier by the minute as person after person filed out, run through the gauntlet of the highly efficient staff to be presented to the new Governor. "Well. Who's on the list for dinner?"

The Master of the Keys retrieved a datapad from his billowing sleeves. "Hmm. Ah. Yourself, young Arashell and Temiri, Captain Dameron, Mr. Finn, and Chief Tico. The youngest children are not considered old enough, so they will be taken to the kitchens for their meal and then taken up to bed, at the recommendation of Matron Yori."

Poe, Finn, and Rose looked startled as the afore-named matron returned, three children in her wake. "Ah, you've got the dinner list," she said. "Good."

Rey knelt down and hugged the three youngest. "You'll get to watch the fireworks from upstairs," she promised. "And you all look very nice and I'm very proud of you."

Dax frowned, looking worried. "Will you come up tonight after the party is over?"

"Yes, I promise," Rey said. "Now go off and get some dinner, and I'll see you all tonight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i've got to make a confession, i had a drink or two last night and attempted to finish this chapter and got through it all the way into chapter 52, and for whatever reason my brain was going "mm finish this!!! wrap it up!!" and my hands were going "GIVE THEM MORE DRAMA AND STUPID CONFLICT WE CAN DRAG THIS OUT FOR ANOTHER 5 CHAPTERS RIGHT???" anyway, I'll be tacking on the alternate 1)ending of this chapter and 2) chapter 51 as sort of deleted scenes, since I really didn't want to just delete five thousand words, and I liked the dialogue I came up with, but the plot was all over the place and just not on a path I initially wanted to go down. dont drink and write kids thanks for coming to my ted talk


	51. All Debts Paid

The inaugural dinner was a quiet affair. After they'd all been seated in their places around the table, the maids brought in a simple roasted haunch of something Rey hadn't bothered to ask the identity of and a few side dishes, then poured everyone wine (Tem and Ara had blue milk), left the bottles on the sideboard, and left them to their own devices.

"Thank the Force that's over," said Ben as soon as the door shut, leaving them in the Green Room.

"Well, you didn't trip and you didn't panic, so I think we can consider it a job well done," said Poe, raising his glass. "To Supreme Governor Ben Solo."

Rose and Finn and Rey all echoed the sentiment and the gesture, then Rey began to dig into the meat, remembering she had barely eaten any breakfast and it was now mid-afternoon. Next to her, Ara began to copy her movements, stuffing her mouth full, and Rey, with a resigned little sigh, slowed down, sat up straight, and held her fork properly. She watched covertly as Ara imitated her movements, primly putting one bite of food at a time in her mouth and chewing with her mouth closed.

"I liked your gold cape," Tem told Ben.

"Thank you," said Ben, halfway through chewing. He swallowed. "It was very heavy. I'm glad it's been put away safely."

That got a laugh from Finn, and before long they were all talking, Ben congratulating Rose on the engagement and Rey telling Poe about the presents she'd gotten that morning. Tem and Ara took turns telling Finn about their new rooms, and their clothes, and the Matron who made Tem take a bath every night even though he didn’t want one and scrubbed his ears so hard they hurt, and the birds that Ara could see outside her window every morning.

The two hours passed like nothing, and near the very end, Poe clapped his hand to his head. "Kark—uh, I mean, oh no," he amended, avoiding Rey's glare at his language in front of the kids. "I have something for you, Ben. Hold on." He dug into his breast pocket and came up with a datacard, similar to Rey's old lightsaber permit, projecting an image of Judge Cander and some very fine print. "One twenty-four hour pass to go offworld."

Ben blinked, his wineglass frozen in his hand. "But—the terms of my parole—"

"Waived for exactly 24 hours on the authority of the judge who sentenced you, so as long as you have the card on your person you'll be fine."

Ben swallowed once. "What's it for?"

Poe looked down, and Rey caught the unspoken something passing between them. "Your mother—the scattering of her ashes. It's been scheduled to take place in three days. There's going to be a fleet in the Graveyard of Alderaan—full military ceremony, we lobbied for that pretty hard. You can take a private ship out and not talk to a single person if you don't want to."

There was a beat, a pause, the space of a heartbeat, a breath. Ben met Poe's eyes. "Thank you," he said, and meant it. "I owe you one."

"Nah, you don't," said Poe, and held out the card flat on his hand. "Consider all debts paid."

Ben raised his hand and the datacard floated out of Poe's palm, sailing smoothly across the table and into his fingers. Ara watched it go, her eyes following the arc of the card and her mouth wide open. "Captain," Ben said gently, and nodded in acknowledgment.

"Well, I think it's about time for those fireworks, don't you?" asked Rose brightly. "Tem, Ara, want to walk out with me?"

"Yes!" said Tem in glee, and pushed his chair back. Finn and Poe stood to follow suit. Rey stayed where she was, fastened to her seat by a single look from Ben and the silent request to _stay_ in the Force.

"You go on, we'll catch up," she said lightly, and Poe came around behind the chair to give her a peck on the head and squeeze her shoulder. She smiled up at him. "See you out there."

Once the doors had closed behind them with a soft thud, Rey looked at the table. Her cheeks were burning, and she didn't know why. She didn't want to look at Ben at all, and her chest felt as if her heart was trying to pump right out of it.

"Rey," he said quietly, and she let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding before she finally looked at him and met his eyes. To her surprise, he looked almost stern, face hard. She reached out through the Force to probe his emotions, and found herself up against a permacrete wall, blocking out all intrusion.

 _Okay, then_. She blinked and slightly shifted back a little, unsure. "Um, yes?"

"We still have something to talk about," he told her. "A discussion we shelved for later."

"Ah," said Rey calmly, very quietly ready to panic or possibly die on the spot.

"I've been giving it some thought," he began, as measured and cool as she'd ever heard him. "Of course, it's completely up to you as to whatever decision you make, but I want you to know that—"

Behind him, the doors opened with a loud bang and two kitchen maids came through, ready to clear the table, clearly having had no idea that the room was still occupied and speaking at top volume about the party, and what the Duchess of Syxen's lady's maid had worn to the—

Ben leaped out of his seat, slammed his hands on the table with a loud bang, and roared, " _CAN I GET A ROOM TO MYSELF FOR **TEN KARKING MINUTES**?!?"_

Both the maids shrieked in horror and raced backward out of the room stumbling over each other in an attempt to get the door closed behind them. Rey's heart was beating hard and fast, high up in her throat as she grasped the edge of the table with a white-knuckled grip. Ben's grip on his mental block had slipped for only a second, and she'd tasted the white-hot fury and terror and frustration walled up behind it.

He turned around and looked at her, composed again. "I'm sorry," he said, and sat back down.

"I'm not who deserves an apology," said Rey coolly.

"I'll apologize to the maids after I'm finished here," he said. "And yes, you do deserve one. I frightened you. I shouldn’t have shouted." He rubbed his temples and leaned back. "It's like every time I turn around there's a new person doing something you have to attend to. I can't wait until this is over and I can just sleep for a week."

"Mmm," said Rey noncommittally, and raised her glass of wine to sip it. Her hands were still shaking slightly.

"Are you—are you nervous because of me shouting or because of what I said before the—"

"Both," she said quickly, and set the glass back down. "Just karking ask already, before I pass out or faint or age to ninety."

"I—" Ben's words stuck in his throat, and he stood, then sat, then stood again, his face turning quite red. "I would—I—" Quickly, he stepped over to her chair and knelt on the floor, one hand out to her. "I would be very—I would—be honored, if you would, I mean—if you would do me the honor of becoming—of being—my wife. Please," he added, as an afterthought.

Rey's mouth went very dry, and she wished she had the whole bottle of wine. "Do you— do you love me?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"Do I—wh—of course I—" Ben looked shocked. "Rey, _of course_ I do, haven't I…" His voice trailed off, as he realized, and he went very white in the face. "Do you mean to tell me—karking hell. Kriffing, karking, sith-spitting son of a bantha. I've never actually crinking said it, have I?"

"No," said Rey, rather enjoying the shocked look on his ghost-white face. "No, you have not. And I hope you got all the swearing out of your system, because you had better not use language like that around the kids."

Ben reached forward and clasped her waist between his hands, coming up on his knees to meet her face. "Well, _you_ haven't said it either," he said with a wicked grin.

"I have so!" she insisted. "I—you heard me through the Force, that one time on—"

"That doesn't count," he said, grinning. "So. You say it first. Out loud."

Rey spluttered. "Don’t you change the—I—we—oh, fine! Fine! I love you, you—you moody, oversized old moof-milker!"

"Old, is it?" Ben reached up and gripped her chin between his thumb and forefinger. "I'll have you know," he said in a low growl that _really_ should not have made her want to tackle him to the floor, "that I am barely thirty-one, and also, that I love _you_ , you stubborn, scrawny little—"

Rey seized him by the sides of his face and kissed him, muffling out the last words. Both his hands slid to her lower back before he broke the kiss. "About karking time," she said.

"Is that a yes?" he asked.

"It's a something," she teased.

"Don't," he warned, his voice dropping down into a whisper. "Please. What is it that you want?"

"I want," said Rey, and closed her eyes. What did she want?

She wanted the house from her dream with the little garden, and her family all around her. Laughter. Safety. No more running, not for a very long time. Life. Peace.

"I see," said Ben gently, and she opened her eyes to realize he'd felt everything, seen everything she'd thought. "I can—we don't have to speak about it again if you don't—"

"What?" she said, and grabbed the hands he was pulling back. "No. You're my family now. You, me, and the students. The household. This is where I belong. It's with _you_."

He stared at her for a moment. "Oh," he said.

"So…it's a yes," she clarified, and Ben's eyes filled with unexpected tears that spilled down his cheeks before he buried his face into her lap and began to cry, hugging her tight as if he would never let go.

"We won't tell the others," he said, raising his head after a moment and looking up at her. "Not for a while. Just to let everyone settle in."

"I think that's a good idea," she said gently, stroking his hair. "Now you go find those maids and apologize before you put your face in some cold water."

Ben grinned and stood up, leaning forward to kiss her on the lips, a chaste, quick peck. "The Earl of Cymburn is going to be very disappointed," he said.

"What?" Rey asked.

"He told me in the receiving line he intended to propose a union as an alliance between the Governorship and his estate. Mentioned he came to you this morning, but your daughter was there, and he didn't know about her, so he backed out and was going to attempt again at the party tonight." Ben chuckled. "Persistent little—"

It clicked, then, in Rey's head—the shimmersilk had been intended to make a wedding gown.

"Oh, good gods," she said faintly, and slugged down a gulp of wine.

"It was all I could do to keep smiling," he informed her. "I'm sure we can drop a hint tonight later if he makes another attempt. Anyway, maids. Right. While I'm doing that, you probably have time to change into something you can move in." He disappeared through the door, leaving Rey to sit alone at the dinner table with her head in her hands, wondering how in five hells she'd gotten into this, her heart still pounding as if it would never stop.


	52. Reception

Her grand entrance into the party was announced by an amplified droid that proclaimed her title in a toneless, loud voice, and Rey, smiling, nodded graciously at the applauding crowd.

It hadn't been her plan to enter the party alone, but she'd changed, come back down, and Ben was nowhere to be found. A matron had appeared just as she was about to start kicking down walls, and informed her politely that his Lordship had been held up briefly and that he would like her to go down to the garden, where he would meet her shortly.

Shortly meaning, Rey hoped, as soon as possible. She didn't see Finn or Poe or Rose, and nervously smoothed down the front of her gown. Well…what front of it there existed. She had picked a red-gold shimmersilk gown just long enough to not step on with a tightly corseted bodice. A long slit up the draped skirt that exposed most of her left leg. Her arms and shoulders were entirely bare except for the drape that cascaded over her right shoulder and around her left upper arm, and she was already attracting a few stares from the gathered nobility. At least she wasn't too cold, as the outside heaters made the cold evening air balmy as summer.

"Lady Rey!" said a voice from her left, and she turned to see, to her dismay, the Earl of Cymburn, smiling widely at her. He was tall and handsome, in a sort of older, thin way, with a wide white smile, slender straight nose, high forehead and cheekbones, and auburn curls brushed back from his face. "I had thought you were to be accompanied by the Governor."

"So did I," she said automatically as he bowed and kissed her hand. "He's been held up and asked me to go down, saying he'd be out shortly. Erm, and it's actually Madame Rey, not Lady." _Yet_ , she amended to herself.

"My apologies." He straightened and nodded his head. "Madame Rey. Have you had a chance to take a turn around the garden? I believe the fireworks will be starting soon."

"No, not yet," she said, somewhat easing into his company. He was certainly friendly enough.

"Shall I accompany you?" He held out his elbow, and she thought, _might as well_ , before tucking her hand into his velveted sleeve. "They have an ice sculpture commissioned. Really a lovely thing, I think it's over here…"

They stopped by tables, said hello to miscellaneous nobles, and the Earl made sure to let her know in hushed tones who was who and how to remember their names. Along the way, she discovered his actual name was Thom Selanno, and that his family had held the title of Earl of Cymburn for about five hundred years and traditionally held ties to the gubernatorial office through alliances, but those had broken off during the reign of the governor before Lord Melloywn. 

The dusk was gathering and the outside candledroids dimmed to a soft glow. Above her head, Rey saw stars coming out in the deep blue sky. "Oh," she said, fascinated. "New constellations! You couldn't see stars on Coruscant at all, but I used to love looking at the ones on Jakku. I almost forgot they existed."

"Ah, yes!" Thom pointed up. "You can see, directly above us is that one bright star, marking the northernmost point in the night sky. The Hall was purposely built directly beneath it. It's called the Northern Diamond."

"Oh." Rey peered up.  "They used to use stars for navigation, didn't they?"

"They did." Thom leaned down very close and laid his arm along hers, directing her hand to point to the south. "Now, over to the right, yes, that golden one is a very distant sun, and it's the head-star in a constellation called the Lion…"

"Good evening," said a low voice behind them, startling Rey. Thom turned easily and bowed to Ben.

"My lord Governor," he said politely, with a smile. "I was showing Madame Rey the Birrenese constellations in your absence. She shows great interest in such matters."

Ben smiled tightly. "I thank you for escorting her. I was…held up."

Rey stepped between them. "Nothing serious, I hope," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"Ah, no," said Ben. "I was…caught unawares on the stair by Baroness Loren Y'chet, and had to delicately extricate myself from a rather insistent…proposal." He cleared his throat.

"Gracious," said Thom. "You'd think people could wait until your seat's warm to start making proposals."

"You'd _think_ ," said Ben pointedly, and the Earl flushed all the way to the tip of his nose. "Fortunately I informed the Baroness that I'm already spoken for." He smiled at Rey. "I suppose the secret's out."

Thom Selanno's eyes widened in surprise, and to his credit, Rey sensed him tamping down his disappointment, resolved to be a gentleman. "Well, let me be the first to congratulate you both," he said, and extended his hand for Ben to shake. "Although, knowing the Baroness's reputation, your secret might be out by the end of the night."

"Oh, I hope not," said Rey dismally.

"She didn't take it very well, but at least it surprised her enough to enable my escape," Ben said. "Oh, look, the fireworks."

Rey looked up just as a brilliant starburst of blue and green light illuminated the gardens in a popping, brief explosion of color. "I've never seen them before," she said, delighted. "Oh, that one's _red!_ "

The Earl bowed. "I shall leave you to it. My lord Governor, Madame." He smiled again and moved off.

"Who in the galaxy is Baroness Loren Y'chet?" Rey demanded as soon as the Earl was out of earshot, gripping Ben's arm.

He patted her hand. "Don't worry about it. She's an older noblewoman whose latest husband left her a small amount of money, but no title. Her first husband was a baron. Technically she doesn't have the right to the title anymore, just keeps it out of courtesy."

"But why does she want to marry you?"

Another popping explosion of yellow and orange, and ensuing cheers from the garden, masked Ben's low voice. "The title. There are still plenty of people in the galaxy with the idea that bloodline and nobility means everything, especially on smaller planets. The most important thing she can think of is to be the governor's wife, so that's where she's set her sights."

Rey let her fingers creep down into his and squeezed. "Well, if she tries to attack from above, I have your back."

He snorted. "Thanks."

~

They made a few more rounds during the fireworks, smiling and talking to guests and shaking hands. Rey mostly stood still and smiled, accepting congratulations from various personages. She found that she kept referring back to the Earl's handy tips on how to remember names and titles, and begrudgingly considered perhaps hiring him as a sort of human reference datachron.

After the garden rounds were complete, they headed inside the Grand Ballroom, which was a vast building off the garden floored in expensive hardwoods and constructed with great arches and windows. A band was tuning up in the corner unobtrusively, preparing for the dances. Ben escorted Rey around the tables lining the walls, around which a good number of nobles and common Birrenese had already gathered. They spoke to a stonemason or two, a few professors, one very pleased butcher, and a number of scholars, and Rey found she liked those conversations quite a bit more than any others she'd had that day.

"My lord Governor," said the Duchess of Yynchystyr as they paused by her table, her akk-dogs snoozing under it, "rumor has it that you've become engaged." Her dark eyes glittered with her tidbit of gossip as she sipped at her wine. "Can it be true?"

Ben's jaw flexed. "Ah. Is that why everyone keeps giving me sideways looks?"

"I suppose." The Duchess set her glass down delicately, her fine-boned, chubby hands as gentle as fluff. "Or it might be because the… _esteemed_ Baroness Y'chet has informed at least twelve people that you have accepted her proposal, and yet here you are with your lovely paramour on your arm." The way her tongue flicked off the word "esteemed" suggested firstly, that she did not care for the Baroness much at all, and secondly, that she was going to enjoy herself immensely in the next few minutes.

"Oh, kriffing hell," said Rey, horrified.

Ben opened his mouth to say something, but whatever it was, it was cut off by a loud, raspy voice from across the floor. "Milord _Governor!_ "

"Oh, here we go," said the Duchess's escort mildly.

Rey gaped as the Baroness Y'chet sashayed into view. She was in approaching middle age, built rather like Matron Yori, thick through the trunk and roughly the same height as Rey, but there the resemblance to the Matron ended. The Baroness's hair was reddish-brown, piled atop her head in an off-center jumble of rough curls adorned with ribbons in what must have been an attempt to look girlish. Her heavy cheeks and lips were stained with rouge, her heavy-lidded and somewhat bulging eyes framed by lashes stuck together in clumps with too much mascara. Most of her body was swathed in a semi-transparent, bright fluorescent orange and green gown, and one bejeweled hand was clutching a glass of wine.

"Baroness," said Ben tightly.

The Baroness made her way up to the table and grinned at the Duchess, who merely raised an eyebrow. "Good evening, Tella. You've met my darling betrothed, I see?" she asked in a high-pitched, very affected Coruscanti accent. She made to grasp Ben's arm, but he very quickly stepped back several steps, leaving her clutching at thin air. "Such a shy gentleman!" She giggled and batted her eyelashes. Rey involuntarily took a step back, unsure of exactly what to say or do.

"I certainly haven't," said the Duchess, her double chin quivering as if she was fighting the urge to laugh. "I did, however, meet the Governor and his lovely escort. I don't believe you've met Madame Rey?"

The Baroness turned and gave Rey a cold look. "Oh," she said loftily. "Didn't see you there."

"I wish I could say the same," said Rey quite honestly, staring at the orange and green fabric. "You could land a bloody Star Destroyer on that thing from eighteen klicks out." She glanced away and saw negative-color patches in her vision, like staring at the sun for a moment.

The Duchess choked on her wine, and the Baroness's face turned crimson. "Why don't you go and play with the brats you dragged here in the guest wing?" she snapped, her affected accent mysteriously gone. "The nobility has better things to do than entertain the likes of you."

Rey, stung and sensing the hurt from the regular people behind her who could hear every word, straightened up and pointed her chin at the Baroness. "Nobility? The last time I checked, the nobility wasn't entertaining me. I live here. Permanently." She glanced over at Ben, who flushed pink all the way to his ears. "And I was told it's not very noble to be drunk before ten at night."

Loren Y'chet put her glass on the Duchess's table. "I am not drunk," she snarled.

"Well, you must be, Loren, for there's no other reason to go about telling tales," said the Duchess smoothly.

"The Governor has agreed to marry _me,_ " Loren insisted angrily. "You're just jealous that I'm getting the title and you're only a duchess!"

Rey became aware that most of the room had gone silent, and most eyes were on them. She probed slightly into the disaster that was Loren's (indeed, despite her protests) intoxicated psyche through the Force, and found that she was quite desperate, and betting heavily on the social pressure and attention that would come from proclaiming something as fact to a room full of people to force Ben's hand in the matter.

Unfortunately, the deck was stacked against her, she just didn't know it yet.

"My lord," said the Master of the Ceremony, coming up to Ben's elbow, "the dancing shall start as soon as you invite a partner to—"

"Got it, thank you," said Ben shortly, and turned back to the Baroness. She looked up at him as if she expected him to ask her for her hand to dance, a great big smile on her face. "Madam. You will comport yourself with grace, as respects your title, which I am told you only hold out of social courtesy, and you will not insult my fiancée."

"Your—" Loren boggled, staring at Rey with an open, painted mouth. "You _lied_ to me?" She grasped the table and began to wail, her knees giving out, but no tears appearing on her face whatsoever, oddly enough. "Tella! The rogue! _Tellaaaaa, I can't belieeeeeve—"_ The Duchess rolled her eyes and kept sipping wine, apparently used to this sort of behavior.

Ben signaled and two valets appeared immediately. "If Miss Y'chet does not compose herself in exactly ten seconds," he told them, "please remove her from the Great Hall, by force if necessary. Then, please inform the Office of Seals and the Elder Houses that she is to be stripped of her courtesy title of Baroness, permanently."

Like magic, Loren shut her mouth with a snap like a gigantic clam, and she stared at Ben, goggling.

He turned to Rey and held out his hand. "Will you please dance with me, my lady?"

Rey took his hand, feeling rather sorry for the Baroness in spite of herself, and let him lead her out to the floor. "If I step on your feet, I'm sorry," she whispered, feeling every eye on them as they took their places in the center.

"Let me lead and don't push back," he breathed, and the music began, and she let him guide her easily through the simple steps to the dance, one-two-three one-two-three. His hands were warm on her waist and her hand, and her fingers rested lightly on the black velvet of his evening tunic. "Good," he said softly, smiling as she caught herself stepping wrong and fixed it.

One by one, other couples came out to the floor. Rey caught a glimpse of Poe dancing with the stonemason's daughter, and the Duchess of Yynchystyr having the time of her life bossing around the Duke of Chaltum and stepping on both his feet. And there were Finn and Rose, swaying awkwardly back and forth but smiling at each other like they were the only people in the world, and as Rey twirled out in a spin, she caught a glimpse of Thom Selanno practically climbing a chair to get away from the Baroness, who was already back on the prowl.

 _My family. My home. A place I belong._ But at the same time, she knew it wasn't the place so much as it was the tall, smiling man holding her in his arms as they stepped from side to side to the music, never letting go. Belonging wasn't a place. Belonging was a person, people, love and laughter and knowing you were part of something good.

She envisioned the home she'd dreamed of, all alone in the Jakku desert, the garden and her parents. _But I can't hold onto that_ , she thought. _It isn't real, and it can't ever be._ She imagined it blowing away slowly, into the desert wind like ash, the walls and the door and her mother's forgotten face, crumbling away. Lost forever, gone.

"Rey? Are you crying?" Ben sounded concerned. She snapped out of her thoughts and blinked rapidly, tears tracking down her cheeks.

"Oh, I am," she said, and sniffed loudly. "I—I'm sorry. It's—I—"

Ben took her by the hand and led her out to the halls and back outside to the gardens, where the heaters didn't quite reach the back hedges, and sat down with her on a stone bench, shielded from view of the public by an overgrown and very bushy evergreen branch. "Shh," he said soothingly, rubbing her back as she wept into a corner of her gown. "There you go. It's all right."

She lifted her head and tried to smile at him. "I'm sorry," she said. "I was just happy. And sad at the same time. I'm glad—I'm with you, here."

He smiled and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "I am, too," he told her. "Very happy. Happier than I've been in a long time."

Rey sniffed and wiped her nose with the hem of her dress. "I'm not sure I want to go back in there," she said. "I'd rather sit out here for a while and breathe some fresh air."

"I think I'd like that too," he said, and stroked her upper back and shoulders gently, pushing her hair off her neck. "Is this all right?"

"Yes," Rey whispered, eyes closed.

"You looked so beautiful in there," he whispered, his fingertips skimming her shoulders. "Like a candle. The light coming off your gown."

"What did you think when you saw me in the dress?" she teased, turning her head slightly.

He made a noise and leaned his head down, pressing a kiss to her bare skin. "I thought," he murmured, then pressed another kiss to her neck, "that I couldn't wait," another kiss up close to her ear, "to take it off you." His lips moved to just at the nape of her neck, and Rey shivered.

"Ooh," she said involuntarily, and clutched her arms. " _Ben_."

"If you're cold, I know a way to warm you up," he said silkily, easing his right arm around her shoulders. "You just have to stay very quiet."

A sort of horrified warmth began to spread through her belly. "We're in _public._ "

One hand slipped down into the thigh slit and stroked upward, slowly but surely. "We're hidden behind a bush. No vantage points, not even a window. As long as neither of us makes an untoward noise…"

"I see your tactical mind is as goal-oriented as ev—oh, kark, _Ben._ " She stiffened and tried not to writhe.

"What's _this_?" he asked, one eyebrow raised. "Going around without your basics, Madame Rey?"

"You could see the bloody lines through the gown, so I—" Rey straightened up and bit back a noise. " _Please._ "

"Keep breathing like that," he said calmly, his fingers moving with a ponderous rhythm. "Good fresh air."

"I—hate—you," she gasped, and bit her lower lip as his thumb joined in.

"No using the Force for this one," Ben informed her, as if he was instructing her on the make and model of a droid part. "No cheating allowed."

An inarticulate noise from Rey was his only answer, and after a few more extremely tense seconds, she shuddered, relaxed, and leaned forward, gripping the edge of the bench with both hands. Ben gently withdrew his fingers and used his other hand to cup her cheek, turning her face toward him. Rey, flushed and bright-eyed, watched with her mouth open as he slid his fingers between his lips, licked them clean, and withdrew them with a soft, wet noise before leaning down to kiss her thoroughly, and she tasted him and herself and the wine from dinner all at once, her tongue finding his lip and her teeth latching down.

Ben broke the kiss and she reached down and felt the length of him, pressing through his trousers insistently. "We should…get back to the party," she said, sounding slightly out of breath.

"Kark the party." Rey looked up at him. "Bed," he said, nothing but intense need in his eyes. " _Now_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick notes: the Earl of Cymburn...man, I knew I was going to bring him back, and I kept trying to portray him as like, a baby-faced blonde dweeb but when I was writing him literally all I could see was Tom Hiddleston with a beard so that's how he is now. Also, before anyone decides to write a prim little comment about Women Against Each Other or whatever, the Baroness is based off a person I knew for a few years who behaved pretty much exactly like her fictional counterpart, except worse, and we are not on speaking terms to this very day.


	53. Nightfall

They sneaked past the guests in the reception halls, past the solemn silence of the empty Great Hall, down a hallway and into the residence wing. Ben pushed the door open silently with the Force, slipping inside with Rey clasped to his chest.

Inside, the fires were all low, glowing coals, and the glowlamps were dimmed. Rey fought a giggle as Ben leaned down, nibbling at her ear. "Wait," she gasped. "We promised the kids we'd see them to bed."

Ben let out a low, rumbly growl and buried his nose in her hair. "Reeeeey," he groaned.

"It'll only take a minute," she insisted, grinning as she disentangled herself from his hands. "Promise." She darted toward the hallway and Ben followed hot on her heels, one hand creeping up her back as she cracked open the door and peered into the youngest children's room.

Dax and Mira were sprawled out on their backs, dead asleep in their little beds. U'yi was on his back, tiny nose pointed to the ceiling, mouth slightly open and snuffling in his sleep.

"They're asleep," Ben murmured, one hand creeping up the front of her gown. "Rey…"

"We should check in with Tem and Ara, too," she informed him, grinning as she plucked at the hand wending its way into her gown's top. " _Ben._ "

He growled under his breath and tried to kiss her again as she slipped his grasp and hurried down the hall further, peering into Tem and Ara's rooms. She had just enough time to see that both of them were also asleep before Ben pressed himself up against her back and got both his hands inside her gown, one above and one below.

"Holy Force," he murmured, fingers sweeping her upper thighs. "You're _wet._ "

Rey bit her lip and tried to force herself to remain standing. "You can’t possibly mean to do—this—in the _hallway—_ "

"I mean to do a lot of things," he whispered roughly, and she felt his lips on her neck, then his teeth. His right hand left her breast and found her gown, yanking it up in the back. Cold air hit her backside and she stiffened.

" _Ben!"_ she hissed, scandalized.

His teeth bit down hard, but not hard enough to break skin, before he dropped her skirt and whirled her around, pressing her up against the wall. "You tell me where," he demanded roughly, voice a rasping whisper. "Tell me _now._ "

"My room," she said without thinking, and he picked her up with one smooth movement, throwing her over his shoulder like a sack of flour, and headed for the hallway arch. "Oof," she gasped, clutching at his back.

Through the arch they went, then into the living area, then up into Rey's room. He made sure to close the door and lock it before turning about, laying eyes on the bed, and marching directly over, depositing her onto it. She bounced when she hit the thick mattress, her gown glowing in the light from the wall lamps.

Ben was already untying his leather belt and shucking off his boots before she had a chance to gather herself and sit up. Off came the velvet tunic, the silk under-tunic, the thin undershirt. Off came the trousers. He looked over, and his eyes traced over every line of her. "Take that off," he said, and bent to yank off his basics.

"Why don't you take it off me?" she challenged.

Very slowly and deliberately, he raised his head and looked at her. "If I take it off you," he said, "it won't be wearable again."

Heat slithered down Rey's spine and puddled somewhere between her legs. She undid the waist clasp and shimmied out of the thing, tossing it to the side and kicking it away to the floor, then looked up at Ben.

He was frozen, staring at her body, one hand working against his thigh. "Force," he breathed, sounding strained. "You're beautiful." Rey blushed as he slowly climbed up, toward her on the bed. "Open your legs," he commanded, and she obediently slid her thighs apart, exposing everything to him.

"What are you going to do?" she whispered, and squeaked as his head dipped down, lips tracing across her belly and hips.

"I," he said, punctuating every few words with a lower kiss, "am going to do my very best—to block out everything you're feeling—so I don't embarrass myself—like I did on Naboo."

"Oh—" Rey said, and his mouth closed down on her tender flesh and she groaned and lifted her legs to his shoulders, both hands flung out and grasping the sheets. " _Oh._ B—Ben. _Yes._ " He exhaled, his nose pressed against her mound, and she moaned slightly, reaching down with her left hand and tangling her fingers into his dark hair. "Please don't stop," she begged, and he caught her left hand with his right and squeezed, his tongue and lips working away.

"Mmm," he hummed, and she jerked into his mouth with a strangled noise.

"Do—do that again—" He obeyed, giving her a steady stream of vibrations and she clamped down with her thighs on both sides of his head, every muscle tight, before he pushed her over the edge with a few solid movements and she came apart, gasping and trembling as she sank back down into the bedclothes.

Ben raised himself up, a slick face between his broad, thickly muscled shoulders. "Your most humble servant, my lady," he said, and bent to kiss her shaking thigh.

Rey got up on her elbows a little and untangled the gold headdress from her hair. "Servant, are you?" she said, her voice slightly husky.

"Yes," he said, and crawled up to her face, hovering above her chest. "Yes, I am." He moved his knees and sat back on his heels, looming above her, and Rey pushed herself up, feeling oddly exposed. She took the bedsheet and drew it across her body, just enough to hide where her thighs joined and one of her breasts. Ben noticed the movement and reached out a hand, gently tracing the muscle of her calf. "You're still afraid of me," he whispered.

"No," she said, slightly bothered by her own mixed feelings. "Not of you, particularly. Only…" She paused, bit her own lip, and watched as Ben leaned forward, a line between his eyebrows. "Only in the way—I don't know—a smaller person might be afraid of a bigger person. It's not _you_."

"Ah," he said, and lay down on his side next to her without touching her. "Well, here I am. Do what you like with me."

Rey narrowed her eyes. " _Anything_ I like?"

"Anything," he affirmed. "Just…not that trick you pulled last night, if you please."

She snorted and sat up, letting the sheet fall. Experimentally, she pushed him onto his back, and he lay flat there, a faint sheen of sweat on his pale chest, his erection pointing up at his stomach, the tip nearly touching his navel and already leaking clear fluid. She laid a hand along his flank, stroking the puckered scar where the long-ago bowcaster shot had struck him. She traced the scars she'd given him, the scars others had given him, the smooth planes of muscle and the dark freckles that scattered his skin.

Rey's hands moved down to his thighs, and the dark hair between his legs. Ben let out a soft sound, and she glanced up to see him biting his full lower lip, his cheeks suffused with rich color. "Easy," she said softly, and let her hands brush down his legs, the coarse hair there a lighter brown than the stuff on his head or between his legs. He had such long legs, she thought as she traced the lines of his muscles.

"Rey," he said, sounding strained. She didn't need to use the Force to know what he wanted.

"Not yet," she said, and she got a soft moan in response. Her hands crept back up to his hips, feeling the sharp bone beneath the soft skin, the waist thick with muscle. His cock jerked upward as her fingers brushed the edge of his hair there, and she jumped, a little startled.

Ben snorted. "Sorry," he said.

"Hilarious," she said dryly, and reached down for his two—

" _Nngh_ ," said Ben, tense as a whip. "Erm. Rey. Rey—"

"I'm being gentle," she informed him, and gave them the slightest of squeezes. "Or would you rather…" Her other hand crept back behind them, and stroked along the skin there. Ben let out a rather un-masculine sound and arched his back. "Rey, _please—"_

Rey chuckled and lifted both her hands, reached for the lubricant she had begun to keep discreetly in her night-table, slicked her hands, then firmly grasped his cock, swollen and hot in her fingers. "This?" she teased, as her hands began to move.

Ben's hands seemed to not know where to go. He kept automatically reaching for her hands, then yanking them away, his voice sliding a crescendo up into a high-pitched, cracking wheeze. "Oh, holy Force, kark, _kark_ —"

Rey switched and rubbed the very tip with her slick palm, light as a breath, over and over until he finally snapped, over-stimulated, and yanked himself up with a hoarse shout, grabbing both her wrists and holding them away from him. "You have—no kriffing _idea_ —" He yanked her in close, his eyes half-mad and narrowed into angular slits. "I'm going to—I'm—" Ben's sentence ended in an inarticulate growl, and he planted his hand on her backside, pulling her in close, trapping his cock between their bodies and burying his face in her hair. He took soft, huffing breaths as he tried to contain himself.

"Well, you did say anything," she reminded the back of his head as he held her to him.

"I used to touch myself in the dark to memories of you," he breathed, and she went still, hands on his lower back. "I was good at blocking my feelings out. I never slipped up, never revealed a thought of you. I hated myself for it. And now… I have you. You're mine. You're mine because you chose to be."

"You're mine, too," she told him, pulling back. "Because you chose to be."

"Yes," he said softly, after a moment. "Yes, I'm yours." His hands moved higher, tracing the curve of her. "The last son of the Skywalkers saw a scavenger girl from nowhere and chose to be hers. I chose it from the day I met you." Between their bodies, he was shifting, moving. Rey reached down and guided him to her entrance, and he shuddered, his whole body pressed to hers. "I chose it," he gasped, and thrust himself home. "Ohhh, _force,_ I _chose_ it—"

"Ben," she whispered, and he pushed her onto her back, his hips canting into hers. One of his hands wound into her hair, and the other gripped her shoulder, keeping her there.

"I chose _you,_ " he groaned, his face tight. "Rey. _Rey._ "

Both her legs wrapped around his hips tightly. "I chose you too," she gasped, and he moaned, then buried his face in her neck.

"Won't—be long," he panted. "I'm sorry—I can't—"

"It's okay," she told him softly, and held on under his weight until he let out a high-pitched moan against her throat, hips stuttering, and ground against her hard, his thighs shaking as he finally came. Ben held himself there for a moment, catching his breath, then rolled off Rey, one arm draped across her stomach. Their breathing slowed gradually, and Rey rolled to her side, facing him.

"So what did you think about when you touched yourself?" she asked, and Ben turned pink.

"Well. It's not like I knew what a naked woman looked like, that's for certain."

"Well, you had to be thinking of _something_."

"You're going to laugh." He rolled his head over and peered at her from under his hair.

"I will not," she said indignantly. "Just tell me. Now I'm curious."

"All right." Ben rolled to his side. "I…well first, I'd imagine what would have happened if you'd stayed in the interrogation room instead of escaping." He cleared his throat. "I go in, in my mind, you know, and there you are, looking at me like you can see right down to my bones. I order the troopers out, and I take off my helmet. Then I'd kiss you, carefully and slowly, until you started kissing me back all in spite of your anger, and—" He shrugged.

"What? And what?" Rey demanded.

"Well, by that time I was usually finished," he admitted, red in the face, and Rey choked back a snort. "You said you wouldn't laugh!"

"I'm not," she insisted, "I've got a, um, cough. Was that the only scenario you dreamed up?"

"Erm. No," he said, going even redder. "After our skirmish on the _Supremacy_ I used to fantasize that you had said yes and joined me. And I'd be lying if I didn’t say, um, that while the Force was connecting us after Starkiller, I hoped it would let me catch you at… an opportune moment."

Rey crinkled her nose up at him, grinning. "You mean you wanted to catch me with my clothes off."

"Yes. Or at least partially clothed. And, ah, the subsequent imaginary scenarios included…that."

"Well, now that you've seen me naked," she teased, cuddling up to him, "what _else_ do you think of?"

"I'm sure there will be plenty of time for you to discover that," he said. "After all, we do have ten years."

" _Ben_!"

"All right. Um." He let his hands trace down her side. "Hmm. Well. Mostly I think about how perhaps I'll steal you away from training for a day and go up into the woods. In the summer, when it's warm, we can go somewhere nobody can find us." Ben leaned up on his elbow and let his thumb drift across her breast. "We can lay a blanket out on the ground and…you know," he finished lamely, blushing again.

She giggled and stroked his hair. "Mmm. Yeah, I know," she said. "Do you think they'll let us sleep in tomorrow?"

"Force, I hope so," he said, and plunked his head down onto her shoulder. "I could sleep for a month."

Rey let her hand rest on his warm arm. "Me too," she said. Ben's body shifted a little until he was curled up around her like a vine-tiger, his body emanating heat like an enormous oven. She sighed and settled down to sleep, listening to the sound of his gentle breathing as distant thunder broke outside, rumbling.


	54. Farewell to the General

The day after the inauguration dawned rainy, cold, and gloomy. Rey, wrapped in a robe, opened her bedroom window and reveled in the smell of wet earth, grass, and rain as Ben grunted and moved around under the covers.

"Come back to bed," he mumbled, peering out of his nest of blankets.

Rey climbed up on the plush window seat and inhaled deeply. "It smells so _good_ ," she said, looking out at the mist over the gardens, the dull green and gray of the sky. An errant gust of wind blew some cold rain into her face, and she started in surprise and wiped her cheeks.

"Turn on the electroscreen," Ben said sleepily.

"What?" Rey peered at the little panel on the window. "Oh." She pressed the button, and a pale-blue field crackled to life, filling the window entirely. Rain pattered against it, but the cool air and the fresh scent of rain still poured through.

"Mmph," she heard him grumble, and turned to see him slipping out of bed, clutching the thick comforter around his shoulders. "Move over, then," he said, climbing up on the window seat. She scooted enough for him to settle, then crawled up into his lap, her head tucked under his chin and both feet snugly secure in a pocket of the comforter.

"Let's not get up yet," she whispered, her eyes already closing again. She could hear the rain, and the wind, and the solid and steady beat of his heart as he wrapped his arms and the corners of the comforter around her. "Let's stay here for a long time."

~

Sometime later Rey was woken by gentle knocking on the bedroom door. She reluctantly slid out of Ben's heavy arms and covered him with the blanket, then went to the door in her robe and opened it, rubbing her eyes free of gunk.

"Madame," said Matron Tuppi. She was holding a large tray of breakfast, flanked by a younger maid, and she was smiling, shockingly. "I assume his Lordship is within?"

Rey nodded and stepped aside. "He's still asleep," she whispered, and pointed to the window seat, where Ben lay in repose, his large frame awkwardly curled up and his mouth open slightly.

Tuppi nodded briskly and set the tray down. "It's nine in the morning," she informed Rey quietly. "The children are all awake and are in the middle of their spelling lessons with Matron Yori."

"Thank you," Rey said. "I think—"

Ben sniffed, snuffled, and blinked awake. "Caf?" he said blearily, raising one arm to block out the morning light.

"Yes, my lord, and plenty besides," Tuppi said. "You had better get up and eat if you want food."

Rey looked at the maid, who was blushing and looking at the floor. "I don't think we've met yet," she offered.

"Ah, this is Miss Maella Rinou." Tuppi gestured, and Maella dipped into a curtsy. "She's going to be your new handmaiden."

"My new what?" Rey asked, staring at her. Maella looked about Rey's age, slightly shorter, with a turned-up nose, freckles, and a great amount of fine blond hair twisted into an elaborate double knot atop her head. She was wearing a dark blue, floor length gown that went up to her throat with sleeves that were tight from the wrists to the elbows and blousy from the elbows up, with a simple belt tied around her waist.

"Handmaiden," said Tuppi. "She will assist with your dressing, bring you breakfast when you wish to eat in your room, draw your bath, mend your clothing, and generally attend on you. It's a position she worked very hard to earn, and one such as you're entitled to employ, seeing as you're the fiancée of our lord governor."

Said lord governor was shuffling across the room with his hair all in his eyes, clutching the comforter around his waist in a vain attempt at modesty before he sat at the table. Tuppi sighed in disapproval. "Perhaps, Maella, your first duty could be to ensure his Lordship has a change of clothes brought up?"

"Yes, ma'am," said Maella, curtseying again.

"Well, then. We shall leave you to breakfast. Maella will be back in half an hour to help you dress. Good morning." Tuppi nodded her head and went out the door, Maella in her wake.

Rey sat down in her chair with a plop. " _Handmaiden?_ "

Ben raised his cup of caf and saluted her. "My lady," he said, and drank the whole thing in one go.

"I thought we were keeping this a secret," she said, and stabbed a chunk of fruit with a fork.

"The closest household staff always knows everything." He poured himself another cup. "We won't tell anyone officially until the time's right. Now, if you're not going to eat that pastry, I'll just—"

Rey snatched it up and deposited it on her plate. "Oh no you don't," she warned, and spread blue butter on it. "We might be engaged, but unofficially or officially, there's still no way you're stealing my food."

~

It was easier than she'd thought to work Ben into the daily routine. She went down as usual in her training clothes (tight-fitting pants, high-collared tunic, boots, saber clipped to her belt) and marched the kids out to the field, directing them into the usual hour of meditation, then practicing using the Force to lift themselves off the ground in a seated position.

It had begun to drizzle again, and only Tem had succeeded in any sort of self-lifting when Ben appeared, walking toward them, hood drawn over his head against the rain.

"Master Ben!" Tem said. "I'm the _only one_ who can lift up using the Force!"

Ben didn't say anything, just sat down next to Rey and assumed a meditative position. "Pride is not becoming in a Jedi, Temiri," he said calmly. "Close your eyes and try it again."

Rey watched with surprise as Tem squeezed his eyes shut, trying so hard his face turned red, but unable to repeat his previous lift of perhaps two inches—and suddenly Ara, who'd kept her eyes closed the entire time, lifted a foot off the ground, floating in the air.

Dax shrieked in glee, and Ara's eyes flew wide open at the noise. She shrieked, stuck out her feet in a reflexive movement, and landed on her backside, eyes wide as saucers. "Master Rey," she gasped.

"You did it," said Rey, smiling. "And you didn't even know you were doing it. Can you do it again?"

"I was…" Ara looked bewildered. "Inside a tree. I could hear the sap rising. The water in the roots…"

"Show-off," Tem shouted angrily.

"I'm not a show-off!" she shouted back.

Ben barked out, "Enough!" and both of them went very quiet. "Tem. You worked very hard to accomplish something Ara did on accident. I have complete faith that you can do it again. Don't compare yourself to others. They aren't you. What comes easily to you might not be easy for them."

"Yes, Master," Tem said, subdued.

"Ara," Rey said, "I think you have a very…you slip into the Force very easily. You must learn to control it, and to be self-aware, or you could hurt yourself and others. You can't lose yourself inside it."

Ara nodded and got back into position, breathing deeply.

"You got this," said Ben to Rey. "I'll go ahead and walk the younger ones through a few fighting forms. Never too early to start defensive training, as Uncle Lu—" His voice caught in his throat, and he swallowed. "As Uncle Luke used to say. I'll just." He stood up and took U'yi, Mira, and Dax over to the shelter beneath a large tree, where Rey could watch him adjusting their footing and showing them how to hold their hands up.

She looked back at Ara and Tem, who were both sitting quietly, faces blank, eyes closed. She sensed the surge in the Force as slowly, their pair of them floated in tandem up off the ground, hovering about half a foot above the wet grass.

"And now, down," she said softly, and they sank down slowly, slowly, then hit the ground. "That was much better, you two."

"Can we go inside now?" Ara begged, rubbing her arms. "It's cold!"

"Nope. Go on over to Master Ben and do some exercises to warm up, and after that we'll see."

Tem hissed to Ara as they hurried away, "When grownups say _we'll see_ they mean _no_."

"Shh," she hissed back, and Rey stifled a laugh, following behind at a walk as they ran up to Ben, who had them standing in proper form in no time. He drilled them through a simple four-step routine until they had all gotten it correct, and once he was satisfied he spread out his arms.

"All right, now Tem, you come here and I'll go on the attack, you go on the defense."

Tem stepped up and got on the balls of his feet, successfully warding off Ben's measured "attack". Next up was Ara, then Dax, then Mira, then U'yi, who all had a grand time blocking and dodging his light punches.

"Well done, all of you," Ben said, looking down at his damp charges. "I think we should all go back to the house and have some hot chocolate, since I don't think the rain's going to let up."

"Race you!" shouted Tem, and took off running across the wet grass, Ara's gangly legs pumping furiously behind him. The three younger ones all took off, leaving Rey and Ben alone in the yard.

"Come on," he said, smiling, and took her hand as they walked back to the house together in the cool rain.

~

Two days later, they stood on the bridge of the _Organa_ , side by side and flanked by a solemn line of officers in full dress uniform as Commander Larma D'Acy, Captain Poe Dameron and Lieutenant Kaydel Ko Connix maneuvered a simple wooden box into position in front of an incinerator unit bolted to the hull, one end exposed into the vacuum of space. Beyond the large transparisteel viewport, Alderaan's sun illuminated the dead and desolate remains of the planet it had once given life to.

Senator Biss Tran stepped up, her crimson cloak bright as ever over her white gown. "We gather here today to mourn, but also to celebrate the life of Leia Organa," she said, her lips trembling slightly, both her hands clasped in front of her. "Today, we mourn the loss of a Princess of Alderaan; a Senator of the New Republic; a General of the Resistance. She was the brightest star in our skies, a natural leader, a humanitarian, a loving soul, and a beloved mentor. To name all her accomplishments would take days we do not have."

That got a few chuckles from the older crowd, and Senator Tran smiled. "I remember that I was running for my first term in the New Republic Senate when it was revealed that Leia's biological father was the man that became Darth Vader," she said. "She was humiliated—disgraced, even—but that did not stop her from doing what had to be done and going under the table to take action and form what became the Resistance. She never let her personal feelings stand in the way of what she knew was right. She knew that unjust laws are meant to be broken, that just because things are the way they are doesn't mean they should stay that way. She inspired many junior legislators and Senators, but most of all she inspired the people who followed her to the very end."

Kaydel was crying. Rey saw Poe hand her a handkerchief through the blurry mist of her own tears.

"So we have brought her here, to lay her to rest at last among the remains of her homeworld, which she witnessed the destruction of." Biss Tran looked out the viewports. "Some of you are young. Some have never seen Alderaan. There will come a day when the last being who walked on its surface and saw its mountains dies, and the living memory will be lost—but we will speak its name, and share its story as long as we have others to tell. Let that be the way we remember General Leia Organa. Tell her story to your children. To your friends. Tell her story as you speak of the University of Alderaan, of its rainforests and lagoons, of its snow-capped peaks. Let her be remembered in the same breath, and her memory will forever be entwined with the home she loved so much."

Beside Rey, Ben was shaking. She reached for his hand, still looking straight ahead, and he grasped hers so tightly her bones ached.

Senator Tran nodded once and stepped down, and Poe, Kaydel, and Commander D'Acy took three measured steps back from the coffin. D'Acy raised her pointed chin. "All hands, bury the dead," she called out, clear and loud, trembling slightly.

Poe and Kaydel turned in unison and lifted a folded cloth from a box. Slowly and ceremonially, they unfolded it, revealing the circular crest of the old Resistance, then laid it out flat over the coffin. Once that was completed, they stepped back. Tears were streaming down Poe's face.

"Firing party, present arms," D'Acy commanded, and an officer signaled from the upper levels of the bridge.

Poe and Kaydel turned and pushed the coffin into the open mouth of the incinerator until it was completely inside. One quick flick of a switch, and a semi-transparent shield sealed the tube just before iridescent flames engulfed the box in a thousand colors of heat: blue and red and orange and violet.

Someone began to sing, a low, hoarse male voice shaking with emotion, but on pitch perfectly. Rey wiped her eyes with her free hand and realized it was Ben.

                _Mirrorbright, shines the moon,  
                 its glow as soft as an ember_  
                _When the moon is mirrorbright,  
                take this time to remember_  
                _Those you have loved but are gone_  
                _Those who kept you so safe and warm…_

Some of the older officers recognized the song, and began to sing along with him. Biss Tran, wiping her eyes, joined in.

                _The mirrorbright moon lets you see  
                those who have ceased to be…_

The incinerator began to flicker slightly, the colors fading to a red glow.

                _Mirrorbright, shines the moon,_  
                _as fires die to their embers,_  
 _those you loved are with you still—_  
 _The moon will help you remember._

Larma D'Acy, tears dripping off the end of her nose, stepped forward and signaled. The end of the tube that was open to the vacuum of space hissed open with a muffled sound, and Leia's ashes floated out, scattered and sparkling in the light of the sun.

The ion cannons, somewhere deep below them, fired off once, twice, then three times, the blue trails glowing as they streaked away into the Graveyard. Rey couldn't keep her eyes off the glittering trail of ash. _She was flesh and blood,_ she thought numbly. _She  breathed and walked. She was real as I am, and now she's just nothing. Ashes in the sunlight._

"She is one with the Force," D'Acy said, choked up. She turned away, her back to the viewport. "All hands, at ease. The General has left the bridge."

Rey turned away, tears hot and close in her eyes. Her white Alderaanian-style gown was growing damp on the sleeves, and the exposed skin on her shoulders felt cold. Around her, people began to move and speak quietly, and Ben's hand in hers was shaking.

"Should have opted for the private ship," he said thickly, when he could get a word out.

"Thankfully everyone's giving us a bit of a wide berth," said Rey, sniffling. "Ugh, I told myself I wouldn't cry." She wiped her eyes again. Ben fished around in his pocket and handed her a napkin wipe. "Thank you."

"Ben," said a familiar voice, and Rey peered around Ben to see Poe, red-eyed and damp-looking. "Hey."

"Hey," said Ben. His voice cracked, and Poe's face sort of crumpled before he wrapped his arms around the taller man in an enormous hug. Ben returned the gesture, holding Poe tightly before they both let go and wiped their eyes.

"Hi, Poe," said Rey, still dabbing at her own eyes.

"Leia would have had the time of her life laughing at the three of us," said Poe, choked up, and Ben snorted through his tears.

"Oh, absolutely. 'What are you crying for?'" he imitated. "'Go do something useful. Put that energy to work.'"

Poe grinned. "Never thought I'd say this, but I'm going to miss having you around, Ben." He glanced over at Rey. "You too. Keep this guy in line, all right?"

Rey saluted. "You got it, Captain," she said. "Don't have too much fun without us."

"Fat chance," he shot back with a smile. "We'll keep in touch." Poe Dameron hugged her tight, and she buried her face in his uniform, smelling faint engine oil and the scent of ion and metal and leather, and then he was letting go and kissing her on the cheek, shaking Ben's hand, and just as quickly as he had been there he was gone, heading back down to Commander D'Acy.

~

They spoke to nearly every Senator that had come aboard, making their way around the room in a wide circle. Biss Tran, Sheendra Sella, Senator Rien To—all of them had come, and all of them made much of the occasion, sharing platitudes and honest sympathies. Ben, keeping his promise, slipped Rien To a piece of flimsiplast on which he had scrawled the family recipe for Alderaanian crepebread, and the Sullustan was nearly beside himself, shaking Ben's hands over and over, practically in tears.

"I will treasure it as I treasure her memory, my lord," he kept saying, over and over. "May you have a long life and great prosperity. Great prosperity."

Rey and Ben met Finn and Rose briefly at the very end, to quickly exchange quiet congratulations. Rey promised she'd try to come to their wedding, but Rose protested, saying it was only going to be a quiet affair at a judicial office and that she'd hate for Rey to come all that way for nothing.

"But we'll come to yours!" she exclaimed, then went pink as a few people turned to stare. "Oops. Sorry," she whispered.

"Don't worry about it," said Ben. "I think half the galaxy probably knows by now." He turned to exchange a few words with a senator Rey vaguely remembered, and Rose tapped her on the shoulder.

"Did he give you a ring?" she whispered, her face alight with excitement.

"Uh," said Rey, feeling embarrassed. "No. Not yet. He just asked and I said yes and since we were keeping it a secret from the public I don't think we even thought about…that."

"Oh." Rose nodded. "Well, maybe he's giving you something else, or planning a surprise. Anyway, I'll send you our new Holonet co-ords so you can send the invites once we get settled." She clasped Rey's hands. "So exciting!" 

Rey squeezed her hands back. "Isn't it?"

"All right, you two," said Finn, smiling. "Make like a handfruit and peel apart, huh?"

Rey grinned back at him. "You make sure you don't get into any trouble while I'm gone," she ordered.

"Understood," Finn said. "Oh, and I thought you'd like to know that the third kid from Canto Bight—Oni? He's been placed in temporary custody by the New Republic Office of Welfare and they're looking for his guardians. They think he has an aunt on Yavin, and they're trying to contact her."

"Oh, that's wonderful," said Rey, beaming. "I'll have Tem and Ara send a message as soon as I can."

"Good." Finn hugged her. "You take care."

"You too," she said, and let go of him, watching him and Rose walk away, hand in hand.

"We still have eighteen hours left on the pass," said Ben quietly.

Rey turned to look up at him. "Yes, I suppose we do. Is there anywhere in particular you want to go?"

"I do have a place in mind," he replied, in that half-toneless voice that usually meant he didn't want his purposes to be discovered. "I already made a call or two, so we shouldn't have any trouble making planetfall."

Her curiosity piqued, Rey walked beside him as he descended the balcony and departed the bridge, his gray cloak swaying as he walked. "Is it a surprise?" she asked as they entered the ship dock and the deckhands bowed.

"Yes," he said, allowing a hint of a smile to spread over his face. "I promise you will like it. In you go."

The ramp of the official gubernatorial vessel, the shining golden H-type Nubian yacht _Appenza_ , lowered, and Rey scurried up it and into the ship, sitting down in the passenger seat behind the pilot's seat and buckling herself in. "Do I have to close my eyes?" she asked as Ben swept in and seated himself behind the controls.

"Not until we're out of hyperspace," he told her. His fingers reached up, dancing across the controls and switches before he settled the headpiece over his ears. "Bridge, this is the _Appenza,_ requesting to depart."

" _We read, Appenza."_ The answering voice crackled a little. " _Departure cleared. You may proceed. May the Force be with you."_

Ben waited until the bay door was completely open before gunning the engines and sweeping out of the belly of the _Organa_ , slipping into the dark side of the ship. "Copy that, bridge. May the Force be with you all." He clicked the suppressors off and slid the hyperdrive lever into the forward position.

Stars stretched into blue and white streaks for the space of a breath, and the _Appenza_ disappeared into the vast emptiness of space.


	55. I Move The Stars

"All right, eyes closed, and no peeking," said Ben, hands on the lever. "Ready?"

Rey clapped her hands over her eyes, engulfing her in blackness. "Ready," she said.

With a gentle jerk, the _Appenza_ exited lightspeed and the engines quieted. Rey sat still in her seat, listening to Ben's breathing and the rustling of his robes.

There was a click, and he said, "Platform One, this is the _Appenza._ Ben Solo speaking. Are we clear to land?"

A crackle, and a static burst. " _Appenza, this is Platform One. Welcome. You may proceed to your coordinates."_

"But where _are_ we?" asked Rey, fighting the urge to peek through her fingers.

"Patience," Ben said, a smile in his voice, and she felt the ship yaw and roll a little. Without a visual cue, they seemed to reach the surface of the planet in a much shorter time than she'd thought.

"Can I look now?" she asked, her hands still covering her eyes.

"Not yet," said Ben, and she could hear the unbuckling of his harness and the hiss of the landing gear. "I'm going to unbuckle you." Rey felt his hands on her safety harness, the light pressure of his fingers clicking the release. He guided her up by the elbows to stand and walk to the exit ramp. "Uh, hold on," he said, as she heard the ramp descend. "I'm going to carry you down."

"All right," she said, her hands getting a little sweaty. Ben lifted her behind the knees and shoulders, and easily walked down the ramp. She felt the soft velvet of his clothes against her cheek, and as they made it to level ground and Ben kept walking, she could feel a gentle breeze, and hear a distant, rushing sound—rain?—and there was the sound of rippling water, and birdsong. 

"All right," he said, and set her on her feet. She felt his hands brushing her wrists. "You can open your eyes." She slowly pulled her hands down and blinked in the bright sunshine, squinting as her surroundings became clear.

They were standing in a great grassy meadow in a plateau, atop a ten-meter high cliff, full of blooming wildflowers in every color possible. Beyond the meadow, to her right, there was a wide lake which narrowed into a flowing stream, which became a waterfall off the edge of the cliff, and above the lake, an enormous, curved shelf of mountainous foothills loomed. Multiple waterfalls cascaded down their green faces, the sunshine catching the mist and refracting into rainbows.

Rey collapsed to her knees, mouth open.

Ben knelt down. "Are you all right? I didn’t mean to—"

"We're—is this—" Rey couldn't get the words out.

"Naboo," said Ben. "Varykino is down at the foot of the cliff. You can see the domes if you look."

"How did you—" Rey stood, knees weak, and clutched a hand to her chest. "How did you pull this off?"

"It belongs to me," he said simply. "As a member of the Naberrie family and a member of the Elder Houses, I mean. I sent in the paperwork and everything before we left for the Graveyard. The place was gifted back to Theed by a second cousin before Queen Doruna very graciously returned it to me. If—if you don't like it, I mean, we could always go to—"

Rey grabbed him around the chest and hugged him tightly, face buried in his cloak. "But you can't come here again for ten years," she gasped, and jerked back. "Ben, after today you're—"

"I know," he said. "I thought it would be a nice summer retreat for you and the students. Come out here, drag Yori and Tuppi and however many staff you want for a month or so. I'm sure they'll appreciate it." He smiled, an expression that didn't quite reach his eyes. "You can call it an early wedding gift. An engagement gift? One of those."

Rey opened and closed her mouth, feeling as though she might burst into tears. "Without you?" she managed.

"You'll be fine," he insisted. "I'll be fine. I'll lock myself up in the study and read books and datacrons all night. Maybe I'll grow a beard."

 _"Ben_ ," she choked, and hugged him again.

"Shh," he said gently, patting her back. "I'm here now. We still have seventeen hours. What do you want to do?"

Rey took a deep breath and pulled back, holding him at arm's length. "I have a few ideas."

~

They went down to the villa and changed their clothes, discarding their white funeral garb in grass-stained piles on the laundry floor. The place had been freshly aired out and stocked with food and clothing, waiting ready for their arrival like an old friend. It was mid-summer on Naboo, and the air was warm and breezy, carrying the scent of the water into the house.

After changing, they went back up to the meadow and explored. Rey leaped from stone to stone along the shore of the lake, shrieking in glee when she toppled into the water, and Ben followed behind her, splashing her with lake water and laughing when she splashed him back. They wound up throwing mud, and ended up rolling in the grass, laughing and smearing dirt into each other's hair, flowers tangled into their clothing.

As the sun began to set, Ben told Rey to go on back to the house, as he had to do a few engine checks on the _Appenza_. She kissed him and hurried down in the dusk, guided by the light of the moons and the blinking firebugs in the trees. Somewhere, a mournful-sounding bird was cooing in the dark.

She slipped into the largest bedroom, the one on the first floor, and turned the bathtub faucet on in the bathroom, stripping out of her muddy clothes as the water heated up and filled the tub. Rey was almost done washing, rinsing her hair clean of soap when she sensed Ben's presence and turned her head.

He was standing in the doorway to her bedroom. His hair was wet, he was clean—just showered, obviously, wearing a blue dressing robe and clutching a bouquet of wildflowers in his left hand.

Slowly, Rey stood up in the tub and faced him.

Ben's mouth worked like he couldn't figure out what to say. He swallowed, his eyes tracking down her naked, wet body, then looked back up. "I wanted," he said hoarsely, then trailed off as if he'd lost his train of thought.

"You wanted?" she prompted, taking a step out of the tub.

"Holy Force," he said, flushing deep pink, and looked at the floor. "I wanted to—ask you. Properly, this time. In a place that meant something." Rey tilted her head, baffled. Ben looked around vainly for a place to set his flowers, then handed them to her. She took them, the scent of outdoors clinging to the blossoms, and waited as he dug into his pocket.

Once he'd found what he was looking for, he knelt down on the stone floor, both knees planted to the ground as his robe flowed out in a lush pool of sapphire-colored cloth, and both hands turned up as he bowed his head. "Rey—will you accept this token, and bind yourself to me?"

She reached out and took the ring in his hands, almost afraid to touch it. It wasn't Hazian smelt, and it wasn't electrum, or gold, or silver. It was a plan, unassuming band of dark gray metal that looked rather as if it had been discolored by heat. It was set with a tiny, polished clear stone on the outside that was nearly swallowed by the surrounding ring, and incised on the inside with Aurebesh characters, the metal a dull gray gleam where the outer layer had been scored away. She squinted and read them out loud.

"'I move the stars'." Rey stared at it, then past it at Ben's bowed head, not knowing what to say, or do, or think.

Ben looked up. "It's from a poem by Nes Itor, a famous writer from Corellia," he told her. "I read it once a long time ago, and—I thought it was apt. It goes—um, it goes, _'If ever I lose you, when I stretch forth my hand from the place beyond the dead, I will seek you, find you, and move worlds and suns to touch you again. Remember, if ever I go. I live within the galaxy. I move the stars. I will come back for you'_."

Shivers ran down her spine. "And…the stone?" Rey tilted it in her fingers, watching the light sparkle off it.

"A fragment of kyber crystal. The metal—the metal is from one of the old vent shafts on my saber. I made it myself before we left for the Graveyard."

Rey's fingers shook a little as she slipped the ring onto the third finger of her left hand, as she'd seen Rose wear hers. "I accept your token," she whispered. "And I pledge to bind myself to you."

He looked up, relief flooding his face, and wrapped his arms around her waist, bathwater soaking into his fine dressing gown. "I swear," he said, hot against her bare skin, "that I will do everything in my power for you. Anything you want. Anything you need. Just ask and it's yours."

Rey stroked his hair with her free hand. "We should find a vase for these flowers," she said softly.

Ben stood up and ran a hand through his hair. "Ah, right. I'll just let you get dried off, and we—are you hungry? We can eat in the dining room—or the small living room, it's cozy, fireplace and the—"

"The small living room," she told him, smiling at his eagerness, and he nodded, then hurried back out of the room, leaving her there with the flowers.

~

"You know," Rey said hoarsely, sometime later, "it's a good thing wildflowers grow everywhere here in the summer."

Ben rolled onto his side, a bright red bloom stuck in his hair and a pattern of stems pressed into his other side. "Sorry. I'll pick you four more. Five." She giggled. "All right. Six."

Rey draped her bare arm across his chest, picking at the leaves that were mashed to his shoulder. "You smell like the meadow," she informed him, letting her head rest on his shoulder. "Like green things."

"Good," he said, stroking her hair out of her face and coming away with squashed purple petals. "We might just need another shower."

 Rey laughed and plucked a few uncrushed blossoms from the living room rug, tucking the stems into his thick hair. "There. Very pretty." He was a pale gold in the firelight, flushed with color and smiling at her, and she thought she'd never seen him look more at peace.

He heaved a gentle sigh, lifting her head up and down as he inhaled and exhaled. "Green things," he murmured.

Carefully, she reached up and tucked his hair back, away from his ear, her fingers tracing the large outer curve. Ben shivered, his left hand tracing up and down her back. "You know," he said, rather huskily, "traditionally when an Elder House member engages someone in an oath to wed, they…abstain from the pleasures of the bedchamber until the wedding itself."

Rey let her fingers trace down lower, to his throat and shoulder. "Mmm. Why's that?"

"Something about absence making the bond stronger." His hand cupped her backside, and she slowly rolled her hips forward, up against his thigh. "Which, I'm sure is true. And since we're going back to Birren, the minute we get back and announce the engagement, someone's going to tastefully inform us of that fact."

"Let's not announce the engagement until the day before the wedding, then," Rey said, her other hand stroking up and down the side of his thighs.

"Unfortunately," Ben said, eyes half-shut, "my groom caught me with the ring and almost flew through the roof in excitement. The whole house knows by now, and that's including the Arbiter and the Master of Ceremonies."

Rey groaned. "Is that why Yori couldn't stop fussing and smiling as we were leaving?"

"Yep." Ben tucked his free arm behind his head. "Luckily, I did have a chat with the Master of Ceremonies before we left, and he says in light of the situation, and due to the fact several nobles have inquired as to our respective marriage status, we're welcome to shorten the engagement length from the customary year and a day to four months. He'll double check with the Elder Houses, but we should be able to pull it off."

"Four _months?_ " Rey raised her head. "I take it back. I won't marry you, I'll just continue sneaking into your room at night for the rest of my life. Wait, _can_ I take it back?"

"Well, as I was informed by the Arbiter, if you don't marry me, there's an entire line of noblewomen—and a few noblemen—willing to come by on a rotating basis and be entertained until I finally bite the strap and marry one of them, which I'm expected to do while I hold the office anyway." Ben stretched and relaxed, eyes half closed. "And mistresses are allowed, but not considered a legal binding. So, _technically_ , you could rescind your acceptance, but…"

"I'm not bloody well sharing you, Ben Solo, so you can think again about that," Rey said hotly. " _Mistress._ Fine. I'll do it."

"I'll make it worth your while," he said, and dragged her up his body until she was pressed against his swelling cock again. "Fourteen more hours."

Rey shifted and moved against him, sighing softly. "Fourteen," she whispered, and buried her hands in his hair, dislodging the flowers slightly. "You better make it worth my while."

"Mmm." He reached down and did something deft and smooth with his fingers that made her moan and jerk up against his hand. "That I will do. Remember, I'm your servant." His thumb brushed the most sensitive nub in the front, and she spluttered. "I intend to serve you very well."

"H—how will you know if you—ooh—if you’ve made it worth my wh— _Ben_ —"

"Easy," he whispered, spreading her tender flesh with two fingers and easing himself inside. "If you can walk to the bedroom tonight, I haven't made it worth—your— _while._ "

Rey gripped him by the hair as he bottomed out and grabbed at her hips to steady himself. "Harder, damn you," she panted, and Ben obeyed, canting his hips upward again and again until she frantically held him down and ground out her climax, unexpectedly releasing a hot gush of fluid as she did, _oh Force not again_ , and Ben was groaning, and before she knew what was happening he had her turned over onto her stomach and after a few more quick thrusts she was coming again, and again, and again.

Most of the next hour passed in a hazy blur of heat, sweat, and straining. Ben was inexorable, a machine bent on exactly one thing. His mouth found places she didn't know existed; bit, licked, sucked. She couldn't breathe, she didn't want to breathe; she thought she would die if it kept going, but she never wanted it to stop.

He rolled her onto her knees, bent her over with her arms restrained behind her back, and pushed into her slow, cruelly and tantalizing, in and out. Rey tried hard to push back against him, but he held her fast, and after a wordless struggle, she gasped out, "Kylo, _please._ "

Ben stilled his hips. "Call me that again," he ordered, his voice gone immovable and black.

Rey twisted her head and clenched her fingers tight. "I—Kylo, Kylo _Ren_ , please—" She couldn't think straight. Her brain was a fog of sheer need and desperation.

"Please _what_?" he demanded, maintaining the horribly slow strokes.

"K—karking _harder, please_ ," she begged, and he gave her what she needed, five hard, solid thrusts, and she was coming again, so hard she was half sure she was going to black out—or maybe that was the dehydration—stars in her field of vision and a deathly dry feel to her mouth. _I can't possibly do this again,_ she thought, and at the same time, _I need it again, I need it._

Ben rolled her back onto her back and stroked the sweaty hair out of her face. She reached out with the Force, barely able to latch onto a thing through her own exhaustion, and was hit with his own arousal, so neglected it was reaching the point of pain, and—

"You _like_ —when I call you that—in bed," she panted, trying to kiss his hands as they clumsily pushed her hair away.

"Yes," he growled, and bent to kiss her collarbone. "Only you. Only like this." His teeth joined her lips and pressed a mark into her skin. "Stay with me. One more round."

"I want—want you to come—" Rey opened her legs and he pressed inside, groaning from somewhere deep inside his throat. " _Kylo_ —"

He let out a wordless noise, halfway between a sob and a growl, and sped up his strokes, one hand holding her by the shoulder and the other one pressed to her cheek. She could hear him through the Force: _ashamed should be ashamed the name of a murderer the name of **me me me—**_

"There's no—shame here," she panted between his thrusts,babbling out words as quickly as they came into her head. "None. Just—you and me and the space between us. Ren. _Ren_ , it's only you, always, Ren, Ben, _Kylo_ —" The singular thought of him taking her against a wall in his old black robes and cowl overwhelmed her, and she came one last time, nails digging into his skin as she clenched out her body's last ounce of energy, shaking like a leaf.

With a choked-off gasp, Ben pulled out of Rey and finished the last stroke with his hand, pumping out spurts of whitish fluid onto her stomach as she lay there, limp and exhausted. For a moment, neither of them spoke, Ben holding himself up with one shaking arm, his hair stuck to his forehead and cheeks with sweat.

"I'll get a cloth," he finally croaked. "Be right back."

Rey was slipping into a dazed sort of post-coital nap, warmed by the fire, when he came back and gently wiped off her belly, folding the cloth and using it to clean himself off. He handed her a glass of water, which she gulped down mostly, spilling some over her chest. She felt him sort of fold over and lie down heavily, one arm tucked up across her chest, and she sensed an irritating smugness.

"You be quiet," she rasped, turning her head.

"Up against the wall, huh?" he teased, his voice rough and soft. Rey tried to muster the energy for a snort, but couldn't quite make a sound louder than a wheeze. He raised his head and kissed her on the shoulder. "We're going to be sore in the morning if we sleep on the floor in here. Think you can make it to the bedroom?"

Rey groaned and pushed herself up to a sitting position. "As if sleeping on the _floor_ will make me sore." Her arms ached and her legs felt like wobbly jelly. Not to be daunted, she shoved herself to her feet, then collapsed as her legs gave out and dropped her back to the floor.

Ben was up in a flash and lifted her up into his arms, carrying her back out to the bedroom. "I see I _have_ made it worth your while," he said coolly, and she scrunched her nose up at him before letting her head rest on his shoulder.  

"Just get me into bed," she mumbled, "and for Force's sake, don't drop me."

"Never," he promised, and kissed her forehead before taking her through the doorway.


	56. Let's Have A Talk

The next morning was bright, calm, and warm with the promise of a beautiful summer day. Rey and Ben lay tangled in the sheets, drowsing and holding each other until Ben's chrono beeped, alerting them that they only had two hours before they had to be back on Birren.

They dragged themselves out of bed, dressed, packed up their clothes, and ate a quick breakfast before hiking back up to the _Appenza_. Rey sat down gingerly in the copilot's seat, still fairly sore from the previous night, and performed the preflight checks as Ben took a quick moment at the bottom of the ramp to sit and look at the flowers and the lake, and listen to the waterfalls, one last time.  

A few minutes later, he entered the cockpit and sat down in the pilot's seat, closing the ramp and engaging the engines. "I'll miss it here," he said quietly, and they lifted off, leaving the lake behind as they ascended into the atmosphere, and beyond, to the stars.

~

"Master Rey! Master Ben!"

The ground transport back to the Great Hall had barely come to a stop on the front lawn before Rey scrambled off the shuttle and caught both Ara and U'yi at the same time, hugging them close. "You can't possibly be taller," she exclaimed, measuring Ara's height with her hand. "You've grown a whole inch in the last three days, I swear."

Ben picked up Dax and Miri, one on each hip. "Time for some more clothes," he said, smiling.

"How was the—the funeral?" Tem asked, chin tilted up in an attempt to make himself look taller.

"It was very nice," Rey told him. "There were a lot of important people there. How did everyone get on while we were gone?"

"Pretty good," said Ara. "I mean, pretty _well_. Tem thinks he's in charge when you're not here."

"I'm the oldest," Tem said. "The med-droid said so at our checkups yesterday. I'm eleven and a half, and you're only eleven." He turned to Rey, quite self-important. "Emdee says we're mal-malnutrin."

"Malnu _tritioned_ ," Ara said, crossing her arms.

"Malnutritioned," Tem repeated, scowling. "And Dax is seven and U'yi is seven and a half and Mira is five."

Ara was not to be deterred. "Well, I'm the tallest."

"You are not!"

"I am too!"

"Tem," said Ben warningly, and Tem's mouth snapped shut. "All right. Let's all go back to the house. We have something important to tell the Arbiter."

"Is that why he's been here for a day?" Ara trotted alongside Rey. "What happened?"

Rey set U'yi down. "Oof, you're getting pretty solid." To Ara, she said, "You'll see once we get inside. I promise it's good news."

"Good," said Ara confidently, and followed her all the way to the house.

~

Most of the staff, the Arbiter Lord Dinys, and the Master of Ceremonies were already assembled in the Great Hall when Rey, Ben, and the children entered, and they all turned their faces expectantly towards the party as they stood in the doorway.

"Ah," said Ben, looking around awkwardly.

"Come up here," said Lord Dinys, smiling, and Matron Yori bustled forth to direct the children to a front row seat as Ben and Rey got up on the platform. "Now, traditionally, this would be announced at a very large gathering of nobility, but since you, my lord Governor, made it clear before you left—that is, as to the situation, I shall stand in for the nobles, and send out messages as needed."

He waited politely, and Ben blinked, then realized what he was supposed to say. "I thank you, Lord Dinys," he said, and turned to address the staff. "Madame Rey—that is, um. I've officially asked her to marry me. She's accepted."

There was a second of silence from the assembled crowd, then Ara burst out, " _Whaaaat?"_ in such a delighted and shocked tone that everyone started laughing and talking to each other in animated tones.

Lord Dinys chuckled and took hold of both their right hands, pressing one to the other. "As they have come, let no one part," he said quite officially. His voice dropped to a lower tone and he said quickly to Rey, "My lady, you're now officially Lady Rey to all but your students, who may, of course, still call you Master. The appropriate messages will be sent out to the Elder Houses."

"Thank you," said Rey, slightly caught off guard. "I thought that wasn't until we actually, you know, got married…"

"Oh, no, a betrothal period is quite as legally binding on Birren, title-wise. Congratulations, my lord," he said to Ben, who smiled and shook his hand. "Now, you'll probably want to get some refreshment. Oh, and I do believe the betrothal shall last for four months precisely, as agreed upon by your lordship and the Master of Ceremonies?"

"Yes," said Ben. "And we intend to… honor Birren's traditions during the betrothal." He flushed slightly pink, and Rey looked at the floor, too embarrassed for words.

Lord Dinys smiled. "Wonderful. All arrangements will be made. Neither of you have a thing to worry about. All shall be well, my lord. My lady. Pardon me."

He stepped off the platform to exchange words with the Master of Ceremonies and Rey gripped Ben's hand tightly.

Four months. That wasn't too bad. She could pull that off. Right?

 _You'll be fine,_ said Ben in her mind, a gentle presence. _Let's hope we're just too distracted with the kids and the inevitable parties to think about it._

 _Fat karking chance,_ she grumbled, and Ben coughed delicately next to her. "All right," he said, addressing the goggle-eyed kids in the front row. "It is…" he checked his chrono, "precisely one-fifteen in the afternoon, so why aren't you out on the lawn meditating yet?"

Tem kicked off his seat and bowed. "Yes, Master Ben!" he shouted, and raced out of the Hall, followed by the three younger children and Ara, bringing up the rear.

"I suppose you have things to do," Rey told him. "I'll go on ahead."

He squeezed her hand. "Hurry back," he said softly, and she smiled, then let his hand go as she stepped off the dais, dodging congratulations and smiling and showing off her ring.

~

"Can I be in the wedding?" Ara asked for the fifth time as they sat around the kitchen counter in the guest wing eating dinner. Rey was thumbing through a datapad full of information on what constituted an Elder House wedding ceremony. "You need an attendant, right?"

"I don't know yet," said Rey. "Mira, don't get down, drink your milk first."

"Dax got down!" Mira insisted.

"Dax got down because he finished his milk." Rey gave her a stern look over the top of the datapad, and Mira sulkily gulped down the rest of her milk, then slid off the chair and ran pell-mell into the living room to join Dax and U'yi, leaving Tem and Ara alone with Rey.

Ara popped a bite of meat pastry into her mouth as Rey frowned and scanned through a few more Holonet articles. "It looks like traditionally there's a bridal party of young girls… you'd walk behind me and hold my skirt? How big is the…" her voice trailed off. "Oh, wow."

"Let me see!" Ara said excitedly, and stretched her neck around to look at the datapad. On the screen, a Twi'lek model was posing in what appeared to be a traditional style of wedding gown, an enormous confection of heavy silk, lace, gems, and a transparent veil on her head. "Oh, _wow_ ," she echoed.

"That's. A bit much," said Rey faintly.

"We should maybe pick a smaller one," Ara said. "So you can walk."

"Yeah." Rey swiped through a few more. "Oh, that one is nice." She pointed at a simpler dress with a flowing silk skirt and a great deal of flowers embroidered on the sleeves.

"That one is so pretty," said Ara wistfully.

"Mmm. Little bit low in the front," said Rey. "But I do like it. I might ask the Mistress of Wardrobe what she thinks. And if you want to walk behind me, we'll have to make you a dress too."

Ara's face lit up. Tem scoffed loudly. "How come _she_ gets to be in the wedding?" he demanded.

"Because she asked," Rey told him. "Do you want to be in it?"

He scowled. "No," he said stubbornly.

"Finn and Rose are coming," she coaxed.

Tem narrowed his eyes. "Really?" he said.

"Yep. I'm sending them invitations as soon as I can." Rey let that hang, and pretended to go back to looking at floral arrangements.

"What do boys do in a wedding?" Tem asked after a moment, trying to be aloof.

"Well, it says here that you'd be an assistant, like Ara. You hang out with Master Ben all morning, then you assist the groom up to the front of the Hall, _then_ you sit down on the first row and wait for it to finish. After that you walk with Ara back down the aisle behind us."

"I can do that, that's easy," Tem said. "Do I get new clothes, too?"

"Yes," Rey told him, smiling. "And we'll make sure they're comfortable. Promise."

"Thanks, Master Rey," he said, sliding off his stool with a grin, and ran out into the living room, where she could faintly hear him informing the younger kids that _he_ was going to be in the _wedding_ , sounding very grown-up and important.

" _Boys_ ," said Ara, rolling her eyes. "As long as I don't have to hold his hand."

"No, you don't," Rey said, laughing. "And I'm sure he'll outgrow it. Matron Yori says kids 'on the cusp of adolescence' are sometimes pretty moody and don't know what they want."

"What's ado-les-cence?" asked Ara curiously, looking over Rey's shoulder and tapping on an image of a handsome groom, dressed in a black and white suit.

"Oh, it just means when you start becoming a grown-up," Rey said. "You know, when you get armpit hair and, um, other hair, and your face goes all spotty and you get really tall really fast."

Ara stared at her blankly. "My armpits _what?"_

Rey swallowed. "It's…did you never…" She set the datapad down delicately. "You said you were eleven, right?"

"Yes. The medical droid looked at all my teeth and said I was. I thought I was almost ten." Ara looked a bit discomfited. "I guess I lost count."

"Okay." Rey tried to go through her general memory of how the old women on Jakku had explained what was happening to her. "Well, you're small for an eleven year-old, probably because you didn't eat a whole lot at Canto Bight. Which is what malnutrition means. So…adolescence might start early for you, or it might start later…I can't exactly remember which." _I'm completely making a mess of this._ "We can ask the droid."

"But how do I know when I'm doing adolescence?" Ara demanded.

"Well—you'll grow hair here," Rey said, and lifted her own arm above her head to show Ara the dark brown, three days-growth worth of stubble. "Like this. You can shave it if you like, or leave it how it is. Also, your legs get hairier."

Ara sat with her mouth open as if she'd never really thought about the concept before. She lifted both her arms over her head and peered at her white armpits, where sure enough, two thin, curly ginger hairs were sprouting on the right side. "Oh, _no_ ," she said, horrified.

"It's all right," said Rey, reassuringly. "I promise you're not going to die. You've still got a ways to go."

"What _else_ happens?" Ara asked.

"Well, um." Rey wasn't sure how to broach this subject. "Do you notice anything about my body that you maybe don't have on your body?"

Ara squinted and looked her up and down for a moment. "Um." Blushing, she pointed to Rey's chest, and Rey nodded, somewhat relieved.

"Yes! Okay. Those…will start growing. And it might be sore when they do, but that's normal." She cast back in her mind for any other confusing instances during her adolescence. "And about two years after your, um, chest starts developing, you'll start your monthlies. But we can talk about that later, if you want."

"Monthlies?" Ara looked flabbergasted, and Rey had to choke down a smile, remembering how horrified she'd been at her age, listening to the old women on Jakku.

"Yep. Every—I think the norm is anywhere from twenty-one to twenty-eight days—you might get a lot of cramps and for a few days you'll…have a lot of old dead blood come out of your, erm, well—it'll be in your underwear. It happens to almost every human woman. Don't worry, I was pretty grossed out too when I was told."

Ara looked disgusted, but at the same time, fascinated. " _Blood?_ "

"Yeah." Rey patted her on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it. It won't be for a while, I'm sure. And when it does happen, you just come and find me, and I'll make sure you have a lot of…things to put in your basics to catch the blood and not get any on your clothes. And you can have as much hot chocolate as you want," she added quickly.

"You mean _you_ have them, too?"

"Not anymore," said Rey. "I got an implant put in right…here," she tapped her thigh, the reassuring little rod hard under her fingers. "It makes it so I don't have any monthly cycles, which it also means that unless I get it removed, I can't have a baby."

"Oh, the monthlies mean you _can_ have a baby?" asked Ara, interested all over again.

"Right. Exactly." Rey was quite pleased with herself, having skirted the whole conversation about sex, and took a sip of blue milk.

"Well, then I need to get one of those," Ara said. "I can't have a _baby_."

Rey nearly snorted the blue milk out her nose. "Um, you don't just get a baby out of nowhere by yourself," she choked. "The monthlies just mean you _could_ have a baby if you wanted to try." _I spoke too soon. Force, help me._

"How do you try to get a baby?" Ara demanded.

"You have to, ah." Rey dabbed her mouth with her napkin. "Well, you worked in the fathier stables on Canto Bight, didn't you? Didn't they breed them there?"

"Oh, yeah," said Ara. "We had to help Bargwill get the fillies into the paddocks for breeding in the spring. There were grownups that handled the stallions, because they were so big and got _really_ touchy around the fillies."

"Right," said Rey. "And the fillies were in estrus? I mean, it was at a time when they were able to, you know. Foal?"

"Yeah!" Ara said, brightening. "They would make weird noises and wiggle their backsides. And then a stallion would pick one, and he—" She paused, thought for a moment, and then got very pale. " _Oh._ "

"Yeeeeah," said Rey awkwardly.

"Ewwww _,"_ said Ara, and clapped her hands to her mouth. " _Humans_ do that?"

"Bar the wiggling and the biting. Mostly. Yes. Similar. So now you see why you don't have to worry about a baby? It only happens when you, erm. Do that."

Ara slid off her stool. "If a boy tries to do that to _me_ I'll kick him right in the stomach!" she said loudly, both her fists clenched.

"If anyone tries to do _anything_ to you that you don't like or that makes you feel unsafe, you come and get me," Rey told her. "I don't think anyone will, but I just want you to know that I'm here if you need help or want to talk. All right?"

"Okay," said Ara, relaxing slightly. "Thanks, Master Rey." She gave Rey a quick hug, which Rey returned warmly, then headed off through the kitchen door. "Ugh,  _stallions,_ " she said to herself as she left.

Rey let out a huge sigh, went to the cupboard, and poured herself a drink.

 It was going to be a very long four months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEWS AND UPDATES!! I have finally... finished... this monster. New chapters will be updated every 2 days as far as I can make it, we're going to have a total of 61 chapters and an epilogue, and I've created an umbrella 'verse series for this fic, A Handful of Stars, where I'll be posting deleted scenes, author's notes, bits and parts that didn't make it into the final cut, and maybe author's commentary if enough people request a particular chapter for me to dissect--so if that's something anyone's interested in make sure to subscribe to the series itself! Thanks for reading!


	57. Month One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a pinterest board where I've been slapping up moodboards for this fic if anyone's interested: https://www.pinterest.com/imcarriemarie/llri-moodboard/
> 
> Also CW for mention of miscarriage.

It wasn't bad, per se.  At least, it didn't start out badly.

During the first week, Rey was dragged from person to person from the time she woke up to the time she escaped into the yard for training with the children. Four hours of blessed quiet, then back inside the house for dinner and signing off on invitations and about twelve thousand different choices to make regarding flowers, dresses, parties, food, drinks, music, color schemes, and seating.

By the end of the second week her tolerance levels were absolutely spent, and there was a brief and final occasion in the dining room that involved a glass of wine embedded into the wall paneling, one terrified assistant to the Master of Ceremonies, a broken pitcher, and a very large pudding.

"I have _told you_ ," the kitchen maids heard through the door, "about a hundred times that I _do not care about any of this karking detail!_ Just bloody get food on the table for people to eat, make sure the colors aren't bright enough to peel the eyelids off a gundark, and for Force's sake just pick some kriffing flowers from the gardens! Am I _clear?"_

They repeated bits of it to themselves in hushed tones, horrified and giggling, especially because the assistant in particular was rather impolite to most of the staff he considered "beneath his status" and took great pleasure in haranguing people about details, which mysteriously stopped the day after what the maids started calling "The Incident".

(A woodworker had to be brought up from the city to remove the glass and re-panel the wall. Rey sent him a wedding invitation.)

She didn't see Ben much at all. If she was lucky, he'd appear for dinner once every few days and hurriedly shovel food down, then rush back out for suit fittings or paperwork or whatever else they had him busy with. If she couldn't make it out at one for training, he would go in her place. It was very much like a relay race. They lived in the same house and their paths barely crossed. Which, Rey reflected, was a good thing, considering the whole abstaining for four months deal.

It was not, however, conducive to any sort of decent communication regarding the children's training or medical check-ups, as they soon found out.

Mira ate Viamarr blackroot at dinner one night four weeks in and went into anaphylactic shock. Rey screamed for medical help as the little Zabrak girl's face and lips swelled and turned bright red; Ara sobbed, frozen on her seat and U'yi barreled for the door without a second thought.

The med-droid arrived along with Ben and U'yi minutes later and administered a dose of epinephrine as Mira struggled for air, then rolled back and spoke in its soothing, light tone as Rey clutched the little girl to her chest and rocked her as her breathing slowly became less wheezing and labored. "Mira's record shows that she was diagnosed last week with an allergy to several different kinds of fungi."

"I didn't receive that information," Rey snapped, and glanced up at Ben, who was ashen-faced.

"No, because I did," he said, and knelt down. "MD-49 here is programmed to report to me. I—nobody reprogrammed the protocol, and I forgot to tell you."

"We," said Rey, sounding strangled, "need to fix that. _Now_."

 Ben quickly turned to handle the droid while Mira squeaked out a few breaths and opened her eyes.

"Master Rey," she managed, and Rey hugged her tight, trying desperately not to cry. "I forgot to tell you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," said Rey. "It's not your fault, we should have fixed the protocol on the droid. Shh." She patted her hair and sat her upright, making sure she could breathe while Dax watched with wide eyes.

"He's fixed," Ben told her, and patted the exoshell of the droid.

"Are there any other things I need to know about any of the kids?" Rey demanded.

MD-49's ocular lenses flickered. "Arashell has grown another half inch. Temiri should be in larger shoes by the end of the month, and U'yi has a slight grain intolerance. That is all."

"Thank you," she said coldly, and the droid rolled away. She felt rather bad immediately. It wasn't Emdee's fault he'd been programmed. "U'yi, thank you for running so fast to get Emdee."

U'yi nodded gravely, then came over to sit by Mira and patted her face, where the swelling was still visible, but receding. "Sick," he said.

"Yep, she's better now, though." Rey said. "See, she can breathe just fine."

Ben hesitated, and Rey sensed the desire to stay, to apologize, to hug Mira tightly. "Mira, you're feeling better?"

She nodded. "Yes, Master Ben," she told him, and took a big breath to show him. "My lips are all tingly."

"That will go away," Rey promised. "All right. We've had enough excitement for tonight, I think. Time for bed."

~

She tucked Mira in that night, Ben anxiously haunting the outer hall as Rey kissed her goodnight and told her a short story about a porg and a vine-tiger she'd invented a few days ago that was Mira's new favorite bedtime story.

"…and the porg jumped up on the great big tiger's back, and from then on, they were best of friends," she finished softly, and kissed Mira on the forehead before stealing away back to the door and shutting it behind her.

"I'm so sorry," Ben said immediately as soon as they were out of earshot.

"I know you are," she said, and plopped down on the sofa. The fire was still going, and the warmth seemed to seep back into her body. "Force, Ben—she could have _died._ "

"I know," he said, sounding shaken, and sat on the other end of the sofa. "I—Emdee told me and I told myself, oh, I'll tell Rey as soon as I can, and someone came into the office wanting a signature on some permit, and I forgot. I just forgot."

Rey clutched her arms around herself, a dull ache niggling somewhere in her belly. "It doesn't matter," she said, tired. "She's alive. Emdee got there in time. Just. We need to probably work out communications a little better."

"I absolutely agree," he said. "Maybe we should run memos via the staff? Or even via datapads, that would work fine as long as we remembered to check them regularly."

"I don't have time to check a karking datapad every morning, noon, and night," Rey said angrily. The dull ache was getting worse, and she hoped vaguely she wasn't getting sick from the stress, or about to throw up. "Just—I don't know, send your groom with a note or something."

"What, like a list of everything I was told the previous day?"

"If it relates to the kids, yes," she snapped. "This is supposed to be a partnership and you're the one getting all the information, Ben—I can't fly this blind, we have _five kids_ to look after and I need to know these things!"

"Rey—" He looked baffled and hurt. "I'm trying to handle all the wedding planning. You pushed that onto me."

"What?" Rey gaped at him. "No, I told that stupid assistant to just pick some bloody colors—"

"But you can't just—"

She lurched up off the sofa and pointed at him. "I told that guy a thousand times, I am _not_ going to—"

"Rey," he said urgently, staring at the sofa.

" _What?_ " she demanded, and looked down to see a dark stain, just the size of her thumb, precisely where she had been sitting.

Neither of them spoke for a moment.

"Oh, _kark me_ ," Rey said, and raced to her room, Ben in hot pursuit.

~

Squatting over her commode, Rey fought tears, her heart sounding so loud that it thudded in her ears. She could sense Ben outside the door, pacing.

"Ben," she said, trying to get the words out.

"Yes, I'm here," he said immediately, sounding as if his mouth was pressed to a crack.

"I need you to—please go get Matron Yori, and tell her I need—things for my cycle." Her head was spinning, and the ache in her guts wasn't making it better. "And get Emdee up here to authorize a mild painkiller. Please."

"Yori for cycle products, Emdee for pain. On it," he said, and she heard footsteps dying away as he strode out.

As soon as his footsteps faded, Rey pressed down on her thigh and felt the little rod beneath her skin, the constant little presence that had been such a relief for so long. _It must have broken,_ she thought, and pressed her thumb to the thing. _Or is it just not working? How long has it not been working?_ Frantically, she tried to trace back in her mind to any time where it might have broken. _Did it break on the Finalizer? That was more than a month ago. If it broke over a month ago and I'm just now getting my cycle, is this just regular, or is this…_

She angrily fought back tears. _Stupid hormones,_ she thought savagely. _Of course you're not pregnant, you moof-milker. You would have known before now. Right? And even if you were, it doesn't matter now. It doesn't matter now…_

Footsteps approached, and she heard Matron Yori tapping at the door. "My lady?"

Rey wrenched herself up off the commode and flushed, holding a wad of toilet tissue between her legs. "Just a second," she called, and waddled to the door. The last thing she wanted to do was have Yori see her like that.

The matron, dressed in her nightrobe, handed her a flat, unassuming box. "His Lordship didn't specify what you preferred, so I just brought you everything," she informed her gently. 

"Yeah, it's never, um, come up before now," Rey said, hot-faced. "I think my implanted contraceptive has failed."

"Ah," said Yori. "I'm sure Emdee can offer you a range of solutions, so have no fear about that, dear. Oh, your dress is stained in the back. I can have it sent down to laundry, if you like."

"Please, yes," Rey said gratefully.

A slight mechanical whirring grew louder, and Yori peeked back over her shoulder. "Ah, and here's Emdee. Leave the gown on the chair and I'll have Maella fetch it. I leave you in the hands of our most capable physician." Yori drew back. "Good night, my lady. Feel better."

"Good night, Matron, and thank you," Rey said gratefully as Yori disappeared from the door, replaced by Emdee and Ben.

"Lady Rey," said Emdee, and extended a limb, a tiny box sliding out and holding a single green pill. "Your pain medication. Place on the tongue."

"Thank you," Rey said, and picked it out of the box before popping it into her mouth and letting it dissolve on her tongue in a burst of fruity fizz. "Erm. Emdee, I don't suppose you're equipped for general…" She glanced at Ben, found she couldn't look at him in the eyes, and looked back at Emdee. "For, erm, feminine needs?"

"I am equipped to perform nearly every health procedure needed on almost 500 species and 100 different types of young-bearing or egg-laying beings," he informed her.

"Great. Can you please—well, first of all, I would like you to do a blood test and tell me if there's anything…out of the ordinary, and then I need my contraceptive implant replaced." Rey refused to look at Ben, but at the words _blood test_ he immediately went rigid.

"Of course." Emdee extended another one of his multiple limbs. "Place your finger into the recession," he said, and Rey did so, jerking slightly when a miniscule needle jabbed her in the fingertip.

"Results in a minute," he said, and rolled up to her leg, scanning her thigh with some sort of light that made the implant, just beneath her skin, light up. "This is a TI-4R5, my lady. I regret to inform you they were taken off the market over three years ago for malfunctioning. I can remove it right now and replace it with a TI-4R8, the best model there is, approved by eighty planetary medical boards. Side effects are minimal, except for some site soreness. You will not menstruate, and you will be effectively sterile for the next five years."

"Should we…talk?" Ben asked quietly.

"What's there to talk about?" Rey said, still not looking at him. "Emdee, that sounds great."

His ocular lenses flashed green. "Results are in. Your blood is entirely normal. There are no high levels of human chorionic gonadotropin. You are, however, slightly anemic. I recommend iron tablets or a diet rich in dark greens."

Rey closed her eyes and sank to the floor, the box of necessities clutched under her arm. "Thank you," she managed, and she was really crying now, whether from sheer relief or something else she didn't know. Ben was looking at her, unspeaking, face a blank wall.

"This is supposed to be a partnership," he said quietly, and Rey, ashamed, bent her head until it touched the box.

"Emdee, can you give us a moment?" she asked, choked up, and the droid rolled into a corner, engaging in low power mode.

Ben carefully knelt down and looked at her for a moment, his eyes searching hers. "You were afraid you were having a miscarriage," he said, and there was no question in his voice.

"Yes," said Rey. "I thought—I thought maybe it broke on the _Finalizer_ since I was being slammed around so much and—if it had broken that long ago, there would only be one reason my cycle suddenly started forty days later. I just—I wanted to be sure."

He exhaled softly and clenched his hand into a fist, then released it. "I see," he said. "And you—did you—I mean, if you _were,_ and it was—if—would you be upset, or—relieved, or—"

"I—I don't know," she said honestly. "I never—I don't think I'd be a great mother."

He snorted. "You're co-parenting-slash-mentoring five children with the former Supreme Leader of the First Order and you think _you'd_ be a terrible parent?"

Rey had to smile at that. "Anyone can get used to anything, I guess," she said. A cramp seized her lower belly, and she gritted her teeth and bent over. "Even this."

"Is the painkiller not working yet?"

"Does it _look_ like the painkiller's working yet?" she said. "Here—" She reached out with the Force and reached into his mind, pouring hers into his and letting him feel everything she felt.

Ben's eyes widened as he clutched his abdomen and huffed out in pain. "Oh, force, no, stop it," he groaned.

"Fun, right?" Rey had to laugh as his face paled. "It kinda feels like you ate seafood that went off _and_ like you've got the Mursh squirts."

"You deal with this _every month_?" he panted.

"Lay on the floor and curl up into the fetal position," she advised. "Now you see why I want that five year guarantee of _none of this._ "

Ben, already on his side, tapped the floor. "I yield," he said. "Get the kriffing TI-4R8 put in. _Please_."

Rey broke the connection and he slumped back in relief. "Emdee?" she called, and the droid whirred over, ready to go. "Can you replace the TI now, or do you have to wait until my cycle is over?"

"I can replace it at any time, my lady," he said.

"Great. Now, please." Rey extended her leg and winced as the droid's nimble digits sliced the tiniest of holes on her skin, then drew the defective rod out and set it in a tray while placing a small bacta-pad over the little bleeding wound. He then whipped out the replacement, a smaller rod mounted in an injection sub-dermal gun, sanitized the injection site, and slid it just beneath the skin of her other thigh with a light _woosh_ - _click._

"Done," he said. "Please do not hesitate to let me know if you experience any adverse side effects."

"Thanks," she told him. "Before you leave the wing, can you go and check up on Mira? Don't wake her up, I just want to make sure she's really okay."

"Of course, my lady," he said, and wheeled off through the bedroom door.

Ben looked from her to the door. "I should, um. Let you…get cleaned up and get to sleep," he said.

"Oh, yeah," she said, looking down at the hand still holding the wad of paper between her legs. "Did you—I mean, were you trying to figure out if I want kids?"

He paused and looked back. "We already have five and we're not even married yet," he said quite sagely, which made her laugh in spite of the cramps. "It's all right. We can shelve that conversation for later. A lot later."

"A _lot_ later," she said. "Sleep well."

"You too," he said, and he was gone, closing the bedroom door behind him.


	58. Months Two and Three

Over the next two months, Rey began to keep a diary, mostly scrawling down a record of what the children were up to on a daily basis so she could keep Ben informed.  It became a comforting ritual at night, before bed, when it was just her and her datapad, secluded in her room, and putting down the events of the day to screen, like so:

_Third 19 th. Republic Day. Tem and Dax got into a tree in the gardens and fell out. Make sure Dax gets ice on his eye! Tem is fine, just has bruising on his knees. The staff threw a small party for the holiday and Yori inquired to my health. I told her I was fine and thanked her for her help. (We should really do something nice for her.)_

_Third 20 th. U'yi is making excellent progress with using the Force to move things. He's extremely deft for a seven and a half year old. Still mostly nonverbal except when necessary, but he gets along all right, especially with Matron Tuppi. Ara is extremely excited about the wedding and has thrown herself into picking out flowers. Told her she can pick anything she likes as long as it isn't too over-the-top. According to the Mistress of Wardrobe she has a very good eye for detail and color, and it should be encouraged. I told the Mistress of Wardrobe as long as she's happy I'm happy. _

_Third 25 th. Ara has decreed that she wants to wear blue, because someone told her pink doesn't look nice on redheads. I told her she can wear whatever she likes and if she wants to wear pink she can wear pink. Tem is actually enjoying his suit fittings. I hope yours are going as well as his are. Perhaps apart from the constant letting-down in the trousers. He's finally hitting his growth spurt and is very happy that he's nearly as tall as Ara now. Oh, and Dax accidentally lit a carpet on fire this morning, but it was put out without any trouble. We did have to get rid of the rug, though._

_Fourth 1 st. Emdee rolled over today for a checkup and it looks like Tem's having growing pains in his long bones, just like you predicted. He was prescribed calcium tablets and very mild painkillers. Ara's having the same issues, so she got the same treatment. The younger kids are fascinated with the idea of their bones growing, and U'yi sat in a corner for a minute trying to get his legs to grow longer by sheer willpower. Dax has his first loose tooth, and he won't stop poking at it. Ara told him if he made it fall out before it's supposed to he was going to grow warts all over his lips and bleed forever and ever, and that finally did the trick. _

_Fourth 5 th. I've finally told the kids what we were talking about last night after dinner, that right after the wedding they can go to Naboo and stay at Varykino for two whole weeks with Yori and Tuppi and their three favorite maids. Ara's jaw dropped just about to the floor, Tem whooped and grabbed his datapad to look up holos of the Lake Country, and the three youngest started yelling just because Tem was yelling. I'm not sure who's more excited, the maids or the kids. _

_Fourth 8 th. Ara tripped over a low garden wall and split her lip this afternoon. She's more upset about her face looking nice for the wedding than anything else, even though Emdee promised that with bacta, it would clear up just fine. Please say something nice to her, she's a wreck._

_Fourth 12 th. Maella has replaced most of my wardrobe with sensible and durable clothes without me even having to tell her. I see why she got this position. Haven't seen much of you around, but I assume you're busy, so don't bother about it. It has been almost two weeks since you came to training, but every time I asked where you were Yori told me that you were busy with planning some sort of men's only party? And she implied I was supposed to have one too, only with women. I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm supposed to be given a quick briefing tomorrow at breakfast._

_Fourth 13 th. WHAT IN THE OUTER RIM IS A BRIDAL SHOWER???? This had better not be some sort of joke. I thought we were done with parties. According to the Master of Ceremonies I'm supposed to have no less than two parties thrown here before the actual wedding, the bridal shower and some kind of pre-wedding f_ _ête with a bunch of noblewomen. If I have to do one more bloody party I swear I'm going to run into the woods and hide until the wedding day._

_Fourth 16 th. Thank you for intervening. I can deal with ONE more party, not two, and I'd rather it be useful. And yes. I miss you too. Tease.  I would write more but I'm not as good at it as you are. Anyway, I have no idea what sort of things people bring to a bridal shower, but I suppose I'll find out. Yori says it's usually useful household items or traditional gifts, but I already have all the household things I need. It seems wasteful. Maybe I should donate them? One of the stonemasons came up to repair the wall Ara knocked down when she fell last week and told me there's a relief charity in the city. Maybe we should donate the gifts if we don't need them._

_Fourth 17 th. I've been thinking some more about things we don't need. Didn't Jedi traditionally live pretty minimalist lives? I mean, I know we're not really Jedi, but I think it wouldn't hurt if we cut back on luxuries we don't really need all the time and gave some things away to people who need them. I know you have to keep up appearances and all that, but the kids should really have a plain and simple life with a lot of nurturing and care. They don't need synthsilk blankets and velvet slippers. Just a thought._

_Fourth 18 th. Has it really already been almost three months? There's nothing to report today, except that Dax got into a jar of flat biscuits and made a mess in the kitchen. I really like your idea for a temple. I'll have to sit down with you and work it out at some point after this week. Oh, and Ara's worked really well on her food hoarding, but don't bring it up or compliment her, she gets embarrassed if you do. I have my first wedding gown consultation tomorrow, and I've told her she has to wait until the day of the wedding to see it. I think she's more crestfallen than you were at dinner the other night when I told you that you weren't allowed to even ask about it. Tem is being very moody. I would keep an eye out for him if I were you. His voice has started cracking a little, so any day now I'm sure he'll be subjected to a conversation from Emdee about testosterone and human adolescence. PLEASE be on hand to give him a talk. I already had to do it with Ara so it's only fair that you get to suffer too. _

 

Ben, true to his word, wrote entries back. They weren't often, but what they lacked in frequency they made up for in length, and every morning Rey opened her datapad to see if there was any new response, eyes poring over every word if there was.

 

_Third 25 th. I hope the carpet Dax immolated was that hideous Huttese piece in the living room. I never liked it. Glad to hear Tem is enjoying himself. I am not so lucky. There was a big discussion in the Wardrobe Office this evening about what I should wear to my own wedding and I admit I may have yelled at someone, but at least we all agreed on something and I have a sleeve length fitting tomorrow. Note to myself: stop yelling at people. You'd think I'd have learned that by now, wouldn't you? About the growth spurt: when I was his age I swear I grew a foot in a year, and all I remember is how bad the growing pain was. Not to mention my face never grew into my ears or my nose, regardless of what everyone said. Absolute betrayal. Thankfully Tem does not have ears like mine. He may, however, go through an awkward nose phase. Most boys do. Don't point it out if he does. And keep an eye out for the growing pains._

_Fourth 9 th. I found Ara crying in the garden this afternoon as I was walking back to the office, and got the chance to sit down with her. She was extremely distraught that she wouldn't look pretty at the wedding, like you mentioned. I told her that I had an even bigger scar and it was a lot uglier than her split lip, and pointed at my face. She thought about that for a moment, then asked if you thought I was ugly. I told her no. (I'm probably wrong. Just kidding.) The she asked if I thought I was ugly, and I didn't really know how to answer that. Then she said, "Well, in all the good stories I read, the monsters get changed into beautiful princesses and princes when someone loves them even though they're scary. So don't worry." I admit I did get a little choked up. Then she proceeded to tell me a story about the beautiful princess who was changed into a Varactyl by a night-witch for being proud and vain, and the prince who won her heart and changed her back into a beautiful princess with a kiss. I think she'll be all right._

_Fourth 13 th. Don't panic. I can ask the Master of Ceremonies to shave down the number of social gatherings or maybe consolidate them into one party, and I'm sure he'll be all right with it. Please don't go running into the woods. If you do, I will have to chase you down and bring you back slung over my shoulders, and I'm sure we don't want that, especially since at this point if your legs were anywhere near my face I would probably disgrace myself completely and throw the last two months out the window… sorry. You probably don't need to hear that. But I miss you. Intensely. I'm not sure if I can stand another month. Even having dinner in the same room with you tests my patience. It's even worse when the kids are doing other things and it's just us, alone with the maids. I know you feel the same way. I can feel it. I want this to be over. I want to be able to hold you in my arms at night when I sleep and have you there when I wake up in the morning. I want a lot of things I won't go into detail about…I'm sorry. Tell me about the kinds of things you get at a bridal shower. I've never been to one. I mean…there was an officer on Starkiller who got engaged and her CO threw her one, but obviously that was a long time ago and I didn't attend. Tell me all about it after it happens._

_Fourth 17 th. No, that is a good idea. We really don't need all this stuff. Most of the ceremonial things we can obviously keep, but I'll ask someone about maybe distributing some of the valuables around here to that charity. I get the feeling Lord Mellowyn was a bit self-indulgent, and the Birrenese probably didn't like that much. I'd like to give them a governor who cares about all of them, not just the Elder Houses or people with noble blood. What do you think about maybe building a sort of temple in the meadow up by the forest? Just out of sight of the Hall, but close enough for emergencies. The Corusca gems we got as an inauguration gift might be enough to pay workers for the labor. We could have two dormitory wings and a separate area for us, with an open middle ground for training and meditation. I'll sketch it out or something._

_Fourth 18 th. The wedding dress news is great, but…a talk?? What do you mean, a talk?? What did you say to Ara?? What do I do?? Is there some kind of formula I have to follow? What do I do? ANSWER BACK AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN PLEASE. _


	59. Month Four

Rey stood in front of the full-length mirror in the Wardrobe Room, surrounded by bolts of silks, velvets, satins, and about a hundred other types of fabric she didn't know the names of in every color under the sun, staring at herself in her wedding gown.

"What do you think, my lady?" asked the Mistress of Wardrobe, who Rey had finally learned was named Rhyn Su. She was an elegantly attired older woman with olive skin, her salt-and-pepper hair in three knots atop her head and a wide mouth full of static-pins. She stepped back and eyed her charge with a critical gaze.

"I," said Rey blankly. "Um. Yes. I like it. A lot."

"Excellent," said Rhyn Su, around the pins. "Let's get it off you, then, so I can finish working on the hem. You have a bridal shower to get to."

Rey inwardly groaned. "Yes, thank you," she said, and let the woman help her out of the gown before throwing her plain brown robe back on and hurrying up the stairs to her new suite of rooms, a luxury she had argued against with the Warden of the Keys for at least a day and a half but eventually had given in to.

She was still in the process of moving in, so most of her belongings—her clothes, the priceless Jedi books, her lightsaber, and her satchel—were still lying on the bed as Maella directed maids through laying out carpet and beating dust from the curtains.

"Oh, my lady!" she said as Rey entered, and dipped into a curtsy. "Did you want the velvet or the silk covers on the bed?"

Rey glanced at the bed. "It's getting warmer, so plain fineweave should work just as well. I'm sure I saw a nice fluffy duvet in the cupboard. You can put the silks and velvets in the chests."

If Maella disapproved, she didn't show it. "Of course, my lady," she said, and hurried out to fetch the fineweave comforter.

Rey stretched her back and opened the new wardrobe, already mostly stocked with sensible clothes and a few nicer plain robes. "Bridal shower," she muttered, and pulled out a long, form-fitting, gray gown that she rather liked. It had a high collar and long sleeves, but was also entirely backless and was made of a soft, breathable knit, which would come in handy in the afternoon sun. "Maella?"

The handmaiden came back in, holding the folded comforter. "My lady?"

"I might need your expert touch with my hair. Are we still on schedule for the tea in the garden?"

Maella smiled. "Oh, yes. The cooks send their congratulations. Everything is nearly done."

"Great." Rey slipped out of her robe and shimmied the gown on over her head, buttoning it behind her neck as Maella set the comforter down and got the dressing table ready.

After Rey's hair had been artfully pinned into a romantic, tumbling fall of curls down her shoulders and set with a few silver ornaments, she slipped on a pair of low-heeled shoes and thanked Maella on her way out the door. She could see speeders arriving already, pulling up to the front doors of the Hall and discharging their occupants.

She set her chin as elegantly as she could and descended the stairs into the assembled crowd of women, smiling, one hand holding up the skirt. "Welcome," she said cheerfully, smiling at the gathering. "I see you're all getting acquainted."

"Many congratulations on your nuptials," said the Duchess of Ynchystyr genially, beaming as she swanned forward and took her hands. 'I've been having a most delightful conversation with Nela, the stonemason's daughter."

Nela, six feet tall with close cropped blond hair and a wide, handsome face, dipped a curtsy, smiling. "Thank you ever so much for the invitation, Lady Rey."

"Oh, you're very welcome, my lady," said Rey, and scanned the room. It was about half nobility and half commoners, a decently small gathering: most of the nobles looking surprised and all the commoners looking quite awed and delighted. "Shall we go to the gardens?"

The Duchess took her arm as they walked out to the garden, the women behind them laughing and talking. "I regret to inform you that the Baroness Y'chet, our dear friend, is very indisposed and will not be able to attend today," she said, eyes twinkling.

"Oh, how sad," said Rey, smiling back. "I hope she'll be able to make it to the wedding."

"My dear lady, the Baroness never attended a wedding she did not make a spectacle of. What is it they say? The center of every wedding and the dead at every funeral?" The Duchess laughed, her chins wobbling, and leaned in conspiratorially, smelling of powder and roses. "Fear not. Perhaps I shall sit in the doorway of the Great Hall, and act as a barricade."

Rey really did laugh at that. "I'm sure she's learned her lesson, my lady. No need for that."

"Please, call me Tella." The Duchess blinked in the bright sun. "Ah, the gardens. I see your nightbloom buds are ready for blossoming. Such a lovely sight."

Rey squeezed her hand. "Only if you call me Rey. And do find a seat in the shade, it's supposed to be warm today."

~

They had a lovely tea, Rey enjoying herself in spite of her misgivings. Nela told her about stonecarving and leveling while the Duchess sipped tea and gossiped with a few countesses. Most of the commoner women had worn their best clothing, clean fineweave and silk belts, with their hair twisted up in elegant braided knots.

"Yenni, you mentioned you were a mechanic?" Rey asked one woman, who had fingers stained with oil that no soap could get out.

"I was," said Yenni, a little sadly. "That was before my husband was killed on Hosnian Prime."

The ladies in earshot gasped and made murmuring sympathetic noises, including the countesses. Rey felt as if a stone had dropped into her gut. "I'm so sorry."

"It's all right," Yenni said, and set her teacup down. "I had to take two jobs in manufacturing on Corellia to support the kids. We have—had—there are three. I would leave them with their grandmother and take transport over for months at a time. It's not easy."

Rey felt discomfited. _Maybe the New Republic was right when they focused on economic aid on Kuat._ "I'm sure you're not alone," she told Yenni. "Hosnian Prime was the hub of almost everything in the galaxy. So many people gone…"

"At least the First Order has been wiped out," said Nela. "There's some justice for us there."

"Nela," said her mother, Hely, a wispy slip of an older woman who didn't look capable of having borne her own teacup and saucer, let alone her enormous daughter.

"What? We're all thinking it." Nela turned to Rey. "The Holonet reported that you killed Armitage Hux personally. If that's true, you're a hero. And not just to me, but to everyone who lost a loved one on Hosnian Prime."

Rey's eyes filled with unexpected tears. "I—" she stammered. She didn't want to remember that day. It was like she could feel the man's clammy skin under her thumb again, could see his eyes rolling back and hear his screams. _It was me. It was me, drowning in the Force, but it was still me, wasn't it?_

"You've upset her," said Lili, a red-haired, amiable farmer's wife. "There, my lady." She handed Rey a rough handkerchief, and Rey gratefully took it and dabbed at her eyes.

"I'm sorry," said Nela, abashed. "I didn't mean to upset you, Lady Rey."

"No, no," Rey said, and clutched the handkerchief. "I did kill him. I don't like thinking about it, but I—I did." She closed her eyes, fighting off the mental image of his gloved hands scrabbling against the smooth black floor, contorted like spiders. "And I want to dedicate my time here—in addition to training the children we rescued—to helping those affected by his crimes, and the crimes of the Order." She waved a footman forward. "Jaual, will you please go and fetch the casket the Duke of—oh, the chest with the—you know which one."

"I do, my lady," he said, and smiled, heading off inside.

She turned back. "I know that traditionally guests at a bridal party give gifts. And make no mistake, I have every intention of honoring tradition. But I'd like to give you something as well."

Jaual came back, carrying the heavy little chest, and bent down so Rey could touch it. She thanked him and opened the lid, the bright metal ingots inside shining in the sunlight. Lili gasped and Nela's eyes got as wide as her teacup's rim. "I'd like to give these to you, Yenni."

Yenni froze, shocked. "My—my lady, I can't possibly accept—"

"Oh, yes you can." Rey turned to Jaual. "Please ensure those are with her when she leaves."

"That's—my lady Rey, the value of those ingots is more than what I could earn in _a hundred years_."

"So give some of the ingots to your friends. To people who need it." Rey spread her hands apart. "I won't hoard wealth in a dusty room when the people of Birren need help."

After a stunned silence, Nela reached over and grabbed her hand firmly, smiling. "You're going to be the _best_ governor's wife we've had in decades," she said.

~

At the end of the day, Rey received all the traditional Birrenese gifts, and not one was useless: a bolt of handmade lace from Tella ("for your first child's wrapping, when they're named on the fourth day of life"), a ceremonial binding cord woven of red silk from Countess Sula, a hand-carved keepsake box from Nela, pearl hair ornaments from Hely, a painted porcelain dish from Countess Raenna ("for your table, symbolically, but it will make a lovely wall piece too!"), and a finely embroidered nightgown from old Lady Mellowyn, hunched over in her hover-seat, who informed Rey she'd hand-done every panel. "My legs may be old, my lady, but my hands and eyes work just as well as your lord husband's will!" Rey turned crimson and nearly dropped the filmy thing as the women all laughed and hid behind their napkins. She quickly thanked the old woman and opened the rest of her presents, mostly more nightgowns except for the hand-tooled lightsaber belt, complete with a clip, from a leatherworker named Cleah. Rey carefully folded it up and thanked her profusely, touched beyond words.

Last, but not least, from Yenni she was gifted a tiny music box, obviously hand-made. "Oh, it's beautiful," Rey said in awe, and lifted the lid to see inside a crude little sculpture of a hand-in-hand couple as tinkly music began to play.

"My son, the oldest, he helped me. He has an ear for music," Yenni explained, smiling shyly as the women all oohed and aahed over her work. "The tune is a very old, traditional love song here. Depending on who and where you are, the lyrics are… slightly different, but the version that's acceptable to sing in polite company goes…" She hesitated, waiting for the cue, found it, and began to sing, a soft slow melody.

                _Blue, blue, blue,_  
 _Color strong and true,_  
 _My lover's eyes_  
 _Just like the skies,_  
 _Blue, blue, blue._  
  
_Black, black, black,_  
 _All from top to back,_  
 _My love's dark hair_  
 _Like the night air,_  
 _Black, black, black._

 _Green, green, green,_  
 _Like you've never seen,_  
 _The grass beneath_  
 _My lover's feet._  
 _Green, green, green._  
               

Old Lady Mellowyn smiled. "They sang that at my first wedding," she reminisced as the music slowed and stopped. "Except after, during the bedding, it had much different words, and they went through _all_ the colors."

"Bedding?" Rey asked, caught off guard.

"Oh, don't worry. They did away with that years and years ago. Now they just make the happy couple run the gauntlet to bed." Lady Mellowyn patted her hand with her wrinkled, age-spotted fingers. "For the better, too, I say. As if you need _confirmation_ that a couple of young people who've been separated for a year and a day—"

"Lady _Mellowyn_!" said Countess Sula, her dark face wrestling with secondhand embarrassment and laughter. "You're going to embarrass our poor lady Rey."

"It's a bridal shower!" Lady Mellowyn said, waving her finger. "If I wanted to sit about with old prudes I'd go back to my knitting circle. Besides, our lady Rey here knows what happens in a bridal bed. Gracious. Don't you, dear?"

Rey fought a blush. "Yes," she gasped, trying not to choke.

Nela leaned forward. "Is it true what they say about tall men?" she whispered.

"I—what do they say about tall men?" Rey whispered back, baffled.

" _Nela_!" said Hely reproachfully.

"You know," Nela said, and indicated her crotch with exaggerated movements. "That they're…" She held her hands about eight inches apart and waggled her eyebrows.

Rey choked on her tea, half of it coming out her nose. Tella handed her a napkin as a peal of laughter went up from the party. "Don't drown her before her own wedding!" she cried, and Nela flushed scarlet and sat back, hands clapped to her mouth.

After clearing most of the tea out of her sinuses, Rey coughed and looked up. "Well. Erm. Not that I have anything to really go off for comparison, but, uh, I guess it is true, then."

Nela grinned and leaned forward again, eyes twinkling with mischief. "They also say the longer a man's nose is, the lustier he is in bed."

"Well by that measuring," said Lady Mellowyn, "our dear Lady Rey won't be able to leave the chamber for a whole week!"

Rey choked out a hysterical giggle and flushed hotly as the women all laughed together. She was beginning to enjoy herself, bar the burning in her nose. "We've never been apart more than a month or so at a time," she admitted as the laughter quieted. "I mean, since we started…you know." She blushed again as a chorus of giggles started up again.

"Count yourself lucky. You've only three weeks to go," Tella said. "I had a cousin who had to wait the whole year and a day, and her betrothed took to swims in the icy river every morning and night to cool his passions—my dear Nela, _do_ pass me those tarts."

Rey relaxed a little as the conversation turned back to families and jobs and weddings past, and admired her little stack of gifts. It was a beautiful day, out here in the sunlight, the wind gently playing with their hair and the footmen and maids sneaking biscuits and laughing at each other. Somewhere, a fountain in the garden was rippling gently.

She leaned back and tilted her head up to face the sun, and felt the cool tingle of knowing someone was watching her creep up the back of her neck. Rey opened her eyes, looking up at the house, and saw a pale face behind a window high up above on the third floor of the house. _Ben_ , she said, and the shape shifted slightly, the curtain moving.

 _Don't mind me,_ he said lightly, the Force shifting. _Enjoying yourself?_

 _Very much,_ she said honestly, and poured a cup of tea for Cleah.

 _Good,_ he said. She felt a shiver, a palpably familiar touch, slip along her shoulder and across her exposed back: an invisible hand, a light pressure. _What's this?_

 _My dress,_ she informed him, and exchanged a light smile with Tella as the Duchess got to the punchline of her joke. _Do you like it?_

 _It doesn't seem to have a back,_ he said, and the exploring, invisible touch dipped lower, tracing across her waist and down to her exposed lower back. _Yes, I do._

Rey swallowed and pressed her thighs together as she had a quick conversation with Lili about the Blasé tree goats she was raising for the summer, and mentally swatted at Ben. _You keep your hands to yourself, Ben Solo,_ she said sternly. _Three more weeks._

He made a groaning little sound of discontent and the invisible touch swept up to her shoulders, playing with the hair at the nape of her neck.  _Three weeks._ She felt her hair stir and half-smiled, answering a question from Countess Sula about the children. "Yes, we're very pleased with their progress. They show such potential, and we hope to be a refuge for any and every Force-sensitive being who wants to explore their abilities."

 _Maybe I'll make it harder and just wear nothing but backless gowns,_ she suggested to Ben. _Or midriff-baring. Big slit up the leg? It's so hot, maybe I'll just go around in dresses that barely touch my thighs, or perhaps one of these fine evenings I'll go and swim in the fountain in something nice and transparent. You'll be able to see me from your window—_

The invisible hand hastily withdrew from her hair, and she sensed his sudden and near-uncontrollable arousal, with all the frustration and heat that came with it. _Damn you_ , _Rey,_ he said. _I have a meeting in two minutes with—how am I supposed to—_

 _Sounds like a personal problem,_ she said quite smugly, and replied aloud to Nela, "Oh, absolutely. We'd love to speak to some of the parents after all the excitement around here dies down a little. It can't be easy having an infant that can _float_ themselves from room to room." The women laughed.

 _Tease,_ he said, in a tone of voice that suggested he was narrowing his eyes. _You enjoy your day. I'll… enjoy that mental image of you in a soaking wet gown._

 _You do that_ , she told him smugly, and felt the little tick as the Force closed off, the curtain far above her swinging shut and gleaming in the afternoon sunshine.

"So what are you going to name each other?" asked Lili with a smile.

"She can't tell you before the wedding, it's bad luck!" protested Nela.

Rey bit into a warm pastry and chewed for a moment. "I hadn't even thought about it," she admitted. It had been a passing comment from—who, Maella? Probably—about the couple-naming, and she had remembered feeling slightly put out that she didn't even have a proper surname before forgetting about it and moving on to one of the four hundred other things that had required her immediate attention. "I have to give him a new…surname? Or a family name?"

"Oh, yes," Nela said. "It's a little complicated. Both partners choose another name for each other. Not the same name, you won't take his surname and he won't take yours—just an additional surname that you choose to call each other, and you're known by the names."

"Ah," said Rey, trying to look as if she followed.

"For example," said Hely, "before I wedded Nela's father, I was Hely Ryu and he was Gunnar Dronos. At the wedding, he named me Hely Ryu Sunlander, for my father's people, and I named him Gunnar Dronos Apina, for his grandmother's people. It doesn't always have to be after a family name," she added quickly. "It can be any name that the partner deems appropriate. And daughters born of the union take the mother's name, while sons take the father's—but they can choose to switch over if they so please."

"So…" Rey tried to work that out for a moment. "So your mother's 'wedding name' was Ryu?"

"Yes," said Hely. "Yueri Yin, wedding-named Ryu. She was an only daughter, and her mother's name was Opella Ja, named Yin on her wedding day. My father, however, was Teo Sunlander, named Neir on his wedding day, and _his_ father was Rwendo Ryn-named-Sunlander, so all _his_ sons took the name Sunlander."

Rey blinked. "I think I've got it," she said. "It's just…I don't have a family name at all, or a surname. So does Ben have to give me _two_ names?"

"No, just the one," said Nela reassuringly. "Oh, look, they're bringing out _cheese._ Lady Tella, could you pass the tea again?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next update will be...THE WEDDING DUN DUN DUNNNN. I hope you're all as excited to read it as I am for you to read it!


	60. The Wedding

"I think I'm going to be sick," said Ben, staring at his reflection in the full-length mirror.

"That's normal, my lord Governor; it's your wedding day," his groom, Tiren, informed him. "Shall I send for a glass of Corellian brandy?"

"No, thank you. I'd like to be somewhat sober," Ben told him. He sat down in the nearest armchair, taking a few deep breaths and trying to get himself centered.

They hadn't wanted a large wedding, but by tradition (Ben was beginning to absolutely hate that word) the governor's wedding should be a society affair of at least three hundred guests, so every noble they could think of had to be invited by protocol. Then Rey had insisted on inviting anyone from the city who wanted to come, which had put the total at about six hundred and forty-seven guests—still small by ceremonial standards, but way, way too many for Ben's comfort.

He glanced up at the mirror again and eyed himself. You had to admit, he thought grudgingly, that the Mistress of Wardrobe had an eye for style. His long, leanly muscled figure cut an impressive look in the storm-blue-gray overcoat she'd whipped up for him. It clasped at the waist, exposing the gray velvet jacket beneath, and flowed out to the ground, its wide sleeves and high collar trimmed with ivory piping that matched the shirt that peeked out at the top of the collar.

It was custom, the Mistress of Wardrobe had informed him, for a husband to wear dark colors on the occasion of his wedding. Ben had politely told her he did not ever plan to wear black again, wedding be damned, so they had compromised, and only his trousers and boots were black.

"Are you sure you don't want your hair pulled back, my lord?" asked Lewyn, helping himself to a small glass of brandy. "It's going to be a warm day."

"It's fine the way it is," Ben told him. His hair was loose, just brushing past his shoulders in glossy dark waves. He wasn't of a mind to scrape it all back and let the whole planet see exactly how big his ears were. He took another look in the mirror and wished, not for the first time, that he could somehow hide the scar on the right side of his face. _She deserves better,_ he thought, also not for the first time, and absently traced the rough tissue. But there was nothing to be done for it, and the hour was drawing near. "Is it time yet?"

"Just about," Tiren said, checking his chrono. "The guests are all arrived and seated and the Arbiter is in your office awaiting you."

"Good," said Ben, and stood up, looking around his room. "Let's go."

~

"Ah, my lord Governor," said the beaming Lord Dinys as Ben entered his office. "You look magnificent. I have just come from your lady's chamber—"

"Is Rey all right?" Ben interrupted, too anxious to bother with ceremony. He'd purposely not used the Force to sneak a peek into her emotional state for the last few days, and it was grinding on his nerves.

"She's perfectly fine, my lord," said Lord Dinys. "In a state of much apprehension, as you are; but that's to be expected." He clapped Ben on the shoulder reassuringly.

Ben felt as if a rock was lodged in his stomach. Tem popped out of the door to the hall and made a beeline for him, looking very fine in his deep blue suit and new boots. His straw-colored hair had been combed down fiercely. "Master Ben!" he shouted, then checked himself when he saw the Arbiter. "Um, good morning, Lord Dinys," he said quickly, bowing.

"Good morning to you, Temiri," said Lord Dinys, eyes twinkling.

Greetings over, Tem turned back to Ben and took a deep breath. "I just ran _all the way_ from the front hall and Master Rey and Ara are getting ready to go but we have to go _first_ and the babies are all outside already with the Matrons and the maids and after it's over do we _really_ get to go to Naboo because I packed all my clothes even the old ones because Matron Tuppi says we need old clothes to play in the lake and I—"

"Tem, breathe," Ben ordered, and the boy gulped down air as Ben patted his pocket and checked to make sure the wedding ring was still safely stowed within. "Yes, you really get to go to Naboo. Now, it's almost four. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes!" Tem said, his voice cracking with excitement.

"All right. Let's go."

~

The walk to the large double doors to the garden, festooned with flowers and ribbons, was not half as nerve-wracking as the grooms opening them and every face turning to see Ben, the Arbiter, and Tem as they entered the garden and began to walk past the curved benches down to the platform and canopy that awaited them. It was a gorgeous, sunny, golden day, and Ben barely noticed.

He could sense the excitement from the crowd, and a few vaguely discontented people got thrown into the mix: _I still can't believe they let **him** be Governor…What a sweet child!... Blue is a good color for him, I think...He looks so nervous, poor man…_ He blocked out their chorus of thought and made it to the end, Tem trotting along happily as they reached the platform and wedding canopy and Lord Dinys centered himself beneath it, resplendent in deep purple. Ben took his place to the right and Tem sat down with Matron Yori on the front bench, sandwiched between her and Matron Tuppi. _First part, done._ He steeled himself, clasping his hands together in front of him.

"Honorable guests and friends from across the galaxy," intoned the Arbiter. Ben let his eyes sweep across the benches and found Poe, Finn, and Rose sitting a few rows back, all smiling, all wearing their best uniforms. "We gather to wed two beings, each to the other." He raised his chin and looked toward the back of the garden, near the doors, and Ben felt his heart about to pound out of his chest. "Who comes to wed this man?" he called, in a voice like thunder that boomed across the grass.

For a brief, terrible second of silence, Ben thought she wasn't coming. His whole heart dropped into his gut, pounding a thousand kilometers a second: _She's run off and panicked, the stress was too much, she gave up on me, she secretly hates me, she—_

The doors swung open, and Rey emerged, stepping into the golden sunlight.

Ben froze.

"I, Rey of Jakku, come!" she called out loudly, and as if on cue, every guest rose to their feet.

"Approach," said Lord Dinys, and she began walking to him.

Ben could barely breathe. Rey was clothed in a simple, deceptively plain-looking shimmersilk and net gown that up close was embroidered with tiny white flowers and pearls everywhere he looked. The white silk cast a soft grey shadow in its folds. Her arms were bare, and her hands bore only the ring he'd given her. On her head was a cap of transparent grey net embroidered with silver stars, her hair loose beneath it; the cap pinned down at the sides with enameled flower pins and extending down the back of her head into a long embroidered veil that Ara held delicately between her fingers as she followed a few steps behind Rey.

He barely saw Ara, or the Arbiter, or the guests. She looked over at him and smiled as she stepped up on the platform, under the canopy, and Ara let go of the veil, the filmy thing falling around Rey's bare arms, before taking her seat next to Matron Tuppi.

"Do you, my lady Rey, and you, my lord Governor, confirm in the presence of these witnesses that you have come of your own will, freely, and not by force, to wed?" asked the Arbiter.

"Yes," said Rey.

Ben swallowed and managed, "Yes."

"I see a ring upon my lady's hand. Who gave it to her?"

"I, Ben Organa Solo, gave it to her," Ben said. "As a mark of betrothal."

"Do you have a mark of marriage to give?" asked the Arbiter.

"I do," said Ben quickly, and dug into his pocket, bringing out the matching ring he'd made for her. It was the same metal, heat-colored and dark gray, but half the width of her other one. He held it up so the guests could witness it.

"You bring a ring as your token," Lord Dinys intoned. "Lady Rey, do you now have a mark of marriage to give?"

Rey nodded and slipped a hand into a small pocket in her dress, bringing out a ring. It was made of some bright, burnished silvery metal, and gleamed in the sun. "I do," she said, holding it on her palm.

"You will now exchange the rings," said Lord Dinys, and Ben held his hand out to Rey, waiting for her hand.

She looked up at him, smiled, and put her hand in his. He fumbled for a moment, then slid the ring onto her left hand. Rey flipped his palm over and neatly slid her ring onto the index finger of his left hand, where it rested, a snug and foreign sensation on his skin. Then, her hands tightened on his, and they stood there, holding hands under the canopy.

"The rings have been given," said the Arbiter. "Kneel."

They knelt, facing each other; Rey's gown flowing around her knees in a pool of delicate fabric. The Arbiter brought out the red silk binding cord and wrapped it lightly around their clasped hands, the ends dangling in the soft breeze.

"My lord Governor, Ben Organa Solo, do you pledge to follow, love, honor, and respect this woman, as long as you shall remain bound by law? Will you keep nothing from her? Will you protect her, aid her, and treat her not as an inferior, but as an equal?"

"I do so pledge," said Ben hoarsely, finding himself emotional.

"And Lady Rey of Jakku: do you pledge to follow, love, honor, and respect this man, as long as you shall remain bound by law? Will you keep nothing from him? Will you protect him, aid him, and treat him not as an inferior, but as an equal?"

Rey had tears in her eyes. "I _do_ so pledge," she managed.

The Arbiter pointed up at the canopy, a blue cloth spangled with flecks of silver and gold. "As the canopy represents the sky and stars above, you make these vows in the sight of the world and of the galaxy; the universe your witness. Rise."

They stood, still clutching each other's hands, bound in the cord. Ben's were shaking slightly, and he hoped Rey didn't feel how nervous he was.

"As is customary, you shall now give each other a new name; names you deem fit and worthy for each other to be known by while your feet walk the lands of Birren, that your children might call themselves by it." He turned to Ben. "My lord Governor, will you give your lady a new name?"

Ben's stomach clenched into a tight knot. The name he had picked suddenly sounded idiotic, fine enough when he said it to himself, rolling it across his tongue in the night, but not something for hundreds of people to hear—but he had to say it, so he did. "I, Ben Organa Solo, name you, Rey—Rey Seadreamer."

Her face took on an expression he'd never seen—stunned, but at the same time understanding, and delighted, and surprised, and like she might cry all at once.

The Arbiter nodded. "Lady Rey, will you give your lord a new name?"

Rey swallowed, her lips moving as if she was trying to get the words out. "I—I, Rey of Jakku, name you—name you Ben Organa Solo Skywalker." Ben blinked in shock. The crowd gasped and murmured behind their hands, and Rey must have sensed their surprise, because she plunged on, blushing. "For your mother's family, and for your uncle."

Ben felt as if his throat had frozen shut.  _Skywalker,_ he thought dizzily, and squeezed her hands tightly before he looked at the Arbiter.

"The vows have been made, the names have been given," said Lord Dinys. "The wedding is complete. You may seal your binding with a kiss."

Rey took a quick step forward and turned her face up, tears glittering in her eyelashes, and Ben thought for a brief second how beautiful she looked before he found himself leaning down, one hand cupping the back of her veiled head before his lips found hers and _finally_ all was well, and it was over at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONE CHAPTER LEFT AND THEN...THE EPILOGUE! Currently working on a set of vignettes/mini-fics to go into A Handful of Stars, so don't worry, this definitely isn't the end. 
> 
> I will try my very best to have the last chapter up by the 19th and the epilogue up by the 21st, but my mother is coming to visit so I can't promise anything regarding a Regular Schedule for the next few days. Cheers!


	61. With You, Always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my wifi has been cutting out sporadically all weekend (thanks comcast!) and I couldn't get this posted yesterday...PLEASE enjoy a doubly-long chapter, courtesy of an ethernet cable. I'll post the epilogue tomorrow!

The reception was held outside as the sun set, guests all sitting at long tables, nobles side by side with commoners. Rey and Ben sat together at the head table, Rey's veil swapped out for a crown of white and yellow flowers; Ben's long outer robe traded for a ceremonial cloth-of-silver cloak that fell across his right arm. One by one every guest came up to offer congratulations, as was customary. Rey nibbled down a few bites of food in between speaking to guests, but at the rate they were going, she felt like she'd starve at her own wedding before the night was over.

"Rey! Ben!" Poe, Rose, and Finn walked up, all smiling, and Rey jumped out of her seat to hug Rose as Ben followed suit. "Oh, you look so _beautiful_ ," Rose gushed, hugging her and holding her at arm's length. "It almost makes me want a fancy wedding."

Finn chuckled and pretended to clutch his heart. "Oh, please, no. Hey, Ben." He shook Ben's hand and pulled him into a shoulder-checking hug with one arm.

"Hey," said Ben, smiling as he pulled away. "Did all of you get enough to eat?"

"With a spread like this I'll be shocked if we need to eat again in a week," Poe told him, grinning. "Congratulations to the both of you." He leaned in and kissed Rey on the cheek. "If you need me, I'll be over at the bar, sampling your high and mighty Lord and Ladyship's fine liquor collection."

Rey smacked him on the arm, laughing. "Go on," she laughed, as Ben took aside Finn and Rose and pointed out the faintly glowing nightblooms, just emerging from the dusk in the garden. "As long as you don't find our secret stash of Corellian Gold."

Poe snorted, then his face grew serious and a little sad. "I'll miss you," he said. "Rey Seadreamer. He gave you a good name."

"I'll miss you too," Rey said, and gently put her hand over his chest, where the hard round circle of Shara Bey's wedding ring lay beneath. "You're going to meet someone who deserves that ring one day," she told him. "And they're going to give you so much more than—than anyone else ever could, and you're going to give them everything in the galaxy."

Poe sighed a little and looked up at her. "I hope you're right," he said softly, and smiled. "I'll remember you like this. Smiling at me, the sun going down, flowers in your hair. You make the best of it, Rey Seadreamer."

"You too, Captain," she said, and squeezed his hand. "Go check out that bar."

"Yes, ma'am," he said, and smiled at her one last time before heading off into the dusk.

Ben turned back around. "Oh, is he—"

"At the bar," Rey told him. "Oh, dear. Here comes the Baroness."

Loren Y'chet, garbed in bright red, was mincing her way up to the table, a sickeningly saccharine smile on her face. "My dear Lord Governor," she said sweetly. "And… my lady." The last two words were ground out like it pained her. "Many congratulations on this most auspicious day!"

"Thank you, Baroness," said Rey as politely as she could. "I was very sad to hear you were indisposed on the day of the bridal shower. We missed you."

Loren blinked. "Ah, yes. I do offer my most sincere…apologies, Lady Rey. For my absence." She looked as if she was swallowing glass.

"Apologies accepted," Rey told her cheerfully.

The Baroness stole a last, wistful look at Ben before leaving, her piled-high curls swaying precariously back and forth as she walked to her seat. Ben let out a sigh of relief and sat back down, taking Rey's hand as he did. "Force help me," he said under his breath.

"Oh, Thom!" said Rey happily, as the Earl of Cymburn approached the table, wearing a wide smile and a magnificently tasteful robe of deep blue and white.

"No, no, don't get up," he told her, motioning with his hands as she made to stand. "Heaven knows you both need to eat." He made a little bow toward Ben, who inclined his head. "My lord Governor. Congratulations. You make a very lovely couple, and I'm honored to be here."

Ben smiled. "Thank you for coming."

Thom glanced over at Rey. "I'm very pleased to see that my inauguration gift was put to such good use," he said, eyes twinkling.

Rey smoothed down the front of her gown, blushing. "I hoped you wouldn't be insulted. It was such beautiful fabric, and I didn't want to waste it."

"Not at all, my lady," he said, and reached out for her hand, kissing it lightly. "You look magnificent. Not even the Northern Diamond could outshine you." He let go of her fingers and straightened up. "I shall leave you to it. Congratulations again, my lord. My lady."

Rey waited until he was out of earshot before nudging Ben under the table. "Quit that," she said. "If he was Force-sensitive he would have run for the hills."

Ben nudged her back. "Good. Flirting with _my wife_ —"

"That was not flirting, it was complimentary. If you'd paid attention you'd know he was thinking the same thing about _you,_ he just didn't want to overdo it." Rey popped a bite of buttered bread into her mouth.

Ben snorted, but she felt his ire at Thom Selanno ease a little. "Is that everyone? All six hundred of them?"

"I think so," said Rey, taking a gulp of wine. "Maybe we can finally eat in peace."

They only got about ten minutes to sample their own food before Lord Dinys stood and announced that since the greetings had all been exchanged, it was now time for the happy couple to retreat from the party and enjoy each other's company in private. This brought a lot of laughter and jokes from the assembled crowd, and Rey turned scarlet and dropped her fork. "Let us see them safe inside!"

"Oh, _no_ ," said Ben, and froze as guests surrounded the table, singing and shouting and laughing. Rey shrieked as someone took her hands and led her around the table; someone on the other side was doing the same to Ben. She was pushed up next to him, her hand tightly squeezed in his, and the guests parted and formed a sort of path back to the house.

 _Running the gauntlet_ , she thought in horror. Of course she wanted to be alone with Ben, more than anything, but this was public and everyone was staring and—

Ben laughed and kissed her cheek, provoking a cheer from the guests. "Quick, go!" he said, and they took off running, hand in hand, one of Rey's hands holding up her skirt as she leaned into him, laughing in spite of herself as the guests all clapped and shouted encouragement, some a bit bawdier than the others.

Inside the doors, the house staff had formed another path to the stairs, all smiling. Flowers and sweet-smelling grasses lined the floor, marking the way up. "All is ready," said the Warden of the Keys, beaming. "Go on up, my lord; my lady."

Ben led Rey up, all the way to the landing, then followed the path of flowers down the halls to the door of his bedchamber—not the access door to his office, but the one he'd only recently discovered existed, the one that was built into the wall and led straight out to the hallway. The door was open, and Rey followed him inside, flanked by a few smiling maids who had posted along the path to see them to their room.

He turned and nodded at the maids, who curtseyed, blushing. "Thank you very much for the excellent job you've done," he said, and shut the enormous, heavy door with a dull thud, and finally they were alone.

Ben turned around. Rey was standing in the middle of the floor, looking around at the bedroom with wide eyes. "You changed it," she said softly.

"I did," he said, and came to stand by her. The enormous, ancient four-poster had ben replaced with a simple, low wooden frame; the silk and velvet bedding swapped for functional and comfortable fineweave and linen. The large carved table had been changed out for a large plain one, simple stools stood in the place of the once-ornate chairs, and one single woven rug covered the cool flagstones of the floor. A single plum velvet throw rested on the foot of the bed, the only remnant of the luxury the room had once held.

The maids had been busy. Candles glowed and flickered at the windows and on the bed-tables, and there were scattered bundles of flowers on the floor and the bed. A tray of food was waiting on the large table, and Ben's stomach growled in spite of himself.

Rey laughed. "We should probably eat first," she said. "You don't want to faint halfway through."

Ben scoffed. "I'm not _that_ hungry." He followed Rey over to the table anyway, where she lifted a lid and revealed a platter of roasted meat, a vegetable mash dish, a bowl of yellow fruit, nutbread and butter, soft white cheese, and two cups with a flagon of clearwine. "On second thought," he said, then sat down and began to plate up food.

Rey laughed, but followed suit, nibbling at the food. "I've got to get out of this dress," she admitted after finishing her meat. "The Mistress of Wardrobe did her best, but it itches something awful at the waist."

"Well, go on," Ben said lightly, his eyes tracing over her furtively as he sipped at his clearwine.

She reached up and undid the back buttons, then wiggled a little and stepped out of it, letting the delicate fabric pool around her feet. Ben swallowed, his fork frozen halfway to his mouth. She was wearing a simple breast binding and a pair of white basics underneath, and nothing else besides the crown of flowers on her head.

"That's more like it," Rey said, satisfied, and sat down, chewing a piece of bread spread with the soft cheese. "Mmm, this is good."

His hunger forgotten, Ben put his fork down and just looked at her. The curve of her sun-kissed shoulder, freckled; the way her eyes looked in the candlelight. Her dark hair, flowers stuck in it, fell over her right shoulder, longer than he remembered and looking silky-soft to the touch. He wanted to touch it. He wanted to touch her. He wanted—

Rey took a sharp little breath and he realized belatedly he hadn't been guarding his thoughts very well. She took a drink of clearwine and looked at him as she firmly put the glass back down. "We've waited four months, what's another minute for food?" she asked lightly, eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Rey," he said, in a voice gone low and rough.

She finished her bread and stood up, coming around the table to stand over him. "Don't move," she whispered, and leaned down, her hands tracing over his face, the long jaw, large nose, wide lips—he closed his eyes and caught at her thumb with his teeth, growling a little, before she giggled and pulled free. "I missed you."

He meant to say _I missed you too, every second without you was a waste of time, you're my sun and air and water_ but what came out was a deep groan as her fingers circled his left ear, tracing down to his neck.

Rey laughed again and pulled him forward. "Come on, stand up."

"What?" He stood obediently and let her lead him to the foot of the bed. "Why?"

"I want to undress you," she informed him, and he closed his eyes and breathed a silent prayer into the Force, hoping beyond anything he wouldn't disgrace himself.

Rey reached up and unclasped his one-sided cloak, discarding it. Next she undid the clasps on his gray suit jacket, pushing that off his shoulders, before kneeling and pulling off his boots, one and then the other, then stood back up and tugged his shirt off over his head. She let her hands rest on his chest, her fingers tracing the scars there: the three puckered exit wounds below and above his ribs where the three vibroblades had nearly killed him, the scar she'd given him high on his right shoulder, the bowcaster wound on his left side.

"I'm sorry Chewie didn't come," she murmured, letting her fingers drift over the scar.

"Hmm?" Ben was blinking slowly, looking almost drunk on physical contact. "Oh. He sent a message. He was busy running something past a blockade somewhere. Sends his regards."

"Ah," she said, and walked around him, her hand tracing a line from front to back as she touched each scar, every line on his back and kissed him between the shoulderblades. She felt a shudder go through him, and sensed the very, very tight hold on his self-control.

"Rey," he said, sounding tense. "Any ch—chance we could do this part later?"

"Impatient," she scolded, and pressed her lips to the back of his neck. "You weren't very big on pushing things off for later when you were spying on me from the window."

"Is that—is this revenge for that?" he croaked.

Rey laughed in spite of herself. "No, I think you've been punished enough." She stepped back around to the front and took his hands in hers, placing them on her waist as she reached up and stroked the hair out of his face. "I think we both have." She stood on her toes and kissed him on the lips, firm and gentle, then pulled away, looking up into his face. "I want you," she whispered.

Ben blinked, like he wasn't sure what to do with himself, but in a flash his eyes had narrowed and he was yanking down her binding, exposing her naked chest, both his hands everywhere at once in a frenzy. "Oh, holy Force," he gasped, and fumbled with his trousers. "Kriffing— _argh_ —"

Rey quickly yanked his pants down for him and dragged him forward and down in a kiss. Her tongue found his wide bottom lip, her teeth closing down gently. Ben groaned into her mouth and pulled her backward, landing on the bed with her on top. One hand found her underwear, and with a guttural noise, he tore them off her and threw them aside, exposing her entire body.

"Missed you," she whispered as she kissed his cheek and pinned his shoulders down to the covers. "Let me."

He closed his eyes and let out a soft, urgent groan as she rolled herself gently against the thin fabric of his basics, against the hard, long bulge beneath. "Rey, _please,_ " he managed, his hands gripping her backside, drifting up to cling at her back. Her heat was soaking through the fabric, and he wanted nothing more than to lose himself in her.

"Be still," she ordered, and dragged his shorts down, exposing him. "You're not going to last long, are you?"

"No," Ben growled, and tugged her back down against him, kissing her. He pulled away for a moment and slipped the first two fingers of his right hand into his mouth, Rey watching in fascination as his lips curled obscenely around his knuckles, his cheeks hollowing as he sucked. Then, he withdrew them both with a soft pop and looked her in the eye as his right hand crept between her legs and began to work, warm wet fingers spreading her open, rubbing against the sensitive nub at her crux.

"Oh, _Force_ ," she gasped, arms almost buckling. He wrapped his left arm around her and found her cheek, her jawline, her ear with his lips.

"Do you like it like this?" he purred, and slipped a finger in. Rey bucked and let out an incoherent moan. "Or do you want another one?"

"I want _you_ ," she insisted, clutching at his hair. "Damn you, Ben, I want—"

He added another finger, Rey's voice choked off in a moan. Yes, he thought, this would do nicely. The only thing that could override his burning desire to get his dick inside her was watching her writhe and sweat helplessly over his fingers. "Oh, you do," he whispered, and kissed her throat. "But you're going to finish before you have me. I'll make sure of that."

Rey ground down hard on his hand, biting back a cry as his thumb traced lightly across the front of her. "Ben," she begged, and buried her head down in his shoulder, clinging to him helplessly as his hand moved. For a split second, she thought she might not be able to finish, but he caught her rhythm and matched it, and she was gasping, her hips jerking, grinding out as it felt better and better and _better_ and suddenly she was coming, her body clamped down around his fingers as she let out a low, hard groan that seemed to come right up out of her stomach, and her legs were shaking.

Ben withdrew his hand, and she almost wanted to beg him to put his fingers back where they belonged, but he was touching her and lining himself up and—

He missed her on the first thrust, his dick slipping between her wet thighs and rubbing against her still-swollen folds. " _Damn_ it," he gasped.

Rey panted, "I've got it, shh," and reached down for him, realigning his dick and sitting down gently, taking huffing little breaths as she pressed him inside, stretching and filling her.

Ben let out a soft, high-pitched cry as he bottomed out, clinging to her back, his bitten lips swollen and pink. "I can't—" he gasped, his eyes shining. "Oh, _Force—_ " He flipped her over, still inside her, and pushed so deeply she let out a pained groan, shoving her up against the headboard, gripping the wood with one hand and clutching at her with the other. "Rey—I can't—I _can't_ —"

"Can't— _oh_ ," Rey groaned, the sheer size of him pinning her down and filling her up. "Ben. Don't stop. _Don't stop._ " She clutched at his shoulders, dragging her short nails across his back, and he let out a rough, throaty noise before thrusting, deep and hard and quick; the headboard banging against the stone wall with every movement, _whap whap whap._

"You're mine," Rey gasped as they moved together, her legs wrapped around his waist. " _Mine._ "

"Yours," he panted, his eyes squeezed shut. "Rey. R—" He shuddered, and she felt him through the Force, words failing him, _I can't stop it, I'm going to—_

"Yes," she gasped, "it's all right—"

Three, four more strokes, and he was coming, his teeth bared in a crooked snarl, his hair stuck to his face and every muscle taut and shivering. She held him, her legs aching, until he was done, and slowly he came down and kissed her on the cheek with trembling lips before relaxing into her arms, laying his head on her chest.

"Let's never be apart again," he said after a moment, voice hoarse.

Rey laughed and carded her fingers through his hair. "Good idea," she said, smiling. Her whole body felt pleasantly languid and heavy, his head a rock-solid weight against her chest. Ben stretched lazily and brought his arms up, his big hands cupping her shoulders as he sighed. Rey stroked his hair again and buried her nose in the thick, soft waves, inhaling the scent of him: sweat, leather, and a faint woodsy odor. "And to think I had all those nightgowns given to me for the wedding night," she whispered. "Didn't even need them."

"Mmm," Ben said, his eyes closed. "We do have two weeks."

She let her fingers trace down his upper back, gliding over his freckles, the scars, the planes of hard muscle. "You never did tell me about that song."

"Which—oh." Ben snuffled and raised his head, blinking at her. "Mirrorbright?"

"That's the one."

"Mmm," he said again and rested his chin on her chest. "It's an old Alderaanian lullaby. My mother used to sing it to me when I was very young, and she was always so sad when she did. I didn't find out until I was a little older where it came from and why she was so sad." He closed his eyes for a moment, and Rey saw tears gathering in his lashes. "Alderaan never had a moon," Ben said quietly. "The oddity—having a song about the moon that never was. It must have been borrowed from a world with a moon. Except—the one day Alderaan _did_ have a moon, it—" His breath caught. "It was the Death Star," he said. "And my mother was on board, seeing her home planet one last time as it was blown apart in seconds. She used to think—I would hear her, sometimes, thinking about the children. How they must have looked up at the sky, so excited, thinking the moon from the song had come to them at last."

"Oh," Rey said softly.

"And after Hosnian Prime—" his voice choked off. A pair of tears tracked down his face and landed, warm, on her skin. "I'm sorry. Some things are still too raw to talk about."

"I won't make you talk about it," Rey said, tears in her own eyes in spite of herself. She could sense a deep, deep vein of grief and shame, rolling off him in the Force. "I shouldn't have brought it up. It's all right."

"It's not," he said bleakly. "I won't—" He hoisted himself up from her arms and rolled, crawling under the covers, and she felt a wall clamp down, blocking her off from sensing his emotions. "I won't burden you with it. It's not your fault. I'll live with it, not you." Ben lay down facing away from her.

"I'm sorry," Rey said, and joined him under the sheets and the comforter. "Please, don't shut me out. You can talk to me." She reached out and laid a hand on his back. "I know there are things you haven't told me. Bad things, things that happened to you and things you did, things you chose to do and things you had to do. I can sense the shape of them, sometimes, when you let down your guard. But we promised not to keep things from each other."

"One day," he told her. "One day when I can, I will. But not tonight." He rolled over and faced her, his dark eyes still wet, and took her hands in his. "Can you live with that, as a promise?"

"Yes," she whispered, and kissed his hands. "We have ten years. I can wait."

Ben sighed and rolled closer to her, one hand finding her waist and the other stroking her hair out of her face. "I don't deserve you. Those doors opened and you called out your name and it was like…like the air turned to gold in my lungs. Heavy and suffocating and shining—I thought I was going to die."

"Poet, are you?" Rey teased, blushing. "We should get to sleep. We have a big day of absolutely nothing but being in bed with each other tomorrow."

"Good," said Ben, and curled in close, his head on her shoulder. "I'd hate to oversleep and miss out on that." He pulled his left hand close and peered at the ring, shining bright on his index finger. "What's this made of, anyway?"

Rey kissed his forehead and rested her chin on his head, breathing in the soft scent of his hair again. "When I soldered your grandfather's saber back together on Naboo, there were a few odd hunks of metal casing left over. So I saved them. And I got a metalsmith in the city to melt them down and forge them—anyway, now they're your ring. I thought—I thought you should have a piece of your family with you, always."

He went very still and did not speak for a minute. "Oh," he said after a moment, and it sounded muffled, choked off. She felt a hot tear fall on her chest, then another.

"There really shouldn't be this much crying on a wedding night," Rey said softly, cupping the back of his head. "Are you crying because you're happy, or do you hate it?"

"I'm crying because I'm touched," he responded thickly, and sniffed before looking up at her, his nose gone red and his eyes wet. "So yes. I am happy. Thank you." He scooted his body up slightly and kissed her on the lips, soft and gentle, his mouth trembling slightly. "Go to sleep, Rey Seadreamer. I love you."

She fought against sudden tears at the unexpected tenderness in his voice, and laid a hand along his cheek. "Good night," she whispered, and he laid himself down, arms wrapped around her, holding her closely to his chest as they drifted away; the two lost souls having found their home at last.


	62. Epilogue

**FIVE YEARS LATER**

 

"Arms up, first position—level out your blade, Mira. This is Form II, you are not holding a broom. Dax, foot position. There you go."

Rey stood, arms crossed, overseeing her charges. Mira, who was tall for her age at ten, stuck out her tongue in concentration as she held her training staff upright, her long brown hair caught into a braid falling over her shoulder. A few strands had come loose and tangled around her horns. "Like this, Master?" she asked.

"Perfect." Rey glanced over at U'yi, facing Mira. At twelve, he was already only a few inches shorter than Rey. "U'yi, you may attack."

His footwork and form was flawless, as always. With a quick series of steps and measured thrusts and parries, he blocked Mira in, trapped her arms, and tapped her neck with his light staff. "Yield," he said, grinning.

"You _always_ win," Mira said, half-pouting and rubbing her neck as he pulled away.

"That's because you're not looking to see what he's going to do next. Again." Rey clapped and they assumed starting position again, saluted each other, and began.

She turned and faced Dax, who was paired off with Riyn, a thickly built twelve-year old from Coruscant who had been there for the last four years. " _Footwork._ Dax, get your feet in gear. Riyn, hands closer together. There you go. Salute and attack. Begin."

Past them, five other pairs of students were carefully moving through a set of five moves: parry, slash, left, right, and parry. Tem and Ara were overseeing the last four pairs, guiding form and footwork. Both the sixteen-year-olds had their own sabers clipped to their belts, and were using sticks to demonstrate.

"Ouch!" cried Windi, a small twelve-year-old girl with twin blonde braids. Rey glanced over to see her tumble into the dirt, stepping on her ankle wrong and landing on her backside.

"Hold!" she called, raising an arm, and knelt down by the ten-year old. "Can you move it?"

"Ow, no," said Windi, bravely fighting tears as she winced. "It hurts, Master Rey."

Rey felt for the ankle (a sprain, by the feel) and looked up at Windi's sparring partner, a much taller girl named Netta who had a bit of a reputation for being overly enthusiastic in sparring and grappling. "Netta, this is an excellent opportunity for you to learn the art of healing, the counterpart to the art of sparring, in which you have already displayed your aptitude. The two go hand-in-hand. You will assist Windi to the Temple and wrap her ankle. Emdee will instruct you. Return afterward. You will spar with me."

Netta looked guilty. "Yes, Master," she said quickly, and helped Windi off the ground, walking back toward the low, sprawling Temple complex on the outer boundary of the wide lawn.

Rey stood up, listening for a moment to the clacking and buzzing of the training sabers and the wind rustling through the trees. She moved out of the sparring line to observe, walking up and down the line thinking about how Dax _really_ needed more one-on-one time to practice footwork, and that was when she sensed him.

"Students, hold," she ordered, and they all powered down their training sabers and stood at attention, feet apart and sabers held down.

Ben was walking toward them, holding a datapad in one hand, and Rey tucked both her hands in her wide sleeves as he neared them. "Good morning, Master Skywalker," she said, smiling, and the students echoed her greeting and bowed from the waist. He was dressed in his usual gray and brown robes, a simple tunic and belt and trousers, and his long, dark hair was tied into a tail at the back of his head, a few loose tendrils framing his large ears. His short beard and mustache were groomed neatly, the hair on his cheeks a little less neat, but severely trimmed below his high cheekbones.

"Good morning, Master Seadreamer," he answered, returning the bow. "I've just received a message from the Senate." He held out the datapad. "They send a request for two Jedi peacemakers to travel to Wobani. It looks like there's a fairly large border war on the verge of breaking out, and the military forces on both sides have gotten nowhere in the Senate."

"Two Jedi peacemakers for a border skirmish?" Rey scanned the crowd of eager students. "They need someone who understands the value of listening to both sides, then. Perhaps also someone who has shown a history of being slow to anger and quick to be silent?"

Ben nodded. "Indeed."

Rey held out a hand. "Arashell. U'yi. Step forward, please."

Ara, her astonishment radiating like heat through the Force, stepped forward and bowed, U'yi doing the same behind her. "Master Ben, Master Rey," she said, bowing. A few ginger curls that had slipped from the twin knots on her head bounced slightly.

"Yes, I think they'll do very well," said Ben. "Ara, when you studied the history of border disagreements, you studied the history of Wobani. How much do you remember?"

"Yes, Master," she said quickly. "It was the site of many Imperial work camps during the days of the Empire. After the destruction of the Empire, factions of prisoners threw down their Imperial masters and fought with each other over land and resources. Now, Wobani is a fractured planet with over eight hundred representatives in the new Republic Senate, since there's no centralized government." She looked down at her boots. "There's a lot of poverty and war."

"Very good," said Ben. "This is the particular dispute over where the western border of Ilium should lie."

"Oh," said Ara. "The dispute between the five rival factions in Ilium?"

"Precisely," said Ben. "Yes, you'll be perfect for the task. U'yi, will you accompany Ara and assist her?"

U'yi considered for a moment, tapping his fingers rhythmically against the soft fabric of his trousers, and nodded after a moment. "Yes, Master," he said.

"Excellent. Both of you may go to the Temple. I'll brief you there on details in a few minutes." Ben turned to the class. "It's nearly noon. Time for an early lunch. Class dismissed."

Delighted, the students all headed back to the Temple, talking among themselves.

"Her first real assignment by herself," said Rey, watching the bright curls bounce away. "I hope she'll be all right."

"She'll be fine," Ben said, laying a hand on her shoulder. "She's got a good head on her shoulders, and a sense for staying out of danger. She and U'yi both passed their last diplomacy and survival tests with flying colors, and she did great on her last mission with you. Now if you'd sent Tem…"

Rey laughed. "Force help us all when _he_ gets his first assignment." They began to walk together, out of earshot of the last students. "I'm glad the Senate is sending to us for help regularly. I mean, it might be out of sheer desperation, but at least they're treating us like Jedi and not like a curiosity."

"Oh, I know," said Ben, smiling. His angular dark eyes sparkled with a memory, and the web of laugh lines at the corners deepened. "Remember that tourist delegation from Corellia? I thought Tem was going to kill someone after the third comment about how cute they were, _playing_ at being Jedi."

"Well, they learned their lesson." Rey sighed, remembering. "I had to send that one man a handwritten apology for the damage."

"I'm surprised you didn't volunteer to take Ara," Ben told her. "Chance for an adventure and all that. You enjoyed the last outing to Coruscant."

Rey tilted her head up at him. "And leave you here with the students all alone?" She laughed and looked down. "No, actually, erm. I have a fairly good reason to stay out of dangerous situations at the moment."

"Hm?" asked Ben, pausing in his stride. "What do you mean?"

She swallowed and peered up at him again. "Well. I know we promised that we wouldn't keep things from each other. But I wanted to be absolutely sure before I said anything, because—you know, I didn't want you to panic over nothing, and after that I wanted to wait a bit longer because Emdee said once you get past a certain week, your chance of losing it drops exponentially—"

"What are you talking about?" he asked blankly.

"This," said Rey, and with a light mental push, lifted the shield that she'd carefully created for the past eight weeks, the block that had been preventing anyone with the ability to use the Force from sensing the thing she had been hiding, the secret she'd been protecting behind the barrier. "All right, reach out. Look at me. I mean, _really_ look at me. Head to toes. Go."

Ben reached out, curiously, his brows drawn together in an expression of confusion, and she sensed his careful, probing deliberation over her body—from head to shoulders, shoulders to chest, chest to—

He went white as a sheet and staggered backward. "Holy Force," he gasped. "Are you—you're—"

Rey laughed and reached out, taking his hands. "You can see it?"

His face was a study in shock. "I'm—if I reach out, is it going to hurt it, or—"

"No, no," she assured him. "It's not even conscious yet. It can't feel a thing."

Ben swallowed and reached forward, laying one of his big, work-roughened hands gently over her abdomen, just below her hand-tooled lightsaber belt, and carefully explored her body with the Force at the same time, sensing again the thing that had startled him so much.

A spark. The tiniest, tiniest speck of pulsing light—a life-form, nestled deeply in the cradle of her pelvis.

"How—how long have you known?" he rasped, tears in his eyes.

"I knew from about three weeks on," she told him, her hand pressed down to his. "I remembered seeing the kids' life-forms through the Force, when I was looking for them way back when—they were like burning flames, bright and clear and solid, and this is more like…a tiny, I don't know, a proto-spark, but it gets brighter every week. Emdee says I'm about eleven weeks along, which means I have about thirty to go."

Ben dropped to his knees in the grass, both hands still on her lower belly. He couldn't speak.

"Are you—are you happy?" Rey looked down at him, slightly apprehensive. "We had that whole talk when the TI-4R8 expired four months ago, remember? I thought you'd be pleased."

Ben still couldn't speak. Tears were streaming down his face. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his head to her, sobbing. "Really?" he finally managed to get out. "You're really—we're _really_ —"

" _Yes_ ," said Rey, beaming down at him. "Goodness, this was not the best time, was it? You've got to go in for that Wobani debriefing and—"

"Kark the debriefing," Ben said, laughing through his tears, and kissed her belly before hugging her again around the waist. "Kriffing—you know, I _thought_ your breasts were getting a little bigger, but I couldn't sense a damn thing, so I just—I thought it was just normal, or something. And you haven't even been sick in the mornings, or—"

"No," Rey said, laughing. "Some people just aren't. I suppose I got lucky. Although the smell of soft cheese does sometimes hit me funny." She patted his head. "Come up here and kiss me."

He got awkwardly to his feet and drew her into a kiss. "Let's hope it doesn't have my ears," he said. "Or my nose. Or my temperament."

"Your temperament has been fine for the past four years," she informed him. "Year one doesn't count." In spite of her words, she could sense the fear gathering, the deeply unsettling memories of his own childhood, and the desperate hope nothing and no one would ever—

"Ben," she said quietly, her hands on his upper arms. He looked away, unable to meet her gaze. "This—this baby is not going to be influenced by anything other than you and me. If I can sense when Dax is trying to provoke Riyn through the Force by calling him a dirty nerf-milker when they're meditating, I'll be able to sense some nefarious Dark Side user targeting something growing inside me. This child is going to know nothing but love and light and nurture, because that's what we're going to give it, and we're not going to leave it all alone _anywhere_ , not for a single second, and if we _do_ we're going to come back every time and—and tell it how much we _love_ it—" tears were beginning to choke her throat "—and how sorry we were to leave but that we're back now, and, and—"

Ben pulled her into a warm, solid hug and rested his chin on her head as she struggled to get control of her emotions. "You can really sense that?" he asked gently.

"Yes," she told him, sniffing. "It started to manifest a year after the whole forceblight thing—you wouldn't believe some of the insults they think at each other when they're supposed to be one with the Force. It's—you sort of have to go into one person's mind, and track what they're thinking and what they're sensing, then track _that_ back and—"

"I believe you," Ben said honestly, and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Just—if you sense a single thing, anything off, you'll tell me?" He pulled back to look at her, and his dark eyes searched hers, the fine lines at the corners deepening as his brows drew together.

"Yes, I swear," Rey told him, and laid a hand on his cheek, listening as his doubt and fear melted away—just a little—in the warmth of her promise. "Now let's go get that debriefing done before the students come looking for us."

They walked back toward the Temple, husband and wife together, Ben's arm protectively curled around Rey's shoulders and Rey's arm wrapped around Ben's lower back.

All was well. They were one with the Force, and the balance had found them at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we. are. done. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for subscribing, commenting, blowing up my inbox with keyboard smashes of emotion, and generally being interested in this monster of a fic. Stay subbed to the series A Handful Of Stars for extra in-universe drabbles and deleted scenes! [blows kisses]


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